Forever An Ex (33 page)

Pastor Beverly Ford

Lessons Learned

Chapter

Forty-Four

T
his wasn't the first time that I'd done this.

I'd summoned the ladies to the church before, most of the time, though they were by themselves. But today, I'd called them to the sanctuary together, just like I'd done a few days after Christmas.

But today was so different from that time almost five months before. Today, I had something special for them.

I stepped into the sanctuary and marveled at just how different it was. The last time I'd been here with them, I'd walked in and it was so silent. They were spread across the sanctuary as if they didn't even know each other.

But today, it didn't seem like they were waiting for a death sentence. Today, the three of them—Sheridan, Kendall, and Asia—sat in the front pew right in front of the altar, chatting like the friends that I'd always known they'd become.

It almost brought tears to my eyes just thinking about the way they'd grown in God. When I brought them together all those years ago in a prayer support group, I knew I was doing the right thing. And today, seven years later, this was proof of it.

Even with the tragedy that was still fresh in our lives, these ladies were smiling. Kendall was not wallowing and that was what I was most proud of. Each of these ladies knew that they would get through Sabrina's death, and anything else with the Lord. And with love. And with friendship.

It wasn't until I was almost in front of them that the ladies noticed me.

“Hey, Pastor,” they said in unison. Then, as if it was choreographed, they each jumped up to hug me.

I saved Kendall for last because I wanted to give her a little extra.

When they sat back down, Sheridan said, “So, you wanted to see us?”

I nodded and looked at each of them. What amazing lessons they had all learned.

“Do you know how proud I am of each of you?”

The beamed as if they knew exactly how far they'd come.

“It's been a long journey,” I said.

“Hold up, Aunt Beverly,” Asia said. “You're talking like our journey is over.” She laughed.

“Well, in a way, it is.”

That wiped the smiles off of their faces.

I said, “Don't worry, your friendship will go on forever. There's nothing that anyone can do to stop that. But did you realize that we're coming up on the seventh year of the Ex Files?”

Their stares told me that meant nothing to them—at least not yet.

“Well, I know you know that seven is God's number of completion. And though He is a long way from being finished with you, or me, I think this is a good time for us to think about where do we go with the Ex Files in the eighth year. The number eight—God's number for new beginnings.”

“Okay,” Sheridan said. “What do you have in mind?”

“I'm glad you asked.” I chuckled. “I think each of you has learned some amazing lessons over the past few months that need to be shared. For example, Sheridan, what do you think you've gotten out of this journey?”

I could see her measuring the words in her head, not sure at all how much she wanted to say.

“I guess the biggest lesson I've learned, Pastor, is that I'm not anybody's savior. And it seems like a simple lesson, but I think sometimes, as women, we take on everybody's issues. Our children's, our husband's, even our friends' . . . when they have issues, we think we can solve everything. When most of the time, the best thing we can do for anybody is just take them and their issues to the altar.”

I smiled. That sounded like a sermon to me.

Normally, I would go to Kendall next, but I glanced instead at my niece. I still had to shake my head at the hard lessons she'd learned. Even now I wanted to strangle her, ask her what she'd been thinking. But she had a powerful message for so many women . . . and girls.

I didn't even have to ask Asia what she'd learned; she began, “Well, I know what I'd want to tell some people, especially these young girls out here.” Her finger swayed in the air with each word she spoke. “We need to educate these girls on tablets, social media, and how all of it is the devil's playground!”

Sheridan, Kendall, and I laughed out loud. But Asia didn't crack a smile. She was serious.

“I'm not playin',” she said. “I think Satan created all of that. Look at how people are getting in trouble. That ain't nothin' but the devil!”

“Or maybe not,” Kendall said before I could say anything. “Maybe there's nothing wrong with tablets and social media and the Internet. Maybe it's just how we use it.”

“Whatever! Somebody needs to be teaching these girls something. I don't want people to have to go through what I went through.”

I nodded.

“Oh.” Asia raised her hand again. “And, my biggest lesson is that I can't even tell if someone loves me until I learn how to love myself first. I think it was because I wasn't sure of myself that I didn't recognize Bobby's game. But now that I am, nobody will be able to step to me like that again.”

