Unfortunately, Charles couldn’t be with them all the time. Sometimes Jade felt as if she was raising Preston as a single parent. Especially when Preston was sick and Charles wasn’t there to help. Being a mom was just as new to her as the world was to Preston. But when Charles was home with Caroline Jade couldn't call him. She was afraid to stir up trouble, even though he’d made her promise to do so in an emergency. Sometimes she found herself scared beyond belief, so afraid she was making a mistake, that she nearly dialed his number, only to break the connection at the last possible moment. She always tried to find a way to deal with the crisis herself.
Until one night when she was so distressed, she’d have sold her soul to the devil. She would never forget that night as long as she lived. She’d put Preston to bed at the usual time. Charles had called earlier to let her know he’d be going home to Long Island. If things went well with the case he was working on, he’d see her for dinner the following night. Jade’s life seemed very much like a light bulb lately. Charles was the on/off switch. When he showed up at the apartment, the switch was on, and when he left, her life dimmed.
Jade soaked in a hot bath and then crawled into bed with a book. She had fallen asleep a short time later only to be awakened by a loud thump, followed a beat later by Preston’s high-pitched scream. Nearly tripping over her slippers, she raced into his bedroom and turned on the light.
Her hands flew to her mouth as her heart plummeted. Her eyes took in everything as fear and panic caused her head to throb. She began to gag on the bile that had risen into her throat. Preston had fallen out of the crib onto the hard wood floor, and blood was seeping from his head.
Ever since she was a young child, Jade couldn’t handle the sight of blood. When she was older, she was able to tolerate seeing her own blood, but she still got queasy at the sight of another person’s. This was different. She had no choice. He was a child—her child—and he needed her help. Only…she hardly knew what to do as she fought the reflex to vomit.
“Oh God, oh God, oh, my poor baby!” she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks as she fell to her knees at his side. His eyes were shut. He lay there so still, blood trickling from his nose, she feared he was no longer breathing. Then his eyes fluttered opened and he began to scream again. “Shh, baby,” she cooed. Afraid to move him, she ran for her phone and hit 911.
His crying turned into a whimper as she shouted like a crazy person at the dispatcher to send help for her baby. Despite the dispatcher’s pleas for her to calm down, how could she? Her baby could be dying as she watched the puddle of blood around his head grow in size. And it was her fault. She was a terrible mother. How was she going to live without Preston? Would the ambulance get there in time? Why was this happening?
Preston was hardly moving now. She looked toward the ceiling. “Lord, I beg you, help my boy. I’ll do anything.” Where the hell was the ambulance? Every minute that passed felt like an hour. Her life was ebbing along with Preston’s. She needed Charles. Oh, why wasn’t he here when she needed him? It was nearly 6 a.m. Charles would be getting ready to go to work. Half out of her mind, Jade called him and got his voice mail. In one long breath, she left a frantic message telling him what had happened. In the next, she told him the ambulance had arrived and that she’d be at the hospital. She knew when he’d heard this message he’d go straight to the hospital.
Jade watched helplessly as the EMT techs checked Preston. She recited every prayer in her head she’d been taught as a child.
“Is…is he gonna be all right?”
“Let’s let the doctors take a look at him,” the man said, not actually answering her.
The ride to the hospital was sheer torment. Out of nowhere, her mother’s hateful words echoed in Jade’s head. Was this punishment for her crossing the line? Was it because she was
uppity?
Or was she a whore for sleeping with a married man? Her mind was a clutter of conflicting thoughts. At last she tossed her mother’s accusations aside, knowing that her love for Charles was true and good and therefore, couldn’t be wrong.
Preston was rushed into the ER and examined by a doctor, while she was forced to fill out paperwork. Her baby could be dying, but the damn paperwork had to be completed!
While she was still filling out the forms, a nurse came over to her. In a tiny, scared voice Jade hardly recognized as her own, she asked, “Will he be okay?”
“He’ll be taking x-rays and undergoing some tests. This will take a while, so why don’t you get a cup of coffee and try to relax?”
