Forget Me Not (10 page)

“Poor Bea,” sighed Father. “Go along then. Have fun and mind you stay out of mischief.” Father stepped closer and whispered. “Explore first class if you must, but stay out of steerage.”

“But I want to see all of the ship,” said Thomas.

“I mean it, Thomas.” Father’s face was stern. “No steerage. If you catch an illness and pass it on to Bea, your mother will flay you alive.”

Thomas felt his shoulders drop. Steerage was one of the few places he and Hugh hadn’t been, apart from a first-class cabin.

“We’ll stay well away from steerage, Father,” said Eve.

Thomas decided he liked Eve better when she was surly and sullen.

“Thomas? I need your word.”

“Yes, Father.”

“That’s the spirit.” Father rubbed his hands together. “See you at luncheon. And for heaven’s sake, don’t be late.”

May your friends be many
And your enemies few
.
May God be your guide
In what ever you do
.
May your virtues ever shine
Like blossoms on a pumpkin vine
.
William Dunford, Hospital Steward,
RMS
Titanic
, 11/04/1912

Thomas, Hugh, Meggie and I took the elevator to the boat-deck. At least that’s where I thought we were going, but when the elevator stopped at A Deck, Thomas stepped out.

“This isn’t the boat-deck,” said Meggie, looking around. “This deck is for first-class passengers.”

“Exactly,” said Thomas. He’d been quiet until now, which was surprising. “Time for an adventure.”

My stomach flipped. Adventures may mean more trouble and that was the last thing I wanted.

“I’ve heard the Verandah Cafe and Palm Court are quite splendid. We’ll go there first, then take the aft Grand Staircase to the boat-deck and visit the gymnasium.”

“A fine plan,” said Hugh and offered me his arm. “Shall we?”

As I slipped my arm through his, Thomas scowled. I wondered what was bothering him. Not that I particularly cared. I was enjoying walking with Hugh.

“Remember,” said Hugh, “act like we belong. We certainly look the part in our Sunday finery.”

I held my head a little higher and tried to glide like the first-class ladies. There were no stewards near the door, so Hugh and I went straight in.

“Oh, my.” I stopped inside the entrance. The room was light and airy with a wall of windows on the ocean side. Fresh air wafted through open doors opposite us and white trellises hung on the walls. Woven through and around the trellises were what I assumed to be imitation green vines. The floor was covered in large black-and-white squares and all the chairs and round tables were white wicker.

Groups of ladies sipped tea and chatted. One lady in a wide-brimmed hat decorated with silk and feathers glanced in our direction and frowned.

“Shall we sit?” asked Thomas. He poked his chest out importantly.

“Excuse me,” said a steward. “If you are looking for the nursery, it’s through there on the starboard side.”

Thomas seemed fit to explode.

Hugh flashed his best smile. “Do you know, I’ve just realised I am in the wrong place. We are to meet our friends in the lounge, not here.”

I shook my head, and played along with his game. “I did try to tell you.”

Meggie stifled a giggle.

“Shall we?” said Hugh. The moment we left the cafe, we burst into laughter.

“So, to the aft Grand Staircase,” said Thomas before the laughter had subsided.

The staircase was far more impressive than the second-class stairs. The balustrades, wooden with black metal inserts either side and down the middle, swept up to wood panelling. The arc of the rail was spectacular. I reached out to touch it. “It’s almost too beautiful to stand on.”

“Have you looked up?” asked Hugh.

When I did, I gasped. Above the staircase was a huge white dome covered in black patterns, perhaps metal. “Is the dome glass?”

“Suppose so,” said Thomas. He moved aside for two gentlemen dressed in suits and hats. “You should see the forward staircase. It leads into the first-class reception room.”

“When did you see it?” I squeaked.

“Hugh and I went when you were stuck in the cabin.”

His tone made me uncomfortable.

“The gymnasium is at the top of the stairs,” said Hugh, brushing past Thomas.

It was the first time I’d been to a gymnasium and was relieved to find it empty, save for the wooden and metal apparatus filling the room.

“The gymnasium hours are here,” said Meggie. She was reading a notice near the door. “It’s open to ladies now and men after two.”

At the other end of the room, two strange pieces of equipment with what I though were saddles faced each other. I walked over and patted the one closest to me. “What on earth is this?”

