Forever Blue (6 page)

     “Really? Aw. Well, Happy Birthday,” our annoyingly perky waitress said with a smile.

      I wish I could say we behaved like adults. Despite the prickle of unease still left inside me, nothing felt more familiar or comforting than spending the evening giggling like the two kids we were. It
was as if we were the only two people in the whole restaurant, like we were living in the most perfect dream. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it, but something at that point in time changed between us. I wasn’t looking at my best friend anymore. This boy made my heart skip a beat; this boy gave me butterflies in my stomach.
Those gentle
bluish-green
eyes took my breath away. I could have racked my brain all night for the precise way to register my new found feelings. One thing was certain: he was my one. Most people go on their whole lives and never find their one, but I found mine. I found him when I was twelve-years-old.

    
The dinner crowd thinned like a parting fog
as the evening started winding down.  Our waitress surprised me at the last minute with an ice cream sundae. My rapidly beating heart nearly stopped at the sight of it. It looked to be constructed by a food stylist in one of those fancy food magazines. It had two scoops of ice cream, chocolate and vanilla, topped with a perfectly formed generous dollop of whipped cream, walnuts, and a bright red cherry on top. The concoction was doused with hot fudge. The first thing I noticed was the lit candle staked in the middle.

    
I shut my eyes and wished hard. Only one thing came to mind:
I wished with all my heart that I could go back in time and relive the entire evening over again.

***

    
The rest of the night was a blur, like I was in some sort of dream world. Mom arrived to pick us up, and I couldn’t stop myself from feeling as though I was about to float away. By all accounts, it was the most unbelievable night of my young life. I have no recollection of anything Mom said or asked during the ride home. At one point, I desperately wanted to reach out and hold Carter’s hand, but I stopped myself. I waited for Carter to make the first move, but as much as I hoped, no such thing happened.

    
My perfect evening came to an unexpected crash landing. The moment I feared in the recesses of my mind happened when we pulled up in our driveway. Loitering around the front of my house was the one and only Mary Storm. One look at her face, and I knew I needed to prepare myself for the worst.

     “What the hell is going on here?” she hissed.

     “I just picked the kids up from the restaurant. I thought Carter told you we’d be back around nine-thirty,” Mom explained.

      “Restaurant?” She shook her head in apparent confusion.

     “Mom, can we go home and talk about this?” Carter asked with panic in his tone.

    
“Be quiet, young man! I’m not talking to you,” Mary snapped.

    
“Did you forget that Carter was taking Alexa out for her birthday tonight?”

    
Mary shot me a murderous glare and spat, “Taking her out? I knew about no such thing.”

     Mom’s eyes went strangely blank and lifeless. “Well, Carter and Alexa both told me you said it would be all
right for me to drive them to the restaurant for their date tonight.”

     I gritted my teeth,
and resisted
temptation to respond. I was just going to have to stand there and take the heat, as much as I loathed doing so.

    
“Date?” Mary’s laugh was cold. “Are you insane? What business do fourteen-year-olds have going on any kind of date?”

    
“Mom, it’s my fault. I told her you said it was all
right,” Carter interjected.

    
“One more word from you and you’ll never see the light of day.” Mary’s anger boiled up out of nowhere. “Just shut your trap.”

    
Mom offered an apologetic smile and
responded, “I’m sorry. When the kids told me you gave them permission, I just assumed—”

    
“You assumed what?” Carter’s mother indulged in an insolent shrug. “That I would agree to go along with something so totally inappropriate? What kind of a mother are you, letting your daughter go out all alone with a boy at her age? Now I know where that girl of yours gets her disturbing behavior from.”

    
With no reason to remain respectful, I lashed out, “Hey! Don’t you talk to my mother like that.”

    
Mom waved her hand in a gesture of dismal. “Alexa, please—just go inside.” She turned away from me and faced
Mary with a look of defeat. “Look, I’m truly sorry if I caused you any trouble. This was all a matter of misunderstanding.”

