Forbidden (The Preternaturals) (11 page)

“Do you want absolution, Angeline?”

“I know that you’ll never…”

“Answer me.”

“You know I do.”

“Even if the penance is difficult?”

Angeline nodded. He released her and went back to the chair, and she could
finally breathe. When she turned around, he was studying her again.
She couldn’t decide what his new mood was about. He’d hated her
from the moment she’d turned him. It was disconcerting to see this
sudden change. She didn’t trust it.

Something about him still frightened her. She knew he couldn’t hurt her. As
an angel there was nothing that could hurt her, except a higher-level
angel. And yet, it was so easy to forget all of that while captured
in his dark gaze, his punishing grip, the hard lines of his face that
said he would never waver in his judgment.

“If I’m to avoid Anthony, I’ll need to stay indoors for a while. You
will give me your blood until I decide I’ve had enough. Even if the
threat to me has passed. In time, I may choose to forgive you.”

Of course, that would be what he wanted. He had no idea the risk he
asked her to take on. For an angel to lower herself to feed a
vampire… It wasn’t done. Her hand rose to her throat where he’d
bitten her.

“Too much for you little angel?”

“N-no. It’s not too much.” She didn’t think there was anything he
could ask for that she wouldn’t give him. He was her loose end, the
one sin that couldn’t lay buried in the past. She wasn’t sure
she’d ever forgive herself for doing exactly as Linus had done to
her. Even if Hadrian never forgave her, she’d feed him as long as
he wanted her.

His eyes lit with malice she hadn’t seen since her sire, and she took a
step back. The night she’d met Father Hadrian, she’d sensed the
darkness in him, the darkness that would echo hers. He’d been her
perfect match. But now she searched, hoping for bits of goodness
instead.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
He’s not Linus. Even if
he were, no one can hurt you now.
She felt the tingle of her
wings inside her back, reminding her of the power she had now. She
was safe. Everything would be okay.

When she opened her eyes, he still watched her.

“Undress and lie down in the bed. I want you to sleep here tonight. I don’t
sleep until the sun rises.”

“I…” He was messing with her mind, pushing to see how vulnerable she’d
allow herself to be around him. Linus had played those games, too.
Only he’d hurt her every time she’d shown the least hint of
weakness, whenever she’d offered the smallest amount of open trust.

Hadrian turned away. “I won’t watch you. I won’t touch you.”

It wasn’t as if he could hurt her, at least not while she was
conscious.

“I can’t miss prayers. I’ll be in trouble if I’m not back in
time.”

“They keep you on a tight leash up there, don’t they?”

“Y-yes.”

“Mine would be tighter. I’ll wake you in a couple of hours.”

It was an order not a request, and he expected that she would do as he
said. His back was still to her. She didn’t know why she unbuttoned
the dress and removed her corset and panties. When she’d slipped
under the covers he crossed to the bed.

She tensed.
He can’t hurt you if you don’t fall asleep.

Hadrian tilted his head to the side as he watched her lying under the
blankets. “What do angels eat?”

“L-light.”

“Of course they do. And here you are in the dark with a vampire.”

She watched, tense as he ran his fingers over the corset that she’d
draped over the small chair beside the bed. Even though the piece of
clothing wasn’t on her body, the caress seemed to burn her skin.

“Why do you wear these?”

Her blood must be top grade for him to take this sudden interest in her.
A few hours ago the only words he’d had for her were “leave”
and “go away, stalker.”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Is that what I asked?”

She could bring her wings out at any time and send him hurtling across
the room. He was no match for her. He had to know that. He couldn’t
make her do anything she didn’t want to do. And yet, all it took
was for the command to fall from his lips, and she was ready to talk,
to give him whatever he wanted. Was it the guilt, or was it him?
Something about Hadrian felt like those corsets. Constricting, but
somehow still ultimately safe. Though his darker side had taken over,
she hadn’t eradicated his goodness when she’d turned him, she
could still feel it in there.

“Linus used to make me wear them after he’d turned me. They were in
fashion in Europe at the time, but it was more about control for him.
It became a fetish.”

