Forever's Embrace (Forever In Luck Series Book 2) (21 page)

Linnie
nodded. “They know. Does Jake know you took the job?”

Jules
shook her head. “I don’t think we ever talked about it. I really need a shower.
Can you help me? This room has one of those lift things that can get me into
the bathroom.”

Linnie
sighed. “It’s getting late, how about I drop Nate off at the VA tomorrow
morning, and then come over and help you clean up?”

Jules
nodded. “I would really, really appreciate that, and Linnie, take Jake with you
when you go, please. He needs to get back to normal. I’ve disrupted things
enough already.”

Linnie
shook her head. “I think you’re being hasty. Give it some time.”

“I
disagree,” Jules responded, digging in her heels. “All more time will do is
make it harder to say goodbye.”

*****

Standing
outside Jules hospital room, Jake was beside himself. Jules, in effect, had
just said her goodbye. She’d gotten the promotion, and even though her
prognosis was up in the air, she was moving forward with rehab as a paraplegic.
Her thought process aligned with hoping for the best, planning for the worst.
It was her expressed desire to be stable enough to discharge from the hospital
and be back in Chicago by the week’s end.

He
was absolutely opposed to her leaving, but had no say in the matter. He wanted
her to stay. Even if she wouldn’t accept his help, she’d accept Linnie’s, but
that’d be a little tough to do when the two were separated by hundreds of
miles.

“Jake,”
Linnie said softly, as she put her arm around his waist, giving him a hug,
“give her some time and space.”

“She’s
not thinking, Linnie,” he ground out.

“Yeah,
I don’t know about that,” Linnie said with a pat. “I think the problem is she’s
thinking too much. This is typical behavior for someone like her.”

“What?
What do you mean, typical?” He wanted to argue.

Linnie
rubbed his back some. “Becoming a para or quad isn’t easy for obvious reasons,
but for the individual going through it, the biggest loss is to their
independence, and one of their biggest challenges is accepting the need for
help from others. It’s not uncommon for them to make decisions that give them
maximum independence from those they would otherwise be dependent on.

He
still didn’t think she was using good judgment, and had to squelch his desire
to argue the point. Put yourself in her shoes, he told himself. Okay, so maybe
what Linnie was saying made some sense. He continued to listen.

“This
isn’t true for all spinal cord injury patients, but for many. In essence they
push people away, consciously or subconsciously, by way of the decisions they
make, or through their behavior, attitude, and words, all in an effort to
maintain some form of control. Given how independent and self-sufficient Jules
has had to be all her life, this makes total sense. It’s a coping mechanism for
her.”

Jake
thought about it. “So if we know that, should we listen? Shouldn’t we stay and
help her through this?”

Linnie
shrugged. “We could, but that might make her all the more determined, and if
there’s one thing Jules is, it’s determined. I’m of the opinion that we step
back, and let her figure this out some. She’s not alone, the doctors and nurses
are here. Let her identify what her needs are, and let her come to us when she’s
ready.”

“Linnie,”
Jake said, clearly unhappy with her answer. “You know she won’t ask for help.
She’s too private, too stubborn.” He ran his hand through his hair and down his
neck. “I love her, and miss her already, and I haven’t even left.”

Linnie
smiled and gave him another squeeze. “Give her time, Jake. You mean more to her
than she’s admitting right now. Trust me. Go to Madison, start those classes,
and give her time. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

Jake
looked to Nate, who’d been quietly listening the whole time. “What do you
think?”

Nate
took a big breath and let it out. “I feel your pain. I’ve been there, and know
how hard this is. I get that you don’t want to take a step back and wait, but
that’s probably what she needs most right about now, and when it comes to us
men, and the women we love, it’s all about them. It’ll about kill you, but give
her time. A few of my comrades came back to the states with spinal injuries.
What Linnie’s saying is true to some extent. They were often angry, and pushed
people away in the beginning. When reality set in was when they needed you the
most, needed to know you were there for them. Reality hasn’t set in for her
yet.”

Jake
felt his eyes start to burn, and he had the worst pain he’d ever felt right in
the heart of his chest. Looking to the closed door to her room, he had to
resist the urge to storm back in there and demand she listen to reason. Feeling
completely defeated, he hung his head and prayed for her.

“Excuse
me, can we help you?”

Jake
looked up to see two female staff members standing in front of them.

Linnie
answered. “We’re family to Juliet Blomgren, and we’re trying to decide if we
should stay or leave. She’s not exactly making things easy right now.”

The
older of the two raised her eyebrows slightly, then answered, “I understand
this evening’s been a bit of a trial for her. My name’s Dawn by the way, and
I’m going to be her nurse for the night, and this is Jessica, her nursing
assistant. We were just heading into her room.”

Jake
stepped forward. “I’m Jake, and…she…she wants me to leave, and I…don’t want
to,” he said, choking up, then felt himself become instantly angry. Clenching
his jaw and tightening his fists, he took a deep breath trying to calm himself.

The
nurse nodded. “I understand you’ve been here ever since she’s arrived. Let us
go in and work with her, see if we can tell what’s going on. I know it’ll be
hard, but go home if you can, get some rest, and if you want, call and check in
with us later, see how her night went.”

Jake
looked to the door of her room and felt completely broken. After taking a deep
breath and letting it out, he turned and walked away. He couldn’t help but
think that he was the one that was paralyzed, as he felt completely and utterly
dead inside.

*****

Jules
heard a knock and the door to her room open. Quickly wiping her eyes, she
looked over to see two women walk into her room. Trying her best to smile, she
hiccuped and sniffled reflexively.

Walking
over, the nurse looked upon her warmly. “I see…we have a patient in tears, and
a young man outside, torn and hurting.”

Tears
began pouring down Jules’s face. “He…he…he deserves someone better than this.”