    
“Misunderstanding my ass.”
When Mary grabbed Carter by the arm,
her manicured fingernails dug
deep into his flesh. He didn’t flinch or make a sound, just stared back at me with a terrible agony in his eyes.

    
“Let me make something clear,” Mary announced. “From this day forward, I don’t want to see your lying daughter hanging around my son. Do you hear me? It’s over. If I see her within even ten feet of Carter, I’ll contact my lawyers, and they’ll take care of this little problem.”

    
“Mom, you can’t tell me who I can and can’t be friends with,” Carter retorted.

“You’ve dug yourself in deep, boy. One more peep from you and your dreams of stardom are over.” Mary pulled Carter up by his shirt collar and hauled him across the street like a lifeless body.

    
I ran inside the house before Mom caught up with me. My entire body sagged with exhaustion. I had no energy to climb the stairs to my room. I sucked in air, the precursor to a sob, and plopped myself down on a chair at the kitchen table. Mom entered the kitchen and my heart pounded against my ribs. Her eyes were dark with anguish, her face as pale as milk.

     “Mom, I—”

     She raised her hand, signaling me to stop. “I don’t want to hear it, Alexa.”

     I looked down into my lap, mortified. “I’m just—I’m sorry.”

     “I don’t even know what to say to you right now.” She looked away and out the kitchen window. Her
eyes
were
wide with shock. “I have no words. I’m completely speechless.”

     “I didn’t mean to…I just—”

     “You lied to me, Alexa,” she said, cutting me off.

     “There was no other way. I knew if I told you the truth, you would have said no.”

  
 
  A hint of red returned to her porcelain white face. “So instead you make me out to be some sort of fool in front of that horrible woman? Do you even realize how embarrassing that was?”

     “Yes, and I’m sorry. I really didn’t think she would find out.”

     “Well, you thought wrong. How am I supposed to trust you now?”

     “Mom, it was just a stupid call on our part.”

     “Go to your room. We’ll deal with this when your father comes home.”

***

     There was
no sign of Carter for the remainder of the weekend. I was sure I wouldn’t be seeing him at school either.
My heart twisted in fear
at the thought of our friendship being over.

     At school, I sat alone on a hill that overlooked the lower field. My gaze was captivated by the chain-link fence and the freeway directly behind it. It hummed and pulsed with the sounds of heavy traffic that helped drone out my negative thoughts.

     “Alexa—”

    
I turned around and fell into a euphoric state. I missed his face, his voice, so much that my heart nearly jumped out of my chest at the sight of him. 

 
“Hey, Carter.”

 
“Want to walk?” he asked.

    
I sensed the worst wasn’t over
by the anguish left over in his eyes.
It pierced my heart like a dagger of ice. We made our way down the hill to the desolate lower field. My mouth itched to say something, but Carter spoke first.

    
“I’m really sorry about the other night.”

    
I shivered, remembering how that perfect night turned into a perfect nightmare. “It wasn’t just your fault. It was mine too. We shouldn’t have lied to my mom.”

   
“If I had known my mom was going to be home early—”

    
“It was still the best birthday present ever.”

    
Carter reached for my hand,
and entwined
his fingers with mine. My heart raced at his warmth. His hand fit perfectly into mine, like it was made for me. I pressed my cheek against his broad shoulder, wanting to bury myself in him. Something was happening between us—something wonderful and electrifying. We walked down the field hand in hand, not uttering a single word until Carter broke the silence.

    
“I’m not going to let my mom keep us apart. I just won’t.” His voice sounded thick, like he was on the verge of tears.

    
“I
don’t know what we can do to—to change anything.”

    
“I’ll think of something.”

    
“Let’s not talk about her anymore.”

   
“Good idea,” he said. “Oh, I forgot to tell you about my audition on Sunday.”

    
I perked up and replied, “How did it go?”

   
“The record producer asked if he could meet with me next week. He only gave about five kids callbacks, and I was one of ‘em.”

    
“This could be what you’ve been waiting for. I really hope this one is your big break.”

