Forgiven (5 page)

Cole’s shoulders sank. “That’s a really, really long time.” He perked up some.

“Hey, how’d the baby get in your tummy, any way?”

This time Landon raised an eyebrow at her and mouthed the words good luck.

Thank, she mouthed back. She tilted her head, searching for an explanation.

“Well—” she felt her eyes suddenly start to dance—”God decided it was time for us to have a baby.” She squeezed his hands. “That’s how.”

“Oh.” Cole’s mouth hung open for a few seconds. “I wish it would come sooner.”

“Us too.” Landon slapped his hands on his knees. “Babies take a lot of time, Cole.”

“Okay.” A grin lifted the corners of Cole’s lips. “But it’s really, truly coming? I’m really getting a baby brother?”

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“Or a baby sister.” Ashley put her hand alongside his soft little-boy cheek.

“The baby could be either one.”

“I bet it’s a boy!” He pulled free of her, skipped around the room, and stopped near the doorway. Then he lowered his head, raced across the floor, and jumped into Landon’s arms. “Know what the bestest part is, Daddy?”

Ashley studied her son in Landon’s arms. Hearingyou call him Daddy… that’s the best part.

“What, buddy?” Landon cuddled him close to his chest. “What’s the best part?”

“Well–” he did an exaggerated swallow—“‘member how I didn’t have you for a daddy at first?”

Landon’s expression softened. He stroked Cole’s back and sent a tender look toward Ashley. “I remember.”

Cole put his little fingers on Landon’s head and patted him. “My little brother will have you for a daddy right from the start.” He smiled his sweetest smile.

“That’s the bestest part.”

Ashley’s heart was full as they drove to her father’s house. Cole’s reaction to the news, his joy and exuberance, his tenderhearted comments were something she would treasure forever. She could already see the outlines of a new painting, one that would have an expectant mom and dad with a boy bouncing between them, caught up in the news. It would be Landon’s present for when the baby came.

Now she could hardly wait to tell the others. Brooke and Kari and their families would be at dinner also. It was something they did once every month or two, so none of them was expecting the announcement from Ashley and Landon.

But her heart held other thoughts, too, thoughts of her mother. When she had Cole, the circumstances had been anything but joyful. After a year in Paris, painting and working at a

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small gallery, she’d come home pregnant and ashamed. Cole’s birth father was a famous artist. A married artist. Ashley felt she was the bane of the Baxter family back then, and the shame she heaped on herself was enough to keep an ocean of distance between her and her mother.

Now, though, if her mom were here, they would hug and hold hands and celebrate every moment. Ashley thought about that for a moment. As difficult as things had been during her first pregnancy, her mother had still celebrated the birth of Cole. She could take comfort in that at least. For most of his early years, her mother spent more time with him than Ashley did. The two were very close.

She put her right hand over her abdomen. Not so, this little one. This child would never be held by his grandmother, never know her blue eyes or her easy smile or the gentle way she had with children. In five years, even Cole was bound to forget. It was part of the pain of losing her mother, a part that would never get easier no matter how many years passed.

The radio was playing an old love song popular back in Ashley’s high school days. She stared out the window. At least she would never forget. Memories of her mother would always be alive as long as she could share them with Cole and, in time, with this new child. Tears welled in her eyes. She reached across the console and took Landon’s hand. It was still light out. The sun cast a rich glow across the fields between their house and the Baxter home.

God, give Mom a window, please. Let her see how it’s all working out for us.

It was something she’d wanted to believe since her mother died. That maybe God gave the residents of heaven a window to the people they’d left behind. There was nothing in Scripture opposing the idea. Hebrews 12 even talked about people on earth being surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, witnesses who had already gone on to be with the Lord.

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Landon squeezed her hand. “You okay?”

“Hmmm?” She blinked back the layer of tears and looked at him. “Yeah, fine.”

“You’re quiet.” He had one hand on the wheel, his eyes on the road ahead.

“Thinking about tonight, the announcement.” She sucked in her cheek, keeping the tears at bay. “I wish Mom were here.” He ran his thumb over the top of her hand. “Me too.”