Lesson learned! Can I tell you how proud I was to hear my niece finally talk this way? I knew that the seeds she'd sown with Bobby Johnson had not been good. He was always another woman's man. But he'd gotten to my niece when she was young, nurtured her to be the woman he wanted her to be, then almost destroyed her.

It had to be difficult—Bobby had been part of her world for half of her life. And with the good things that he'd done for her, he was a hard man to get over.

But Asia seemed to be doing it. And what I loved best was how her focus was now on Angel.

Now I turned to Kendall.

Without me saying a word, she took a deep breath. “I learned that we don't get many chances to have do-overs in life. So, when you know better, you should do better. I was stubborn for so long. I just wanted the world to know how much I'd been hurt. And I wanted everyone to understand and agree with me and hate Sabrina, too. But really, while people listened to me, the only person who cared about that mess was me. And what good did that do?”

Kendall sighed and glanced down at her hands. “Love has to trump everything; no one in this world is as bad as the worst thing they've ever done. Sabrina was amazing in my life for over thirty years, until . . . and I never gave her a chance to make a comeback. I wiped thirty years out like it was nothing.

“After a few years, I should've done something. Counseling, something, especially since she'd always tried to make an effort with me. And I'm really sorry that I didn't. But I'm determined to not have any more regrets like this. Never again.”

I wanted to raise my hands in victory, do a Holy Ghost dance, and shout
Hallelujah!
But what I said was, “Excellent. You've learned lessons that no man could ever teach. Only experience could be this kind of teacher. And I'm hoping that you're willing to use your experiences to teach.”

“What do you mean?” Asia asked.

Before I could answer, Kendall said, “You want us to stand up in front of the world and shout out this message,” as if she already knew what I was talking about.

“Well, you can put it that way . . . just leave out the shouting.” I laughed. “Seriously, though, I think you ladies have a show that needs to go on the road. The three of you are dealing with issues that women need to hear, and learn from.”

The three of them looked at me, and then, when they glanced at each other, they shrugged and nodded.

“So, what do you think?” I asked. “You think we have something here?”

“Yeah,” Sheridan said. And then Kendall and Asia agreed.

“Okay. Well, you ladies get together and let me know what you come up with. And we'll make it happen.”

“Okay,” they said together, seeming like they liked the idea.

They may have only liked it, but I loved it. Because I knew that their lessons were going to touch so many.

Standing up straight, I reached for their hands and they stood, too. And just like we always did when the four of us got together in this way, in this sanctuary, we formed a circle of four and held hands.

I never had to say a word, the ladies all bowed their heads. And then in the quietness of God's house, we sent our prayers to the Lord.

A Note from the

Author

I
think many people would be surprised to know that I'm not crazy about sequels. That's hard to believe, huh? Especially since I have a series of six Jasmine books (not counting the ones I've done with ReShonda) and now this “Exes” group (which really began with
Grown Folks Business
—Sheridan's story). So for a person who doesn't like to write sequels, why do I do so many? Because I listen to my readers and to the marketplace. And when I can, I respond to them. But what I love as a writer is taking new journeys, meeting new people, and listening to new voices in my head. If I had my way, I would have more than twenty books out there filled with people you would never see again. But I look at this career as a partnership—me, my publisher, and you, the readers. So in this partnership, as in any great partnership, we've all compromised. And I've written books that will satisfy a little for a lot of people.

Now, while I'm not crazy about sequels, every time I finish a novel, I'm glad I went back to revisit these folks. I love to see characters grow so I've never regretted a single sequel that I've written, and I was really happy with the way
Forever an Ex
turned out. The story lines shocked me, especially Kendall's. I was so sorry when that tragedy hit her. I argued with the writing voice in my head that told me I had to do it. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Do. It. But after complaining and being a little pissed about it, I went with that tragedy because that story had to be told. People have to see the possible consequences of nonforgiveness in their lives. So I hope a heart or two will be changed by what went down between Kendall and Sabrina. And if one heart is, then writing
Forever an Ex
in that way was worth it.

The Ex Files
(and by default,
Forever an Ex
) has been optioned to become a movie. That is another reason why I'm happy I did revisit these characters. While the author has little to say about the movie script, writing this story gives the producers and the other powers that be more to work with . . . so we'll see what happens. (The Hollywood process is a long, long, long, long journey. So no, I have no idea when the movie will be finished or when it will come out.)

