Forever Beach (11 page)

She's worried about losing her.
And there was a good chance she would. Unless Ilona took the case. And she had absolutely no reason to do that.

Leila wriggled out of her grasp and was looking up, chattering animatedly about something. Ilona wished she was close enough to hear. The kid looked well adjusted and happy. Not that you could tell from a meeting at a bus.

Who was she kidding? Of course you could. Ilona had made a study of body language, starting with how to shoplift without being caught and running the gambit down to which witness was lying.

And she knew she was looking at one happy child and one frightened adult.
Sarah still the scared little rabbit, through and through,
she thought contemptuously.

They began walking her way and Ilona stayed, wanting to get a better look at the kid. She should have had Reesa send a photo over with the rest of the documents. The kid was wearing pink shorts and a T-shirt with a picture that Ilona couldn't decipher. Even the backpack was pink. The kid had dark skin and short hair with cowlicks held by some kind of plastic clips, a round face, and stubby little legs.

At least Sarah hadn't chosen her for her beauty. Not like some people.

They were getting closer and Ilona could hear the kid talking a mile a minute; something about the sound tightened her throat and kept her from beating a strategic retreat until it was almost too late.

Sarah looked up and Ilona turned away. Keeping her face shielded from Sarah's view, she crossed the street. A woman on a day of shopping in no hurry.
No quick movements, don't look around. Just walk away.

But today Ilona couldn't help herself. When she reached the other side of the street, she did look. Sarah turned at the same time. And they were staring at each other. Ilona slowly turned, walked slowly away, forcing herself not to hurry until she reached the walk-through, then she ducked around the corner of the hardware store and ran like crazy.

S
ARAH STARTED TO
cross the street but stopped. For a split second a woman directly across from her stared back at her. It looked just like that lawyer, Ilona Cartwright. But what would she be doing here?

Leila pulled at her jeans.

“Just a minute.” Sarah looked again. As she watched, the woman turned almost in slow motion and began to walk down the sidewalk away from Sarah. There was something . . . something.

You won't get caught if you don't make any quick movements, just slip it beneath your jacket and walk away, no quick movements. Don't run until you find a place to get out of sight, then run like hell.

Sarah snatched Leila off her feet, hoisted her to her hip, and ran.

S
arah stood at the far end of the walk-through, panting and clutching Leila to her side while she scanned the street for any sign of the woman who she was sure had been watching them.

She didn't find her. She knew she wouldn't.

“Mommee, what's wrong?”

“Nothing, sweet girl. I just saw someone I thought I knew and wanted to say hi.”

She was still having trouble believing what she had just seen. Or believing that she'd actually seen anything. She must be losing her mind because of stress or something.

Because when Ilona Cartwright turned and walked away from her, Sarah saw someone else. And when without warning the woman slipped into the walk-through, out of sight, Sarah knew. She knew. Somehow . . . it didn't make sense. And it couldn't be true. And yet it must be.

She'd just seen a ghost. Because she'd thought, wondered, believed that Nonie was dead.

“I want to get down.”

“I'm sorry, baby. Was that a bumpy ride?”

Leila nodded. Her bottom lip was stuck out.
Don't cry,
Sarah thought. She was afraid she might join her. And that wouldn't do, not with the visitation meeting on the horizon. Tomorrow.

She wished she could talk to Karen, but this was soccer, ballet, and Brownie day. And Sarah already felt she took too much of her friend's attention. The only thing Sarah could do to help Karen was to occasionally baby-sit when Karen and Stu needed a night away from the kids. Most of the time, help was a one-way street coming toward Sarah.

“How about we go see if Wyatt is at the store and wants to go for ice cream.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Leila bounced on her toes. She really had come a long way with Wyatt, especially in the last few weeks. Sarah just hoped that wouldn't be undone once visits with Carmen began.

They started back down the walk-through, and now that there was no emergency, Leila wanted to be carried. Sarah gladly lugged her to her hip, even though she was already beginning to feel the unaccustomed sprint in her thighs. She needed to get more exercise. Wyatt was always telling her so, but she just never seemed to have time.

The idea of Mommy and Me classes ran through her head, and she mentally crossed her fingers. Soon, if God had ears, it would be soon.

Wyatt was in the store just wrapping up an equipment rental to four muscular men who Sarah recognized as members of the rescue team from a nearby town. They'd just beat out Wy
att's group for first place in this year's lifeguard competition—a trophy that Wyatt's team had won three years in a row—and they'd been razzing him about it ever since.

“Don't get too complacent,” Wyatt said good-naturedly. “We were working with a depleted crew. We'll get it back next year.”

