Forever This Time (19 page)

Chapter 19

Forty minutes later, Josie stormed into Elf Central, determined to find Ethan and give him a piece of her mind. She flew up the stairs and banged into the office, only to find him lounged in his desk chair, feet on the desk as he talked on the phone.

She glared at him from the doorway, but he just smiled benignly and pointed at the phone. He delivered a full two-minute string of
uh-huh
s and
hm
s and
you don't say
s while Josie paced and muttered, waiting for him to finish.

Finally she stomped over to the window, and when she did, she could see the readout on Ethan's phone from behind him. There was no one
on
the damn phone.

“You miserable, conniving—” She put her finger down to hang up the phone, and he whipped around, barely containing his laughter.

“How was the show?”

Josie put her hands on her hips. “I can't believe you sent a kid on a fake hardware store errand just so I'd have to go on stage.”

“I really needed those light bulbs.” Ethan shrugged his shoulders playfully and put his palms up. “You said you wanted to work, right? That was work. I'm really sorry. Couldn't be helped.”

“You know how much I hate that stage.”

He gave her a pointed look that she read perfectly.
You hate everything here, Josie,
it said. Then he folded his hands behind his head and leaned back. “Did you survive the show?”

“I did. No thanks to you. They made me do a solo. And made timpani jokes.” She spun his chair toward her. “How exactly do they know about the timpani?”

Ethan cleared his throat carefully. “There's a … a video.”

Josie felt her eyes pop. “There's a
video
? Are you
kidding
me?”

“We use it at the beginning of the summer as an icebreaker during training.”

“You use a video of
me
falling into a big freaking
drum
as an ice—That is cold, Ethan. Cold.”

“But funny.”

“That was probably the most embarrassing moment of my entire teenage life.”

“Which is why it makes such great viewing.” Ethan smiled innocently.

“I—” Josie's phone beeped and Mom's number popped up. She pointed a warning finger at Ethan. “We are not done yet.”

He did a fake shiver, then put his feet down, focusing on his computer as she took the call.

“Hi, Mom. What's up?”

“Josie! Oh thank God you're there! Your father! He's waking up!”

“He's waking up? Really?” Josie started tossing things in the backpack she'd pulled out of her bedroom closet this morning. “I'll be right there!”

She clicked the phone shut, then looked at Ethan, her mouth open in shock. “He's—awake.”

“That's great!”

“I need to—I have to—”

“Go, Josie. Go see him.”

She finished stuffing things in her backpack, hands shaky, then she sprinted out the door and down the stairs. Speed was key here. If she slowed down, she'd have to think about the hundred or so questions circling her brain. How would he be? What would she say to him? What if—what if he didn't want her there?

She got to the bottom of the stairs and pressed the crash bar to head outside, fumbling automatically for her keys. Then she stopped, swearing silently as she bounced her forehead softly on the door.

Dammit.
She had nothing but a dead Jeep and a bicycle … and the hospital was ten miles away.

“Need a ride?”

Josie squeezed her eyes shut as Ethan came down the stairs, jingling his keys. She turned. “You'd let me borrow your truck?”

“Heck, no.” He pushed the door open and motioned her through. “You were a terrible driver
before
you moved to the city. I can't afford to replace my truck. I'll drive you.”

“You don't have to do this.” She fell into step beside him as they crossed the courtyard.

“I know.” He shrugged. “I want to.”

Twenty minutes later, they hurried down the hospital hallway toward the waiting room, Josie struggling to keep up with his long strides.

“Ethan, seriously. You should go back to the park.”

“If the park collapses because I'm gone for an hour, we have bigger problems than I want to know about right now.”

He opened the waiting room door for her. “I know you're big and strong and don't need anyone … but maybe you will.”

She looked at his eyes, and he was doing that sincere-adorable thing that used to bring her to her proverbial knees, and all she could manage was a soft
thank you
.

“Hands.” Ida, the hospital-volunteer-slash-waiting-room-guard, pointed at the sink, without looking up.

“Good afternoon, Ida. It's lovely to see you, too.” Josie flipped on the faucet and squirted soap into her palms, then toweled off as Ethan washed his hands. “Is my mom in with my dad right now?”

“Yes. You can't go in. One visitor at a time.”

“Thank you. I know the rule. You tell me every time I come.”

Josie found a seat against the wall, and Ethan settled beside her. He leaned over to whisper, “Is she always so pleasant?”

“Every single day, yes. The friendly pink smock is just a disguise.”

“I can't believe they still only let in one person at a time. It's a step-down unit, isn't it?”

“It's Ida's unit.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Ethan leaned over again. “Are you nervous?”

Josie rubbed her hands together. How had he known? “A little, yeah.”

“Liar.”

“Okay, a lot.”

Ethan reached out a hand toward her knee, but pulled it back like he'd thought better of it.

She puffed out a couple of nervous breaths. “What if he's paralyzed? What if he can't talk?”
What if seeing me sends him straight into another stroke?

“One step at a time. Don't worry before you have to.”

“I know, I know. But I can't help it. He's been down for so long.”

“You never know. Did Ike tell you the story about his sister?”

“Yeah, he did.” Josie leaned forward, elbows on her knees, hands clenched under her chin. “Let's hope Dad has the same miraculous recovery.”

Ethan reached his hand across the back of her chair, then touched her back tentatively. Before she could even register its warmth, though, he pulled it back into his lap.

He cleared his throat. “Do you want a coffee or something?”

“I think if I have any more today, I'm going to jump out of my own skin.” Josie sat back up, but couldn't seem to figure out what to do with her hands.

“Well, if you hadn't started at six o'clock this morning…”

“Do not get me started, mister. I'm not going to be able to move tomorrow, after tossing all that ice around.”

He laughed softly. “It's a lot of ice.”

