Forever Blue (30 page)

    
I wasn't sure how long I drifted off to sleep, but the sound of the front door closing awoke me.

    
“Hey,” Scotty said with little emotion.

    
I got up and gave him a long, slow kiss
with an increasing sense of urgency.

    
“What's that for?” he asked.

    
“To say I’m sorry. I hate you being upset with me.”

    
“So you want to make up, huh?” Scotty showed a hint of a smile, the first I'd seen all day.
  
“Go on—” He gave me a long searching look that meant he was ready for some action. 

    
Our lovemaking that night was raw and straight to the point. We were both too lazy to go to the bedroom. We did the deed right on the floor beside the couch like a couple of horny teenagers.

    
“Do you remember our second date?” I asked, as we lay side by side. “My mother was so excited for me. She loved you, Scotty.

    
“She was a sweet woman. I just wish I could have gotten to know her better.”

    
“I never stop thinking about her.”

    
“Hey, look on the bright side. Even though it’s not quite the same, you’ll always have my mom there for you.”

    
Evelyn would never come close to being a mother figure. Scotty was a bit naïve to think she ever would.  How could I forget the conversation I overheard her having with Scotty the day of our wedding.

    
“Honey, are you sure this is what you want? You still have time to back out.”

    
“Why would you ask me something like that?” Scotty asked.

    
“Because a mother only wants what’s best for her son.”

   
“Would I be here right now if I didn’t love her?”

   
“I know you, and you wouldn’t do something you would regret later down the road.”

    
“I’m not a child, Mother. I can think for myself. I don’t need you always looking out for me when it comes to my relationships.”

    
“I’m sorry. I just see
you marrying a woman of more—\well, of more stature, more status.”

    
“I don't quite understand what you're getting at.”

    
“Honey, Alexa has no family, no money, and frankly, forgive me for saying this, but I find her to be somewhat inferior to this family.”

    
I figured she loosely referred to my lack of education. More than anything, Evelyn wanted her son to marry a woman she deemed to be on his level—a woman who was good enough for him by her standards. Scotty
had
graduated from San Diego State with a degree in business finance, and
Evelyn expected him to meet a nice girl who graduated anywhere other than from a beauty school. Whenever I thought of the woman, I remembered her as the one who deemed me unfit for her son. To save myself from aggravation, I never told Scotty about what I overheard that night—some things are better left unsaid.

     “If your
dad
was
still alive, I probably wouldn’t have met you,” Scotty said.

    
“True. I would have never ended up working at Fashion Land.” I took his hand and entwined it with mine. “Maybe you would have gotten back with the girl you broke up with a week before you met me.”

    
Scotty had been
in a serious four-year relationship with a red head named Gina Ricci. On the night Scotty was going to propose, Gina dropped the bomb that she was permanently moving to
upstate
New York to take care of her father who was ill with cancer. With Scotty's best interests at heart; she broke it off with him that night.

     
Scotty said he never believed in love at first sight until the day we met. Something in his gut told him I was the one. From that day forward, his belief in fate changed for the better.

***

    
I took my mind off the past couple weeks by working small projects for Isabella. I really began to loath those petty jobs. It was like starting from square one. In the meantime, I continued playing it off as though I was still working on a movie set.

    
In the midst of normality, I was halfway through getting my head bit off by a prissy super model when my phone rang. My heart stopped at the sight of the caller I.D. flashing Carter's name. Things could have continued quite happily if I ignored the call—I really tried. But it was as if some supernatural life form entered my body and forced me to pick it up. Like I told
Ruth, the man was a drug to me, and
I was drowning in my addiction to Carter Storm.

    
“Hey, you. How’s it going?” Carter asked.

    
“Oh, I just got my face ripped off by super model Cindy Taylor. Other than that, things are just dandy.”

    
“Well, I just got back from the studio. I'm collaborating with Little Mikey on a new album.”

    
“I love Little Mikey. I can't wait to hear it.”

    
“Well, that can be arranged. Why don't you come over tonight. I'll give you a preview,” he said. “I mean, if your husband doesn't mind.”

    
“I don't know. I’ll have to give you a call back on that one.”

    
“No worries. Hit me up later.”

    
I hung up and started breathing faster than I thought possible. That overwhelming need—the need for a Carter fix, once again took over my good judgment. I wanted—no, needed—to be with him as much as possible before something happened and he disappeared from my life all over again.

***

    
Scotty was in a rush that evening, hurrying back and forth from the bedroom to the bathroom.

    
“What's going on?” I asked.

    
“A client wants me to take them on a last-minute tour of a house in Laguna Beach. It's their second walk through, and they’re just about to make an offer,” he explained. “Help me with my tie. I don’t have the patience right now.”

    
I slipped the tie through the loophole and said, “Sweetie, just relax.”

    
“You tell yourself that when you’re trying to sell a multi-million-dollar home.” Scotty glanced at his watch. “Oh, man. I have to get out of here.” He grabbed his cell phone off the dresser. “I probably won't be home until late tonight. If they make the offer, I'm taking them out to dinner, so don't wait up for me.”

    
I have to admit that the timing was too perfect, like
everything was going according to plan. “I have to work tonight anyway.”

     
“Okay. Be good,” he said, kissing my lips. “Love ya.”

    
I watched him drive down the street with guilt constricting
in my chest like a swallowed snake. Something—or someone—was pushing
me to do bad things, and I couldn’t control

myself.

***

    
Carter greeted me at the threshold of his front door, barefooted and outfitted in Lakers basketball shorts and a matching jersey. I was partial
to the casual way he dressed because it
reminded me of his boyish days.

