Forbidden Sister (14 page)

But I did go to sleep thinking and dreaming about Evan. Perhaps I was on the doorstep of real love. Could it really happen this quickly? I wanted to believe it, but I had the feeling that if Roxy were there with me and I had told her all of this, she would smirk and say, “Relax, sis. This is just your first romance. You haven’t experienced anything like it, so you don’t know exactly how to act and think.”

“Does it get better?” I would ask her.

“Better? Sure. It’s like anything else you enjoy. The more you do it, the better it becomes.”

“But didn’t you ever love anyone more than anyone else, Roxy?”

She just would look at me. And then she would slowly disappear with the question still ringing in her ears.

I fell asleep before she could return, and once again, I was up before Papa in the morning. He looked surprised but also still groggy, which was unusual for him. I had the feeling my enthusiasm was a little too much for him this time.

“Watch yourself,” he told me, as if he believed I was already so lovesick I might be careless crossing the street.

It was true that there was more of a bounce in my steps as I hurried to school. I anticipated that Evan would be waiting for me near my locker. I know I was at school earlier than necessary, but I was hoping he would have the same enthusiasm and be there, too.

He wasn’t. Students began arriving in large groups, their voices loud, their gestures overly dramatic. I had my books and was slowly making my way to homeroom, looking everywhere as I walked, hoping to see Evan. I lingered as long as I could and then thought that maybe the excitement about his father running for Congress had overflowed. Maybe he had to be somewhere to take pictures with his mother and father. All sorts of possibilities streamed through my brain.

I saw Chastity arrive. She was almost late. I waved to her, but she either didn’t see me or ignored me and joined Carol Lee Benson and Dawn Miller as they rushed to their lockers to get their things before the warning bell rang. A sudden cloud of dark disappointment rushed over me. It was like a blanket being thrown over a fire to smother it. I had my head down as I approached the doorway to
my homeroom. Just before I entered, I felt a hand on my right elbow and turned to see Evan. He was like Superman swooping down to pull me up out of a pool of depression.

“I thought you weren’t coming to school or something,” I said, rushing my words, realizing the bell was going to ring any moment. “I thought there was some sort of family political thing you forgot to mention.”

“No, nothing like that yet,” he said, but he didn’t smile.

“What’s wrong? You look like you just lost your best friend or something.”

“Maybe I did. Don’t go to the cafeteria for lunch. Meet me at the west entrance. We need to talk,” he said, and the bell rang.

“But why—”

Before I could add another word, he turned and hurried to his corridor. Chastity, Carol Lee, and Dawn came up behind me.

“See that look on Evan’s face? What did you do, tell him you’re pregnant?” Dawn asked, and to my surprise, Chastity joined in the laughter.

I gave her a cold look and then walked into homeroom and went to my desk. My heart was thumping like a blown tire on the highway. I kept my eyes forward, listened to the announcements, and said nothing to anyone until the bell for class rang. Chastity hurried out ahead of me. She even joined Cathy Starling.

What’s with her?
I wondered. Suddenly, she was best friends with those girls? Cathy Starling, who
compared her to a blimp? I didn’t rush to catch up. Chastity never looked back for me, either.

When we sat at our desks in our first class, Chastity leaned over to whisper, “How was your day in the park?”

“It was very nice,” I said. “We went to the—”

“I’m glad for you,” she said, interrupting, and then turned around to talk to Carol Lee.

It was the same during all of my morning classes. Chastity and the other girls were always whispering behind my back or even directly in front of me, and Chastity did her best to avoid me as much as possible. It caused me to lose my concentration, and Mr. Kendal bawled me out in math class for not hearing his question and not paying attention. By the time I finished my last class of the morning, I felt like bursting into tears. The only thing that buoyed me was knowing that I was going to meet up with Evan. He was waiting at the west entrance. I smiled and hurried to him.

“Let’s go outside,” he said, opening the door.

I followed him out, and he walked down the path that went around the building. There was a low cement barrier between our school and another building. He sat on it and looked up at me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“My mother got a call last night from Carol Lee Benson’s mother. They go to a Pilates class together.”

“So?”

“Seems somebody told Carol Lee that you have an older sister,” he said. “Not an adopted older sister and not a half sister, either.”

It was as if I could feel my heart drop into my stomach.

“And it seems she’s a prostitute, a famous prostitute.”

“She’s not famous,” I said. It was all I could think to say.

“She has a French name, something about a flower?”

“Fleur du Coeur. Flower of the heart.”

“So it’s all true? Your sister’s a whore?”

“They call it an escort,” I said so dryly that it sounded as if I was talking in a tunnel.

“Why didn’t you tell me this? Why did you pretend you were an only child? I even asked you what it was like to be an only child. And your father’s such a . . . correct, spit-and-polish man. What an act.”

“He’s not acting. That’s how he really is. I didn’t lie about him. His father, my grandfather, is a real Army general, and he was brought up—”

“And has a prostitute for a daughter?”

“You don’t understand. My sister left our family when she was young. My father threw her out, actually, and . . . I can’t even mention her name in front of him now.”

“But you know her? You want to be friends with her?”

How easy it would be for me to say no, but I didn’t need someone to tell me where lying got you. Evan’s face said enough.

“I want to know her, yes. I haven’t seen her or spoken to her for nearly ten years, Evan.”

“Why would you want to know a prostitute? And why did you lie to me?”

The tears were trapped under my eyelids. I took a deep breath, hoping to suck them back, but they kept coming until they started to flow.

“It wasn’t that I was lying to you, exactly. It’s the way it is. We don’t talk about her, so—”

“But you’re trying to get to know her, be with her?”