“Those, miss, are electric horses. The one you are nearest to is for gentlemen and the other for ladies, such as yourself.”

I leaped away from the thing, face red.

A steward, not much older than Hugh, walked towards us. “I’m in charge for now. There’s no one here so have a good look around. See this one,” he pointed to another strange piece made of wood and leather. “This is an electric camel and these are rowing machines. Anyone care to try one?”

“I will,” said Thomas, climbing onto the seat. While he fought the oars, the steward took Hugh, Meggie and I to the stationary bikes, which Hugh tried.

“Is it always so quiet in here?” I asked, and glanced around.

“Well, it isn’t the most popular place on the
Titanic
. Not that I’m here all the time.” He peered at a clock on the wall. “Here, you best be off. Mr McCawley will be back soon.”

“Who’s he?” asked Thomas, who was now pedalling the other stationary bike.

“The gymnasium instructor. He’s in charge.”

Thomas made a strange sound and climbed off the bicycle.

I sucked the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from smiling at his haste to be off the bicycle before Mr McCawley returned.

“What say we take a walk,” he said, making for the door.

I thanked the steward before following. “We’re grateful to you for letting us look around.”

“My pleasure, miss. Enjoy your journey.”

The four of us had just reached the boat-deck when the bugle sounded for luncheon. Not wishing to give Mother more cause for anger, we headed straight to the dining room.

After I’d finished my lunch – cold roast beef, salad and tapioca pudding – Mother insisted I care for Bea. I was determined to do a better job this time and assured Mother of my devoted attention. But that didn’t prevent her from lecturing me.

“No running. Keep her rugged up at all times. No dogs and certainly no steerage passengers.”

I nodded and said, “Yes, Mother,” between each order.

“Relax, Alice. Eve always takes excellent care of Bea,” said Father. He offered Mother his arm and escorted her from the dining room.

Hugh, Meggie and Thomas were talking by the dining room door. I took Bea’s hand and joined them. “So I suppose you three are planning adventures.” I tried to keep the disappointment from my voice.

“Absolutely,” said Thomas, his face smug. “First we’re going to–”

“Actually, Thomas,” said Hugh, “why don’t we stay with Eve and Bea? Do you like quoits, Bea? You, Ted and I could play Thomas, Meggie and Eve.”

Bea clapped her hands. “Yes, please.”

Thomas’s jaw twitched. “I’m going to inspect the Turkish baths on my own then.” He walked away, shoulders rounded.

If Hugh and Meggie thought his behaviour unusual, they didn’t mention it. We spent the afternoon on the promenade playing quoits and hide-and-go-seek. Hugh sprawled across a deckchair for a considerable time, pretending to be ill while Bea nursed him. Teddy was the doctor.

Meggie called out to Bea that she had spotted a steward walking dogs on the poop deck.

“Please, Eve, can I go down and pat that fluffy one?” Bea begged.

“Not today, Bea. Perhaps tomorrow morning when it’s a little warmer than it is now.”

When Thomas arrived, still quiet and sullen, Bea stomped over to join him. They made a perfect grumpy pair.

As the afternoon turned to evening, the temperature continued to drop until the air stung my cheeks.

“You may see an iceberg yet, Bea,” said Thomas, chirpier than he had been all day.

“But not tonight I’ll warrant,” said Father, who’d been sent by Mother to check on us. “By the look of you, Bea, you’ll be retiring straight after dinner.”

The thought of icebergs made me shudder. Images from my dreams returned.

“Eve, are you all right?” Hugh’s eyes were full of concern.

“Yes. Just cold.” How could I admit to him, even though we had grown closer, that the thought of encountering icebergs terrified me.

Thomas’s breath hung for a moment as puffs of cloud before disappearing into the still night. He tugged at his scarf and wondered at the wisdom of staying with Hugh. Perhaps he should have taken Eve’s advice and retired when she and Meggie left, but he wanted to spend time with Hugh without Eve.

Thomas tried to be happy about Eve’s improved mood, but he hated how Hugh was less adventurous when she was around. The moment Eve and Meggie had left, Thomas suggested he and Hugh explore steerage.

“I’ll wager it’s warmer in steerage than it is out here,” said Thomas. His father’s order to stay out of third class rang in his ears, but his determination to do something daring with Hugh was more powerful.