Relax
? That word seemed so alien. Jade nodded and the nurse walked away. Jade glanced at the clock on the wall. Nearly seven-fifteen.
Where the hell was Charles
?
She got a cup of coffee from the vending machine and sat down. Her hands were still shaking and she nearly spilled the hot liquid on her lap. Charles was probably on the train coming here now. It wasn’t as if he lived around the corner. She told herself to stop stressing. He’d be here, Jade assured herself.
However, as the hour passed and slowly crept into the next, she knew Charles wasn’t going to come. And there seemed no explanation—at least one she could deal with. She thought he loved Preston…
The doctor came looking for her. Her heart stopped beating.
“He’s going to be okay. There’s a little swelling, so we’re going to keep him here overnight for observation.”
“Thank God!” Jade said, and breathed normally again.
She had to fill out the necessary medical forms to have Preston admitted. Never an end to the paperwork. At least they had insurance. Charles had seen to it. He was listed as Preston’s father. A voice in the back of her head chided,
Yeah, in name only. A real father would be here standing right next to you.
Jade remained the rest of the day and night with Preston. It was the longest day of her life. Somehow, sitting in a chair by Preston’s bed, she’d fallen into a fitful sleep. Her angry thoughts about Charles had transformed into a nasty dream. In the dream, Jade was a bystander watching as Charles listened to her voice mail and made a joke of it to Caroline. He referred to Jade as a child who couldn’t handle anything. Caroline opened her arms and he fell into them, kissing her passionately. She pulled away and asked, “Does that mean we can’t have a threesome?”
In the morning, Preston was still groggy. The doctor came in to check him and found him fit enough to go home that afternoon. Jade was instructed to check him periodically when he slept and make an appointment to have the pediatrician examine him in a few days.
Relieved, Jade turned on her cell phone to call a taxi. She’d forgotten she’d turned the phone off. There were several messages from Charles. Curious as to what excuse he’d given for not showing up at the hospital, she began to listen to them.
“On my way to court. Tried to call you. Will try later.”
He sounded worried in his second message. “Tried you again. Where the hell are you?
Call
me.”
By the third and fourth messages he was practically shouting into the phone. He might have even gone to the apartment looking for them. That certainly didn’t sound like someone who didn’t care. It sounded like someone who didn’t
know
. He seemed to have no idea where she was and kept asking her to call and tell him. Jade began to suspect that somehow Charles had never heard her original voice mail or any of the following ones. And now he must be thinking the worst. Immediately, she keyed in his number, hoping for him to answer. The call went directly to his voice mail, and she told him what had happened to Preston. After disconnecting, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever hear it.
Charles had no idea where Jade had gone and couldn’t understand why she hadn’t gotten back to him. He must have called her a dozen times. So many questions crowded his mind—none, of course, pleasant. Either something terrible had happened to Jade or Preston, or she’d run away again. Like a crazy man, he’d gone to the apartment, but no one was there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. When he saw Jade’s coat and purse gone, along with Preston’s jacket, he didn’t bother to search the place. Instead, he simply closed the door behind him and left.
On the way back to Long Island, he wondered if her mother had suddenly fallen ill. Surely Jade would have left him a message. It was the fact that there had been no messages from Jade that bothered him the most. Hadn’t they worked out their problems after they’d reunited? He felt a sudden stab of indigestion. Perhaps he should do something about his bouts of heartburn. Sometimes the over-the-counter stuff didn’t cut it.
His took his mind off his gut and back on Jade, he sensed he was definitely missing something.
Charles had to be at court early. If this particular case hadn’t been postponed twice already by the other lawyer, he would have asked for a postponement himself and spent the day in search of Jade. There were hospitals to call—and the dreaded morgue. All the bases had to be covered before he approached her family again. He called Jade’s cell and the apartment for the umpteenth time before heading into court. All he got was her voice mail. Upset, he threw the phone into his leather briefcase and placed it on the belt before walking through the metal detector.
