FOREVER MINE (20 page)

Charlie pulls away from Brody.  “I can’t do this.  I can’t stand here and pretend that everything is ok, that what happened in those pictures isn’t real.”  She walks to her car and gets in behind the wheel.  “I’ll call you.  Please leave me alone for a little while.”

“Charlie, please, let’s
go
inside and talk.  You shouldn’t be alone.  We need to figure out what is going on.”

“Good-bye, Brody.”

I drive out of the driveway leaving him standing there calling my name.  I can’t go back now.  Michael has made it clear how far he is willing to go.  The bullet wasn’t just a threat.  Michael was sending
me
a message; a promise that harm will come to Brody.  I drive faster.  I need this done before I lose my nerve.

I have my gun.  I stop at the local hardware store and grab some rope, tape, and zip ties.  I don’t have a true plan, but I have an idea what I’m going to do.  I leave the store, get in my car, and drive to my old apartment.  Well, I guess it’s still mine for 3 more days.

I park the car and walk to my front door.  I go in and climb the three flights of stairs.  I open the front door and walk inside.  I place everything from the hardware store on the couch.  The movers will be here in the morning to pick up anything that wouldn’t fit in Brody’s truck.

I feel a little sick when I think about him, and what I’m about to do.  I stuff the tape and zip ties in one of the cushions.   My gun is in my lap.  I will be ready when he comes for me.  I sit and think about how to draw him out.  He always seems one step ahead.  He always knows where I am and what I’m doing.  I hope now is no different.  I think of a plan and over the next hour think about how to perfect it.

I can’t take it anymore; I stand up and walk around the small space.  I took all the curtains off the windows earlier.  It’s getting dark, so I’m sure anyone can see directly into the living room.  I put the gun in the back of my shorts.  I spin in a circle with my arms out, very ‘I know what you did last summer-
ish
’ and yell.

“Here I am, Mike, come and get me!!”  I am so mad.  I had this great plan and he is going to ruin it.  He won’t show if he isn’t ready, if it isn’t part of his plan.

“You want to play a game Mike, well, game on!!”  I use his nick name from high school, I hate it, and he knows I hate it.  Will he put it together that I hate him, too?

After another half hour I take a deep breath and give up I call Brody.  “Hey, I’m at my apartment.”

“Oh, God, Charlie, I am so glad you called.  I was so worried.  Do you want me to come get you?”

“I have my car.  I don’t know if I want to leave yet.”

“Is it because you don’t want to come
here
or because you are sad about having to move?”

“I’m not sad.”  I answer without saying what I am feeling.

“Oh.  Well I won’t bother you.  I know you need time.  I can give you time, just don’t shut me out.  Please.”

“Ok.  Please come get me.  I want to come home.” 
my
voice cracks, I failed at my plan to keep him safe.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can.”  I hear the relief in his voice and I am ashamed for making him worry.

“Ok.”  I whisper, not trusting my voice.

“Charlie, I love you.”

“I love you, too, Brody. 
Very much.”
  I lose the battle; once again to the tears that are treating to spill from my eyes.

We hang up and I wait.  Finally I stop crying.  I go to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face.  I think I hear the front door open and close. 

“Brody?
  That was fast.”   I walk out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, and into the living room.  The place is empty. I start to panic.  I left the door unlocked so Michael could just walk into a trap.  I’m beginning to think that’s what I just did.

I spin around to look behind me. 
Nothing.
  I know I heard the door.  It wasn’t quiet; it was a definite open and close.  I tip toe into the kitchen the space is empty without the table.  I turn to walk back toward the bedroom; when I’m thrown onto the counter top, my stomach against the cold granite.  My arm is wrenched behind my back and a hand covers my mouth.  My gun is gone.  I don’t even remember it being taken. 

Both hands are zip tied together behind my back while I struggle.  I can smell his cologne and feel his breath as he leans over me.  He ducked tapes my mouth.  I have been screaming in my throat, the sound never making it out of my mouth.  He pushes himself into my ass.  I can feel that he is aroused.  I stop screaming.  I am scared into shocked silence. 

