Forever Alexa (Book Four In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series) (30 page)

Alexa read and reread what would be her new identity—if she actually got a hit. Hopefully this was good enough. Hopefully her plan would work. She’d been careful to add the pieces most lures appeared to look for—youth, naiveté, a definite lack of direction, and desperation to be part of the fashion world. With nothing left to do, she uploaded the third picture she had taken of the dozen. The big, trusting eyes and flirty hint of smile matched Jennifer Carstens best—better than the rebellion shot imitating Kristen Moore.

Two doors slammed in the driveway; the sound ricocheted off the water. Alexa came to attention when Jack and Tucker’s voices called out their goodnights to Mr. Farley. The old pickup reversed and drove away. Seconds later, the front door opened.

“Shoot.
Shoot
.” With her heart in her throat and her hand on the mouse, Alexa scanned Jennifer Carstens’ profile one last time. Footsteps took the stairs in twos and walked down the hall, stopping outside her door. Afraid she would chicken out, she slammed her eyes shut and clicked
submit
with a trembling finger. She sat statue still, taking in deep breaths. It was done. She was officially a liar.

Knuckles wrapped lightly on the wood, and Jack poked his head in. “You’re up.”

Alexa opened her eyes and exed out of the site, then shut her laptop and stood. “Yeah.” She cleared her throat when her voice came out weak. “Yeah,” she tried again. She clutched her hands in front of her and immediately dropped them to her sides, afraid she was giving herself away.

Jack opened the door wider. “Do you have a second?”

“Sure. Come on in.”

He stepped in, and her stomach fluttered with twinges of guilt and love. He looked so
good
with his black ball cap worn backwards. The white Ethan Cooke Security t-shirt and carpenter shorts accentuated his muscular build. He glanced at the bed and smiled at their daughter. “She’s out, huh?”

“Yeah, she was pretty tired. She had a fun day.” But they didn’t. Although she and Jack had cared for Livy together, and he had cheerfully reintroduced Alexa to many of the neighbors she met years before, hints of tension had marred an afternoon meant for celebrating the relaxing, carefree days of summer.

“I want to talk about earlier.”

“Okay.”

He closed the door. “Can we sit down?”

“Of course.”

They walked to the couch and each took a cushion. Alexa gave Jack a small smile, then glanced down. How would she look at him day after day after what she just did?

“Alex, I’m sorry about this morning.”

Her gaze flew to his. “Please, don’t apologize.”

“I lost my cool—”

She took his hand. “Please
don’t.” She could hardly stand listening to the regret in his voice. “It’s no big deal.”

He gave her hand a squeeze. “Yeah, it is. You were thinking of Abby. I know how much you want to help her. The way I handled things—it was knee-jerk, and I regret it.”

“I
have
to help my sister. Helping isn’t simply a want.” She desperately needed him to understand. “Any opportunity that presents itself… I have to do my part to bring her home.”

“You are doing your part.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No. I’m not doing nearly enough. After I saw her the other night… She was so close, and now she’s gone.”

“You’ve helped the authorities confirm a sighting from the bachelor party pictures. You helped me
find
her.”

“It’s not enough.” She stood, restless. “It will never be enough. No length is too far; no situation is too dangerous. I can’t rest until she’s standing here in front of me safe and whole again. How can I make you see? How can I make you feel this desperation I wake up with every day?”

“Alex—”

“No.” He was trying to appease her, and it couldn’t be done. “Sitting around waiting for everyone else to come up with answers… Depending on others—strangers no less… I’m used to taking care of her. I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember.” She paced back and forth. “Abby’s my responsibility. I took care of her when my mother was too drunk and depressed to take care of herself. Gran and I raised my sister together. Abby needs me more than ever and I’m not there for her.” She stopped at the window and stared out.

“Alex.” Jack’s solid arms enveloped her waist, and his chin settled on her head. “None of what’s happening to Abby is your fault.”

Instead of leaning back into his gesture of comfort, she held herself rigid. She didn’t deserve any of the kindness he offered.

He pulled her more tightly against him. “This isn’t your fault, Alex.”

She wrapped her fingers around his forearms, intending to free herself from his hold, but she slid her hands down until they rested on his, then leaned in to his chest. Despite her betrayal, she couldn’t walk away. “I should’ve done more. I should’ve done so much more. I didn’t pay enough attention to the van following us. I never gave it any thought. When I saw them driving behind us or pulling ahead on occasion, I just figured they were travelers heading in the same direction. If we would’ve kept going instead of stopping...”

“They would’ve taken her regardless. It was only a matter of time. They wanted Abby, and they were going to have her.”

“I didn’t even get a license plate number—a
license plate
number, Jack.” She closed her eyes as she huffed out a breath. Her ineptitude still made her angry. “Such a vital detail, and it never crossed my mind.”

“You were in shock.”

“I was shockingly stupid.”

“Stop.” He pressed his cheek to hers. “The information you
did
give Detective Canon linked Abby’s case to the others. If you hadn’t witnessed her abduction, we would have absolutely nothing to go on; besides, the kidnappers probably pulled off an exit or two up the road and moved Abby to a new vehicle altogether.”

“But that would’ve slowed them down.”

He shook his head. “Getting caught slows you down. This is an extremely organized operation. They weren’t going to let something as simple and identifiable as a license plate or van color fuck up their plans.”