“But you hated him. You told me you escaped him.”

“I know. I can’t explain it. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t have wanted
to wear them after Linus.”

“They make you feel protected.”

“It sounds even crazier when
you
say it.”

“Indeed.” He turned back to the ivory corset. “You can’t wear the regular
ones anymore?”

“My wings would mess them up.”

He turned back to her and she shuddered when his hand cupped her face.
“And if you didn’t have to use your wings? Could you wear them
then?”

“Y-yes.”

“It’s a pity you don’t have any.”

“I have a collection hidden in my closet.”
What are you doing, Angeline?

“When you return tomorrow night, you will bring them.”

Chapter Three

Angeline pushed past the golden gates, straightening her dress for the
thousandth time. True to his word, Hadrian hadn’t touched her when
she’d lain in his bed. She couldn’t understand why she’d even
done it. It wasn’t as if she should trust him when he’d expressed
clearly how much he hated her. And yet, she did trust him. She’d
trusted him to let her sleep unmolested in his bed. She’d trusted
him not to lock her away somewhere or harm her when her defenses were
down.

He’d woken her in plenty of time to get ready and return to Heaven.
She’d been afraid that on waking, he’d be back to wanting rid of
her, but from the moment his fangs had been inside her throat, his
manner had shifted. She ran her fingertips over her throat again, but
of course there was no mark, no scar. They wouldn’t know. How could
they?

Don’t be foolish, Angeline. They could easily find out.
If she got
under their radar, they could watch her when she was on the human
plane the same way she could watch Hadrian. On the screens. Perhaps
she should have questioned the surveillance before now. It had seemed
necessary before. How else could you watch your charges to protect
them? What good was an angel who couldn’t protect anyone? But now
the screens felt ominous and stifling.

She bumped into Rodolfo on the way to prayers.

“So glad you could join us. And on time,” he said.

She tried to smile, but she didn’t like him under the best of
conditions, and right now, when she felt she should have a black mist
clinging to her to give her sins away, she liked him even less.

He gave her an assessing once-over. “Something seems different about
you. Your aura… it feels… off somehow. Did you get enough light
yesterday?”

“I-I’m not sure. Maybe not. I’ll be more careful.”

Rodolfo looked at her hard for another good minute, as if he would be able to
see the vampire’s fingerprints on her if he just looked long
enough. She knew he didn’t care if she was absorbing enough light.
He suspected something. And if she didn’t play it off convincingly,
she’d be in worlds of trouble.

He nodded. “See that you do. We may have an assignment for you, soon.
We’ll need you in top form.”

An assignment? Now she knew he suspected something. The only reason they
would give her an assignment after the last one she messed up was if
they just wanted to keep her busy. She excused herself and moved into
the prayer circle.

“Hey, Angeline. Whoa… you look different.”

She’d felt it building before with Rodolfo, but now she knew she was
flushed. She turned to the warrior angel and tried for an innocent
smile. “I’m fine, Kurt. It’s nothing.”

But he wasn’t buying it. His eyes lit with something almost carnal, as
if he could somehow know the only thing covering her bare form only
hours before had been the sheets on Father Hadrian’s bed.

A group of angels joined them and formed a circle. They held hands and
began to chant and pray. A large, radiant ball of light rose above
them. Wings came out, and they absorbed the power of the light as
their prayers became louder and stronger. This went on for an
indeterminate amount of time until they fell silent as if by some
internal cue. Then they laid out in the lush green grass and floated
on the high from the energy they’d raised together.

Kurt’s hand brushed hers in the grass. “Angeline,” he whispered.

“Hmmm?”

“What’s with you today? Seriously, you’re different.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m the same as I always was.” She tried to brush him
off, but her voice sounded shrill even to her own ears.

His fingertips brushed over the back of her hand again, lingering this
time.

“What are you doing?” she asked. Kurt was beautiful. All the warrior
angels were, but that wasn’t the point. They didn’t touch each
other at all. Except during prayers.

“Nothing. I’m not doing anything.”