“Shut up.”

Ida looked up. “Ms. Kendrew? The doctor's in the conference room with your mother. They'd like you to come in.”

Josie's stomach jumped. “Doctor? Oh. Wow.” She fumbled for her backpack. “Okay. This will be okay. O-kay.”

She stood up, shaky on her feet, and immediately Ethan was beside her, a steadying hand on her elbow.

“You all right?” His eyes were serious now, all amusement gone.

Josie took a deep breath. “I'm fine. It's—fine. I'll be fine.” She adjusted her backpack. “You should go back to the park. This could take—a while. I think. I don't know. I guess I really don't know.”

God, she hated how she felt right now—like she wanted to grab his hand and pull him down the hallway with her.

“I'll be right here, Jos.”

She looked up at him, and as much as his words sent rays of warmth right through her, she also felt a keen sense of danger.

She didn't want him to wait.

No. That wasn't right.

She didn't
want
to want him to wait.

*   *   *

“Mrs. Kendrew, I realize this is all a little scary, but I want to assure you it's normal.” The neurologist took off his glasses and set them on the tiny round table in the family conference room half an hour later. Josie had popped into Dad's room quickly on her way down the hallway, and she was still shaking. Dad wasn't … Dad.

“But he looks so confused. I don't think he even knew me.” Mom's eyes teared up again. “He didn't know Josie, either.”

Josie spun her coffee cup slowly on the table, holding it with both hands. Ethan had just brought it in and left, probably to do Ida-penance if he'd sneaked by her. He'd made it perfectly—two sugars, three creams—without even asking her. In this little universe where everything seemed topsy-turvy, the small gesture gave her a comfort she hadn't expected.

Danger.

She shook her head, focusing on the neurologist.

“Again, that's not unusual, and it's also not necessarily indicative of the way things will play out. His brain's had quite a traumatic injury, so it's going to take some time to see what his function level is.”

Mom nodded, but swallowed hard. Josie stopped spinning her coffee and spoke for the first time. “Can you give us any idea at all what we might be looking at here? Just so we can try to be prepared?”

He nodded slowly. “Well, with a right cerebral hemorrhage like his, we'll generally see most of the impact happening on his left side. He may also have some trouble speaking, especially at first, and might have trouble understanding you.”

He handed Mom a small pile of papers and brochures. “It's a lot to take in, I know. We've talked about it over the past couple of days, and now we'll really be able to start figuring out where he's at so we can make plans to get him better.”

He tapped the brochures. “There's a lot of good information in these resources, so when you have time, take a read-through.”

Josie watched Mom carefully. So far she'd been holding it together, but it looked like her string was about to snap.

Josie took a deep breath. “Dr. Edelman, what's the worst-case scenario here?”

He smiled gently. “I really hate to focus on the worst case, only because there's so much we can't tell yet about how your dad will recover.”

“Well.” She tapped nervously on the table. “I think we're sort of
expect-the-worst
kind of people. That way, if the worst doesn't happen, it's kind of a bonus.”

Dr. Edelman looked from one of them to the other, not answering.

“We need to know. Please.”

“Okay.” He paused. “Well, worst-case scenario is significant paralysis, speech impairment, memory loss, incontinence, seizures … but again, we just don't know yet. And sometimes, many of the early impacts can be mitigated with therapies. We just don't know. Your dad could end up experiencing all of those things, or none. Only time will tell.”

“So even if he's paralyzed, he could heal?”

Dr. Edelman tipped his head carefully. “To a point. Maybe.”

“But we don't know what that point might be.” Josie went back to spinning her cup.

“Right.”

“And we have no idea
when
we'll know.”

“Right again. Unfortunately, this isn't an exact science.”

Josie nodded slowly. “So what's next?”

“Well, we'll keep him here overnight and assess things as best we can over the next twenty-four hours, and then we'll start looking into rehab. Once he's stabilized, he'll be better off outside the hospital, at a place where they're staffed to provide rehabilitative care. There are two excellent facilities within a half hour of here. Either would be fine, depending on whether they have space available. I'll make sure the nurse gives you pamphlets before you leave.” He put on his glasses and placed both hands on the edge of the table, making it obvious he was done. “Anything else I can answer for you right now?”

Josie shook her head. “Thank you, no.”

He patted her shoulder on his way out the door. “Hang in there. He's a strong, healthy guy. I have high hopes for his recovery.”

After he closed the door, Josie looked at Mom, whose tears were now falling down her face faster than her tissue could capture them.

As she watched her, an old fear slammed into Josie.

If anything was going to push Mom off the wagon, it was going to be this.

 

Chapter 20

“Ethan! You're here!” Emmy reached out her scrawny little arms for a hug, crawling out from under the blanket on her hospital bed. Ethan knew Josie's meeting with the neurologist would take some time, so he'd come down to the pediatric floor to check on Emmy while he waited.

Ethan pulled her into a bear hug. “I missed you, squirt! How are you feeling?”

“Better much.”

“You're talking backward. You
must
be feeling better.”

“Yup. Might get to come back to Avery's House tomorrow!”

Ethan touched her nose with his index finger as he set her back on the bed. “Well, that's the best news I've heard all day.” He tucked the blanket around her waist as she settled back on the pillows. “I can't wait to have you back.”

“Who's doing my jobs while I'm here?”

Ethan sat heavily in the chair beside the bed, shaking his head. “No one's up to the task. It's a terrible state of affairs. I have
no
idea how many times that Ferris wheel's been ridden in the past few days.”

“I'd better get back there, then.”

“Absolutely. And Ben has a little surprise for you.”

Her blue eyes widened. “What kind of surprise?”

“Can't tell you or it wouldn't be a surprise.”

“Who's having a surprise?” Steph came into the room carrying a green Popsicle. “Hey, Ethan.”