Well that explains why I wrote this novel, and really, I'd love to end this author's note right here because the next part gives me such anxiety that sometimes I break out in hives. It is hard to write acknowledgments because I will inevitably leave out someone by accident. Like the time I acknowledged my nieces who'd helped me spread the word about my novel. My mother called me and said, “You forgot Ciara! Why did you leave out Ciara?” I tried to explain that yes, Ciara is my niece, and yes, I didn't include her, but that was because she didn't help me spread the word about my novel, being that she was only four years old at the time. I've been traumatized since. So all I say about the people I love is that I'm acknowledging all of you. And that I love you. And that you know that already and don't need validation in a book. That goes for all of my friends and family!

Whew! Now that that's over with, I can get on to my professional acknowledgments. I've been published by a major publisher since 2000, and I've spent most of those years with Simon and Schuster. I just celebrated my tenth anniversary with Touchstone Books, an imprint of S&S, and ten years is like one hundred years in publishing. Seriously, very few authors are blessed with such longevity, let alone as a writer with one publisher, so this is a special time for me. This hasn't been an easy journey. Right in the middle of my career, the digital market exploded, making bookstores close and taking away the opportunity for people to buy print books with ease. Honestly, for the past several years, it's felt like my career has been touch and go—some years more touch than go. But the thing is, Touchstone has stayed with me and I am grateful to the entire team. I'm very excited to be working with two new people at Touchstone: Susan Moldow, my publisher, and my new editor, Lauren Spiegel. I am thrilled about Lauren—she's a writer's editor, the kind who will get down in the ditches with you and help you figure out your whole crazy story. Thank you, Lauren, for helping me make
Forever an Ex
a better, tighter novel. (And as much as I love this book, I cannot wait for the next!) And then there's Shida Carr, my publicist for the past ten years. There are no words to completely say what I think about Shida so I'll keep it simple: Shida, you're the best in the business . . . period! It's because of you that I've been able to hang on during these tough times and I have a feeling that it's all about to pay off. So a major thank-you! And to everyone else at Touchstone: Sally, Meredith, and those in the editorial, publicity, and marketing departments: the fact that you believe in me means the world. I'm blessed to be rolling with Team Touchstone.

That's what I call the inside team but there's also the outside team, who are equally important. Just as I've only had two publishers, I've only had two agents. And I must be living right because how can one person possibly end up with the best publisher and the best agent? Not possible, right? Wrong. Liza, I don't think there's anyone who believes in me more than you do, with the exception of my mother. But mothers have to believe; agents don't. It could be all about business. Not with you, though. Every time I speak with you, I hang up and feel like I can conquer the writing world. Thank you for all that you do, but most important, thank you for how much you believe! And to everyone else at Liza Dawson Associates, from Jamie to Monica and Havis, thank you all for never getting tired of me and my calls and emails.

Thank you to Courtney Parker for the hookup and for believing in this project. And thank you, Malik Yoba, for the same.

My sorors of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.: What can I say about the world's greatest sorority? Of course I love my other Greek sisters, but there is nothing like the love I've been shown by my sorors. To all the Deltas who've been supporting my work from the beginning to the ones who had never heard of me but are supporting me now: my gratitude goes from here to infinity. I thank you, thank you, thank you! (I do have to give one special soror shout-out. Well, maybe not one, more like three: Essie Jeffries, who has supported me since I was self-published; Stephanie Perry Moore, whose first words to me—“I've been praying for you for a year”—still touch my heart; and Suzzanne Douglas Cobb, for just believing in me. Thank you, sorors!)

Finally to all the readers out there: I wish I could list each and every name, but the good news is that that list is growing once again so there are not enough pages. :-) For years you've been there and I am so grateful. I wouldn't have a career without you and I am well aware of that. So thank you for supporting me and for getting into these crazy characters as much as I do. And to one of my special readers who just happens to be a soror, Denise Dowdy: What would my life be like if I hadn't sat next to you that day at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books! You know you rock, right?

So now that I've finished this note, I can begin work on my 2015 novel. Wait until you hear about this one . . .