Forget You (Demon Underground Series) (3 page)

Killed it, they meant.

When Dad remained silent and didn’t say a word, Shawn knew it was true. Fear raised its ugly head again. “So what are you going to do? Murder him, too?”

To Shawn’s horror, Diesel didn’t deny it. “That’s not for me to decide,” he said gravely. “We’re taking him to face a judgment ritual in Albuquerque. The will of the Underground decides his fate. They might even find him innocent.”

But Diesel didn’t believe that—Shawn could see it in his face. So far, the dog was the only one they could count on to give them the full unvarnished truth. Shawn stared at the hellhound. “Max, you tell us. What will happen to my father?”

Max sighed. AS DIESEL SAID, THE RITUAL DECIDES.

“Don’t give me that crap. Tell it to me straight.”

Max glanced up at Diesel and the Paladin nodded, as if giving Max permission. “They deserve to know the truth.”

THE UNDERGROUND CAN’T AFFORD TO HAVE A ROGUE SHADOW DEMON JEOPARDIZING THE WORLD. THE JUDGMENT RITUAL WILL PROBABLY SEND HIM TO THE MEMORY EATER.

“What’s a Memory Eater?” Sharra asked, sounding horrified.

“The proper term is Lethe,” Diesel said. “The Lethe
 . . .
removes harmful memories. Or, in cases where the demon is a potential threat to good order, the Lethe might block his knowledge of how to use his demonic abilities.”

“How would that help?” Sharra asked. “I mean, if the portal only forms when he gets mad, wouldn’t blocking his memory of how to use his abilities make it harder for him to stop it?”

Diesel’s gaze shifted away from them and was silent for a moment before he spoke again, reluctantly. “Since anger triggers the problem, the Lethe would remove his ability to get angry.”

“What? Like an emotional lobotomy?” Shawn asked in disbelief.

YES, OR THE DEMON COULD CHOOSE DEATH, IF HE PREFERS, Max added helpfully.

Shawn gulped. Lobotomy or murder were the only choices? No. This wasn’t right. He couldn’t let this happen. Fear threatened to swamp his senses.

Sharra turned and slugged Shawn in the shoulder as hard as she could. “This is all your fault,” she yelled. “You and your wanting to join the Underground.”

Stunned by the way his normally meek sister turned on him, Shawn massaged his shoulder where she’d hit him. “I didn’t want
this
.” Not at the expense of his father’s life. “Dad, tell them it isn’t so,” he pleaded.

“It’s true,” his father said heavily. “And you deserve to know the whole truth.”

“We don’t need to know,” Sharra said. “Honest, we know you’re a good person.”

“No, Sunshine Girl, you need to know so you don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“What about us?” Sharra asked, her voice shaking. “We’re shadow demons, too.”

“But you’ve done nothing wrong,” Diesel soothed. “The Demon Underground in Albuquerque will take you in, give you a good home, continue to train you to control your powers.”

Diesel laid his hand on Dad’s shoulder, and now that Dad was grounded in another being of this world, Shawn saw his father’s face for the first time in three years. Careworn, looking as if he’d aged five years for each of the three that had passed, Dad looked like an old man, beaten down by life. Worse, scars crisscrossed his face and neck, healed scars Shawn had never seen before. He wanted to tell Diesel to remove his hand and let Dad have his privacy, but he couldn’t. He had to know what happened, see his father’s face to know it was true.

“What mistake?” Sharra asked in a small voice.

“When your mother left, I followed her, begged her to come back and be there for you children.”

He paused, and Shawn had to know. “What did she say?”

“She loved you, she really did, but she wasn’t strong enough to handle our life. She couldn’t take living in secret anymore, and she’d met a man, a full human, who loved her and wanted to take care of her.”

“Mom left us for another man?” Sharra wailed.

Dad nodded, looking sad. “She was going to, yes, so I
 . . .
became angry.”

NO WONDER, Max said in disgust. SHE CALLED HER OWN CHILDREN MONSTERS.

Dad shot the hellhound a dirty look. “They didn’t need to know that,” he said in a clipped tone.

“You read that in Dad’s mind?” Sharra asked, sounding as stricken as Shawn felt.

YES. THAT’S WHEN YOUR FATHER GOT MAD.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” Dad said, looking earnest. “But yes, I got angry. And the damned portal opened.” He glared up at Diesel. “I tried to stop the demon that came through. How do you think I got these scars? But I couldn’t. He killed your mother and knocked me unconscious.”

Shawn gasped. Mom was
dead
? All this time, he thought she’d just left and never come back. He didn’t realize
 . . .
he’d never see her again. Tears filled his eyes, and for once, he was glad no one could see his face.

Dad turned to look at Shawn and Sharra, grief-stricken. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. I didn’t want you to hurt more than you already do.”

THERE’S MORE, ISN’T THERE? Max said.

“Yes.” Dad looked at Diesel, remorse in his eyes. “What you don’t know is that a second demon came through that day, one I’ve been trying to track down ever since.”

Diesel looked shocked. “Did you find it?”
“No. I’ve followed every lead I could, but I haven’t found any demonic happenings anywhere in the area.” He paused. “I think it either went so far underground we can’t find it, or it died shortly after it got here. Maybe the first demon killed it.”

Diesel shook his head, his mouth a grim line as his hand tightened on Dad’s shoulder. “You’d better hope so.”

Shame rippled through Shawn. Dad had a good reason for keeping his secrets. All of a sudden, he wished he could time travel back to the events of this morning, back to when he was ignorant of all this, back to when his life hadn’t been turned upside-down.

