Forever Distraction (Distraction #3) (10 page)

I fished to the bottom and found the flash drive.
“Jared, I’m not going to turn him in, if that’s what you are asking.”

He laughed
at me, and it was a reminder of why I shouldn’t be talking with him; he never took me seriously. “Kat, you need to…rock the boat. It’s time for you to step out of the shadows and cause your own set of waves. My hope was that I would be standing by your side when you did it. I saw the things he did to you and am fucking mad as hell. I’m mad at him and at myself, because I know you see me the same way you see him. I fucked up with you. I wish I would have done everything differently. You have no idea how you took my breath away the day I first saw you at your apartment. I had actually searched for you, paid people to find you, and there you were right in fucking front of me. I played it cool for months, bided my time waiting for you to be ready. It was the most fucking patient I have ever been in my life—”

“Jared,” I
cut him short, interrupting what I assumed was him patting himself on the back, “I am not going to reminisce about lost loves.”

“Right
, we were in love, Katarina; you just don’t remember it like I do.” As soon as he said that, I panicked and hung up. I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to remove his words from my mind. My heart clenched so tightly I was having a hard time breathing.
What if he was right? What if I did remember the story wrong? What if everything that I thought happened to me never actually happened, and I imagined all of it?
My mind spun with the thought of all my insecurities about the past, the pain that was inflicted on me, the fucking lies I told, and I suddenly couldn’t see the truth through all the lies. I grabbed my chest as I gasped for air. My world was crumbling, falling apart until only doubt remained.

My cell
phone rang and I just stared at it, scared Jared knew something about me I didn’t remember, scared he was right. It stopped and then started ringing again; by the third time, Smith was standing over my desk and plucking the phone from my hand, and I sat stone still as he answered it. His deep, agitated voice made me cringe, and when he got no response, he slipped my phone into the pocket of his black suit jacket.

“I guess they hung up.” Smith flashed me a
smirk and I stuck my tongue out. He returned back to the couch, eating and talking with the other men, and I went back to the file in my hand. Bruce Covington, ‘the god of surgery’, killing people?
What?
I glanced over the names, trying and failing to recognize any of them until I landed on Jacy Ronald. My heart skipped a beat thinking about how the loss Jason had to deal with wasn’t because of my grandfather…it was my father. The deaths were all surgery-related, and all at about the same time at night. I knew my father liked to drink, and my guess was that he liked to drink and then play God. I thumbed through the other papers, my name written on most of them. It looked like a legal binding agreement, something I would have my attorney look over. I stuffed the file back in my drawer, took the flash drive, and shoved it in a secure pocket in my purse.

Tommy showed up at seven
; he asked about the lunch he sent over and insisted on taking me to dinner. I allowed it—
illusion, I know
. He retrieved my phone from Smith, showing me how to work it like I was an idiot. My brother had left hours before; Smith told me we had a long conversation about possibilities for the charity, but I couldn’t recall any of the conversation. My mind had been back on the information in the file Jared gave me.
What was I missing?

Dinner was the same
. I thought about work and occasionally laughed when I thought Tommy said something funny, but I was mentally checked out. Tommy took me to his place after dinner and finished the night with an attempted kiss, but I dodged it. I tried to remind him we were just friends, but he was bound and determined to change my mind
,
making me wonder,
Why? What did he want from a girl he knew was damaged?
Tommy had his own money, and I witness women falling all over him
.
He didn’t need me…
or does he?

I slept in the spare bedroom again
, and all I could think about was Grandfather. My next day ran the same way, but I was finding it easier to put off Tommy, smiling when he called me pretty thing and twirling when he wanted to check my clothes out.
Why not? He was little Tommy, a harmless fly. This made him feel important and loved. What could be wrong with that?

At work
, more plans were made regarding sites for the charity project, and after dinner, I asked to return to the beach house. Tommy was careful how he answered and catered to my wishes. He asked me if he could drive me, which again, I knew was illusion, but one I happily clung to. He let me believe
I
had control of the decisions, when in reality, my life was the exact opposite. He drove me to the beach house and we walked down to the ocean to sit side-by-side.

“I am leaving the day after tomorrow. I have to check on my grandfather’s foundations.” 
I spoke clearly, because I wanted to make sure he heard every word. He didn’t face me, which made what I was going to say much easier.

“I am never going to marry you
, Tommy. I think you’re funny and smart, I always have but I can’t be what you want.”  I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head, still gazing at him.

“
I’ll grow on you, pretty thing; it’ll be fun.” He turned and his eyes burned into mine. His smile was wickedly naughty. “Is it too late to tell you I don’t hate you anymore?”

I laughed
; what he was saying was awkwardly sweet, which made it funny. He reached to run his thumb across my teeth and lips. “You already told me,” I whispered back.

“No
, I told you about the time when I was fifteen. I’m talking about seven years ago, when you left me.”

“Oh.” My voice drifted off, but I continued to stare at him.
His young brown eyes were filled with hope and it made me instantly sad.

“I have a costume party Tuesday night. Who do you want to go as?”
he asked me with a sincere grin, knowing I wouldn’t deny him that simple request, and he was right.

“I’ll be a princess, any princess you choose.”

His hand reached out again and he tucked some windblown hair behind my ear. His boyish smile never faded, and suddenly, he burst into laughter. The idea of me being a princess wasn’t
that
funny. “It’s just…it’s just,” he was laughing so hard he lost his ability to speak clearly, but I wasn’t upset he viewed me differently, so I waited patiently for him to finish, “you never liked fairytales before.”