“Big talk,” said one of the guys. “We scorched you.”

“Enjoy it while you can. Now when are you bringing these tanks back?” Wyatt acknowledged Sarah and Leila with a lift of his chin and helped the men lug the tanks and apparatus out to their trucks.

“So to what do I owe this pleasure?” he said, coming back through the door. It closed behind him. He came straight over and gave Sarah a lengthy kiss.

She was acutely aware that Leila might be watching them, but when she pulled away, she saw that Leila had found the resident boogie board and was squatting on top of it pretending to ride the waves. Then Sarah was sorry she'd pulled away so soon.

“We thought you might like to go for ice cream.”

“Ice cream on a Tuesday afternoon. What's the occasion?”

Sarah punched his arm. “I can be spontaneous.”

He gave her a look that made her pulse race. He leaned in and said, “I know you can. And I like it when you are.” He straightened up. “Of course I like you when you aren't, too.”

She punched him again. She watched Leila battling the big waves for a few seconds then said, “There is something else.”

“Uh-oh. Hit me with it.”

“It's going to sound crazy.”

“I can take crazy.”

“It was the weirdest thing.”

“Sarah.”

“Right. Well, when I was picking Leila up from the bus, I saw this woman watching us.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“A caseworker checking up on you?”

“The lawyer who wouldn't take my case.”

“That's odd. Maybe it was just a coincidence. She's out shopping and sees you and you see her. Bound to be awkward.”

“Maybe, but I got the distinct impression she was spying on me.” She hesitated. “That's not all.”

He waited.

“We looked right at each other, then she turned and walked away. And this is the crazy part, for a split second she looked just like a girl I used to know. In group home. We were like sisters and then she got adopted and I never heard from her again.”

She waited for him to comment, but he didn't. He was good that way.

“So I grabbed Leila and ran after her. She was gone just like Nonie would do when we were . . . when we were shoplifting.”

He half smiled. “During your life of crime.”

“It isn't funny. I thought she must be dead, because we promised to write and I wrote every week and she never did.” Sarah didn't know why she felt like crying. She'd reconciled herself long ago to having lost Nonie. On top of all the other stuff she was going through, seeing her again today was just too much.

“Well, let's see if we can find out and then we'll have ice cream.”

At the mention of ice cream, Leila immediately lost interest in the boogie board and ran over to them.

“Just a few more minutes,” Sarah told her.

Wyatt moved behind the counter to where he kept his laptop. He keyed in Ilona Cartwright's name. Then her website.

Sarah read over his shoulder as he scrolled down her bio page.

“Yale. Impressive.”

“It doesn't go back further?”

“Nope, but . . .” He went back to the search page. Almost four hundred thousand links.

He looked back at Sarah. “This could take a while; can it wait until after ice cream?”

She nodded. Maybe it should wait forever.

Wyatt went to the back to tell his stock boy, Victor, to watch the store. Victor was a fiftysomething-year-old surfer with a long gray ponytail and a selection of surfer logo T-shirts that never seemed to repeat themselves.

“I bet I know what Leila wants,” Wyatt said as he swung her up to his shoulders.

“Banilla with sprinkles,” she squealed. “Banilla with sprinkles.”

I
LONA DIDN'T STOP
to breathe until she was in her car and blocks away. What had she been thinking? This is not how a well-respected lawyer behaved. And yet she was skulking around the streets like common . . . . street trash. When would she ever learn?

She was a fool.

She barely noticed the red light or car stopped in front of her and just managed to slam on the brakes, stopping a few inches from the car's back bumper. Traffic was snarled into a
total gridlock at the intersection, with waiting cars lined up in all directions. And she wasn't even to the highway.

What had she done to heap this day on her head? She hadn't intended to come this way. She'd meant to turn before this and drive up the coast route. But she'd driven away in panic mode, hadn't paid attention to where she was going, and now here she was stuck in traffic in the one place she didn't want to be.

The hood, where they'd hung out between school and curfew. And it was pretty much the same from what she could tell from the interior of her car. Young toughs and their girls were hanging on the street, exuding attitude and cigarette smoke. The guys wore their pants lower, the girls their hair bigger, and instead of boom boxes they had iPod buds dangling from their ears. But they still thought they were so cool.
Man, you're gonna die.

A car behind her honked.

Idiot. Where did he think she could go?

She dropped her forehead to the steering wheel. She needed to go home.

            
Dear Sarah,

                
I skipped school and hitched down to the home to see you yesterday. I was real careful and I didn't go in. I was afraid it would get back to Donnie and June, aka Donald and June Cartwright, my adoptive parents. I didn't see you and when I stopped one of the kids, they had never heard of you. So I guess you got placed.

