Forced Out of the Darkness (25 page)

Monti picked up his phone
and tried reaching Cameron on his phone again. There was still no answer just
the voicemail. Frustrated, Monti punched the steering wheel of the Jeep causing
the horn to get stuck. Monti tried to get the horn to stop blowing but it was
jammed. He knew what he had to do. He popped the hood of the Jeep, got out of
the Jeep and took off the cables to the battery. The horn stopped blowing. He
stood there under the hood of the car defeated. He knew that if he did not talk
to Cameron tonight, it could mean that he’d be single again and would have lost
the best thing that happened to him in the past few years. Tears formed in his
eyes as he connected the cables back to the battery and closed the hood. He
could not move so he just stayed there in front of the Jeep hunched over in the
dark.

*  
*   *   *   *

Cameron stirred in his
sleep as he smelled the scent of a freshly extinguished candle. He looked up
and saw that he had fallen asleep with the candles lit. As he sat up in his
bed, he heard the sound of a horn blowing. He got out of his bed and went
towards the window to blow out the candles but the noise of the horn made him
curious. As he got closer to the windows Cameron knew that the sound of the
horn was right outside of his building. He looked outside the window and with
sleep in his eyes he thought he saw Monti’s Jeep outside. He wiped his eyes and
focused on the Jeep. He saw that the hood was up and there was a figure that
was standing underneath the hood. Cameron walked to the bathroom and grabbed
his bathrobe and headed down the two flights of stairs to see what was going
on.

As he got to the bottom
of the stairs, he looked out of the window and saw Monti facing away from him
hunched over the Jeep. “What is going on?” he thought as he opened the door. “Monti?”

Monti thought he was
hearing things as he looked up slightly. He scratched his head and heard his
name again this time a little louder. He turned around slowly to where the
voice was coming from. Out of the darkness of Cameron’s now opened front door,
emerged Cameron in his bathrobe.

“What is going on? Did
your Jeep break down?”

Monti walked towards
Cameron with relief on his face and embraced him right there in the night air. He
picked Cameron off of his feet and held him close. He did not say anything, he
just held him. As tears escaped his eyes and ran down his cheeks. Cameron was a
little bewildered and did not know what had happened to Monti since the last
time they spoke.

“Monti, what is wrong? Say
something.” Cameron said as he felt Monti’s tears on the back of his neck.

“Cam, I thought that I
lost you. I am sorry for what I did today. I could not let today go away
without telling you to your sexy face that I am sorry. I don’t want this
relationship to end because I did some stupid shit. I just told my mother that
if she didn’t accept me as a gay man and respect the man that I am with, I’d
keep her out of my life period. Can you please forgive me?”

“Monti, of course I
forgive you. I don’t like what happened and don’t like how it happened but I
forgive you. Can you forgive me for not being truthful to you? I wanted to do
something to surprise you, I just did not have time to do this before I got
home. You really told your mom that?”

“Of course I forgive
you.” Monti said. “I will work on this and I can promise you that I will not do
something like this again. We have to be in this thing to win it and I am going
to do my part to keep you happy and to support you in whatever way that I can.”

“Question for you…”

“Anything you want to
know.”

“Why are you out here
under the hood of your Jeep?”

Monti laughed. “Oh
yeah. I came to apologize to you and let you know how much of a fool I was. When
I got here I called you, but your phone went right to voicemail. I knocked on
the door and rang the buzzer but you did not answer the door. I came back to
the car and out of frustration, I hit the steering wheel and the horn got
stuck. I had to unhook the cables from the battery so that it would stop.”

“Oh, so that is why you
were under the hood when I looked out of the window upstairs.”

“Yeah, that’s what
happened.”

“Come on in.”

Once inside, the two of
them talked about the situation and both made commitments to keep the lines of
communication open. Cameron then asked Monti, “Can I ask you a personal
question?”

“Sure, you can ask me
anything.”

“What happened to you
in your past relationships that make you harbor such insecurities?”

“Hummm…well the last
few people that I dated were not faithful to me. They all cheated on me.”

“Who…your wife or the
guys that you have dated?”

“All of them.” Monti
said. Cameron could see the hurt that came across his face so he reached out
and held Monti’s hand.

“Did you do anything to
provoke these actions?”

“No, what do you mean?”

“People don’t just cheat
for the sport of it. Most people don’t. There are generally some underlying
reasons for it.” Cameron explained.

“I have heard that
before.” Monti admitted.

“Monti, men cheat for a
few reasons. They cheat because they do not wish to be fully involved with the
person that they are with currently. They cheat because they want to know that
they still got it. Sometimes they cheat because they were cheated on or if
there is a lack of sex in their relationship. You have to be able to keep the
spice in the bedroom and the communication open.”

“I did keep all that
going. They just weren’t relationship material.”

“If they weren’t
relationship material, what does that say about you? These types of people are
what you have been attracting?”

“You may have a point,
maybe it was my fault I don’t know. What I do know is that they hurt me and I
don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

“You have to realize
that I am not any of your exes. It is unfair to me and our relationship that
you are comparing what others did to you to what we have now. It is also unfair
to you that you are allowing your past baggage to stop you from enjoying a good
and healthy relationship now.”

“I know…that is why I
kept telling you that I had some issues that I had to work on.”