***

    
For a whole week, I eagerly waited for Carter to give me the news about his second meeting with the record producer. I finally caught up with him at his locker
on my way to class one morning.

    
“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you,” I said, hugging my textbooks close to my chest in heavy anticipation.

    
“Well, you found me.” Carter’s eyes were unreadable. The only emotion I sensed at all was his unhappiness. 

    
“What’s wrong?”  I asked.

    
He jammed something into his locker and slammed the door in the process. “Nothing. Just stuff.”

    
Stung by his uncharacteristic simmering anger (although I could see where it came from if he’d inherited it), I asked, “So I’m guessing the meeting with the record producer didn’t go well?”

   
“Actually—he wants to sign me on.” His tone was curt and dismissive. This was odd behavior considering the good news. “I found out last night.”

    
“I knew it. Congratulations.” I dropped my books and wrapped my arms around him. The heat of his dejectedness radiated off his skin like a flame, scalding my bliss. “Aren’t you happy? This is what you’ve always wanted, right?”

    
He avoided my stare, refusing to look me in the eye. “Carter, what’s wrong with you?”

    
“It’s not what you think.”

    
“Why?” I was completely thrown for a loop. “What do you mean?”

   
“My manager wants me to relocate,” he said flatly.

    
This was the most unwelcome news. “To where?”

    
“Florida.”

    
I stepped back, feeling dizzy and off balance. “Clear to Florida? So what are you going to do?”

    
“My mom made the decision in less than thirty seconds. We’re moving to Florida as soon as school lets out for the summer.”

    
“But that’s only two weeks away,” I replied, nearly choking on the tears that
had
caught in the back of my throat.

    
“I know. They aren’t giving me much time.”

    
My emotions erupted like a dam that had just burst open. Every student in the hallway watched me dissolve into tears. I couldn’t help but feel humiliated for behaving this way in front of
him.
I took off down the corridor
in a state of panic.

    
I avoided everyone by hiding out in the school baseball dugout
during lunch.
My mind was still sluggish, trying to come to terms with the idea of Carter moving all the way to Florida. I was happy for him, I really was, but so miserable for myself.
A
whirlwind of thoughts spun through my mind
as I stared out into the wide empty field.
It was wondering how I would survive on my own
that
tortured me. Carter was all I had known
for the last two years and without him in my world, I simply couldn’t exist. 

    
I dodged Carter that whole day, rationalizing my behavior by believing I just needed some time to think. But I knew Carter all too well and he managed to find me.
My heart ached like an abscessed tooth
at the first glimpse of him walking toward me.

    
“Are you okay?” Carter asked. He walked through the dugout and took a seat beside me on the bench.

    
For the first time, it actually pained me to look at him. I merely turned my head away and asked, “Do I look okay?”

    
“I really didn’t plan on this happening. You know that, right?” He sat close, his warm sweet breath tickling my ear. “I was shocked when I found out too.”

    
“I knew this would happen for you one day. I just didn’t think you would need to move across the country to do it.”

    
Carter wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and pulled me into his embrace.
“It won’t be that bad. I just won’t be living across the street from you anymore.”

    
A growing tension besieged me—the reality that we were just two kids with our whole lives ahead of us. For the last two years, I took enormous pride in believing I would go through life with Carter by my side. Now those dreams had shattered like broken glass. I had no control over the situation. Carter was slipping through my fingers like sand. Soon enough, I’d be grasping nothing more than dead air. A warm tear spilled over my lashes and rolled down my cheek, and
I tried to hide it by turning my face away from him.
There was no
point
in shying away
after he saw me bawl like a baby earlier that day.

    
“This kills me,” he finally said, clutching my arm.

    
“You can’t leave.” Tears spurted down my face like a fountain. “You’re everything to me.”

    
Carter rested his damp cheek against mine and said, “I have something for you.” He dug out a small piece of paper from his jean pocket and handed it to me.

    
“What’s this?” I asked.

    
“It’s my uncle’s address in Florida. We’ll be staying with him for a while. You can write to me there—as much as you want.”