Forever An Ex (4 page)

Chapter

Five

I
glanced down at my ringing phone. Dang! Was Noon really up this early? My mouth stretched into a wide yawn as I pressed ignore, exactly the way I'd done at least a hundred times over the last three days.

That's how long it'd been since I'd seen Bobby . . . and last talked to Noon.

From the time I met Noon in middle school, we'd never gone more than one day without speaking to each other, and on every voice-mail message, Noon reminded me of that.

My hope was that the blush of her new love with Brett would keep her away from my front door; and it did, but it wasn't enough to make her stop calling me.

When my cell rang again, and Noon's name popped up, I yawned and powered off my phone. My best friend's I-told-you-so's, and then her trying to convince me to do Plan B were going to have to wait. Right now I had the issue of Angel to handle.

I shoved my phone inside the pocket of my sweatshirt. This wasn't something I did often because of Angel. But it was just a little after seven; Angel was just getting up and Ms. Martinez, my nanny/housekeeper, was there to make sure she was fed and off to school.

I jumped out of my car, then scooted up on the hood. The heat of the engine warmed my butt, but that was okay. This was winter at the beach, I could use the heat. And, I could use some prayer . . . which is why, for the first time ever, I called this prayer meeting.

Me, calling a prayer meeting. With Sheridan Goodman and Kendall Stewart. Six years ago, who would've thunk it?

When my aunt hooked me up with Sheridan, Kendall, and another woman, Vanessa Martin, all those years ago, I thought that she was suffering from early-stage dementia. Really? My Aunt Beverly, who was a pastor, really wanted me to get together on the regular and pray with those old women?

But I can admit that I was wrong, she was right. Because after just a few weeks, praying with the three of them became a part of my week that I looked forward to.

But then tragedy dealt us a huge blow. Vanessa, probably one of the sweetest, gentlest, kindest women I will ever know, committed suicide. I cried so hard that day that my chest actually ached. I guess that was true heartache, and with Sheridan and Kendall going through the same thing, we really bonded after that.

Not that I would ever tell them—especially not Kendall—but the time I spent with the two of them back then really helped me through the pain of losing Vanessa . . . and Bobby. And since then, it always helped to be around grown women who made sense and who prayed.

Not that I was dissin' my girl Noon, but she was just as scandalous as I was. Sheridan and Kendall approached life with at least some semblance of God and I needed people like that around me.

So, that's what Sheridan and Kendall were—my spiritual anchors. And I guess in some way I was that for them, because no matter what time we got that call, we were always there for each other—as Sheridan and Kendall proved when I spoke to them just a little over an hour ago.

I'd called because I thought they would be able to help me find some of the answers that I couldn't. Sheridan would be kind and gentle, Kendall would be uncouth and crabby. And both would pray and help me work through this Angel–Bobby–Caroline–New York thing.

That's what I told them once Sheridan had connected Kendall to our call.

“
You
want to get together and pray?” Kendall had asked. She'd been asleep when Sheridan had called, but right then Kendall had sounded like she was awake enough to faint.

“Yes,” I said, too tired to be offended. “I was hoping you guys would have some time for lunch or maybe dinner today.”

“Lunch, dinner?” Kendall said. “Sheridan, what're you doing? We need to get over there and lay hands on this child right now.”

Usually, I had something for Kendall when she came at me like that, but not only was I tired, I was scared, so I didn't care that Kendall was clowning me. As it turned out, though, she wasn't kidding.

“Okay, I'm getting up now,” Sheridan had said. “Where do you want to meet?”

“Wait!” I said. “Now?”

“Uh, yeah, now,” Kendall jumped in. “You need us! You want us to come to your place?”

“No. Let's meet at the beach, is that okay?”

“Give me an hour,” Sheridan and Kendall said together as if they'd had that answer ready for a time such as this.

I was already crying when I hung up the phone. Who had friends who would jump out of bed in the middle of the night? Well, it may not have exactly been the middle of the night, but it was to me. I hardly got out of bed before noon.