I took another deep breath. How could I explain this quickly? It took me years to understand what it was I wanted from Roxy, what it was I needed from her.

“She’s still my sister” was all I could think of saying.

He got up. “My mother was really hyper about it,” he said. “You know, with my father running for Congress and all. I told them I didn’t know any of this, but that only made matters worse. I can’t bring you to my house now.”

“Oh,” I said. It was more like a gasp.

“And for the time being, I promised I wouldn’t see you. They’re terrified that some reporter will find out I’m seeing a girl whose sister is a famous prostitute in New York. That’s how politics is now,” he added. He looked at my devastated face. “If you had only told me, I might have come up with something.”

“But she’s not part of our family anymore,” I protested.

He shrugged. “She’s your sister. She’ll always be part of your family,” he said. “That’s what blood means,” he added, and started away.

I watched him go. And then I called after him, even though I knew he was too far away to hear.

“You don’t know it, Evan, but you just answered your own question about why I wanted to see and talk to Roxy.

“That’s what blood means.”

Of course, it wasn’t hard to figure out where this all came from. When I entered the cafeteria, I saw Chastity immediately turn toward me. There was a look of great satisfaction on her face. She wasn’t smiling, exactly, but I could see the pleasure in her eyes. All of the girls at her table stopped talking to look my way. I heard their laughter spreading to nearby tables, rippling through the faces and over the lips of the girls in my class. More students stopped talking to look at me. I could feel the heat come into my face. In fact, the whole cafeteria seemed to go up twenty degrees.

I started toward the lunch line, then stopped and quickly walked out. The way my stomach was churning and churning, I couldn’t dare put any food in it. It would just come back up, and the thought of regurgitating in front of my classmates, especially the girls who were already enjoying a good laugh at my expense, was terrifying.

I went directly to the nurse’s office and told her I was feeling very nauseated. She had me lie down and took my temperature. I wasn’t running a fever, but it wasn’t
difficult for her to see that I was in no condition to continue with my classes.

“I’ll let your mother know,” she said.

“I could just walk home, Mrs. Morris,” I said, but she wouldn’t hear of it.

“There are insurance regulations,” she explained. “I can’t simply turn you out on the street.”

That expression made me wince. Wasn’t that what my father had done, turn Roxy out on the street? What were his insurance obligations? Mrs. Morris put a cool cloth on my forehead, and I closed my eyes to wait for Mama. Now I was really feeling terrible. She would surely come in a bit of a panic. I hoped she wouldn’t call Papa.

I nearly fell asleep, but when she came into the nurse’s office, my eyes popped open as I felt her hand on my forehead.

“I’ve taken her temperature. She has no fever. If it’s a virus, there might not be a fever,” Mrs. Morris told her. “How are you now, Emmie?”

“Better,” I said. “Just tired.”

“I have a taxi outside,” Mama said.

“I could walk home, Mama.”

“Get your things,” she said firmly. There would be no discussion about it.

“Don’t worry about your schoolwork. I’ll inform your teachers, Emmie,” Mrs. Morris told me.

I picked up my books and followed Mama out. She put her hand on my shoulder to stop me as soon as we were alone.

“What is it, Emmie?” she asked. “Why aren’t you feeling well?”

I shook my head, but my tears were determined to run freely down my cheeks. She moved me along faster. I didn’t look back when I heard the bell to change classes. Moments later, we were in the taxi and on our way home. I curled up against the rear door and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to talk.

Mama was too good at reading me, anyway. The moment we entered the house, she stopped and turned to me. “Something happened between you and Evan Styles? Is that it?”

I nodded. There was no point in trying to come up with a false reason.

“What?” she asked.

“He found out about Roxy,” I said, and hurried up to my bedroom. When I got there, I threw myself facedown on the bed. I heard her behind me.

“I don’t understand, Emmie. Why should that matter to him?”

I turned and looked at her. “I never told him about her.”

“Of course not. I understand.”

“My best friend apparently told the other girls, and one of the mothers called his mother to tell her. His father is running for Congress, remember? No scandals are permitted, and I’m a potential scandal. I have a sister who is a professional . . . escort.”

“Oh,” Mama said. She brought her right hand to her face.

The realization that her older daughter was a scandalous person didn’t come as any surprise, perhaps, but facing it did. It was the same as saying that the little girl she had conceived was not fit to walk the earth, but it was not only that. Maybe Roxy could contaminate the rest of us, especially me. Whatever faults Mama had found with herself or whatever reasons she had come to blame herself for Roxy’s behavior were now compounded by what was happening to me. That was her fault, too, if Roxy was.

“We can’t tell your father,” she said quickly. “I’m glad I didn’t call him when the school called me.”

I looked up quickly. “What will I tell him when he sees that Evan isn’t calling or coming over anymore?”

“I don’t know. We’ll think of something, but if he heard this, it would be like tearing off a scab, reopening a wound.
Comprenez?
”

“
Oui,
Mama.”

It wasn’t difficult to understand.

She walked off, mumbling to herself in French, but I didn’t cry. I was tired of crying. My sadness was flushed out by a rush of anger. I wanted to rage against Chastity, call her all sorts of names, ridicule her and insult her until she was drowning in remorse and regret. I thought about all sorts of ways to get revenge. I had once threatened to reveal some of her weird sexual activities and thoughts. It would be easy to turn the tables on her. Those girls who were accepting her now were only doing so because she had some juicy gossip that affected
one of the most popular boys in the school. Once they had milked her of all the shocking information, they would turn their backs on her, and she would be even more alone than ever because she wouldn’t have me anymore, either.