Forgetting Jane (4 page)

Elias grabbed his coat and rushed past the nurses’ desk, right into the closing elevator. He was glad it was empty. Leaning against the wall, his mind raced to that day. Her death would burn in his soul forever.

He wished he had talked Elise into staying with family until her bastard husband was caught. But not listening to reason, the stubborn woman wanted to go home. She had assured him that she was safe.

He’d ignored all the alarms that went off in his head and drove her home, to her death. Her husband had waited for her to come home. Squared off, gun to gun, Elise’s husband shot first. The bullet caught deep in Elias’s shoulder while his bullet was trained on the man’s arm. Instead, Elise stepped in front of her husband and it hit her in the chest. She died almost instantly.

Knocking his head back against the hard wall, he hoped the pain would bring him back to the present. Wiping the wetness off his cheeks, Eli promised himself he would never cry.

Elevator door opened and he rushed out of the hospital. The cold winds slapped against his face, sharp and precise. His head cleared some, but the familiar heady thirst scratched his throat. His angst goaded him.

“Fuck!” He let out a loud shout in the parking lot. The rage to take a drink was more powerful than before. He wanted a cigarette too, dammit.

The second he reached his truck, he took out a cigarette he had been saving for an emergency and placed it between his teeth. The tip of his tongue stroked the end of the filter, which gave him the urge to light it. He didn’t, though. The taste placated some of his craving, but it didn’t quell the need for a bottle of scotch—a fifth would do.

He rubbed at his right shoulder and ignored the pinch of pain that shot through to his collarbone. He leaned against his truck and took in a shuddering deep breath. The thirty-degree wind chill started to settle his taut nerves. He unbuttoned his shirt, leaving him only in a white T.              

“Why am I here?” he questioned as he leaned back against the truck, with both arms crossed his chest, looking up at the black clear sky. The only response was the stars twinkling above.

Ever since he was appointed chief, he’d felt out of step. The Jane Doe case made him even more off balance. He hadn’t picked up a drink in three years or a cigarette for a week. Now he was craving both.
Desperate.

He took out a small Bic from his pocket and contemplated on lighting the cigarette. Instead, he threw the lighter inside the truck.

“Get your head out of your ass, McAvoy,” he said to himself. His job was to serve and protect the people of this town. He needed to keep a level head at all times. It didn’t matter if he was a simple officer or the chief of police. There were no allowances for past mistakes or emotions to get in the way of doing what was important, and right.

Then why did this case, or Jane for that matter, get under his skin? He knew deep down, if there were a chance to redeem himself…No. There was no room for redemption.

Self-doubt covered him like Jane’s puke.

The wind shifted suddenly to the north. It felt colder, harsher than it had, then stilled. An eerie lull filled the night. A tingle ran across his skin. He rolled his broad shoulders back and shifted his head from side to side. The sudden tightness in his neck felt like a warning.

He was being watched. Elias could sense it. It was the same feeling when he and his unit almost stumbled into a trap in Bagram, Afghanistan. And the same when he stood by the lake.

Looking around, Eli noticed nothing. He blew out a breath, ignored his instincts, and slid into the truck.

Chalk it up to no sleep. He shook his head, put the shift in gear, and headed home.

A
drenaline ran high in his bloodstream. He waited two long days before he saw Jane.

He slithered through the hospital like a snake, hiding in the shadows, avoiding the night staff.

He stepped in Jane’s room and strolled up to the bed. He stared down at her with slowly rising rage.
How in the hell did she survive?
Who would have guessed you’d make it through. Stubborn little bitch.
He lightly touched her cheek; the heat from her puffy cheeks seared the pads of his cold fingers.

The small overhead light cast a soft glow around her, almost ethereal. She was no angel.

He grabbed the chart that hung on the wall and read it.
Jane Doe
.
Ha. Wouldn’t they like to know your real name?

After placing the chart back in its place, he walked to the foot of the bed with great satisfaction in knowing what others didn’t. He reached out and touched her left foot, shaking it gently back and forth. He wanted her to wake up and see him. That first reaction was critical, it set his heart pounding while he waited for her to move.

She hadn’t moved. Not even a moan.
How fucking disappointing
.

He walked to her side and studied her face. “You should have stayed dead and buried. You are nothing but a complication to me,” he whispered, shaking his head.

The chloroform had never fully worked on her when he dragged her out of her car. He should have smacked her a few times with the shovel: that would have done the trick.             

