Forest Spirit (2 page)

It had been three months since the day of the accident. Her body had mended – the broken leg and ribs, the smashed skull – but the scars in her mind remained, sensitive when nudged. And so, with the familiarity of the billabong – the birds, the animal sounds, the heady mixture of bush scents – the unwanted memories had come back, surging and boiling inside her.

She bent over once again, choking and spewing onto the ground.

She wiped her lips free of spit once again. ‘It sucks,' she said aloud. ‘It bloody well sucks! Why couldn't I have died with them? It's not fair. Everything's too hard now, too different.'

Without thinking, she picked up a rock and threw it, low and hard, into the water. The sudden splash caused the birds to scatter, half-running, half-flying, squawking across its surface. Jacana BiIlabong shivered as the ripples from the rock spiralled outward towards the shore.

‘Watcha doin' Jars?' She spun around, startled. It was Tom, the station hand; the cries of the birds had drowned out the sound of his arrival. He was on horseback, dressed in his work clothes – felt slouch hat, faded green denim shirt, jeans and riding boots.

Taking a deep breath, more to recover from her surprise than from her need for oxygen, she met Tom's eyes. ‘Nothing much, I just thought I'd come back again – to this place.'

‘How come yer chuckin' rocks at them birds? Always thought you liked 'em.'

He spoke in a matter-of-fact sort of way, a toneless drawl, not accusing but demanding. He wanted an answer. He took off his hat and wiped some sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. ‘Well? Why was ya?'

Jars shifted from one foot to the other. ‘I wasn't aiming
at
them. I just threw the rock 'cause I was – you know – pissed off.'

Tom adjusted his hat. ‘Okay, good enough. Letting off a bit of steam every now and then is okay, I guess.' He half turned and patted the horse's rump. ‘Anyhow, jump up. You're wanted back at the homestead.'

Jars, who was also wearing jeans and a felt hat, walked towards Tom and the horse. Once there, she gripped the saddle with both hands and hoisted herself up. She adjusted her hat then held Tom's waist for balance. ‘How come you're riding Nellie, Tom? The station ute broken down or something?'

Tom clicked the mare into a walk and, without turning, pointed towards the horizon. ‘Didn't you notice? Black clouds. Storm's comin'. Closin' in fast too. Wouldn't want to get bogged when that lot drops its bundle. Not when you have to get to the station. Urgent, Mr H. said.'

‘How do you mean, urgent?'

‘Don't know. Some woman wants to see ya.'

‘Yeah? Who is she?'

‘I don't know that either. All I know is I gotta fetch you back.'

‘Can't you give me a clue? I mean, what's she look like for a start?'

‘Hey, steady up. All I can say is she drove a flash lookin' four-wheel-drive. She looked official though, now I come to think of it. Dressed fancy-like.'

‘I wonder what she wants?'

Tom didn't answer. His eyes were on the dark clouds that were now approaching fast. He prodded the mare into a slow, steady canter. Jars leant forward and whispered into his ear, ‘Whatever she wants, it won't be good. I know that much.'

Half turning in the saddle, Tom met Jars' eyes. ‘Hey, that's enough of that kinda talk. I for one don't wanna hear it, so shut up and hang on.' He kicked his heels, urging the horse on. They rode in silence, each alone with their thoughts.

Who could she be? Jars wondered. I've never had visitors before. Not way out here. We're more than a hundred kilometres from the nearest town.

She shuddered, not liking the new queasiness that had crept into her belly.

Nellie let out a whinny, then snorted and sniffed the air. Tom leant forward and patted the side of her neck. ‘Steady old girl. We'll get you home safe and dry. You too Jars.' He turned to face her once again. ‘And settle down, will you. I can feel yer shakin' and shiverin' from 'ere.'

As if in answer, sheet lightning lit up the sky, followed by a low rumble of thunder.

Jars glanced upward. The clouds were almost overhead now, a mass of billowing blackness, quickly swallowing any pockets of blue left in the sky.