In the backseat, Cole had nodded off. The excitement of an extra bumpy frog and the news of a baby brother or sister all by five o’clock had left him more tired than usual.

Ashley glanced over her shoulder at him. “At least Cole got to know her.”

Landon moved his hand and placed it over her right one, the one she still had low on her stomach. “This one will too.” He lowered his chin, his eyes steady on hers for a moment. “Because you’ll tell him.”

Her throat was thick, but she managed a laugh. “You think it’s a boy too, huh?”

“Her. You’ll tell her.” He chuckled. “Cole just seems to know.”

Their laughter faded, and after a minute or so Ashley nodded. “You’re right.”

She looked straight ahead. Her father’s house was a few hundred yards up the road. “I was just thinking that same thing—of course I’ll tell this baby and even Cole when he forgets. Still…” She sniffed and gave him a sad smile. “I miss her so much. I… I just wish she were here.”

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CHAPTER FOUR ……………. : :, ……….

FAMILY DINNERS AT THE BAXTER HOUSE were differ ent now that Elizabeth was gone.

There was no getting around the fact.

At first John tried to duplicate the sort of evening his wife would have put on.

The day before having the kids over, he would buy chicken and vegetables and ingredients for Eliza beth’s special sauces and rice and salad. Hours before they ar rived, he’d don an apron and lay the food out on the counter. But something always went wrong—the chicken was too tough or undercooked, or the sauces clumped into a big ball.

Now they did it one of two ways. Either the girls came early and made dinner or John ordered take-out food. Tonight he had brought home six cartons of Chinese food. He had them hot and ready by the time the first group opened the front door and headed inside. John was filling a pitcher with ice water when he heard the voices of Brooke and Peter and their girls, Maddie and Hayley.

“Papa?” Maddie tore around the corner and into the kitchen, 34

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looking for him. “Hey, there you are, Papa!” She was pure energy, dressed in a sleeveless purple polka-dot dress and purple tennis shoes. “Guess what?”

“Hey, my pretty girl! How are you?” He held out his arms and swept her up onto his hip. She was seven but still very little, small enough to hold. “How’s school?”

“That’s what I wanna tell you, Papa! Fridays are the best day; know why?”

“Why?” John brushed his nose against hers, something the two of them had done since she was just learning to walk. “Why are Fridays the best?”

“Because. .” Her eyes grew so big they were nearly perfect circles. She lowered her voice, as if what she was about to say was an amazing discovery. “It’s called art and recess! All in the same day!”

“Yes!” John matched her enthusiasm. “That would make Fridays best of all, wouldn’t it?”

Maddie wiggled to the ground and hopped around on one foot. “I learned this today fromJuliette, Papa. How to hop!” She made her eyes small and serious.

“Juliette’s the best hopper in room three.”

“Is that right?” He leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms.

“It’s very right, Papa.” She put her hands on her hips and kept hopping. “But I’m gonna beat Juliette pretty soon, ‘cause I’m practicing, that’s why.”

John chuckled low and quiet. Elizabeth had loved this about Maddie—her zeal for life, her enthusiasm. Elizabeth liked to talk about how she herself had been the same way as a little girl. Often Maddie’s energy had spurred Elizabeth to take her on walks or play games with her. It was a way the two of them had connected.

Brooke and Peter rounded the corner pushing Hayley in her wheelchair. Brooke gave a light laugh as she watched Maddie

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jumping around. “So, Dad… I see you’re getting the full demonstration.

Juliette’s school of hopping—something every second-grader needs to know.”

They all chuckled, and even Hayley laughed. She was five now and making strides every day—though the strides had gotten smaller as time passed. Still, her near drowning of two years earlier should’ve killed her. Every stride by itself was a miracle.

John lowered himself in front of her wheelchair and brought her little hand to his cheek. “Hi, Hayley. Papa loves you!”

Hayley grinned big, and something about her expression looked more alert, more the way she would’ve looked if it hadn’t been for the accident. “Love, Papa!

Love!” Her words weren’t perfectly clear, but they were understandable.

John kissed her forehead. Then he stood, shook Peter’s hand, and hugged Brooke.

Their eyes met. “How’s she doing?”

