Forever (24 page)

Shield, shield, shield. Maybe it didn’t do any good. I did it anyway; they probably found my random thoughts distracting, if not annoying.

I waited until everyone else had food, then fixed myself a plate and a glass of wine and joined them on the patio. The sun was setting, and the light slanted in on us, but it was pleasantly warm with a cool breeze blowing. It would be a beautiful evening.

Except for some poor human, somewhere in Albuquerque. It would be a sucky evening for him or her, though I hoped Savhoran would keep it from being downright horrific.

I put that thought aside and settled in to eat, taking the chair next to Manda. Madóran and Caeran were subdued, though after a while Caeran started telling Madóran about the land, and they both cheered up a bit. They talked about how Madóran had built his own house—brick by adobe brick, apparently, over about half a century—and it sounded like Caeran was considering having the ælven build their own place on the new land.

It wouldn’t work. They didn’t know how, and even if they learned fast and spent untold fortunes on equipment, they wouldn’t be able to do the modern construction needed for the lab as fast as we wanted. The house could be hand-built, but it would take time and it would still have to pass an inspection, which it sounded like Caeran wanted to avoid. I was getting the impression he wanted to keep the lab compound off the grid as much as possible.

I decided not to point out the problems with that until later. There was enough stress in the air for now.

Madóran kept glancing toward the house, and when he was about halfway through his dinner he got up. “Len needs to eat.”

“So do you,” Manda said. “Sit down and finish.”

“But—”

“I’ll go. I’m done.”

And she was. She stood up, brandishing her empty plate, and went into the kitchen.

Madóran sat down and picked up his fork. His brow was furrowed, making him look tired. Caeran, sitting beyond him, caught my eye. I looked away and focused on my salad for a while.

Shield. And don’t think about anything.

Len came out with a plate of food and sat next to Caeran. They were silent, so I figured they were talking.

I realized I felt cold. Looking up, I saw that the sun had set. That fast, it was getting chilly.

I finished my salad, thought about getting seconds on pasta, then decided what I really wanted was a hot beverage. I stood, and Madóran looked up at me.

“Think I’ll make some tea,” I said. “Would you like some?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Want more to eat?”

“No. It was very good.”

I held out a hand for his plate and he gave it to me. Our hands didn’t touch, but I still felt a tingle. I went inside, put the kettle on, and puttered in the kitchen until it boiled.

Savhoran came in as I was pouring the water into the teapot. He looked weary.

“Tea?” I offered, and he nodded.

I took down mugs for everyone except Pirian. He might still have that mug of cold tea sitting there. I wasn’t going to look.

“You going out tonight?” I asked Savhoran quietly while we waited for the tea to steep.

“I think we must. He needs sustenance. His khi is better, but he is still weak.”

I nodded. Losing a mess of blood will do that to you.

I watched Savhoran, who seemed lost in thought. Not happy thoughts, from his expression.

“Is it going to work?”

He looked at me blankly.

“Ebonwatch. The clan.”

He sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Wish I could help.”

A smile ghosted across his face. “Thanks.”

“You need more members.”

The timer started beeping. I shut it off and took the infuser out of the teapot. Poured a mug of tea and handed it to Savhoran.

“But recruiting is a problem,” I added.

“Yes.”

“Would it be worth seeking out others? Do any of you have friends who....”

“Not here. Back in Europe, but finding them would be difficult.”

“They all left their clans?”

He gave me a direct look. “When you are struck by the curse, your clan does not want you.”

Ouch. I nodded in sympathy. He headed for the living room.

I carried tea out to Len and Caeran, then went back for the other two mugs. Madóran followed me in. My heart started beating faster.

I shielded, then dared a look at him as I handed him a mug. He sipped it cautiously. He still looked beat; even more so now.

Manda came in from the living room and set two mugs in the sink. “They’re going out now,” she said. “You could lie on the couch if you wanted, Madóran.”

“I thought I would rest a while in Len’s office.”