She’d never thought of it that way, but then why would she? Her life revolved around the wants and needs of a three-year-old and her classroom full of first-graders. “Still.”

“Stop, Alex.” He turned her to face him. “I know Abby’s in a terrible situation, but we’re doing everything possible to get her out of it. He rested his forehead against hers.

“Jack.”

“Even though things are bad, I’m thankful they aren’t worse.”

“How can you say that?” She yanked away from his hold. “My sister’s being raped and God knows what else. It doesn’t get any worse than that.”

“You’re alive. Oliva’s alive. You’re both witnesses to a suspected multi-million dollar operation. They didn’t have to keep you that way.”

Alexa felt the blood drain from her face as she stared at him. “I guess I—I guess I never thought—I don’t want to think... I need to sit down.” She walked back to the couch on watery legs. Abby and Livy had been alone in the desolate parking lot for at least five minutes while she’d been in the bathroom. They could’ve hurt her baby while she’d been washing her hands and thinking her relaxing summer thoughts. “God, that makes me sick.” She clenched her hands at her sides. “Even after all the cruelty we’ve read about and seen, I never thought about… She was trapped in her car seat. She had no idea what was going on. She’s just a little girl.”

“They don’t care.” He sat beside her and put his arm around her. “They don’t give a damn about anything but their bottom line. That’s why I want you to stay out of this. The stakes are too high. These people aren’t messing around. Tucker’s friend is going to handle the website. She’s agreed to help us out. We officially have a decoy in place.”

“But it’s not a guarantee. The person we want has to take the bait. If two of us have accounts our odds will increase.”

“True, but the risks to you aren’t worth any of the odds. If they contact Miranda, they’ll want to meet her. That’s when a bust will go down.”

“You could help me. We could do it together.”

“No. We’re finished with this, Alex.”

“Abby deserves everything we can give her.”

“Agreed. That’s why Tucker contacted Miranda. I have absolute faith in her. She’s played this game hundreds of times before. Rounding up creeps on the internet is how she makes a living.”

Jack’s confidence in Tucker’s friend should’ve appeased her. “But—”

“I wouldn’t be able to stand it if anything happened to you, Alex.” He pulled her closer. “I can’t handle losing you now that I’ve found you again.”

She pressed her hand to his cheek. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him, to confess everything, but her sister’s desperate screams echoed through her head, and she stayed silent.

“I need to keep you safe. I love you.”

Oh, Jack
. She closed her eyes, unable to look into his.

He kissed her. “Are we okay?”

They were far from okay, but she nodded. “Yes, we’re okay.”
I’m so sorry
.

“What’s wrong?”

She opened her eyes. “I’m worried about Abby.”

He shook his head. “It’s more than that.”

“I want all of this to be over.”

“We’re getting closer. Tucker, Ethan, and I are definitely on to something.”

“I know.” Hopefully, so was she. It didn’t matter who crossed the finish line first as long as the end result was having Abby home.

“You should go to bed. You’re exhausted.”

“In a few minutes.”

“I can handle that.” He moved back, resting against the cushion, bringing her with him. “So did you have fun today?”

This wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. She wanted time to
think—
alone—about what she’d done, about what Jack had said. But none of it mattered. She planned to go ahead with her own decoy operation, no matter the risks. Sighing, she answered. “It was nice seeing everyone again. There were even more people here than the last time I came, and that’s saying something.”

He chuckled and shrugged. “What can I tell ya? Mom and dad like to entertain. But word might’ve spread that Alexa Harris was back—and so were her famous chocolate chip cookies.” He smiled, winked, and kissed her temple. “We won’t tell mom,” he whispered. “It might hurt her feelings.”

She gave him a weak smile.

“We should get to bed. It’s late. Olivia will be up bright and early.”

Alexa already knew she wouldn’t sleep well with her conscience weighing heavy. “Yes she will. She’s definitely a morning person.”

He chuckled. “Olivia’s a morning, afternoon, and evening person. She never slows down.”

“This is true.”

“Can I lay with you?”

“Uh, sure.” How could she deny him such a simple request?

He stood and held out his hand. “I’m beat.”

“I’m pretty tired myself.” She reached out and took his hand as they walked to bed. Alexa settled in as Jack stripped out of his t-shirt and shorts and got in on his side. They both moved closer to Livy, much like they did the night before. He took her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. “See you soon.”

“Good night.” She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the fear of what would happen if Jack discovered the truth.

“Your mother’s full of good ones. There’s a picnic basket in the fridge just waiting for someone to take it.”

“You’re the best.” He wrapped his mother in a bear hug.

She hugged him back. “And don’t you forget it.”

“Never could.” He eased away as the front door slammed. Alex came rushing out in khaki shorts and a white tank top.

“Sorry. I was on the phone with my boss. I need to say goodbye to Livy.” She breezed past Jackson and opened the door, unleashing the noise and commotion of their eager daughter. But as she bent down to their daughter, he noted the worry clouding her eyes.

“Mommy, I need to
go
. Grammy is talking and it’s taking so
long
.”

“I know you’re excited, but you have to be patient. Stay with Grammy and Grampy. Don’t let go of their hands. Make sure you—”

“She’s going to be fine, Alexa.” His mom patted Alex’s shoulder. “Try to enjoy yourself today.”

Alex nibbled her lip. “Maybe I should come with you. The aquarium is so big, and Livy is very busy…” She stopped and sighed. “I’m being overprotective. She’ll be all right.”