Then suddenly, as if on command, the familiar sounds of the bush faded – the cries of invisible birds, the occasional panicked rustle of lizards, even the breeze that had been twitching the grass and swaying the bushes had now grown still, its silence ominous, quiet as a whisper. Only the ants on the ground were busy, building dimpled shelters in the red earth.

Jars continued to wonder. What was brewing for her back at the homestead?

The screen door creaked as Jars pushed it open. She stepped into the living area of the homestead. It was a large room, with just a scattering of furniture – cane chairs, a long wooden table that served as a workdesk for Mr Henderson, and shelves, where books and magazines were both stacked and scattered at random. Immediately above, a ceiling fan, powered by the station generator, pulsed with a steady rhythm.

There were three people in the room. Mr and Mrs Henderson and the woman who wanted to see her. In hushed tones, the woman was talking to the Hendersons. They hadn't seen Jars, who remained standing near the doorway.

She took a deep breath and rubbed her hands on her jeans; a film of moisture had suddenly sprung to their surface.

She took a step forward just as the storm front hit. It struck with a fierce, howling gush, and with it came the lightning, jagged flashes that lit up the room. Thunder cracked and the liquid rhythm of the rain followed. Wiping her hands on her jeans once again, she walked with nervous steps towards the Hendersons and the woman who had come to see her.

‘Ah, Jars,' Mrs Henderson said, rising from her chair, ‘come and sit down. This lady is Ms Barnard, from the welfare department.'

Jars gave a slight nod, then walked towards a vacant chair; a trail of red dust fell on the polished wooden floorboards. Stealing a sideways glance at the stranger, a large, round woman dressed in a khaki uniform, Jars sat on the chair. She clasped her hands tightly on her shaking knees and waited.

A sheaf of papers sat on Ms Barnard's lap. Holding these in one hand and gripping the arm of the chair with the other, she raised her body as if about to stand. Then, as though the effort was too much, she sank back into the chair again. ‘Hello, Jacinta, my dear. How very nice to meet you.' She placed the papers back on her lap and reached for a cup and saucer from a side-table. She sipped, her little finger extended.

‘First of all,' Ms Barnard continued, her attention focused on Jars, ‘let me explain. I represent the Department of Children's Services. That is why I am here today.' Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, ‘And let me also say how sorry we are at the loss of your family in such a bizarre manner. Most regretful. My sincere sympathies, my dear. However, life must go on as the saying goes, and that, Jacinta, is why I wish to talk with you … about your future.'

Jars shifted forward in her chair. She did not like the official tone that droned from this stranger's lips, and there was something else – a sixth sense, unexplainable but somehow very real, like a jolt of electricity that now scraped her insides. At that moment, she knew. Her earlier feelings of disquiet had been true. Something was very wrong.

She glanced towards Mr and Mrs Henderson. Mr Henderson, still in his station work clothes, was fidgeting with his hat, swapping it from one hand to the other. He doesn't want to be here either, Jars thought. And neither does Mrs H.

She was sitting ruler straight, arms folded, frowning.

Ms Barnard leant forward. ‘Now, Jacinta my dear, the problem – and I must say again how sorry we are about these circumstances – is that you are now without any immediate family, not in mainland Australia anyway. The only relative we have been able to trace is your father's brother, who lives in a small town on the west coast of Tasmania: Cray Bay, it's called. He has a family, including a son who is your age, thirteen, and they have agreed to look after you, see to your schooling and so on. So,' she concluded, ‘let us be very grateful for that mercy.'

Jars, her natural shyness leaving her, sat upright, her brown eyes screaming. ‘What?' she said. ‘You mean leave Jacana Station, to live with strangers?' She looked directly into Ms Barnard's eyes. ‘No way. This is where I live. Not where you say I gotta go.' She turned to Mr and Mrs Henderson. ‘That's right Mrs H? Mr H? … Isn't it?'