He whispers in my ear.  “I came to get you Charlie; just like you wanted.”  He is laughing.  I know I’m going to die.

I am not going down without a fight.  I shake myself out of my stupor.  I try to kick him, he catches my foot and back hands me across the face.  It hurt, bad.  I am a tall girl; I use that height now to my advantage and throw all of my weight and height at Michael.  He staggers backward, I try to make a run for it he grabs, turns me to face him, and smiles at me. 

“Very nice, Charlie.
  I’m glad you are putting up a fight.  It makes it so much better.  It gets me hard.”

This is the first time I have looked directly at him.  His eyes are crazy.  The pretty color they used to be is muddied.  He has scratches covering his face from last week.  They are faint but seeing them helps remind me to fight.  I try to wiggle free of his grasp.  He trips me and we stumble to the ground.  He has all of his weight on top of me, and starts to dry hump me, “The things we are going to do, Charlie.  I will make you forget all about Brody.  He will be a distant memory.  Well, he will be after I kill him.”  He watches her face and gives one big final thrust on top of her.

He kisses my cheek and down my neck.  He licks the tendon in my neck that is sticking out from straining; trying to get away from his touch.  He gently bits the spot where my neck and shoulder meet.  I swallow the bile that rises in my mouth.  He stops kissing me for a second and I feel a sting where he bites me; then a rush of heat.  He raises his head and watches my eyes.

“You should feel a little sleepy.  When you wake up everything will be the way it should have been all this time.”

His voice is far away; I think I’ve been drugged.  “I won’t kill you, Charlie.  Not as long as you play your part and do what is asked of you.”  He rubs my face and tucks a stray hair behind my ear.  “I love you.  I always have.  You are going to be forever mine.”  He glides his hands over my body and palms my breasts, runs his hand down past my stomach, and stops at my center.  He grabs my sex and moans.  “I have so many plans for us.”  That is the last thing I hear before I passes out.

I am sitting here waiting for Charlie to call back.  I can’t believe she left.  I stand and start to pace.  I feel like I will go crazy if I don’t hear from her.  She needs space; I know that, it’s so hard to give it to her.

It has been an hour since Patrick left.  I give him a call.  “Hey, you wanted me to call if she wasn’t back in an hour.  Well she isn’t back and it’s been an hour.”

“Ok. I will drive around for a bit and try to locate her.”

“Thanks Patrick.  I don’t know how to repay you for your kindness.  I am really glad Charlie has a friend in you.”

“So do you Brody.  I have grown quit fond of both of you.  I want to help; there is nothing you need to do for me.  Just keep our girl happy.”

I feel my chest constrict, “You got it.  Thank you.”

“Well, I will let you know what I find.  Let me know if you do hear from her.”

We get off the phone.  I go upstairs and lie in bed.  In the bed I have slept in with Charlie since she has been here.  How easy it was to fall into a comfortable routine with her; how right it is.  I put my face in her pillow, and inhale the familiar smell of strawberries, lavender, and the light smell of vanilla.  I close my eyes but I know sleep won’t come.  I watch the back of my eye lids; for the movie of memories that plays out, for just me.

“Charlie, come on, you can’t out drink me.”  I laugh, knowing that the more I tell her she can’t do something the harder she will try.  We are at a party celebrating her 21
^st
birthday.  All her friends are here, Michael went back to school earlier in the week.  He wanted to take some summer class so he can finish his major a little sooner, and get to medical school.

“I can out drink you.”  She is slurring her words a little.  She has a nice flush going on in her cheeks.  She started drinking with Steph sometime around midnight last night.  She needs to get 21 shots in before the end of the night; and needs to do it without alcohol poisoning.  She was on number 20 when we started; I think she just might do it.

“Fine.”
 I smile my best cocky smile, and take another shot. I have just started drinking so I am nowhere near drunk, not that she would notice. 