His stomach churned so much he wanted to throw up. Why had he pushed Dad so hard? Why hadn’t he left well enough alone, damn it? Instead, he’d just turned everyone’s lives into pure and utter crap.

DIESEL DIDN’T give them time to pack much, saying the Underground would send someone back to get their belongings. They took just enough to last for a few days and headed toward Albuquerque in a van with heavily tinted windows. Sharra cuddled up next to Dad the whole way, pointedly ignoring her brother, as Shawn marinated in guilt.

IT’S NOT REALLY YOUR FAULT, YOU KNOW, Max said.

Shawn knew that intellectually, but it didn’t
feel
that way, especially since Sharra was so pissed at him.
Tell Sharra that.

I DID. SHE’S NOT LISTENING TO REASON RIGHT NOW.

Stubborn as always. But Shawn couldn’t blame her.
Whose fault is it, then? Diesel’s?
he asked the hellhound. After all, if the Paladin hadn’t arrived, they wouldn’t be on the way to his father’s trial. Maybe Dad was right to hate Paladins.

YOU CAN’T BLAME DIESEL FOR DOING HIS JOB, Max said. IF ANYONE IS TO BLAME, IT’S YOUR FATHER, OR MAYBE YOUR MOTHER.

No way. They’d all been doing just fine until Diesel showed up. The Paladin was the one who’d ruined their lives. He brooded all the way to Albuquerque, worrying about what might happen to Dad, to him and his sister, praying with all his might that everything would turn out fine, that Dad would be found innocent of wrongdoing. After all, he hadn’t done anything bad on purpose. That had to count for something, right?

They arrived at a bar in Albuquerque, where the Demon Underground had its headquarters, and were rushed down to the spacious basement where a bunch of people sat around in a circle. All conversation died as they came into the room and everyone gawked. Guess they’d never seen a shadow demon before, let alone three.

They practically had to pry Sharra from Dad’s side as they seated her and Shawn outside the circle. Max settled himself between them, saying in what sounded like a gruff mental whisper, TOUCH ME AND SHOW THEM YOU’RE MOSTLY HUMAN. THAT MIGHT HELP.

Yeah, he had a point. Though Shawn didn’t really want anyone to see how terrified he was right now, he didn’t want them to be scared of him, either. He and Sharra grounded themselves by touching Max, and people stared even more at their human faces. He shifted uneasily under the scrutiny. Sheesh, what did it mean if other freaks thought they were weird?

A gray-haired woman came over and took his father’s hand so everyone could see him, and led him to the center of the circle. “I’m Kathryn, Albuquerque’s Underground leader. We have a quorum here today to form a judgment circle. Would you like to have the ritual now, or wait a few days?”

Please say you’ll wait
, Shawn begged silently. He had a feeling this was going to go horribly wrong, and he wanted to put it off as long as possible.

“I want it over with,” his father said, his face set in hard lines. “I’d like to have the judgment now.”

Crap. It was all moving too fast. He needed everything to slow down long enough for him to get a real grip on what was going on, find his options,
fix
this.

“Very well,” the woman said. “Please, have a seat.”

She led him to a chair at one end of the circle, then sat next to him, keeping her hand on his so everyone could see his face. The Paladin stood behind them, ready to take action in case Dad tried anything.

It wasn’t like any trial Shawn had seen on television. Kathryn asked a bunch of questions about what happened, and Dad answered them honestly and completely, telling them the same story Shawn had heard earlier. He didn’t even try to defend himself. And, when asked, Max confirmed he was telling the truth.

Horror warred with worry within Shawn. This whole thing was surreal. Shawn desperately wished this was all a dream and that he’d wake up soon because things didn’t look so good for Dad right now.

Finally, Kathryn asked, “Does anyone else have anything to add?”

Shawn opened his mouth, but Sharra beat him by a millisecond. “I do,” his sister said. “Can I speak?”

The look Kathryn gave them was compassionate but resolved. “Were you a witness to the portal opening?”

“No, but I am a witness to my father’s character,” Sharra said in a pleading tone. “Doesn’t that count?”

Kathryn looked sad. “It isn’t customary for non-members to speak unless they are witnesses, but I’ll make an exception in your case. Please, say your piece.”

Sharra stood and Max shifted to keep contact so everyone could see her face. She took a deep breath, then said, “He’s a good father, kind and loving but gives us discipline when we need it. He’s been teaching us how to use our powers, how to control them, and make sure that what happened to him will never happen to us. He bugs us all the time about keeping our anger in check and won’t allow us to do anything that would jeopardize that. Doesn’t that prove he won’t allow himself to lose control again?” She looked around, and the faces looking back wore expressions from compassionate to unfeeling. “He only started to lose control this last time because my brother was being so nasty.” Sharra shot Shawn a dirty look, and he couldn’t help but wince at the truth in her statement.

Sounding more passionate now, Sharra added, “I was calming him down, I always do, but Diesel arrived before I could finish. I promise, if you let him go, I’ll watch him and ensure this
never
happens again. Please, please, find him innocent.” Her voice broke then, and tears started flowing. She sat down abruptly.

Shawn stood up, carefully keeping contact with Max. “I agree with everything my sister said. We love him
 . . .
we need him. It was an accident—he didn’t do it on purpose. You can’t do this to him when he doesn’t deserve to be punished.” He didn’t know what else to say, how to convince these indifferent strangers to believe them, so he sat down again, his eyes as watery as his sister’s.