Though, she gave him such a thrill when he’d yanked her by the hair down to the basement—she’d fought like a stray cat. Her screams sent a rush of adrenaline right down to his dick.

              Yet, when she kicked free and ran out of the house, it stopped being fun. He’d had no choice but to kill her. Granted, smacking the metal shovel against the back of her head before she escaped wasn’t the brightest idea. He’d never thought she would dig herself out of the ground.

Eyeing the gauze on Jane’s head, he thought it was a shame her head was covered. He wanted to see what it looked like. He trailed his finger along the edge of the white cotton dressing across her forehead, almost tempted to cut it open and take a peek inside.

The nurse cut her hair off. That really pissed him off. That redheaded bitch chopped it short. It wasn’t pretty and long the way he liked it.

He’d loved the way it tangled in his fingers, especially when he pulled Jane out of her car. It had been a special moment for him. For both of them.

The raw markings around her wrists and ankles made him shiver with joy. His branding from the old rope he had since he was a child, made his dick rock hard.

Her blackened torn fingernails showed him just how much of a fighter she was. A thin smile sliced across his face as he imagined her frantically digging herself out of the hole. A soft chuckle escaped his lips while he squeezed her fingertip.              

A slight groan came from Jane. Her soft moan came out in a feminine purr. He sucked in a breath and smiled wider. “You do strange things to me, Jane.”

He clutched the bedrail, his knuckles turning white. The urge to drag her off the bed consumed him. He took a deep breath, tilted his head to the left, and then cracked his neck side to side.

He closed his eyes for a second to let the spiraling pleasure form in the pit of his stomach. Once he got his feverish urge under control, he released the metal bed railing.

Could this be a second chance to have her? Maybe keep her longer than the rest…
Smother her
!
Clean this up before anyone finds out!
No loose ends. Too risky. He had to get rid of her. Loose ends led back to him.

He reached down and grabbed the pillow off the chair with both hands, paused and hovered over her face. He never got to properly play with this one.

“
C’est la vie
,” he whispered. He slipped the oxygen tube out of her nose and pressed the pillow down on her face. As he compressed it, muted satisfaction settled over him as her body jerked. No real struggle. How disappointing.

Sounds of footsteps from the hall broke his concentration.
Shit, someone’s coming
. With gritted teeth, he threw the pillow back on the chair and slipped behind the crushed curtain next to the wall.

The door opened, and he watched the tall, redheaded nurse walk past.

The EKG monitor beeps were erratic for a few seconds and then slowed to an even rhythm again.              

“Dang you, Jane. Touching the oxygen tube is a no-no.” After slipping the oxygen tube back in Jane’s nose, the nurse checked her vitals.

The nurse picked up the chart and wrote something down. After tucking Jane’s sheets in, the nurse hung the chart where it belonged and left.

Clung to the wall, he watched and listened to the successions of beeps of Jane’s heart monitor.

It had been a long time since he’d had a challenge such as this. He wouldn’t waste it on a hole this time around. He was much more creative, much too smart for that, or he would’ve been caught years ago.             

She was a thrill
he
was willing to risk. His dick throbbed. The zipper rubbed his sensitive foreskin. It added to the pleasurable pain he desperately needed to quench.

A rush flooded his senses as the intricacies of a new game formed in his head. Adrenaline and excitement almost made him cum in his pants.

When he stepped out from the behind the curtain, bent close to Jane’s ear, the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood straight out. Goose flesh rose tight along his skin. Like a thousand ants, biting his body.

He spun toward the door. No one was there.

A shadow fluttered outside the window. He peered out through the open blinds. A fir tree swayed against the pane. Flashes of yellow caught his eyes at the trunk. He spread the blinds farther apart and his hand splayed against the glass.

His heart hammered against his chest. Sweat crested his forehead and slipped down his reddened temples. He wasn’t going to get caught by some nosy little bitch. Little girls needed to learn lessons of obedience too. If he caught whoever was watching him, he’d make sure she learned a valuable lesson about spying on others.

He wanted to bang on the window, but that would have caused attention in the room.

He glanced at Jane for a second and then turned back to the window.
Nothing but the fucking wind and a lone fir tree.
Looking down, he realized it was impossible for anyone to peer inside the window. They were on the second floor. It must have been a plastic bag blown and hung up on one of the branches. There was nothing there now.