“It will be the last time.
” I tore my heavy gaze away from him, because I didn’t want him to see right through me; I didn’t want him to see my heart. “I just want to feel like a princess for one more day.” I heard the word
princess
leave his lips more in disbelief and I had to turn my head. I hated how he said it, or maybe it was just because it was
him
saying it. When I faced him again, it was tense between us. There was more he wanted to say; I could feel it, but I was done. I wanted the night to be over.

I was the first to get up. He took my hand and walked me back to the house
. We strolled together through the quiet house. When we reached the front door, he spun around to face me, and before I could say anything, he kissed me. I pulled back immediately, mainly out of shock. I didn’t feel anything, just the wetness that surrounded my mouth. I gazed up into his kind brown eyes, eyes that seemed now like he would never hurt me, and he leaned down and kissed me again. My lips didn’t move and I left my eyes wide open, watching as moments passed with his closed eyes and hot mouth staying buried in my face. I was not aware if I kissed him back, because my body was still completely numb. He pulled back and grinned, a self-satisfied grin, like he knew something I wasn’t privy to. Then, he turned and left without a word. I moved to follow him, but Smith Three grabbed my elbow.

“Stay inside
, Ms. Covington,” he said as he glared me down, trying to control me.
Fuck you!
I wanted to say. I moved past the door’s threshold anyway, just to prove who was in charge.

“Tommy,” I yelled. My voice was small compared to the heavy wind. He turned and smiled
, and then made his way back over to me. As he scaled the steps, I thought about the reasons why I couldn’t be with him. Number one: my parents, and the agreement between them and his father.
To hell with that
. Number two: Tommy was there the night Jared attacked me, and when Jared kicked him out, he didn’t fight back. He didn’t even pretend to fight; I wasn’t important enough to him to take a few punches. He scurried away like a spineless coward, and I was troubled by that. Number three: his father was Dr. Holtin, creepy Dr. Holtin, who put me through years of unpleasant moments, which I tried really hard to forget about.

I stopped counting my reasons when he was face
-to-face with me. I wanted to trust him, but from experience, I knew he was after something.
What?
  “Tommy,” I inhaled, not knowing what to say next, “is your father a pediatrician?”

He was shocked by my questioning
and shook his head side-to-side, contemplating something. “No, Katarina, you know this. He was a surgeon like your parents. Now, he has a dozen hospitals.” He reached out in a comforting way, like he was calming me, indulging me, and I hated it.

“He was mine
, though,” I informed him. Tommy moved his head slowly side-to-side again, signaling I was mistaken and crazy. “He’s seen me naked.” His eyes popped open and then narrowed at me. “More than once…more than ten times,” he withdrew his hands from me, and I continued, “more than fifty times.” He started to back away, as if I was diseased now.

“Stop!”
he yelled, but like the kissing, I was immune. “I know what you’re doing. You’re scared of this.” He waved his hand between us. “You’re scared, because our parents were right. We are made for each other. You’re acting crazy, making up things like you did when you were young. You’re lying for attention. It’s not going to work with me, Katarina; you can’t manipulate me this way.”

I stood in front of him blank
ly, years of people not hearing me or not wanting to hear me, all of it bubbling to the surface like a volcano about to erupt. I knew he had more ill words to say, so I waited, held strong, and kept all my features in check with my years of training. Finally, he glanced down, and his long hair fell in his face as he spoke. “I know what this is really about…” he paused, sucking in his top lip to chewing on it before he yelled at me, “Jason Riggs…
Princess,
that’s what he called you, right?”

My mouth fell open
, and it wasn’t just out of shock; I was completely dumbfounded. He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, and then he looked down his nose at me,
fucking looked down his nose
and growled, “I’ll give you until Tuesday, then no more moping, no more staying in bed, and no more self-pity.” I closed my mouth and bit my tongue. I felt tears spring to the surface, but I fought every one, pushing them down with fury. “I did some checking. I watch you, Kat, all the time. Just know that, and I always have.”

My eyes were locked into his
. I couldn’t break his spell on me. It was like his hands were gripped tightly around my head to keep me focused on him. “I also know you can’t say no to me. So,” he ran a light finger over my cheek, collecting all of the hair that fell in my mouth from the constant wind, “you can tell me you’re not going to marry me all the way down the aisle, but you will never say no. We’re going to be great together; can’t you see that? Your name and your Grandfather’s combined with mine, we are going to be a powerful couple, and our children…they are going to be the next generation of perfection.”

His words
made time stand still.
What happened to my boyish Tommy, my equal, the harmless fly? Who freaking says, ‘I watch you all the time’?
His father does; that’s who
. I found my voice out of pure desperation. He was right; I could never say no, not in this world, where there were so many demons, because saying no demanded me to stand my ground, made me permanently fixed. I was the sneak-out-and-leave girl, not the stand-up-for-what-I-believed-in type, but he always promised me one thing, and that one thing made me break my frustrated silence.

“Children, Tommy
? We always said no children. You agreed children would only get hurt. No, I will never have children with you.” He glanced away, his body stiff and hands fisted at his sides.

“I’ll see you Tuesday night
,” he snapped, never looking at me; instead, he glared down his nose at Smith Three. “Keep both eyes on her,” he ordered, and then he turned and ran down the steps, returning to his red Porsche. I think he was whistling.
Freaking creepy stalker!

I pushed past Smith
Three  and made my way upstairs loathing everyone…more than loathing, fucking
hating
every breathing person in my life. He stalked me, had an investigation on me, and without asking me, had found out about Jason. Then, he was an utter asshole about it, and to top off, all he wanted was my last name and the last name of my grandfather…and freaking children.
To hell with that
. I stripped, practically ripping my clothes into shreds, and stepped into the hot water of the shower, scrubbing my face where he kissed me.