Forever We Fall: Broken #4 (The Broken Series) (43 page)

And so we remained in Thirteenth Street, choosing to raise our young family in the house our lives had fallen apart and been pieced back together more times than we cared to think about. Our home had ghosts – many of them – but it was exactly that. Home. Our home.

The years passed by in a crazed, rushed, mind-blowing blur. Our four children transformed from high-spirited kids into raucous teenagers, some more rebellious than others – namely Cam – and Kyle and I adapted together. We learned to cope, learned to adjust and grow together. We still fought all the time. Angrily and vocally. But we always made up at the end of the day. That was a rule Kyle had reinforced after he'd spent three nights on the 'spine crusher' when he'd suggested during our twelfth wedding anniversary dinner that it was time to have another baby. I didn't take the suggestion too well and after a painfully embarrassing screaming match in the bar of the hotel – and three weeks of sleeping with sweatpants on – Kyle didn’t suggest it again. I did approve of his new rule. It was one of his best plans to date…Whenever we had a fight, or were upset with one another, we made up or stayed up. No going to bed angry and
no
sleeping apart. I liked that plan best. I always knew he was a clever man…

Kyle received only one letter from Rachel Grayson after his visit, and it came last June on the eighteenth anniversary of Camryn Frey's death. It was an apology. It was too late. The phone call he received later that day from the prison, confirming Rachel Grayson hanged herself in her cell that morning, came as no surprise. The news of her death brought with it no relief, no sadness, and truly no feeling at all. We had chosen a long time ago to focus only on the here and now…

"Are you crying," Kyle mumbled against my lips, stirring me from my reverie. "Why are you crying, Lee?"

"I'm not…c-crying," I blubbered, feeling mortified. "I'm happy." Sniffling, I whispered, "These are happy tears."

Pulling back slowly, his eyes studied my face carefully. Blowing out a breath, he shook his head and smiled fondly. Placing me on my feet, he pulled me into a hug. "You're such a crier."

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked as I poked him in the belly. "
I'm such a crier?
" Walking over the door I called out, "Cameron, Colton, Logan and Hope, come down for your dinner."'

"Not hungry," all four voiced back in chorus.

"You cry all the time," Kyle laughed as he grabbed some plates from the press and started setting the table. "When I kiss you, when I hug you, when I fu…"

"Don’t say it," I warned him before shouting out, "Uncle Derek's on the way with pizza."

"…make
love
to you," Kyle added smoothly as the sound of feet stamping on the staircase gave me the warning I needed to step back from the door. Seconds later all three of my boys barged into the kitchen with hopeful expressions of their faces.

"Help your father set the table," I told the boys as I passed Cam a bottle of soda from the fridge. "Kyle, I may cry sometimes, but that doesn’t make me a…"

"You're a crier, Mom," all three of my boys laughed.

"I rest my case," Kyle said with a smirk as he folded his arms over his chest.

The front door flew open and the sound of Derek's voice calling out, "Honey, I'm home," reverberated through the house.

"I'm in here, cupcake," Kyle shot back as he unfolded his arms and grinned the biggest shit-eating grin when his oldest friend stepped through the doorway of our kitchen, laden down with pizza boxes.

"Uncle D," the boys cheered in unison as they stalked towards Derek.

"There's a creepy old man out front, staking out the house," Derek mumbled as he balanced the stack of pizza boxes under his chin.

"Short, fat, gray haired with glasses?" Kyle asked as he took the pizza boxes out of Derek's arms and placed them on the table. Derek nodded and Kyle roared, "Goddammit Colt, I told you to phone that girl."

"I did," Colt protested his innocence. "But Cam didn’t," he added with a snicker. "And Mr. Sullivan's got one hell of a wife."

"You fucking rat," Cam glowered before he swung around to face me. "Mom, I swear I didn’t…"

"I don't want to hear it, Cam," I moaned as I covered my face and backed out of the room. "Your father can deal with you. With all of you."

"The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, does it?" I heard Derek chuckle.

"You'd better hope your
apple
fell into another goddamn orchard," Kyle growled. "Or we're gonna have some real problems, douchebag."

Closing out the kitchen door in dismay, I turned around and sighed. "Jordan," I said in a soft tone when I saw Derek's son standing stiffly at the front door. The small boy with the big green eyes, who had spent countless summers playing in a paddling pool out back with my kids, and camping out in the living room, was no more. Jordan Porter had grown into handsome young man.

His raven black curls were cut short, the gray sweater he wore emphasized his sun kissed tan, and his eyes…oh god, he seemed to hold the weight of the world in those green depths. "I'm so glad you could come," I told him as I stepped forward to give him a hug. "How's your mom?"

"Thanks for having me, Mrs. Carter," he mumbled with a formality I'd spent years trying to break down but to no avail. "And mom's doing better," he added softly, stepping out of my hug. "Uncle Danny's keeping an eye on her until she gets back on her feet."

"That's good." It didn't escape my attention Jordan had flinched when I put my arms around him. "I hope things get better for her. For
all
of you."

"Yeah." Jordan nodded stiffly as he rubbed his side. "Me too."

Worry settled in the pit of my stomach.

This wasn’t the first time I'd seen him flinch away from contact.

"Jordan," I said in a coaxing tone. "Are you…is everything okay?"

"I…" Jordan paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. Clenching his eyes shut, he grabbed the back of his neck and exhaled heavily. "Is she here?" he croaked, his voice laced with pain. Opening his eyes, he looked down at me, his expression full of anguish and secrets. "Is she okay?"