Pinching his eyes closed for a second, he opened them again, and noticed a solid handprint marked on the window.
His
handprint. Without hesitation, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom, and wiped his presence away.

              Right after he dropped the towel in the small bin, sounds from the hall drew his attention. The chief’s voice streamed in loud and clear.
Fucker.

He slid back against the wall and pushed the curtain closed.

***

E
lias walked into the room, his attention solely on Jane. He sat down next to her and threw his head back against the chair. Every night he’d get up and drive to the hospital. And every night, he’d sit by her side and wait. He’d watch her sleep.

Exhausted and tired. Not able to sleep himself, his mind spun a whirlwind of images of his past, and of Jane. If he couldn’t sleep at home, the hospital was the next best place.

It had been almost two weeks and nothing had been cleared up from the crime scene except for her blood and hair samples. There had been nothing else to go on.

Jane hadn’t fully awakened yet. Until that time, Elias had to be patient. All the answers were in her head. Who did this to her? Who was she? And why?

Those questions were like nails pounded into his skull.

Elias took a deep breath and let his body give in to the fatigue. He adjusted the shoulder holster, so his berretta wasn’t digging into his side.

Dropping the bill of his hat over his eyes, his lids fluttered shut. The sounds of Jane’s heart monitor lulled him to a light sleep.

As he sunk deeper, an icy chill blew across the nape of his neck. Eli’s scalp tightened in response. He jumped out of the chair, knocking his hat off his head. Eli swung around the room, gun drawn, ready for what waited there.

They were alone.

Damn
. He could have sworn…

Elias checked out the bathroom. Empty. He swiped at the swaying privacy curtain, pushing it away from the wall. Stepping out into the hallway, no one was in sight. Not even an echo of shoes hitting the linoleum floor.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Eli thought he’d gone crazy.

He headed back into Jane’s room and sat down. Taking in a deep breath, he kept his eyes wide open.

S
ix a.m. came too soon, especially when his nightmares had kept him up for most of the night. It didn’t help his cause that he finally came home and got to bed after three.

Elias slammed his hand down when the clock radio screamed out. “Uhh. Fifteen more minutes,” he yawned out.

He drifted back to sleep, but his cell phone vibrated on his nightstand.

He flipped it open with force. “What.” His voice was razor sharp.

“Is that how you answer the phone, Elias?” Magda charged.

“I’m sorry, but is there a reason why you’re calling me this early, Miss Magda?” He became more contrite.

“Bad dreams again?”

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“I called because Jane’s fully awake now.”

It was about damn time. He wanted—needed answers. Three days passed since Jane had woken with a shriek, and nothing since.

“I’ll be right there.” Elias snapped his cell phone shut and threw it on the bed next to him.

Elias’s back ached from the tossing and turning on an old spring mattress. The weariness caught up to him.

He sat up, draping his legs over the edge of the bed and raked his hands through his sweat-dampened hair. He pulled at his right shoulder where the old bullet wound throbbed. Just another memento of his past.

Elias grunted as he stood. His body protested for more sleep, a luxury he hadn’t been given in to for a long while.

He stumbled his way to the bathroom but not before he nearly broke his right ankle tripping over his dirt-encrusted boots. Elias kicked them off to the side and lumbered into the bathroom.

Elias looked into the oval mirror. A zombie stared back at him. Eyes were red and glazed over from lack of sleep. Too tired to shave, it’d been a month since he’d taken a razor to his face.

Instead of a shower, Elias splashed cold water on his face and did a once over with the toothbrush. He dragged his clothes off the floor and put them on as he stumbled downstairs.

As he stalked out of the white farmhouse he had grown up in, he zipped up his jacket and headed out to his truck. He glanced over at the swinging real estate sign that had been posted in the front yard for almost two years.

The hundred acres were broken into two huge lots, one for farming and the other half, woods. Elias wasn’t sure if it would ever sell. A few prospective buyers came looking, but when they saw what the land needed, they dropped it like a hot frying pan.

His father claimed, since he never divorced Elias’s mother, the property rightfully belonged to him. But Barbara McAvoy’s bequest stipulated the land and everything on it belonged to her son, and no other. It was her last barb against James, and he deserved it.

He ignored the uneasiness the sign gave him and got in the truck. Elias radioed in to the station and headed straight to the hospital.

Still fogged with sleep, Elias detoured down Becker Street to the Coffee Barn at the edge of town.

