Foreign Affairs (25 page)

She need not think she was going to get any notions about herself as her brother had. Just because he was living in Dublin. Rachel wouldn’t be living in Dublin and, as long as she was
under his roof, she’d treat him with respect. No daughter of his was going to behave in such an offhand manner. William sat primly behind the wheel doing a sedate forty mph and felt very hard
done by indeed.

‘How did it go?’ Theresa was waiting to greet them. She had the lunch ready and Rachel was suddenly starving. It was steak and kidney pie, her favourite. Her mother
had cooked it as a special treat. And lemon pudding for dessert. Rachel could see the golden fluffy pudding on the dresser. Yummy, she thought as her stomach gurgled.

‘Oh Mam, it was OK, I think,’ she said excitedly as she hugged Theresa. ‘I met a very nice girl there called Pauline. She asked me to go for coffee with her but I
couldn’t, because of the lift.’

‘Your headache seems to have disappeared.’ William sniffed.

‘What headache?’ Theresa enquired as she began to dish up.

‘She had a headache on the way home and she couldn’t tell me how she did in the interview,’ William said huffily.

‘I told you, they asked me the questions you said they would and I gave them the answers you told me to,’ Rachel said.

‘That sounds fine to me,’ Theresa said placatingly. ‘Sit down, William, here’s your dinner.’

Rachel glowered at her father behind his back. Trust him to start.

‘Tell me about Pauline,’ her mother encouraged as she set Rachel’s steaming dinner in front of her.

Rachel forked some pastry and steak into her mouth. ‘This is scrumptious,’ she declared. ‘Pauline Hegarty is her name and she’s from Clonmel in Tipperary and she wants to
be a teacher because of the long holidays.’ She laughed.

Her father shot her a disapproving look. ‘Obviously a totally unsuitable candidate. If she were to say that at an interview, she certainly wouldn’t get a place.’

‘It was a joke,’ Rachel murmured. She wanted to say, Don’t be such a daft eejit, of course she’s not going to say that at an interview. Even if it is one of the reasons
why lots of people want to be teachers. But she didn’t say anything of the sort. As usual.

‘When would you be starting, if you do get a place?’ Theresa asked.

‘It starts in October. You do two degree subjects in first year as well as your primary subjects. So I think I’ll do English and geography. There are lots of societies to join as
well. I think I’d like to join the geography one, definitely,’ Rachel said between mouthfuls. ‘You’d go on field trips to see come lakes and evidence of glacial erosion and
things like that. It would be fascinating.’

‘They didn’t have any of that nonsense in my day. You went and did your studying out of textbooks. Those things are only an excuse for socializing and boozing.’ Her father
snorted.

‘Things have changed a lot since your day, William, and probably for the better.’ Theresa’s tone was a rebuke. William’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in
indignation and his cheeks reddened.

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about, Theresa,’ he snapped. ‘When I was there this morning, I heard young lads who’ve just done their Leaving Cert saying
they were going to the pub. I ask you? What kind of carry-on is that? Is it any wonder the country’s in the state it’s in? Young people don’t want to work these days.
They’ve no manners, no respect for their elders. Society is going to the dogs.’ Rachel and Theresa exchanged glances. Both sighed almost simultaneously. They had heard this diatribe
many times before.

‘The halls of residence look very modern,’ Rachel said cheerfully, hoping to side-track him. ‘You have your own bedroom cum study and you share a kitchen and bathroom with the
other people who live on your landing. The rooms are supposed to be very nice and you can decorate them any way you want. Can I bring my patchwork quilt with me when I’m going?’

‘Of course you can, love,’ Theresa agreed. ‘If you like I’ll even do you a new one.’

‘Just a minute there,’ William said sternly. ‘You won’t be going anywhere, Rachel, except home to your own bed at night. I don’t know where the two of you got the
idea that you were going to be living in a hall of residence. But it’s out of the question. You, Rachel, will commute.’

Rachel and her mother stared at each other in consternation.

‘But Daddy—’

‘But William—’

‘Enough.’ William put up his hand. ‘I don’t want to hear another word. Rachel lives here. There are plenty of buses from Bray. I’ll leave her over in the morning
and pick her up at night. And that’s my last word on the subject.’