    
“So your husband bailed on you tonight, huh?” he asked as we walked into the kitchen.

    
“He got some last-minute call to take someone on a property tour.”

    
“Something to drink?” Carter asked as he opened
one of the cherry oak cabinets.

    
“Wine sounds good.” I took a seat on a barstool in front of his mile-long beige granite countertop.  The kitchen looked like something right out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine, only fancier. “So how about that preview you were talking about today?”

    
“Oh, I’m glad you brought that up.”

    
I followed him to the living room and seated myself on one of the black leather couches.

    
Carter strolled over to the stereo and popped in a CD. “This song is called ‘Dynamite’.”

    
The last thing I expected to hear was a pop,
techno beat. I was quite surprised at how Carter took the genre and made it all his own.

    
“Your love sets me on fire...oh, girl, you can't even begin to take me any higher. I better watch out and not get any closer. You set a fuse, and it's my head I'm about to lose. Girl, your love is dynamite...”

    
It was quite a comeback for him. The song sounded different from
anything else he put out there, and
I had to compliment his efforts. “Carter, that was amazing. I love it.”

    
“Really? You can tell me the truth.”

    
“I love all your songs, but this is one of the best.”

    
He smiled warmly. “Well, thanks. That really means a lot to me. I can give you a copy of a couple tracks I've already finished if you want.”

    
“I would love that.”

    
Carter talked about all the work he
had
poured into his upcoming album. He then regaled me with a few anecdotes about what life was like on the road. We just sat there eating expensive gourmet take-out and reminiscing about old times.

    
“So are there any other new songs you can give me a sneak preview of?”

    
“You know, I think I just might have one more. Be right back.” He smiled and quickly jogged into the next room.
He returned
moments later
with an acoustic guitar in hand.

    
“Nice. I get something live this time?”

    
He sat on the glass table beside me and clumsily strummed the guitar. “This song is called ‘Beautiful Girl.’
When she went away, she took my sun that day. She was gone
for
such a long time, and now she's back, but she'll never be mine. What a beautiful girl she turned out to be. Every time this girl is around, she makes me feel so free. Oh, Alexa, I wish you could be with me.
”

    
My throat went dry the second I heard my name in the lyrics. Automatically, tears ran down my face, hot and heavy. I turned away from him.

    
“What's wrong? You don't like it?” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Was it something I said?”

    
“No. It's beautiful, Carter,” I replied, holding back tears. “It's just that I waited thirteen years for this moment, and now it's too late.”

    
“I'm here now.”

    
“You can't keep doing this to me,” I said, looking deeply into his captivating blue eyes.

    
“And you can’t ignore your true feelings.” He made that comment with such conviction that I almost believed it myself. “Don’t you see? You’re here right now for a reason. This is our second chance.”

      He moved in close and grazed my lips with his. I immediately pushed him away, just like I did the first time he tried to kiss me so many years ago. Only this time, it was for a different reason.

    
“No, Carter. I'm married. I love my husband.”

    
“If that were true, you wouldn't be here right now.”

    
 
I didn’t owe him an explanation of any sort
when it came to my relationship with Scotty.
  
“I should go. It's late.”

    
“That’s it? You’re just going to walk out?”

    
“Thank you for a great evening.” I disregarded everything that was going through my mind at that moment, and hurried to the front door. I slipped out into the night, more discombobulated than I was the night we
had
reunited.

Chapter
15:

The Point of No Return

    
I admit it. I was completely miserable after walking out on Carter, and not to mention, things went downhill after that night. Isabella continued sending me on small jobs while Scotty relentlessly harped about the inconvenience of my schedule. After weeks of hiding it, I still had no intention of telling him about being fired. To make matters worse, and I never thought I’d hear myself saying it, working for Isabella had grown
tedious. I felt like I was at a dead end. Leaving Isabella was a scary thought, but there comes a time in life when one must break away and venture out on their own. For me, that time had come. I decided to make a surprise visit to Scotty's office and get some things off my chest.

    
Scotty
had been working
at a prestigious real estate firm, Cody Estates, in Newport Beach
for the past nine years. He was performing so well
when I first met him
that he quickly moved from agent to top broker, and he
had aspirations of opening up his own office. With good reason, I was sure he would understand my decision to quit working for Isabella.

     I drove
into the parking lot of the three-story office building. The upscale structure was entirely constructed with large glass windows. I entered through heavy glass doors that led into a swanky lobby.

    
A young, run-of-the-mill skinny blonde female sat behind a circular granite-top reception desk. Out of nothing but sheer habit, I’m sure, she smiled when she saw me walk in.

“Hello there. How can I help you?” she said with the most annoying chirp.

    
“I'm here to see Scott Logan. I'm his wife, Alexa.”

    
“Oh, just one second,” she said, pressing a button on her phone. “Scott? Your wife is in the lobby. Okay, I'll tell her.” She giggled into the phone like a schoolgirl. “He says he'll be right down.”

    
“Thanks.” I smiled uneasily and glanced around at all the fancy artwork on the walls.

    
“Hey, kid. This is a surprise.” Strangely, Scotty didn't bother to hug or kiss me. It was as though he was suddenly too shy to show affection in front of the receptionist. “So you got off work early?” he asked, flatly.

    
“Yeah, I wanted to drop by and say hello.”

    
“Well, let's go to my office,” he said. “Gretchen, can you hold my calls please?”

    
“Sure, Scotty,” she responded.

    
A knot of anger formed in my belly. The way she said his name was a bit too friendly for my liking. I was the only one allowed to call him by his nickname.