The small red building resembled a barn. It had a drive up window Elias loved. He never had to get out of his truck. The owner, Penny May, added that feature a year after she bought the small building.

The scent of the dark liquid infused with the cold air called to him like a siren. He ordered his usual, black with four sugars.

“Here you go, Chief.” Penny reached out and handed him a large cup.

“Smells great, Penny.” He cupped it with both hands and sipped it as though his life depended on it.

He took a moment to let the caffeine filter into his system. “Aah. That’s more like it. Great as usual, Penny.” He smiled at her and handed her a five, double what the coffee cost. It was worth it. “See you tomorrow.” And he drove off toward the hospital.

Elias drank the rest in slow gulps as he pulled into the parking spot.

He entered the three-story brick building and went straight to the elevator. He avoided eye contact with any of the nurses at the welcome desk, especially Caroline Weaver. He wasn’t in the mood for her cat and mouse chase.

Thanks to Magda’s insistence, he took Caroline out once. She’d been nothing but a pain in his ass from the moment they had their one and only date a year ago. He found out that night she’d go to any lengths to get him in her bed and a ring on her finger.

She idolized the idea of being married and having children. Caroline kept a constant chatter of how cute a couple they were too. Blah, blah, blah was all he heard. But her shallowness and rude demeanor sparkled like the diamond she craved on her finger. She was trouble and he’d had to break clean from her fast.

Marriage wasn’t a factor in his life, or children, for that matter. Both symbolized the loss of freedom and to think for oneself. He and his family were proof of that.

Elias saw firsthand a man who didn’t give two shits about his wife or his family. James McAvoy was the epitome of a lowlife alcoholic father and abusive husband who did them a favor when he took off.

Elias promised himself that he would never pass that disease down to his children. His life wasn’t worth the sacrifice. And relationships only caused misery.

Sex? Well, that was another beast he’d rather tackle with someone else. No strings attached had always been his motto, and Caroline was a gnarled wad of yarn.

Crap!
She’d seen him. He turned to the opening elevator door, but he was too late. The tall voluptuous blonde blocked his way. She stood nearly eye to eye to him. One of her brows was arched high and her upturned lips had a fresh coat of glowing red lipstick. Caroline wasn’t about to be ignored.              

“Hey, Chief. When are you going to ask me out on that second date? I’m still waiting, you know.” Her lips went into a tighter pout, as her left hand planted on her hip and her right pressed against his chest. “Why are you making me wait?”

He removed her roaming fingers and shook his head with an unwelcoming smile. “Caroline, I’m not interested. Never will be.”

Her smile widened. “Well, a girl’s gotta try.”

Any normal red-blooded American male would jump at what Caroline offered. But Eli knew better and was disgusted. He hated the dumb blonde act and the tits and ass charm never interested him.

Elias stood there quiet, eyes fixed on the lipstick on her front teeth. Silence was golden at that point.

She stepped closer to where he smelt her mint gum and her large breasts brushed lightly against his chest. “I’ll see you around, Chief.” She took a step back, which gave him room to escape.

Under his breath, as the elevator door closed, he muttered, “Let’s hope not.”

The ten seconds of peace in the enclosed space gave him the time to adjust his sudden soured mood. Elias slipped a piece of gum in his mouth before the doors opened to the second floor.             

As Elias stepped out, he noticed Magda at the end of the hallway with a tall, reed-thin nurse. What a contrast between the two women, almost six inches apart from head to head.

Magda’s silver hair framed her smooth porcelain face. Always perfectly set, as was her smile. Her Georgian charm exuded grace, patience and civility, but not at that moment. The senior nurse had a frown, which proved her unhappy mood.

Magda turned in his direction and gave him a slight nod. Oh, he was in trouble.

The stroke she’d had a year and a half ago was shown on one side of her face. Her skin was slightly drawn down, which emphasized her frown even more. He’d known this woman most of his life. She was like a second mother. And right at that point, his worry shifted to her.

She dismissed the fidgety nurse and met up with him in the center of the hall.

“Is everything all right?” Elias asked, staring down at her. “Why are you here? I thought your shift ended at eleven last night.”

“Unlike you, we are short staffed for the moment. So I came in early for a few hours to help. Gloria will be here in a half hour to replace me. But that’s not the point. What’s chafing me right now, Chief, is that your phone manners could improve.”

