Forbidden Pleasures (NSC Industries Book 11) (13 page)

She could run but she wasn’t a match for me, my legs
longer and more powerful than hers. She made it three houses down before I caught
up with her and tackled her onto someone’s front garden. She cried out and
attempted to scramble out from beneath me.

“Get off!” she shouted, “Get off me!”

“No!” I roared as I flipped her around under me. “Stop
it! Give in!”

“I don’t want to!”

“Why? For fucks sake, just tell me!”

Her face crumbled and heartache swelled from her in waves
so great that I could practically smell its misery. “Because I don’t want to
want you. I don’t want to need you and rely on you. I don’t want to see the
pity on your face or the heartache that’s crippling you. I don’t want to feel
your love or accept it because…,” Her eyes found mine and finally I watched as
her resolve evaporated, “because then I know I have to accept that I love you.”
She stared at me as a long whimper physically hurt my heart. “I love you. But I
don’t want to. I don’t want to.”

I huddled her up, pulling her onto my lap as she broke.
The high pitched wail that came from her caused the curtains on the three
nearest houses to twitch. I didn’t care. I held her and rocked her as she
finally accepted and gave in. “I
want
to love you, Beatrice. I want to
love you hard because you’re the only reason I get through each day. But more
than that, you forbid my nightmares. You have ended the pain of my past. All I
can concentrate on now is your smile, your laughter, your beauty. All I think
about is you and how much I want you. You’ve turned my nightmares into dreams,
good dreams, dreams that I want to have every damn night. Dreams that I have
while I’m awake because you control my every thought and every fucking beat of
a thing that was dead for so long.”

She sobbed into my chest, her hands clawing at me in
desperation as she finally freed her grief and recognised what was inside her.

When another curtain moved, I climbed up, took her in my
arms and carried her home. Home.

Ava smiled at Jay and me as she opened her front door.
“Hey!” Her smile was huge and I was secretly in awe of how beautiful she was.
Her husband, Mason, was even more so but I didn’t voice that opinion in front
of Jay. Jay wasn’t beautiful, he was rugged and masculine, hot with a rawness
to his gorgeous body. The only word that came to mind when describing him was,
sinful
.
His body was created to do evil things to mine and as a shiver pulsed my body
with my wayward thoughts, I caught Jay’s eyes narrow on me. I knew he thought
I’d had the reaction because of Mason, he couldn’t be further from the truth
but a little jealousy never hurt anyone, so I just gave him a sly wink.

“Come in,” Ava urged as she opened the door wider.

Mason was stood at the bottom of a humungous staircase,
his power swallowing the whole of the air in the room. He nodded respectfully
and tipped his head to the kitchen, ordering us to follow.

“Sit down,” Ava gestured to the table as she put the
kettle on. Another two men were already sat and both welcomed Jay with
familiarity and a smile for me.

A large man with closely shaved hair introduced both him
and his friend, “Sam Taylor, and this is Greg Chambers.”

I smiled nervously, both their intense presences making
me shift uncomfortably. I knew who these men were and I swallowed nervously.
There would be no going back from this but Jay had assured me that these were
his friends, and he trusted them one hundred percent.

“Beatrice,” Sam started with a soft smile to relax me. “Ava
filled me in a little about your situation. I’m going to do whatever I can to
help.” I nodded, smiling shyly as my cheeks flushed with his kindness.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet, I’m afraid it isn’t going to be
nice for you either.”

I frowned and narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “In what
way?”

“I need to look into everything if we’re to catch whoever
is doing this to you,” he explained, “and that includes doing a full and
in-depth search into your life.”

My mouth dried but when the chill in my soul reminded me
why I was there, I simply nodded. “Do whatever you need to.”

“I will be completely sensitive to whatever I find. I’m
not digging to expose your secrets, Beatrice, merely to uncover anything that
will help us find this bastard.”

I nodded and turned to Ava when she came to sit beside
me. I could read her gaze, the question in her eyes and I lowered my eyes.
“Beatrice,” she placed her hand softly over mine. “Forgive me but I did a
little digging already.” She winced when I closed my eyes. “I found out
something that disturbs me.”

The whole of the room had turned to look at Ava and I
licked my dry lips when I glanced at Jay. “I know.”

She followed my direction and sensing my anguish, she
smiled softly at Jay. “Can you give me and Bea some space please, Jay?”

“No.” Everyone looked anywhere but at me or Jay when
Jay’s anger shifted the air in the room. “I think I have a right to know
whatever it is,” he finished.