He met his client, a burly man with shaggy, dirty-blond hair, outside the courtroom and they went inside. Five minutes later, the other lawyer entered with his client, who also looked like he’d never walked away from a fight. The two men had gotten into a fistfight at a local bar and caused enough damage to bring the owner to court. Each man was being sued for a substantial amount of money. The lawyers for the owner of the bar kept delaying the proceedings for one reason or another. Usually it was because a particular witness couldn’t appear. Charles hated being on this case for several reasons. The most irritating one was that his client was an arrogant prick who knew people who were willing to pay for good legal defense.
The judge was late. Of all days, Charles thought. Twenty minutes later, the court was informed that the judge was on his way. As he waited for the Hon. William H. Markham, Charles watched the clock. With each sweep of the second hand, he wondered if Jade was getting further out of his grasp.
Ten more minutes passed before Charles’s eye caught a flurry of black as the judge rushed into the courtroom, his robe billowing around him. After a short apology, the jury was brought in and court was in session.
Twenty minutes later, the court was recessed. The witness for the bar owner scheduled to appear today was not present. The judge issued a warning that if the witness did not appear the following morning; he intended to dismiss the charges.
Walking outside the court building, Charles turned on his cell phone in the hope that Jade had called. Instead, there was an urgent call from one of the partners, Jay Schiff. An important client had called the firm looking for representation. It appeared that he, Charles, was the best man for the job.
Charles grabbed a couple of dirty water franks from the stand outside the building and wolfed them down. A big case, he thought. Just what he needed now with Jade missing. When it rains, it pours.
No sooner had Charles taken off his coat than Jay Schiff appeared in his door. “Forget about calling the man. He’s in the conference room.”
Charles had wanted to check his voice mail, but it would have to wait. He grabbed a legal pad and followed his associate into the conference room.
At five o’clock, Jade heard the apartment door open and keys drop onto a table. Charles met her coming out of Preston’s room. She’d never seen Charles looking so disheveled. His blond hair hung over one eye, giving him a rakish look. But the dark circles under his eyes and the worry lines on his face said it all as he rushed passed her into his son’s room.
“How is he?” he asked, gently kissing Preston’s head when she appeared at his side.
“Better. He should be his normal self by tomorrow,” Jade replied.
Charles took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then he opened his arms and Jade rushed into them. His words came out in a rush. “I’m so sorry, Jade. I didn’t know—I would have come to the hospital. I would have been there—”
Jade placed a finger on his lips. “I know that now.”
“You must have been out of your mind with—”
“I was. I needed you. We needed you.”
“I never heard the message.”
“Did I key in the wrong number?” Jade asked, adjusting Preston’s blanket.
“I don’t think so. I suspect you called while I was in the shower. Caroline heard the phone ring and erased the message. It probably gave her some perverse pleasure.”
“I must have given you quite a scare when you didn’t know where I was.”
“I didn’t know what to think. Did you leave me again? Were the both of you hurt or worse? I would have started to call the hospitals had you not left that second message.”
“I ordered carpeting for this room,” Jade said. “Maybe if we’d had it covering the hardwood floors, Preston’s fall would have been cushioned.”
“Did you figure out how he fell?”
She shook her head. “The side doesn’t collapse, so I’m thinking maybe he used the mattress like a trampoline.”
Charles’s eyebrows arched. “He’s outgrown the crib. How about a bed with a side rail?”
“Probably a good idea,” Jade said, hugging him. “I’m
so
glad you’re here.”
“I am, too.”
She reached for his hand and they walked out of the room together.
“Have you eaten?” Jade asked.
“No. I came straight from the office.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Not really. I’ve had a bout of indigestion, probably the hot dogs I wolfed down for lunch earlier. Make some coffee and tell me everything the doctor said.”
She brought Charles up to speed on Preston’s condition. Their conversation soon shifted to include their relationship. Jade had had lots of time to think about it while she went through her ordeal with Preston. Now having this discussion with Charles, it was never more evident that they both had trust issues.