She takes a shot of her own, and laughs.  Sam is home from school for the occasion.  She picks this moment to walk over she slides her hands across the back my shoulders, around to my chest, and hangs around my neck from behind.  She whispers in my ear about getting Charlie drunk so I can take advantage of her.  I look at her like she’s crazy.  Why would I want to do that?  Then she grabs Charlie’s hand and drags her away.

“Keep track of how many shots we’ve had, I’m going to dance!!”  She yells back at me as she is willingly drug away.

I think back to what Sam said, I thought I was always careful about how I responded to Charlie around other people, I guess not.  Although, Sam is not just somebody; she knows us better than we know ourselves.  I laugh at the overly observant flake.

I stand back and watch the girls dance.  Sam is absolutely beautiful.  Her long blonde hair and blue eyes sparkle, especially when she is having fun.  My attention cannot be removed from Charlie though; she is breathtaking.  It has been so long since he has seen her have this much fun.  Watching her sing the words to her favorite songs, and move her hips is hypnotic.

I always watch when we are all out together; the girls are very friendly when they drink.  They don’t mean to be forward, but that is what they are.  So here I sit watching.  Charlie crooks her finger at me to come to her.  I shake my head, no.  She sticks her lip out and pouts at me.  I know I’m a goner.

She shimmies over and drags me out to dance.  She grabs me around my neck and we move to the music.  Her hands move all over me as we dance.  She turns her back and grinds her ass into me while holding the back of my head so I can’t back away.  Back away?  Oh, hell no.  I grab her hips and follow her lead.  She turns and looks at me, grabs a fist full of shirt, and brings me as close to her as I can get.  She holds me by my shirt; showing me and everyone in the crowd that has gathered to watch us, who is in charge.

She brings her face close to mine and rubs her nose along my cheek with her eyes closed, she whispers in my ear, “Brody, I … I think… I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Oh, Fuck.”

I take her hand and lead her outside.  The fresh air does little good.  She finds some bushes and starts to heave.  “Sorry.”

I am holding her hair out of her face.  It’s a lot shorter than it ever has been.  She tried one of those angled haircuts, where it’s short in the back and longer on the sides, it’s cute, but I love when her hair is long. 

“Don’t be, I should never have challenged you to out drink me.  You always lose.”  I smile at her and she laughs.

We decided to leave when she stops puking.  I drove her to her mom’s house.  “Well, I can see someone is
not
enjoying being 21.”  Her mom laughs.

“
Agh
, I hate it, but I did have my first blow job.”  She smiles like she is so proud of herself.

Her mom pales, “Um honey, I don’t think you really want to talk about that right now.  Not with me.” 

I laugh so hard tears are coming from my eyes.  “It’s a shot.”

“Oh, thank God.  I thought we were going to have to have the safe sex talk again.  You think this is funny?  Brody I will get my spoon, don’t think that I won’t.  You’re not too old to be spooned.”

“Awe.
How sweet I would love to be spooned by you.  I didn’t think you were into younger guys, Mrs. J.”
 
I wink and wiggle my eyebrows at her.

“Brody!
  That’s not what I meant and you know it.”  She is a bright shade of red that resembles a shade her daughter turns. We laugh and notice Charlie falls over on the chair; passed out cold.

“I got this.”  I say to her.  I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.

“Be careful.”

“Yep.”
  I smack her ass.

“
Oww
.”
  She mumbles.

“Wow, she is out.  How many shots did you feed her?”   

“It wasn’t just me.  It’s her birthday. 
Her 21
^st
birthday.
  She had to do 21 shots.”  I laugh at the look on her face.

“WHAT!”

“Relax, she took her time, I think she started at like midnight last night, with Sam, and she took her last one with me like 2 hours ago.  She paced herself.  I must say she was pretty smashed though when we were dancing.”

“Dancing?  You danced?  You hate dancing.”

“Yeah I do.”

Her face softens and she smiles, her eyes crinkle at the edges, “But you love Charlie.”

“She is getting heavy; I’ll put her in bed.”  I run up the stairs, avoiding
that
conversation, I open Charlie’s bedroom door and throw her on the bed.