"She's upstairs." Kyle's voice came from behind me and I jumped.

Wrapping an arm around my waist, Kyle pulled me into his side, never taking his eyes off Jordan. "You can go up," Kyle added and my mouth fell open in shock.

I watched as Jordan pulled himself up to his full height, masking his surprise quickly with a curt nod. "Thanks, Mr. Carter," he acknowledged quietly before heading for the staircase.

"Don't hurt her," Kyle called after him. "And I won't hurt you. You got it?"

"Never planned on it," he said with quiet conviction in his tone.

When Jordan rounded the staircase and was out of sight, Kyle let out a deep sigh. "Tell me I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life here, Princess," he said softly.

"You know you're not," I told him. "You're just accepting the fact that our children are almost adults, and we're starting the next phase of parenthood."

"The next phase," he chuckled as he pulled me into his arms. "And what's that?"

"Prom." I smiled. "College, Weddings…Grandchildren."

"Grandchildren," Kyle croaked out. "Can't wait…"

"We'll survive," I said with a smile as I sighed in appreciation for the man holding me in his arms, for surviving almost implausible odds, for never giving up hope, for keeping his promises, for fighting to stay alive and for winning.

THE END

Playlist for the broken series

Lee

Natalie Merchant:
My Skin

Kate Nash:
Nicest Thing

Florence and the machine:
Never let me go

Carrie Underwood:
Blown away

Rudimental:
Free

Colbie Calliat:
Never told you

Tracy Chapman:
Fast Car
 

Beyoncé:
I was here
 

Beyoncé:
Still in love (Kissing you)

Ella Henderson:
Hold on we're going home-Love me again

Taylor Swift:
Enchanted

Ellie Goulding:
Dead in the water

The Band Perry:
If I Die Young

No Doubt:
Underneath It All

Demi Lovato:
Skyscraper

David Guetta and Sia:
Titanium

Nelly Furtado:
Try

Avril Lavigne:
Slipped away

Halestorm ft. James Michael:
Private parts

Gabrielle Aplin:
The power of love

Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding:
I need your love

A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera:
Say Something

Kyle

The Script:
You won't feel a thing

The Pogues:
A rainy night in Soho

Ed Sheeran:
Small Bump

The Blizzards:
Fantasy

Green Day:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Velvet Revolver:
Fall To Pieces

Ed Sheeran: I See Fire

Kings of Leon:
Closer

Aslan:
Fall On Me

Staind:
Outside

Tinchy Stryder ft. N-Dubz:
Number one

Placebo:
Running up that hill

U2:
With or without you
 

McFly:
The heart never lies

Staind:
It's been awhile

Sister Hazel:
Your winter

Eminem:
Lose yourself

Ed Sheeran:
Give Me Love

Finley Quaye:
Dice

Foster the People:
Pumped up kicks

Crazy Town:
Butterfly

Radiohead:
Creep

Oasis: Stand By Me

The Clash:
Should I Stay or Should I Go

Eminem & Rihanna:
Love the way you lie 1&2

Derek

Kodaline:
High Hopes

Jack Johnson:
Sitting, waiting, wishing

The Offspring:
Original Prankster

The Script:
Nothing

Guns N Roses:
Sweet Child O' Mine

Luke Bryan:
Country Girl

James Arthur:
I'm sexy and I know it

Lea Michele:
Cannonball

The Script:
Breakeven

Ed Sheeran:
Drunk

Gabrielle:
Rise

Tyler Hilton:
Missing You

Matchbox 20:
I'm not crazy

Nine Inch Nails:
Hurt

The Script:
Six degrees of separation

Acknowledgments

When I wrote
Break My Fall
I had no intentions of writing a follow up. No ideas, plans or clue of how their story would go. I remember spending night after sleepless night staring at my computer and willing the words to come out of me. Thankfully they did and
Fall To Pieces
and
Fall On Me
were born. Looking back now I can safely say that without the support and encouragement from my girls on Facebook it still would be an unfinished project.

Kyle and Lee's story kept going deeper and darker and while I'm sad their story has come to an end, I'm excited about my other projects. I am absolutely shattered from writing these books–in a good way–and can't thank you enough for reading them. I never thought I could write one book, let alone four books in nine months. It's been a crazy journey, one with plenty tears and smiles–and bald patches.

Rhiannon, I owe you a huge thank you for all your kindness, help and friendship.

Lorrie, Alycia, Barbara, Dania, Lisa, Corrine, Jacky Quirke, Cindy, Deborah, Nikki, and all of the girls on Facebook and Twitter. Girls, you are the best bunch of readers/friends a person could ask for. Thank you so much for standing by me – these books are for you.

To my husband and children. Thank you for giving me the love I need to write these stories.

To my father. Dad, thanks for answering every one of my frantic phone calls over the past few months. Your patience–
with me
–is limitless. To my mother for providing me with an unlimited amount of reading material throughout my childhood, and for giving me the tools to pursue my dreams in adulthood.  To Sinead for your support and the calming effect you have on me. To Aunty for being so incredibly loyal and dependable. John and Julie, Denis and Danny. I love you guys. Thanks for putting up with my craziness throughout our childhood. For pushing me. For believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. For listening to my endless drivel and for seeing what no one else could see. No sister ever had better siblings than you.

And the biggest thanks of all is owed to the wonderful people who have read my stories.

This series is for you, because of you, and dedicated to you.

I am both humbled and blessed by your kindness.

Thank you.