The
nurse raised her chin slightly as she listened, handing Jules a tissue. Then nodding
her head, she asked softly, “And?”

Jules
wiped her eyes. “And what?” she answered, then sniffled.

The
nurse smiled a little as she put a thermometer in Jules’s mouth, then asked,
“And…what do you deserve?”

She
planned that, Jules thought, as she sat reflecting on the question, waiting for
the thermometer to beep. Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, beeeeep.
Finally. Jules answered, “Me, I need to go back to Chicago, to my job.”

The
nurse looked at her as she put her stethoscope in her ears, then responded,
“Really? Is that what you’re deserving of, work? Shhh, I’m going to listen to
your heart.”

She
planned that, again, Jules thought as she took a deep breath, then sat thinking
of how the nurse had rephrased her answer. No, I don’t deserve work, she wanted
to cry out, but it’s all I have.

 
“My name is Dawn by the way,” the nurse
explained as she took the stethoscope from her ears, “and I’m you’re nurse for
the night, and this is Jessica, your nursing assistant.”

Jules
nodded her understanding, “Thank you both for helping me,” she answered,
sniffling again. “I appreciate it.” Then she looked at Dawn and studied her for
a minute, as she went about doing her job. She was a beautiful blonde woman,
with kind eyes and a nice smile. “Do…do you have children?” Jules asked,
feeling herself tear up.

“I
do. Three, two girls and a boy. All grown and out of the house.”

Jules
thought about that, as she watched Dawn check her IV fluids and pump settings,
all the while mulling things over.

As
she continued to stare, Dawn smiled down at her compassionately. “Does that
trouble you?”

Jules
shook her head. “No, I…I was just wondering if my mother had lived, would she
have looked like you.”

Dawn
stopped what she was doing and turned to her. “That you don’t know what your
mother looked like tells me she died when you were very young. Who raised you?”

“Both
my parents died when I was an infant. I was raised by my grandmother. She died
when I was seventeen.”

“Do
you have family to help you through this?”

Jules
didn’t answer the question, she simply looked down and picked at her blanket.

Dawn
continued, using her intelligence and words to help give voice to the situation
at hand. “The three young people you just made leave, maybe?

Jules
began to chew on her lip.

“They’ve
been by your side since you arrived, it would make sense that they’d be your
family.”

Jules
continued to sit quietly as she studied the nurse call button.

“You
needing a mom maybe?”

Bingo!
Jules looked up and began to blink rapidly.

“Ohhhh,
sweetie, come here.” Dawn put her arms around Jules and held her.

Jules’s
worn and tattered spirit soaked up the warmth and compassion being offered her.
It’d been so long since she’d last felt the nurturing of a mother’s love that
she was like a sponge. This was, by far, the best medicine she could be given.

Continuing
to hold her, Dawn leaned back and said, “As your nurse, I can’t tell you what
to do. But we can talk about what you’re thinking, and go over all your
options, so you can make the best decisions for you. You can talk to me about
anything. How about we do that while we get you in the shower? Jessica’s here
to help us, she’s a young girl like you. The three of us can talk about life
and love, and see what we can come up with. How does that sound?”

Jules
nodded as tears ran down her cheeks. “I…I…I’d like that,” she struggled to say.
“Thank you, I’m feeling so confused right now.”

Two
days later, Jules lay in her bed at Sister Kenny Rehab in Minneapolis. After
talking with her manager at work, she’d decided the best place for her to be
was right where she was. Thinking about everything, her mind a blur of thoughts
and emotions, she put the light on for the nurse. Continuing to list and
catalogue all the things she was going to need to change and get help with, she
waited. When the nurse entered the room, she said, “I’m sorry to bother you,
but something’s wrong. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m trying to rest
before therapy and I can’t, because my leg’s being funny. Wait!” She gasped,
her words just registering.

Sitting
up as fast as she could without hurting herself, Jules pulled back the blanket
and looked at the braces on her legs. Snapping her head up to the nurse, she
said with a sudden realization, “It stings! I can feel it. It’s stinging! Along
the back of my calf, and maybe the bottom of my foot, I think….no, I’m pretty
sure of it.”

Pulling
the Velcro straps loose, the nurse helped remove the brace from her left leg.
Jules felt certain she could vaguely feel the nurse’s hands on her burning, tingly
flesh.

“Oh,
that feels so much better,” she responded with a sigh, feeling immediate
relief. Rubbing her leg and foot, Jules manually flexed her foot, then moved it
around rotating her ankle, feeling a twitchy heavy sensation the whole time.
Stretching out her deadened leg with her hands, she pushed it into place.
Focusing on her foot with determination, she willed it to move. Slowly, her big
toe curled, and her foot went down ever so little. Jules couldn’t help it, she
started to bawl.

 
*****

It
was official. Jake was a student again. He prayed the next two years would go
fast. He didn’t want to be here. He was worried about Jules and wanted to be
with her. If she’d gotten her way, she’d be back in Chicago by now. The fact
that he was only two hours away from the windy city proved tempting. He just
needed to find out where she went for rehab, and he’d show up there. Nate would
know. He’d ask Nate, that’s what he’d do. Was he really doing this? He didn’t
want to do this right now.

“For
those of you who are new to Madison Area Technical College, welcome, and for
those of you returning, welcome back. I’m Dr. Michelle Gurtek, and you can call
me Mickie. I’m filling in this semester for Joann Sheehan as she’s on
sabbatical. I’m going to instruct you this semester on the topic of animal
diseases, as each of you pursue your veterinary technology degree. I’ve been
all around this great state of ours, and primarily teach at the University of
Wisconsin Veterinary School. Dairy is my passion, and I love all things dairy.
Well, we may as well get started. When I call your name, please tell me where
you’re from…Alex Aarsgard?