But he was still touching her. She pulled away and stood to leave the
circle, hoping it didn’t look abrupt or suspicious when she already
needed to tread carefully with Rodolfo nearby.

“It’s just… you’re different,” he said.

“Yes, you said that.” Between Rodolfo making the comment about her aura,
and Kurt not being able to keep from touching her, she was sure that
letting Hadrian feed from her had caused some fundamental change in
her angel essence. Something carnal and unspeakable, and she wasn’t
sure how long she would be able to hide it or how lasting the effects
might be. If she was smart, she knew she would avoid Hadrian and
never return to
Our Lady of Mercy
.

Rodolfo approached them. “Kurt, I need to speak with you.”

“Sure, boss.”

Kurt got up, all business now, and followed Rodolfo into a nearby chapel.
Rodolfo hadn’t paid her any attention, and Kurt had seemed to
forget about her and whatever he sensed from her essence as well.

Still. With the weird way Kurt had behaved, she was afraid he’d say
something to the other angel. She nonchalantly wandered to the chapel
and went to the back to stand near an open window so she could hear
them.

“Kurt, we’ll need you to meet with the rest of the warrior class and the
council in a few hours. The man upstairs has been notified of the
situation developing on the human plane.”

“Cain wants us to fight with him to subdue the humans.”

Rodolfo let out a full-throated laugh. “As if we would ever join with a
demon. No, the man upstairs wants us to end this thing now. If the
humans are planning a war and gathering magic users on their side, it
will be easier for us to defeat the demons, vampires, and the fallen
angels while they’re distracted by the larger fight.”

“And what about the shifters? The therians?”

“If they’re smart, they’ll fight with us. They won’t wish to be on
the losing side. After all, the prophecies say…”

Angeline zoned out from Rodolfo’s prophetic rambling. In all her time in
Heaven she’d never seen God. They didn’t even call him God. They
called him “the man upstairs”. She still couldn’t determine if
this label was a joke, or if the word God was too sacred to say.
Either way, she’d never met him. It was always Rodolfo or another
of the higher-ups who would come down with some supposed message from
him or some order that they all must follow.

In moments of minor rebellious thought, she’d wondered if there even
was a god behind the curtain at all. There had to be, but if he was
there, he didn’t hold court with the lesser angels. What the hell
did he even do all the time? As far as she knew, he wasn’t
“upstairs” anywhere. There was a mountain range the lower-level
angels were forbidden to cross, and it was said that he lived in
those mountains.

She crouched behind a fat, bushy tree as the door to the chapel opened
and the two angels left. When they were gone, she retreated to her
home, wishing her door had a lock. It felt dangerous to have secret
things in her closet. She was sure there was no rule against her
black and red corsets, but there would definitely be questions if
someone ever saw them. After all, why would she have them? What
purpose did they serve? And those colors… far too inappropriate for
an angel to ever wear. It was white and pastels for them. Anything
else was looked on with suspicion.

Angeline dug through the back of the closet until she came out with a large
white carpetbag. She carefully removed each of the darker corsets
from the closet and put them in the bag. They were too risky to keep
here. If they were found, that combined with the reactions Kurt and
Rodolfo had to her would only bring her danger. After a moment’s
hesitation, she slipped one of the lower-backed ivory corsets into
the bag as well.

She wasn’t packing them up because Hadrian had asked her to. That would
be weird and ridiculous.

***

Hadrian smelled her even before she pushed the door open to his church. Angel
blood. Angeline’s blood. He hadn’t expected her to come back,
even though she’d promised. How could absolution from him be so
important to her?

She had a direct line to God, didn’t she? Up there in sparkling Heaven?
How could a vampire’s forgiveness mean anything to her in light of
what she had?

“F-Father Hadrian?”

He stood in the center of the aisle, watching as the door creaked open
the slightest fraction, and then the rest of the way as she slipped
inside. She carried a large bag with her and wore a long shimmering
white cloak with a hood over her dress. Bits of golden thread had
been woven into the fabric so that she glittered when she moved.