                
Donnie and June found out where I went and went all huffy on me. They were very disappointed in my behavior
and after all they've done for me. And they said that I was ungrateful.

                
I'm not ungrateful, but I'll never tell them that. It's like being in prison here, a posh cushy prison, but not a life. I'm like some cheap figurine they dust and put out on display to show everyone what good people they are, so everyone will vote for Donnie.

                
June likes her little rat dog more than she likes me. Donnie's okay, I guess, just clueless.

                
I'll stick it out, play the game, because I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I hope. Maybe it's just a big old freight train ready to finish me off.

                
Sometimes I wish we'd run off before that day. But we woulda never made it.

You're still my sister.

Nonie

Traffic inched forward and Ilona tried not to look anywhere but straight ahead. Had Sarah recognized her? It seemed to Ilona that for a split second, recognition flickered in her eyes, but Ilona hadn't waited around to see what would happen. She'd run, coward that she was.

She reached to the dashboard and speed dialed the office. “I'm stuck in traffic,” she told Inez. “If Mrs. Sobrato arrives before I do, tell her I'm running late. I'll be there as soon as I can.”

As soon as she got to the next corner, she turned off the congested street. She'd have to take the backstreets to get to the highway. She remembered all the backstreets. Hell, she'd lived on some of them. But first she locked the car doors, not
because she was afraid, but to show them she wasn't one of them anymore.

S
ARAH,
L
EILA, AND
Wyatt were sitting at one of the round sidewalk tables outside the ice cream parlor when Wyatt's phone sounded an alert from the rescue patrol. He looked at it and stood.

“Sorry.”

“Be careful,” she called after him, but he was already sprinting down the sidewalk to the dive shop where his SUV was parked.

“Where's Wyatt going?” Leila asked.

“Some people need his help.”

“Can we go?”

“No, only the rescue team can go.”

“I want to be on the rescue team.”

“Some day when you're grown up, you can be. But for now how about we walk down to the library?”

Leila nodded vigorously. “And get some books.”

“Good idea.” Now that Leila was more settled, her reading was improving by leaps and bounds. No worries about her mental capacities so far.

Sarah knew she should start reminding Leila that tomorrow was her visit with Carmen, but she was still shaken from seeing Nonie, and she just wanted a few more minutes with Leila before everything went south.

“Mommee, let's go.”

“Right, the library,” Sarah said. She cleaned Leila's face and both their hands, then put their trash in the receptacle and they strolled down the side street to the library.

They returned home an hour later with Sarah carrying a book bag filled with at least ten books. Leila would have taken more, but Sarah convinced her that more wouldn't fit in the bag. As soon as they were back inside Leila climbed on the couch and pulled them out one by one. “Read now, Mommee.”

“After supper and your bath. You start picking out the ones you want to read first while I make dinner.”

“This one.” Leila put one down beside her on the couch. “And this one.” Soon she was jabbering away, talking to herself, or maybe an imaginary friend, about the merits of each book. And Sarah went to cook dinner.

Leila wanted to bring the books to the table, but Sarah explained about getting food on the books and she was finally convinced to carry them back to her room to be read that night.

The books were stacked neatly on her bedside table when Sarah went to tuck her in a couple of hours later.

Leila climbed into bed. “
Green Eggs and Ham,
” she said and patted the place next to her for Sarah to sit.

“I thought we'd look at this first,” Sarah said, bringing out the
Everybody Loves Me
photo album. “Since tomorrow you get to visit Carmen.”

Leila frowned. “
Green Eggs and Ham.
”

Sarah didn't have the heart to argue. She dropped
Everybody Loves Me
on the floor. It had been one of those projects that was supposed to help children feel loved and secure. What a joke. It might work for Leila, for a while, but Sarah had no illusions about who loved whom. She opened
Green Eggs and Ham
.

Sarah held the book between them as she read, and Leila joined her on every Sam I Am. Sarah was afraid she'd be upset over the impending visit, but she fell asleep almost as soon as Sarah closed the book.

She tiptoed out of the room and left the door ajar. She usually loved this time at night, with the house perfectly quiet except for an occasional creak or groan. Sarah liked to work in the wee hours. But tonight she had other plans. She booted up her laptop; work and worry about tomorrow could wait while she delved into her past.

It was after midnight when Sarah found an early newspaper clipping of a younger Nonie and her foster parents, Donald and June Cartwright. Donald was a member of the state legislature and on a bunch of committees that Sarah didn't really care about. June, according to the article, was active in many charitable foundations, including foster placement.