“I’m sor— ”

“I’m not finished.” Elias snapped his mouth shut when she interrupted him. “Whenever you come around here, some of the nurses are more preoccupied with your presence than their patients. Why is that?” She looked up at him with a frown but Elias saw the twinkle in her eyes. She knew the answer but loved to poke fun at him.

“I’m sorry about the phone. No excuses. But I have an answer to your nurses’ problems. If you want, I can arrest them?” Elias gave her a wide grin and took out his handcuffs from his belt and let them dangle off his forefinger.

Her frown changed to a smile. She grabbed his forearm and led him down the hall. “Thank you, but I don’t think that will be necessary. It would cause more chaos in my hospital. Nurses would be lined up, waiting for you to arrest them and nothing would get done.” Magda chuckled. Her laughter always softened his heart. He’d always felt like a little boy around her.

“I’m glad you have your sense of humor back.” Eli enveloped her hand with his. “How is she?”

“Jane woke up around midnight, screaming again. She tried to get up and out of bed, but luckily we were there with another syringe. It stopped her before she seriously hurt herself.”

“And now?”

“She’s calm. But Elias, she was yelling that a man was here to kill her.”

Elias’s jaw clamped tight. His temples ached from the strain in his clamped jaw. He took a breath before he spoke. “Did she say a name?” he said through clenched teeth.

“No, she didn’t.” Magda took in a breath and let it out slowly. So did he.

He nodded. “All right. Why don’t you rest a bit while I go talk to her. I’ll try to get a quick statement and then I’ll drive you home.”

“I don’t need to be coddled. I’m fine. I’ll sit a bit when I finish my rounds, which will be shortly and wait for Gloria to get in.” Magda patted his arm. “Elias, Jane’s teetering on the edge already and she doesn’t need a push from you.” They stopped outside the doorway. “Take care with her.”

“I’ll do my best not to push.” Elias laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it as reassurance to his word.

Elias walked inside the room. She was propped up, face turned toward the window.

The early morning sun sieved through the blinds in a diagonal shade, casting shadows across her face. It hid the faint bruising around her jaw line. Aside from the bandage that wrapped around her head, she looked perfectly normal.

From her pert nose to her oval face, Elias admired the way she sat in a regal manner in the bed.

Elias cleared his throat to get her attention. “Excuse me for the interruption, but I’m Chief Elias McAvoy. Are you feeling well enough to answer a few questions?” He walked over to the side of the bed.

Her relaxed hands turned into fists at her sides. Her body stiffened. When she tilted her head toward him, fear reflected in her light brown eyes.

He caught himself staring and turned his attention to the window. Her simple appeal, he found attractive.
What the fuck is wrong with you?

Elias ignored his brainless libido, swiped his sweaty palms down his jeans and looked at her again.

Jane eyed him like he had three heads. Her close scrutiny made him uncomfortable.

“Are you well enough to talk?” He repeated. Elias dragged the light blue vinyl chair by the door to the side of her bed and sat down. “Sorry. I know you probably have a lot of questions of your own. I will answer them the best I can. But right now, I need a few answers cleared up about what happened and who did this to you.”              

Jane stayed silent, but her lips quivered as if she wanted to say something. Was she afraid?

He’d been warned to tread lightly with her, but he didn’t realize he had to tiptoe on paper-thin glass.

“We can start off simple. What is your name?” Elias sat back and waited. But he was met with silence. “Where are you from?” Again, nothing. “Do you know what happened, or who did this to you?” His voice strained from controlling his agitation.

She shook her head slightly, then looked down at her lap. “No. What… happened to me?” Her voice was a little hoarse.

Elias scratched at his jaw, hesitant about how she’d react. In the past, he’d sugarcoated the truth and in the end, it got a person killed. He wasn’t about to do it again this time.

He blew out a quick breath and explained without the bloody details. “You were found by a couple of hunters and their dog. Someone buried you, and we’re guessing you dug yourself halfway out before they found you.”

She took in a shuddering deep breath. “Okay…Then who did this to me?” Jane touched her cheek.

“I can’t explain who tried to kill
you
. Do you remember anything that can lead us to who did this to you?” Elias took a step forward, but quickly paused when Jane’s body went rigid. Damn, he was scaring her. He continued, though in a softer tone. “You had no identification and your prints weren’t in the local or national database. We have no clues to who you are.”

Tears welled up, and slid down Jane’s cheeks.

Women with tears made Elias very uneasy. His stomach hitched from her soft weeping and wanted to wipe them away. Hold her until she stopped, but that crossed the line.