Forever Yours (39 page)

When she got back to Alex’s place, the futon was upright and the blankets they’d used were folded neatly. Angel was in the shower. Immediately, her stomach was in knots again. As drunk as he’d been last night, she sort of expected him to be out a lot longer this morning.

Picking at the breakfast sandwich as she stood in the kitchen, thinking about her impending conversation with Angel, Sarah wondered why she’d bothered buying food. She had zero appetite, and she had a feeling Angel’s stomach wouldn’t be feeling the greatest.

The water in the shower had been off for a few minutes, and she heard the door open. Within moments, Angel was in the kitchen behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning into her neck, but said nothing. Sarah took a deep breath and waited.

“I’m sorry if I was an idiot or anything last night. I don’t remember much, but Alex did text me saying I should apologize.”

She shook her head. “No need to. Alex had warned me it probably wasn’t a good idea for me to come with him, knowing how much you’d been drinking.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been that drunk,” he said, cringing. “My head is killing me.”

“You should’ve stayed in bed.” She turned around to face him, touching his temple lightly. “I might have aspirin in my purse.”

Angel shook his head. “I already took two.” He reached for the coffee mug on the counter, taking a step away from her. “Listen, we gotta talk.”

“I know,” she said, surprised at how fast he was getting to it. “I need to explain—”

“I went to have a drink with Bruxa yesterday after I got off the phone with you.”

Sarah’s mouth fell open, and she took a step away from him. “Bruxa?”

“Yeah,” he said, reaching out for her, but she pulled away. “It was stupid. I was mad and I needed a drink. She—”

“The slut who told Valerie’s friend she’d fuck you in a heartbeat, anywhere, anytime, girlfriend or not?”

“I texted Romero,” he said quickly, ignoring her comment and taking another step toward her, but she held up her hand with a murderous glare, so he stopped. “I texted him to come pick me up before we even got to the bar. I had one drink with her before he got there, and then I left. I’m sorry, okay? I wasn’t thinking straight, but I had no intention of doing anything with her. I swear to you.”

Just the thought of knowing Angel had obviously jumped in that bitch’s car since Romero had to go get him had Sarah feeling sick. But she got it. She believed that he wasn’t thinking straight. The hurt in his voice yesterday was something she could
feel
even through the phone. It was why she’d been so scared thinking maybe he’d ask for a break—or more.

With the ugliness in her stomach and wanting this to be as ugly as it got today, Sarah decided she wouldn’t dwell on this but she might as well get this over with now.

“That photo you saw,” she said, and the panic in his face was instantly replaced with a hard stare. “The one of me touching his arm is not what you’re thinking.”

Angel looked away, bringing both hands to his head and began to pace. She knew now this is what had done it. This is what had made him go ape shit yesterday, and she needed to explain.

“I saw the picture, Sarah. You lifted his shirt, touched his fucking—”

“When I was in Havasu,” she said loudly before he got too heated, “I’d asked him about the tattoo on his arm. Two L’s. He said it had something to do with the gang he was in long ago. Yesterday, when he told me the truth about everything, I was stunned. Incredibly so, but I also felt
really
stupid. Stupid for having fallen for everything I was told
so
easily. When I saw the tattoo on his arm again yesterday, it dawned on me that it had nothing to do with a gang. It was suddenly so clear to me, and I had to take a closer look at it because I couldn’t believe it never occurred to me those were his initials. That’s the first thing anyone would think if they saw two letters like that tattooed on anyone but not my gullible ass since, of course, that would mean his last name wasn’t Ortiz. I just . . .” She shook her head, looking away and feeling mad at herself again. “I believed everything he told me so easily. But I know now why I did. I
wanted
to. If I didn’t, then I’d be admitting that maybe it wasn’t true. I don’t even know why I wanted it so bad. The idea of having more family just grew on me so fast, and when Omar disappeared, I was determined that Leonardo wouldn’t.”

She took a cautious step forward, afraid he’d reject her coming close as she had done to him just moments ago. He didn’t, so she got close enough to reach for his hand and took it. He dropped her hand then wrapped his arms around her neck so fast it startled her, but she brought her arms around him and hugged him back with just as much emotion as he did her.

This was over. She didn’t want to fight anymore—dwell on the fact that she didn’t have a brother and her father hadn’t really come looking for her—or even spend another minute speculating what Angel’s real intentions were when he decided to have a drink with Bruxa in that moment when he’d been so consumed with rage and hurt feelings. All that mattered was that he hadn’t done so and that Sarah could now fully appreciate what she did have and had for years. Something so many people in the world didn’t. She had Angel and all his love for her.

“I’m sorry this turned out the way it did,” he said, kissing the side of her head. “I really am. No matter who Leo turned out to be or why he really wanted to get close to you, I truly am sorry this didn’t turn out like you’d hoped.” He pulled back to look at her, moving some of the hair away from her face. “Even when he was weirding me the fuck out, not once did I wish for things to end this way. If it had turned out that he was your brother, regardless of how weird he was, I would’ve dealt with it. You know that, right? The last thing I’d ever want is to see you hurt.”

She smiled, seeing the genuine empathy in his eyes, which moments ago began to look as enraged as he sounded yesterday.

“I’m fine about it now,” she assured him. “To be honest, I don’t even know what I was expecting? That he and Omar and I would be taking Christmas portraits together or something ridiculous? I don’t know. He talked about me having other uncles and aunts and cousins, and it excited me. I guess I just thought after it being just my mom and me my whole life more would be a good change.”

Angel nodded, but that look of empathy she’d seen in his eyes just a second ago was suddenly gone, and that familiar intensity was back. “I get it, okay? And I didn’t lie when I said I
would’ve
dealt with Leo had he actually been your brother. But let me ask you something.” He stopped and chewed his bottom lip almost as if he wanted to be sure about what he was about to ask. “You’re not thinking of staying in touch with Leo are you?”