I closed my eyes and inhaled, taking in the ocean's mist. The parking lot was a couple of hundred feet from the edge of the beach, but it was like I was sitting on top of the waves. Since Bobby's latest rejection, I'd been holed up at home like a chicken in a coop. But there, I couldn't think, I could hardly breathe.

Out here in the open, I hoped to find clarity. Maybe I'd find all the solutions that would keep Angel in Los Angeles.

“Asia!”

I opened my eyes slowly, trying to maintain my calm and tranquility, even if Kendall was screaming at me.

Sheridan and Kendall stood in front of my car, both with their arms crossed as if they'd been standing there for a minute.

“Oh, yeah, we definitely need to pray for you,” Kendall said. “I think you're losing your hearing.”

“Leave her alone,” Sheridan said as she pulled me off the car and into her arms. “Obviously, she has a lot on her mind.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Kendall grumbled. But then she did the same thing that Sheridan had done—she hugged me. And Kendall held me so tight, like she was trying to tell me that even though she didn't know what was going on, everything was going to be all right.

When I stepped back, Sheridan asked, “You okay?”

I didn't know what happened. Maybe it was just thinking about the talk with Angel. Maybe it was all of the fears that I had about Caroline. Maybe it was because now that Sheridan and Kendall were here, I wasn't alone.

Or maybe it was because no matter how Kendall acted, she really did love me.

“Yeah, are you okay?” Kendall repeated Sheridan's question.

That was when I lost it. I burst into tears. I could say that I just cried, but that would be a lie. I stood on the edge of that ocean and bawled like a baby; the only thing is that babies eventually stop, but I wasn't sure if I ever would.

 • • •

After I got myself together, we trekked down to the edge of the beach. I took off my sneakers and let the cool ocean water wash over my feet.

Sheridan and Kendall kept their sneakers on, grumbling about it being too cold to be walking in the water. But to me, it was as refreshing as the cry fest I'd just had.

“Let us know when you're ready to talk,” Sheridan said gently.

I took just a few more steps then told Sheridan and Kendall everything. From my talk with Bobby to my talk with Angel, though I did leave out the part about how I was gonna get Bobby back.

“You need to put that child on a plane tomorrow because she's brilliant,” Kendall said when I'd finished.

That stopped me right in my tracks. “Are you serious? You think I should let her go?”

Kendall shrugged, then nodded. “Yeah, I don't see the big deal. Angel is smart, she's thought it out, she knows what she wants, even more than people who are triple her age, and it's not like she'll be in New York with someone she doesn't know.”

Yeah, she'll be with Caroline, though I kept that thought to myself. That was another part of the story that I didn't tell Sheridan and Kendall—my suspicions about Caroline trying to steal my daughter. I didn't want them to think that this was all about some rivalry I had with Bobby's wife.

“Let her go, Asia,” Kendall continued. “It'll be good for her.”

I couldn't believe what Kendall was telling me and I felt like crying all over again. “Why would you say that?” Before she could answer, I said, “Oh, wait. You don't have any children. You don't know what it's like to be a mother!” Then I looked to Sheridan. And if she told me the same thing, I was going to throw myself into the ocean.

“Okay, hold on, you two,” Sheridan said, being the peacemaker that she always was. “Kendall, you're right. What Angel said . . . she's clearly beyond her years. But”—she turned back to me—“I have to agree with you. It would be hard for me to let her go.”

“See!” I said to Kendall as if Sheridan's words were the gospel. “I can't let her go and I don't see any reason why I have to.” I held up my arms to the heavens. “This is L.A. People leave Iowa and North Dakota and Wyoming to come here.”

“And people leave L.A. to go to New York,” Kendall said. When I glared at her, she said, “All I'm saying is that you've got to consider what your daughter wants.”

“She's eleven!”

“So what? Clearly, she's a brilliant eleven-year-old who's focused and goal-oriented.”

“And every goal she wants to achieve . . . she can do it here.”

Kendall shook her head.

“I can't believe you're not supporting me,” I said to Kendall.