“Great, Papa!” Maddie hopped over, still on one foot. “I’m gonna teach her to hop like me!”

Brooke smiled. “She’s taking more steps in physical therapy. They think she’ll be walking by the end of the year.”

“She’ll need assistance.” Peter ran his fingers through Hayley’s hair. “But after that, only God knows.”

The front door opened again, and this time the voices belonged to Kari and Ryan.

“Hi!” Kari sounded upbeat. “We’re here.”

“Hurry.” John had laughter in his voice. “We’re getting a hopping demonstration from Maddie.”

Jessie raced into the kitchen and watched, mesmerized by her cousin’s hopping.

“I can do it too.” She stood on one foot and began jumping. But at three she wasn’t as balanced as Maddie. As soon as she started, she tumbled over and landed on her bottom.

Kari and Ryan joined them, with ten-month-old baby Ryan on Kari’s hip. “Here, Jessie.” Maddie stopped hopping, ran to her littler 36

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cousin, and helped her to her feet. “It’s easier to hop if we hold hands.”

With fingers joined, the girls smiled at each other and began a sort of hopping duet. When they were done, all the adults burst into applause. John savored the moment, drawing it in the way a man in the desert draws in his first drink of water. The children made up the laughter and life of the old Baxter place. With Elizabeth gone, John lived for times like this. Otherwise the house was too quiet, nothing but memories to keep him company.

Ashley and Landon and Cole arrived then, and John caught a look in Ashley’s eyes. His middle daughter had never been good at hiding her feelings, and now he could tell she had something to say. The way her eyes danced, he figured it would be good. Maybe she’d come up with another painting, another sale at the local shop. She was making a living at it now, bringing in as much money as Landon, doing something she loved and staying home with Cole at the same time.

“Chinese!” Ashley gave a weak smile. “Oh, good!”

Landon put his arm around her and gave her a gentle push. “What she means is, ‘Great! We love Chinese.’”

“You do, right?” John frowned. “I thought for sure everyone loved The Mandarin Dragon’s food.”

The others nodded and gave shouts of approval. Only Ashley looked a little green.John let it go. Ashley had always been picky. Maybe her tastes had changed over the years. “Anyway—” he moved down the row of containers, opening each and sliding spoons into them—”dig in!”

A stack of plates stood on the end of the counter. The kids and the grandkids formed a line, and after a few minutes everyone had their food. As always, they easily fit around the Baxter dinner table. Elizabeth had seen to that. She was the one who had insisted all those years ago that they get the largest table they could find.

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“So we can have the kids and the grandkids back whenever we want,” she’d said at the time.

Now John watched as everyone took a seat, and he smiled to himself. You were right, dear Elizabeth. Right again. When everyone was settled, John reached his hand out to Kari on one side and Landon on the other. Hands were joined around the table, and John bowed his head. “Lord, we are thankful to be together, now as always. Thanks for the food and for providing every good thing.” He hesitated, emotional in a way that occurred more often since Elizabeth’s death.

He thought of Maddie’s hopping session. “And thank You for the memories we make when we’re together.”

Everyone but Ashley was halfway through a second round of sweet-and-sour chicken and chow-mein noodles when she pushed her full plate back and looked at Landon.

At about the same time there was a lull in the conversation.

Landon cleared his throat. “Okay, everyone. We can’t wait another minute.”

Kari put her fork down and stared at her sister. “Wait for what?”

The scene had played out a number of times around the Baxter dinner table, announcements about one thing or another—weddings and children and other milestones in life. John felt a rush of joy. Something big was coming, and he no longer thought it had anything to do with a painting.

Ashley laughed and leaned on Landon’s shoulder. “Didn’t you wonder why I couldn’t eat even a forkful of Chinese food?”

“Yah!” Cole raised his fork in the air. “My baby brother doesn’t like Chinese food—that’s why!”

A thrill ran through John, the length of his spine and all the way to his toes.

“You’re having a baby?” He was on his feet and moving behind Ashley and Landon.

Kari squealed and Brooke broke into applause. “It’s about time!”

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“That’s what I said!” Cole sat up on his knees and grinned at the faces around the table. “Only now we have to wait till April.”