Chapter Twenty-Three

Theresa stared at her husband. Anger, more violent than she had ever experienced, surged through her. ‘It might be your last word on the subject, William Stapleton, but
it certainly isn’t mine.’ Her voice shook. William, deeply offended by the venom in her tone, sat opening and closing his mouth. Rachel, shocked speechless by her father’s edict
and her mother’s uncharacteristic wrath, thought William looked like a turkey gobbling.

‘Sit down, Theresa, and don’t be upsetting yourself. I don’t want any arguments in this house,’ William ordered.

‘Don’t you?’ his wife fumed. ‘That’s your hard luck then, William, because you’re going to get one from me. For once in my life I’m not going to let you
dictate the law in this house. I have some say too, you know. I bore Rachel in my womb for nine months. I think that gives me far more right to make decisions about her than you’ll ever
have.’ She glared at him, her usually gentle brown eyes like two flints.

‘Have you gone completely out of your tree?’ Theresa raged. ‘What sense is there in dragging Rachel home every night of the week, stuck in traffic jams and the likes when she
could be studying away like everyone else from the country in one of those residential halls? It’s hard enough having to study without being exhausted from travelling. Think what it’s
going to be like in the cold winter mornings and the dark wet evenings.
You
won’t have to stand waiting for buses in the rain. You know, whether you like it or not, you’re
going to have to face the fact that our children have grown up. Why are you trying to deprive Rachel of the chance to make new friends and stand on her own two feet? I don’t understand you,
William, I really don’t,’ she finished angrily.

‘And I don’t understand
you
,’ William said heatedly. ‘I’m trying to protect our daughter. I’m trying to save her from the wildness of the youth of
today. The city’s no place for a young girl on her own—’

‘Rubbish!’ Theresa snorted. ‘Look at Jacinta Collins, gone to New York on her own and doing very well, according to her mother. Rachel’s only going to Dublin
and
she’s going to be living in supervised accommodation.’

‘Jacinta Collins’s mother
would
say that,’ William said curtly. ‘That argument doesn’t impress me. Don’t forget I’ll be giving up my time to
drive her to Bray to the bus or train. She won’t get wet in the car,’ he said scathingly. ‘I’ll have to leave the comfort of the house to go and pick her up in the evening.
But I’m not complaining. I’ll willingly do that to make life easier for Rachel. But I will not permit her to live in Dublin on her own. I let you persuade me, against my better
judgement, to allow Ronan to stay in digs and look at the state of him.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Theresa said furiously. ‘What state of him? Ronan’s a very good lad. He’s very attentive to his studies. He’s never caused us
one bit of worry. You’re talking through your hat, William, and you know it.’

‘I beg your pardon,’ William said coldly. ‘Look at the length of his hair! Look at the scruffy old army clothes and jeans he wears. He frequents public houses with that
Armstrong lad. He doesn’t come home half the weekends he’s supposed to. There’s always some excuse. Let me tell you, Theresa, I bitterly regret giving in to your pressure over our
son, but by God I won’t make the same mistake with Rachel.’

‘But Daddy, it’s not fair!’ Rachel was unable to contain herself any longer.

‘Be quiet and stay out of this, Rachel. It’s got nothing to do with you,’ her father ordered.

‘That’s the most stupid thing I ever heard in my life,’ Rachel said savagely. ‘Of course it’s got something to do with me. It’s my future you’re talking
about. I have the right to be consulted about what
I
want to do. The only reason I want to go to St Pat’s is to get away from Rathbarry. You wouldn’t let me apply to Aer
Lingus.
You
insisted I train as a teacher. Well if I’m going to train as a teacher I’m bloody well going to live in college,’ Rachel exploded, too furious to be
intimidated.

‘How dare you, Miss! How dare you speak to me like that, using such disgraceful language. How dare you issue ultimatums to me. Let me tell you, Rachel Stapleton, as long as I’m
paying for your education, and as long as you’re living under my roof, what I say goes. Such selfishness. You’d think at least that you’d consider your poor mother. You know she
isn’t well and yet you’re quite happy to take off to Dublin—’

‘By God, William, I won’t have it.’ Theresa was white with rage as she sprang up from her chair. ‘That is the most despicable thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t you
dare use me as an excuse to stop Rachel leading her own life. I’ll never forgive you for this as long as I live.’