Ms Barnard was the first to reply. ‘Now, now, my dear. Let us not be hasty. These people in, er, Cray Bay, are not strangers. They are your family. You will be much better off with them. Believe me, I know. For instance, there will be others of your age to mix with, which is impossible here, where there are no other children whatsoever.' She waved her hand in the air as if to emphasise the point. ‘I mean it's so remote here, hours from the nearest town. No, we must face facts. This has been discussed at the highest level within my organisation. You are, at present, decidedly disadvantaged, as I have outlined to you.' She shrugged her shoulders and opened the palms of her hands. ‘Now, I am sure you will agree that by relocating, you will have the chance of a new and exciting life, an opportunity to learn new things, see how other people live. Believe me, I know about these things. In fact I've seen dozens of cases similar to yours. So –'

Jars rose from the chair, not letting her finish. Hands on hips, she faced Ms Barnard. ‘That's crap. I like it here.' She choked a little and her eyes moistened. ‘I've always lived on the station. And I've always done okay with the Correspondence School lessons.' She looked towards the Hendersons, her eyes pleading. Both shook their heads in silence, as though utterly confused.

Jars stuck out her chin. ‘And I'm not just one of your so called “cases” either.'

Mr Henderson pushed himself from his chair and hurried towards his wife, who had also risen. He put an arm around her shoulder. ‘Look,' he said in a loud voice, any previous confusion now gone. ‘Jars is right.' He waved his hat in Ms Barnard's direction. ‘This is where Jars belongs. Marge and me are looking after her. Like we explained to you earlier, she lives with us now. She has her own room and the general run of the place. This is her home, not some far off place in Tasmania. Right Marge?'

Marge Henderson shook her head. ‘No, Gil, we have to think of the girl. I mean, what's to become of her here? Ms Barnard is right in what she says. She'll be far better off with her own kin.'

‘I know, Marge, but you know me. I might be a bit of a sop at the best of times, but the lass seems to belong here … with us.'

His wife shook her head once again and looked at her husband. Her silent stare said everything. Gil Henderson nodded. He understood. So did Jars. Her fate had been decided and there was nothing she could do about it.

Ms Barnard replaced her cup and saucer on the side-table and with some effort prised herself from the chair. ‘I beg your pardon? I'm afraid you've lost me.'

‘You'll have to forgive my husband, Ms Barnard, I'm afraid he is a big softy, but the truth is, we both know what's right for Jars, however hard that is.' She waved her hand in a sweeping gesture as though describing Jacana Station. ‘This has always been her home, but now I think it's time for a change.' She looked at her husband. ‘Right Gil?'

He nodded once again, knowing that his wife was right.

‘Yes, well, be that as it may,' the welfare lady said, her lips twisting into a crooked smile, ‘but what matters now is that Jacinta must make the move to Tasmania soon. Her plane leaves Darwin in three days. Schools over there have already started the September holidays, so, if she leaves immediately there will be time to adjust to her new community. She looked into the faces of the Hendersons and then across to Jars, who was now staring at the floor, defeated. ‘I will personally put her on the plane after she has acquired some new clothes in Darwin.' Ms Barnard looked Jars up and down, then sniffed. ‘She certainly can't be seen wearing those.'

Jars, who had remained statue-still, looked down at herself. Then, raising her eyes, she said, ‘So, it's been arranged already! The plane and everything. All this talk has just been a big waste of time.' She looked down and ran the back of her hand over her shirt and jeans. ‘And for your information, Ms Barnard, these are my everyday clothes.' Her voice quivered. ‘I've got some better stuff in my room, you know.' She said this with her fingers crossed. She knew it was not true.

Ignoring Jars, Ms Barnard continued, ‘She will be met by her new family at the Burnie airport. That's on the north coast of Tasmania. Jacinta will then be driven to her new home'.

Mr Henderson smiled knowingly. ‘I'll tell you one thing for nothing. Nobody will be going anywhere for a few days. The Wet Season has arrived. The creeks will flood for sure with this rain. And that's not mentioning the dirt track to the highway. That'll be a mess, impassable – even in that flash four-wheel-drive you've got parked out there. Nope, you're stuck here for a while, whether you like it or not.'