“I swear it’s dropped ten degrees in the last few hours,” said Hugh, rubbing his gloved hands together. “But Thomas, are you sure? You promised your–”

“I’m certain. This way.” Thomas led the way to the stairs.

“What brilliant stars,” said Hugh. “Even brighter than last night.”

Thomas looked up. The sky was as black as the coal he’d seen scattered on the boiler room floor, and the stars were like the diamonds he and his father worked with. “Is that low one a star?” he asked, pointing at a bright light a little above the horizon.

“I believe it is another ship,” said Hugh. “It appears to have stopped. The light hasn’t moved for some time.”

They studied the light or star for a few moments.

“Do you know, I can’t tell what it is,” said Thomas. “Let’s continue to steerage.”

“Before we go, Thomas, have you seen the forecastle deck?”

“Not yet.”

“Meggie and I went up there yesterday,” said Hugh. “All that blue ocean spread before you is spectacular, as though you’re standing at the very tip of the world. Imagine it tonight, with the ship cutting through the black ocean.”

Thomas sucked on his bottom lip for a moment. What he really wanted was to see steerage.

“Why don’t we take a look, before we head to steerage?” said Hugh.

Thomas sighed. “But let’s only stay a minute or two. My toes are blocks of ice.”

Hugh imitated a first-class gentleman they had seen while exploring. “Lead on, good sir.”

Never trouble trouble
Until trouble troubles you
.
Your school chum, Ava Mae Sutton,
Southampton, 8/04/1912

After changing into my nightgown, I brushed my hair and watched Bea sleep. She was curled on her side with Teddy tucked to her chest. How I longed to feel as peaceful as she looked, but every nerve in my body was stretched taut. But why, I did not know. I’d had a wonderful time with Hugh and Meggie and the voyage had been quite smooth. I rolled my shoulders and stretched my neck.

“Do try not to wake her,” said Mother, her voice softer than it had been in the longest time. She lay on her bed, reading.

“What are you reading?” I asked, putting my brush away.

Mother smiled. “A prayer book.”

I couldn’t remember seeing Mother read a prayer book outside of church before. My face must have shown my surprise.

“Like you, Eve, I have been feeling anxious about this journey. At first I thought my unease was about Bea’s health, but …” She closed her eyes. “It’s more than that.”

I stood by the washbasin, waiting, a little stunned at Mother’s willingness to talk. When it became apparent she had no more to say, I cleared my throat. “I understand. It’s the
Titanic
herself that has put me on edge.” Mother’s eyes opened. “The awful, heavy feeling had faded, but tonight …” This time it was me who fell silent.

“It’s a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach.” Mother closed her prayer book and rested her palm upon the red cover. “Eve, I have been quite fierce, particularly with you.”

“Mother, perhaps we are both just worried about Bea.”

She held out the prayer book. “Would you like to borrow this?”

“Thank you.” I leaned forwards and kissed her forehead. “Sleep well.”

I climbed into my bunk and slipped between the sheets, setting the prayer book between my pillow and the wall.

The reading lamp cast strange shadows around the cabin. A weight pressed upon me, making it difficult to breathe. And at that moment I knew with certainty that my anxiety had nothing to do with Bea’s health.

A shudder rippled through me.

Thomas and Hugh scrambled up the stairs to the forecastle deck at the ship’s bow. Two men were leaning against a capstan having a smoke, and a young couple giggled under the crow’s nest. The boys ran past them to the bow.

Hugh staggered and cursed. “This thing just about took my head off,” he said, grasping the forestay. “Surely, it’s not needed here.”

Thomas pointed behind them to above the crow’s nest where the forestays attached to the mast. “That ‘thing’ holds the mast in position.”

“Even so, it’s in a dashed dangerous place.”

They turned back to the bow and stood either side of the where the forestays attached to the ship, staring into the black canvas, dotted with stars. Thomas wiped sweat from his brow. Who would have thought it possible to sweat in such icy weather? He leaned over the rail and stared down at the water. The breeze from the ship’s motion ruffled his hair. “Do you ever wonder, Hugh, what lurks below the surface? What deadly creature waits for us to stumble and tumble into its gaping mouth?”

“Not at all,” said Hugh, blowing into his hands and rubbing them together. “But I do wonder we shouldn’t freeze to death out here.”