“There’s no bed in there,” I said. “Want to use Lomen’s room? I need to study, I can do that out here.”

He turned to me with a grateful smile. “If you don’t mind, that would be a great relief.”

I put down my tea. “I’ll just grab my laptop.”

Madóran followed me down the hall and stood sipping his tea while I gathered up my computer, earbuds, power supply. I heard the front door close and footsteps slowly going down the path to the street, where Manda’s car was parked. Finished collecting my stuff and headed for the hall.

Thank you, Steven.

I froze. It wasn’t that overwhelming intimacy that had blown me away before—in fact, I think he was being careful not to be too intimate—but just the contact itself made my heart leap. I had missed it, I realized; Lomen had spoiled me.

I swallowed.

Of course. I hope you get some good rest.

Madóran smiled as I went out. The door closed gently behind me, but a thread of contact remained. A gift, I realized.

I set up my computer in the dining nook. Manda was in her chair with her tablet, already studying. I heard Len and Caeran come in and start cleaning up the dinner dishes. The kettle whistled and immediately stopped.

Len brought me my tea, which I’d forgotten in the kitchen. I opened my biology homework and then sat staring at the screen, unable to focus. I put in my earbuds, but didn’t turn on any music. I was useless.

I tried not to think about what I’d rather be doing. Instead I sat pretty much thinking nothing, my mind wandering over all that had happened in the last few days, always returning to that tiny thread of khi connecting me with Madóran, fragile and precious. A treasure.

Did these people even realize how much he gave them? They all respected him, and I hadn’t exaggerated when I’d said they revered him. But did they remember all the gifts he gave them, large and small? Half the artwork and furniture in the house—and parts of the house itself—had been made by him. The ælven were all amazingly talented, but for multiple talent and sheer artistry, Madóran outshone them all.

I had to stop dwelling on it. There were no answers to my questions, or at least none that I could demand.

I drank some tea. It was already cooling. With an effort, I managed to finish three of my molecular biology problems before my brain refused to do any more.

I closed the laptop and took out my earbuds. Leaving them on the table, I took my tea to the kitchen to warm it up in the microwave. Caeran didn’t like using it; he said it disrupted khi. I suddenly believed him, because while it was running I couldn’t sense the connection with Madóran. I was afraid I’d lost it, but when the microwave shut off I found it again, and felt ridiculously relieved.

I took my tea out on the patio. It was full dark, now, but I didn’t bother to turn on the light. Easing into a chair, I wondered where the hunters were and whether they were continuing to negotiate.

Pirian was unpredictable, possibly unreliable. Part of me would be glad if he left, though I’d feel sorry for Savhoran. Pirian hadn’t been a great clan-brother for him, but he might be better than none.

Movement caught my eye; something jumped down into the yard from the wall at the back right corner. At first I thought it was a cat, then it rose and resolved into a human form.

No—not human. But definitely female.

I took a sharp breath.

Madóran—someone—

Blinding pain seared through my head.

M
y body went limp, out of my control. I heard my mug hit the concrete and shatter.

The female—the alben—was coming. I couldn’t move, but I could tell she was getting closer.

The pain in my head didn’t stop. There was something that should have helped, but I couldn’t concentrate enough to remember what it was.

Where is he?

Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. With it came her anger, impatience, and something more—arousal?

I was horrified.

She must not have expected an answer. She’d certainly made it impossible for me to give her one.

Fire crawled through my brain. There was something familiar about it, a nasty, prickling undertone that I’d felt before.

From Pirian, when he spoke to me.

The thought reminded me of what this alben had done to him, the mass of cuts on his chest.

I was going to die, I realized. In a very nasty way.

A loud bang behind me. The pain suddenly vanished.

I heard a grunt, masculine, and then another bang. Caeran’s voice called out in ælven, a command.

I saw the silhouette of the alben pause, maybe five yards away. So close!

Caeran strode into the yard. The alben shifted, then turned and ran staggering back the way she came. Caeran followed, but stopped as she went over the wall.