‘I hate you, I fucking hate you,’ Rachel screamed at her father. Tears streamed down her face. She wanted to fling her plate of dinner at him. She wanted to pick up her knife and
stab him with it. All the years of pent-up anger, bitterness and resentment welled up and overflowed. ‘You’ve ruined my life, you’ve ruined my life. It’s all your
fault,’ she sobbed.

William was horrified. ‘Stop that! Stop that nonsense this minute, go to your room until you’ve composed yourself.’

‘Leave me alone and stop telling me what to do! Just leave me alone!’ Rachel screeched hysterically. Theresa gave a little gasp and went pale. She sank into her chair.

‘What’s wrong? What’s the matter, Theresa?’ William said sharply. ‘Rachel! Rachel! Help your mother.’ Rachel drew a shuddering sobbing breath and ran to
Theresa’s side. Her mother was gasping.

‘Mam, Mam! What’s wrong?’ she asked frantically. Her mother didn’t answer. Theresa’s eyes rolled in her head and she fell unconscious.

‘I hope you’re satisfied,’ William said harshly. ‘Now look what you’ve caused with your selfishness.’ He ran out to phone the doctor.

Oh God, please don’t let Mammy die, Rachel pleaded. I’ll stay at home and look after her. Please don’t let her die.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Theresa sat in the rocking-chair in her bedroom putting the finishing touches to Rachel’s ball gown. She felt tired. Ever since her heart attack a few weeks ago, she was
finding it hard to get back to normal. She took off her glasses to rest her eyes and stared out the window. It was late afternoon. The September sun was slanting westwards towards the hills. The
leaves on the oak trees in Daly’s garden had turned a deep red-gold. A faint breeze shook them to the ground, where they lay in crisp piles. Autumn had come early. The light filtered through
her yellow and white bedroom casting warm shadows on the faded wallpaper. A sunbeam danced on the colourful patchwork quilt. She usually found peace and tranquillity sitting in her chair looking
out over the goings-on in the village from her little eyrie. But not today.

Theresa felt terribly depressed. Rachel absolutely refused to leave her and go to Dublin to live. If she had not collapsed, Theresa was sure Rachel would have defied William. It was the first
time Rachel had ever stood up for herself. It should have been a turning point in her daughter’s life. Now she was even worse off than before. She’d never leave home as long as Theresa
needed her. Theresa had become even more of her daughter’s jailer than William.

Sadness overwhelmed her. She had so wanted Rachel to go to Dublin to spread her wings and enjoy her life. She wanted Rachel to do all the things she’d never done. Take the chances
she’d never been offered. To go dancing and partying. To have holidays abroad. To learn to drive. Especially to learn to drive. Being able to drive gave a woman such independence. She’d
asked William to teach her to drive once when the children were young. He wouldn’t hear of it and asked her why she wanted to learn to drive when he could drive her wherever she wanted to go.
Theresa hadn’t asked again.

It was different for women now. They were buying their own houses. Driving their own cars and going to the far corners of the earth on holidays and to work. They were edging up the career
ladders, and having babies and still continuing to work. The worm had turned and if Theresa couldn’t reap some of the benefits, she badly wanted Rachel to. She wanted her daughter to do as
much as she could and be as independent as she could. Rachel had had that chance. For one brief glorious moment it had been within her grasp. And then, her useless old mother had let her down. It
was a guilt Theresa knew she’d carry with her to the grave. Theresa had begged her to reconsider but Rachel wouldn’t budge. ‘I’m not leaving you, Mam, I’d always be
worrying. I’d much prefer to be with you. It’s nothing to do with
him
,’ she’d said earnestly.

‘Why didn’t You give her the chance You denied me?’ Theresa turned angrily to the statue of the Sacred Heart on the mantelpiece. ‘It wasn’t such a huge thing to
ask.’ She was very angry with God these days. Angry and bitter. Her prayers gave her no succour any more. She was even beginning to doubt His existence. There were so many vile deeds
happening in the world. So much violence. And not only in faraway places either. Every day on the news she heard of the troubles in the North, not much more than two hundred miles from where she
lived. Why did He allow drugs to scourge the minds and bodies of so many young people? Why did He let young children and babies starve to death in famine-ridden countries? And even in her own
little world, He caused grief. What had she done that was so dreadful that she’d been afflicted with a husband like William? True, he didn’t beat her or starve her and he was a good
provider. But he was a cruel man just the same, imposing his will on the family as if it was his right. And just when Rachel had needed her most, God had given her a heart attack.