She waved her hand like she was slapping my words into the ocean. “There is no way I'd be out here in this cold weather, walking on this cold beach, at seven-thirty in the morning, if I weren't supporting you.”

She had a point, but I wasn't going to tell her that.

Kendall said, “I'm just telling you the truth. That's what I thought friends did. But I guess you can't handle it.”

“You know what?” I said, pointing my finger in Kendall's direction. “I don't need your opinion anymore. Don't say another word to me.”

“What? You think you can shut me up because you don't want to hear the truth?”

Sheridan held up her hands, stopping Kendall from saying anything else. “Of course Asia wants the truth. There's just a better way to say it.” To me, she said, “Suppose Kendall is right, though. I wouldn't want Angel to ever feel like you held her back.”

That was my greatest fear. If I said no, would my child end up hating me? With a sigh, I said, “Well, the good thing is we have a couple of years. Maybe by then, Angel will have changed her mind and she'll be interested in something else.”

“Like what?” Kendall asked with just enough of a chuckle to let me know that she thought I was being ridiculous. Clearly my telling her to shut up didn't matter. “Your daughter was singing before she could talk and dancing before she could walk. This is in her blood, Asia. She knows what she wants.”

I growled. Just because Kendall was right didn't mean I had to like it.

“The good thing is that you do have a few years,” Sheridan jumped in. “And in the meantime, we'll all pray about it.”

“Yeah, we can pray, but my prayer is gonna be that you come to your senses,” Kendall said. “Pray over her and let that child go. And if it's that big of a deal and you can't stand to be separated, just move to New York, too.”

Then the three of us stood there quietly for a moment.

Kendall seemed the most surprised at her own words. “Yeah,” she said, as if she was warming to that idea. “Why don't you just move to New York with her?”

Sheridan looked at me as if she thought that was brilliant.

“I can't . . . move to New York.”

“Why not?” Sheridan and Kendall asked together.

Kendall added, “You got a job that you didn't tell us about?”

I gave her the squinty eye—the look that was meant to tell her to shut up before I gave her a beat-down. The problem was, Kendall wasn't afraid of me, so she gave me the look right back.

Then Sheridan said, “That is a thought, Asia. What about you moving to New York?”

I sighed, but didn't say a word. I didn't want to move to New York. I'd been born and raised in Los Angeles and this was all I knew. “What would I do in New York?”

“The same thing that you do in L.A. . . . nothing,” Kendall said.

I really wanted to take Kendall right there. Just drop her to the sand and hold her head underwater. But the thing was, even though Kendall was seven years older than me, she was in such good shape, she'd flip the script and I'd be the one drowning in the Pacific.

“I don't know anyone in New York,” I said to Sheridan as if Kendall wasn't even there. “It would be scary.”

“Well, what's scarier . . . having Angel in New York without you, or you and Angel doing this together?” Kendall asked, ignoring the fact that I was ignoring her.

But even though I wasn't trying to hear her, I had to pause. Kendall was right; I'd be there with Angel.

“It's something to think about,” Sheridan said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me along.

For the next few minutes, we were all silent, trudging through the sand. I'm sure Sheridan and Kendall were thinking that they'd come up with a grand solution, but they were wrong. If my girls didn't want to help me the way I needed to be helped, I'd just have to figure this out myself.

Then, all of a sudden, Kendall said, “My father's surgery is today.”

She might as well have been giving a weather report, that's how casual she was.

“What!” Sheridan exclaimed before I could. Both of us stopped walking, even though Kendall kept on moving.

Then Sheridan and I shouted together, “Kendall!”

Finally, she turned around and looked at us like we were the ones with a problem.

I stomped through the sand until I was in her face. “You were supposed to tell us when this was happening,” I said, all thoughts of my issues totally out of my mind. Right now it was all about Kendall and her dad.

A few days before Christmas, Kendall had told me and Sheridan that her father had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn't believe it at first. I thought it was just a ploy by her dad to get Kendall to have Christmas dinner with him. I mean, I'd never heard of a man having that kind of cancer.