The air around him glowed. The buzz of khi was everywhere. I closed my eyes as a shudder went through me.

Steven.

I felt a shadow move beside me. Looked up at Madóran. He reached his hands toward me, then paused.

May I?

I nodded. He put his hands on either side of my head, and filled me with light.

Echoes of pain that I hadn’t known were still there faded. Warmth and love were all that I knew. Madóran’s healing spread through me, following paths I now realized the alben had blazed though my mind.

She had searched me, while I was helpless. Looking for Pirian.

Let me see.

For a moment I didn’t understand, then I realized Madóran was asking me to let go of a barrier I didn’t even know I had raised. I had to take a couple of deep breaths before I could relax enough to drop it. The warmth filled that last, frightened corner of me, the part of myself that I had instinctively protected.

You are becoming skilled at controlling your thoughts.

It was praise. I was too numb to respond.

Come inside.

Madóran took his hands from my head, only to offer them to help me stand. I felt shaky enough to be grateful.

Caeran came back and opened the kitchen door for us. Broken pottery crunched beneath my feet.

Never mind. We will deal with it later.

Madóran led me to Lomen’s room and gently urged me to lie on the bed. He sat beside me, taking my hand.

This should never have happened, Steven. Forgive our carelessness.

Not your fault.

We assumed that because she had fed, she would not be a danger to you. We were wrong.

I was having trouble stringing thoughts together. Shock?

Yes. Rest now. You will recover.

Don’t leave.

I won’t.

I closed my eyes and lay basking in Madóran’s khi. Stray thoughts flicked through me. Madóran had already been tired. What was this costing him?

The alben was looking for Pirian. Did he know?

Caeran came and had a short conversation with Madóran in ælven. I didn’t have the energy to be offended at being excluded. Ælven business; I probably couldn’t help even if I’d wanted to.

I was such a wimp. Totally useless. Couldn’t even defend myself.

Hush. No human can withstand such an attack. Many ælven could not.

I was still frightened, I realized. I wanted to cry in Madóran’s arms. Wow, crazy reaction!

Cry if you need to. It’s all right.

So kind. The tears came with that thought, quiet release flowing down my face, into my hair. I didn’t care.

I was safe. Alive, not about to die.

After a while my nose stuffed up and I had to blow it. Madóran helped me, then silently advised me to lie down again.

He stayed beside me, not talking, just there. Exactly what I needed. Now and then a wave of fear would go through me, and he would chase it away with a wave of healing. Gradually I relaxed, and drifted into sleep.

I was running. I had to be somewhere, and I was late, and there were alben after me, several of them. My dread increased with every step, but I couldn’t stop, and I couldn’t yell for help.

Steven. You are safe.

I gave a little gasp and opened my eyes. Soft light filled the room. Madóran had lit Lomen’s candle.

Forgive me for waking you.

No ... thank you. Bad dream.

My head ached. I sat up, and Madóran handed me a glass of water. I chugged it, then put a hand to my temple.

May I?

He took the glass and set it aside, then placed cool hands on my temples. I sighed with relief.

Did she … damage something?

No. It is the shock. Your body is unharmed.

Faculties a different issue. His hands fell away.

Mind-numbing fear was the problem. It was all too familiar. I’d been there before, years ago. High school bullies: adult bodies capable of killing, driven by adolescent minds. I shook my head to get rid of the memory.

No one should have to feel that way.

I met Madóran’s gaze and gave him a tired smile.
Thank you.

He reached up and brushed my hair back from my temple. A caress, this time.

Oh, sweet heaven.

I closed my eyes, which was maybe a mistake, because it made me aware of the pine/spice aroma in the room. No doubt he sensed my physical reaction.

The ache of desire overwhelmed all other feelings. I looked at him, reached up to touch his hair. I’d been wanting to do that since I first saw him. It was soft and fine, black as midnight.

He smiled, leaning into my touch a little. That did away with what was left of my self-control.

I kissed him hungrily. He answered, gentle and warm, accepting. Leaving me the lead.