“In order for you to be
able to address those things you have to expose them for what they are. Only
when you are completely open and vulnerable will you be able to address
everything.”

“I don’t know if I am
ready to do that right now.”

“You should be trying
to move towards being whole because you are setting us up for failure if you
are not able to be transparent and true.”

“I don’t even know how
to start.”

“Where did your
insecurities and feelings of inadequacies start? What happened to you as a kid
or as a teenager that opened the door for you to get to this place?”

“My relationship with
my dad.”

Monti shared with
Cameron how he always wanted to please his dad and how it seemed that nothing he
did was good enough for his dad. He did not get reassured by his father and
since then, he had been seeking reassurance by people in his life. The two of
them were able to have a semi-honest conversation. Monti was not able to share
his private moments in the bookstores and in the park. He felt that this was a
first step that he had taken in the direction of being whole. He sincerely
wanted to address all his issues and he felt comfortable talking to Cameron but
not completely ready to tell about the times that he had stepped out of their
relationship. They talked until they both fell asleep on Cameron’s couch, where
they first slept together.

The next morning Monti
woke up at 4:00 am. He gave Cameron a kiss on his forehead as he tipped down
the stairs. He had to get to his house and get ready for work. They had a good
talk and Monti was confident that he had salvaged the relationship. He knew
that he was on thin ice and he knew he had to keep on the straight and narrow.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Merging Two Worlds

It had been a week
since Cameron and Monti made up. They were doing well and every day Monti
brought more clothes and items from his place to Cameron’s. They decided that
they wanted to make more of a significant relationship. Monti’s lease was
coming up and it made more sense to consolidate their finances. They were
finding ways in which their items would be intermingled in Cameron’s townhouse.
Cameron made room in the walk in closet for Monti’s main clothes. He cleared
out the room on the first floor for Monti’s workout equipment and more
clothing. They were also spending more and more time together.

Cameron was out
shopping when he stopped at a furniture store and fell in love with a bar. He
wanted that in the house by the holiday so he purchased it, and scheduled the
furniture company to deliver the bar and set it up in two days. He called Monti
and after work the two of them went to the liquor store near Cameron’s house
and purchased enough liquor to fill up the bar. Cameron always wanted to have a
fully stocked bar but never took the time to buy one. Now that he had one
coming he wanted to put it to good use real soon. They had purchased the anchor
liquors like Vodka, Rum, Gin and Tequila. They bought both top shelf liquor and
then mixer type. They bought cordials like Baileys, Kahlua, and Cointreau. They
made sure to pick up some Sangria glasses and a glass vase for presentation. Working
with the airline, Cameron was well trained in the art of presentation.

“Did you want to invite
someone over the house for the holiday? We are going to have enough food for a
couple more people if you want to invite someone.”

“I can see if my boy
Dee is doing anything.”

“Cool, it will be nice
getting to know some of your friends.”

“I’ll call him today
and see.”

Cameron still wanted to
meet Monti’s friends. He had met his children who were nice. His mother was
someone that Cameron wanted to avoid. He knew that she did not agree with their
relationship; however his relationship was with Monti and not Mrs. Burroughs. She
did not have to come to his house nor did she have to agree or bless the
relationship. Cameron was not ashamed of the relationship but he did not have
to be subjected to the hypocritical beliefs of the black church upbringing that
Mrs. Burroughs represented.

Cameron grew up in the
church but still had issues with how the church dealt with issues like
homosexuality, which caused him to cultivate his own relationship with God
outside of the Church. Cameron was a good person and loved God. He had a
relationship with God and the God that he served was not a God of hatred and
nastiness. He served a loving God and he wanted to make sure that people who
saw him could see the God in him.

Monti was also an
active member in his church and was well known throughout the congregation. Though
he continued to attend his current church, after talking to Cameron, he decided
to remove himself from the praise team and other prominent positions in the
church for ‘personal reasons’. He needed to be a general lay member while he
worked on his issues. His pastor didn’t want him to step down but respected his
wish that he needed time. Cameron and Monti were both on spiritual journeys but
they kept their religious practices separate from each other. Would they both
have the spiritual strength to withstand the hidden secrets that Monti held?

Chapter
Thirty-Four

Let the Game Begin

On the Thursday before
Labor Day, Monti was headed back to his office when he was stopped by one of
his employees.

“Hi, Mr. Burroughs how
are you doing?”

“I am doing well Wilma.
What about you?”

“I am well. I am
excited about this weekend. My family meets every other year for a family
reunion on Labor Day. This year it is going to be at Belle Isle. I was
wondering if I could leave about an hour early so that I can go and check on
the hall that we rented this year.”

“Sure. The only thing I
need for you to do before you leave is brief me on what needs to be passed on
to the second shift.”

“No problem, Mr.
Burroughs. Thank you very much.” She said as she turned to walk away. “Oh, yes.
Mr. Burroughs. I am sorry I was so excited that I forgot to give this to you.” She
handed Monti a manila envelope.

“What is this?” Monti
questioned.

“I don’t know. A man
asked me if I knew who you were. I told him that you were my supervisor. He
told me to give you this. He said it was something very important and that you
would want to see it.”

“Do you know who this
man was?”

“No, I have never seen
him here before.”

“What did he look
like?”