“Hey, stop that.  It hurts.”

“Sorry.  I want you to wake up a little.  You need to put
pj’s
on.”

“They are in my drawer. Just get a tank top and shorts out.”

I rifle through her drawers and find a cute set from when we went to Hersey Park, Pa.  The shirt is pink and brown and says free kisses.  The shorts are pink and brown with Hershey’s kisses all over them.

“Ok. I got them, now you need to get dressed.”

She sits up and sways a little.  She takes off her shirt and throws it at me.  She is wearing the sexiest gray lace bra I’ve ever seen.  She giggles, “Brody, close your mouth.”  She stands up and puts the shirt over her head, does something under her shirt and throws her bra at my face.  It smells like vanilla. 
And lavender.
  OH MY GOD.   She takes off her jean skirt, and is standing in front of me in a thong that matches her gray bra.  I thought the bra was sexy, holy fuck was I wrong.  The underwear set was made for sex.  She shimmies her shorts up her long, lean, tan legs. Then she slides her thong off from under the shorts.  I think I came in my pants.

“I don’t ware underwear to bed.  You gotta let her breathe.”  She laughs like it’s the most common thing in the world to discuss her lady business with me.  I realize how far in the ‘friend zone’ I am. At least she didn’t throw her thong at me.  I may have attacked her if she did.

She lies down on the bed and pats the spot next to her.  “Come to bed.”

“I think I should go.”

She sits up, “Why?”

“Well you’re pretty wasted and I don’t think
its
right for me to sleep with you anymore.  You know, Mike might not like it.”

“Please, Brody.  Spend the night with me.  I miss you.  I just want you to be here with me.”

I sigh; I run my hands through my hair and pull on the front.  I have no will power with her.

She giggles, “I like when you’re all broody and you pull on your hair like that.  It’s sexy.”  She whispers the sexy part. 
“Broody, Brody!”
  She taunts me with the nick name.

I take off my shirt and shoes and tell her, “Move over and stop it with the Broody Brody.” 

“Not until you take off your shorts.  They are stiff and uncomfortable.”

Stiff.  I
cannot
take my shorts off right now, or she will see how stiff I am.  “Um, I really want them on, so deal.”  I climb in next to her and lie down.  She snuggles into me with her head on my chest.  We have slept like this almost every night for years.  

“Good night Brody, I love you” Then she passes out.

I hold her tightly in my arms not knowing when I will see or hold her again.  I rub her hair, down her arm, and across her back.  I trace the freckles on her skin, making patterns.  I brush my lips over hers in feather light kisses.  She stirs and snuggles into me closer.

I don’t sleep that night; I watch her sleep and memorize her in this moment.  I hate that Mike keeps her from me.  I need her.  She starts to talk in her sleep.  She is twitching and trying to yell. She pushes away from me, “D-d-don’t touch me.  I’m sorry.”

“Charlie, wake up, you’re having a bad dream.  Char...” I gently shake her.

She wakes up, swatting me, “Michael, S-s-stop!!”

“Ok. Ok. Charlie, it’s me, it’s Brody, come on focus on my voice.”

She throws herself into me and cries.  I hug her and try to comfort her.  She falls back to sleep.  The next morning she doesn’t remember anything from the night before.  She remembers dancing.  I can tell she is thinking about how she manhandled me by the way she is blushing.  I tell her how she dressed in front of me and she hides her face.  I laugh, but I can’t stop thinking about her matching underwear.  She tells me she has to get ready to meet Michael in awhile.

I leave and head to the mall.  I stop at Victoria’s secret and buy a gray, matching two piece bra and thong set, in the size I think is right and head over to Jessica’s.

Jessica is a girl I have sex with sometimes.  She wants more; I don’t have it in me for a relationship.  I knock on her door.

“She answers wearing a bath robe.  Her hair is still wet from her shower. 
“Brody?
  What a surprise.  What do you want?”

“I want to see what you’re wearing under that bath robe.”  He smiles at her and quirks and eyebrow.