Immediately, she shook her head. “No,” she said and saw the instant relief in his eyes and felt him exhale.

“Good,” he said, but that intensity was still there. “I don’t want this to be an issue in the future, so I want this to be clear now, Sarah. I’ll deal with Syd.” The intensity softened for a fleeting moment as the corner of his lip tugged. “Well, we’ll play that one by ear. With him, I’m at least willing to try. But Leo . . .” His eyes went hard again. “That’s not even up for discussion. If I so much as hear you’re responding to his texts or emails—”

“I won’t,” she said, touching his chest because the furrow of his brows was getting deeper with every word he spoke and she didn’t want him to get worked up for no reason. “I’ll block him if I have to. I’ve already set most of my online stuff to private.” She shrugged.” I did after Leonardo told me he’d looked through all my photos and watched most of my videos several times before I’d even contacted him. It was kind of creepy to know any stranger could be watching them. But after yesterday”—she leaned her face against his chest and listened to the accelerated pace of his heart—“nothing would be worth going through that again.”

This was no time to start a debate, so she wouldn’t, but this was completely different from her relationship with Sydney. Even Sydney had warned her yesterday, when she told him that her final goodbye with Leo ended with him telling her not to be a stranger and drop him a line if she ever needed to talk, that doing so would be disastrous. Now Angel was leaving no doubt that it would be.

Angel winced, touching his temple with a frown, and at first, Sarah thought maybe he didn’t believe her. Then she realized he was wincing in pain. “You’re head still hurting bad?” He nodded, holding both hands at either temple. “You shouldn’t have gotten up so early.”

“I couldn’t sleep, not knowing we had to talk.”

“Well, we talked enough for now,” she said, pulling him by the hand toward the sofa, but he tugged back.

“Alex will be gone all day,” he said. “I think he’ll be okay with us using his bed as long as we clean up after.” She followed behind him, holding his hand. “And wash the sheets.”

“No way,” she gasped, tugging at his hand.

He turned to look at her as he continued walking into Alex’s room, and for the first time that day his dimples made an appearance. But it wasn’t for long because he instantly frowned as if smiling alone made his head hurt.

“We’ll just lie down for a while, but I really do need to release some of this pent-up stress.” He smiled as he lifted the comforter on Alex’s bed.

Sarah kicked off her shoes and slid in after him but didn’t lie down because a picture on a corkboard Alex had in his sparsely furnished bedroom caught her eye. He had only a few other things on the board, but this one was right smack in the middle. It was a photo of him and Valerie at the beach, and Valerie was wearing his letterman’s jacket. She still had it in her possession.

“Was that back in high school?”

Angel glanced at it with a squint. “Is that Valerie?”

Sarah tilted her head, giving him a scolding glare. “Yes, that’s her.”

Smirking, Angel made an exaggerated pained expression and pulled her down with him. “It’s this headache,” he said, kissing her softly. “I think it’s affecting my vision.”

Sarah rolled her eyes but wrapped her arms around him, glad that they were past the uncomfortable subject of Leonardo, but she still wanted to add one final thing in hopes that this could somehow hammer the lid shut on this subject for good.

“My dad’s dying,” she said, making Angel freeze and stare at her. “At least that’s what Leonardo told me. He said Joseph told him he has advanced staged prostate cancer and he doesn’t want it treated so he won’t be around for long.”

“I’m sorry,” Angel said, and she could tell he didn’t know how to else to respond to that.

“He’s the man who fathered me, Angel. That doesn’t make him my dad, and while I feel for anyone who’s sick, whether I know them or not, I’m not sad about this. For years I wasn’t even sure if he was still alive.” She shrugged. “Anyway, Leonardo thought it might be something I’d want to know. That maybe I’d want to try and meet him before he’s gone or even know when he passes so I could attend the services. Maybe then I could meet some of the other relatives. But I don’t want to. I don’t even have the slightest desire to meet him before he dies.”

“Are you sure?” Angel asked.

She nodded, tracing with her fingers over the necklace around his neck she’d given him so long ago. He so rarely ever took off. “After thinking about it all day yesterday, I decided I don’t need to go looking for relatives who’ve known about me since I was born and never once came looking for me. He did get out five years ago and apparently made no effort to come looking for me. Why would I want to meet a man who couldn’t care less about me either way? I have everyone I need in my life now, and I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Well, if you change your mind—”

“I won’t,” she said with a smile. “I was a fool to think I needed more.”

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing her hand. “Forever and always.”

“Forever and always,” she whispered back.

~*~

Angel

Since Angel’s gut had been right on the nose about Leo, he felt certain it was about Sydney as well, only this time he was determined to not let it come up and bite him in the ass when he least expected it. This time he’d be ready. He kept saying he’d have to have a man to man with him eventually, and now that they’d gotten past the whole nightmare of Sarah’s fake brother, Angel wanted his issues with her “like-a-brother” squared away as well.

After Sarah mentioned one time too many that she’d been up late talking to Syd about problems he was dealing with, with his ex and his new life in Los Angeles, Angel decided enough was enough. He could deal with knowing Sarah was being there for her good friend like she’d explained he’d so often been there for her—as long as he didn’t have to worry about there being other motives behind Sydney’s annoyingly frequent calls.

He and Sarah had been on the phone late in the evening when, once again, Syd called on the other line. Not wanting to be too pissy about it, Angel hung up but told her to text him when she was off the phone. Over forty minutes later, he finally got the text from her saying she was off the phone and to say goodnight.

Angel picked up the phone and dialed. No more dicking around. He was getting this over with tonight. Sydney answered after the first ring.