“Actually…” Ava started but I cut in.

“It’s okay, he’s going to hear it sooner or later.”
Coughing to clear my throat I looked down at my lap, my fingers anxiously
twisting together.

“What am I going to hear?” Jay pressed when he noticed my
face flush with shame.

My mouth was so dry that my tongue stuck to the roof of
my mouth and my heart drummed like some eerie cult music in my chest, unable to
find a rhythm suitable to override the nerves riding my bloodstream. Blowing
out a breath to prepare myself for his fury, I lowered my voice and surged
ahead. “I’ve been learning how to shoot… or more specific, how to kill.”

If it wasn’t for Ava and Mason’s five year old twins
tearing into the kitchen right at that moment I swear Jay would have launched
me through the rear window that spanned the entire length of the kitchen. His
rage was palpable, his fear making him understandably angry, but he didn’t have
the full story and when he’d actually stopped the string of expletives that
were pouring from him – a nervous Ava snatching up her kiddies and barrelling
them out of the room – I’d explain myself.

Mason sighed loudly and took Ava’s vacated chair beside
me. He rolled his eyes at me then turned to Jay, “Shut the hell up and wait for
Beatrice to explain.”

Jay gritted his teeth together angrily as all eyes turned
to me slowly, but it was only Jay’s that were heated and expectant. So I gave
him my full attention. “I need to do this Jay. I know you think it will change
me, alter who I am but despite what you think of me right now, and I understand
you’re angry with me…” I put a finger up to shush him when he opened his mouth,
“it was something that I felt one hundred percent right about doing.”

Both of Jay’s brows shifted high incredulously. “But it’s
not you, Bea, you’re the gentlest person I have ever known and that’s what I
love about you. Killing isn’t just point and shoot, it isn’t just the matter of
stilling someone’s breath, the affect it will have on you is phenomenal, and to
be honest I’m not sure you’ll ever be able to live with that. You’re letting
that... Bastard live in you, you’re allowing him to control your future.”

“This isn’t about vengeance.”

“Then would you care to tell me exactly what the fuck it
is about because I’m finding it really difficult to understand right now!”

I nodded, cringing with the utter disgust in his voice. “I
don’t want to be afraid Jay. I don’t want to jump every time I feel a breath on
my neck, or someone knocks on my door. I don’t want to hide behind the crazy
thud in my chest every time a word or a smell triggers a memory. I want to be
able to stand straight and face all the shit that I know is coming. Because it
will, Jay. And it’s going to come for me when none of us expect it. I can’t
learn to rely on you, I just can’t. I need to do this. I’m sorry.”

All four men gawped at my honesty, ignoring Ava as she
walked back into the room and took the spare chair opposite me. Noticing the
men’s muteness she snorted. “Well hell, even I can never get that reaction from
them, even throughout all of my
adventures
.”

“I understand,” Greg stated as he cast a wary glance to
Jay who was simmering with rage.

“This - will – hurt – you! Bea, you need to understand
that!”

“It’s obvious whoever did this to Noah and me isn’t about
to just stop. They raped me and got me hooked on drugs for a reason. They
killed my brother and I know there’s more to come. I need to be able to stand
up for myself.”

Finally, dropping his eyes, Jay nodded. “I know and I
want you to be able to protect yourself. I’m scared shitless that something
will happen when I’m not there. But what you don’t understand is that I love
who you are, how strong you are without using a weapon. You hold a gun in your
hand and you will never be the same again.”

“I know that,” I whispered, “Believe me, I know. But I
would rather learn to live with guilt and be able to see the sun every morning.
I have come to quite like the thing that beats in my chest, and I’d rather like
to keep it there.”

Jay sighed, wrapping my hair in his fingers. I knew it
was to comfort himself and I reached out to his cheek, running my finger down
his scar. “Please trust me. I’ve looked into professional trainers. Ex-cops. I
promise to be careful Jay.”

“Hun,” Ava said quietly as she smiled and reached across
the table for my hand. “I can help you with all of that.”

I blinked and frowned, “Sorry, what?”

Jay nodded as he dropped to a crouch before me, his
expression now softer and full of hurt. “Sugar, my friends will help you, you
don’t need to do this by yourself. And I for one would feel more comfortable if
you did this with Ava. She’s shit hot with a gun and she won’t be afraid to
show you what isn’t legal. An ex-cop will just focus on shoot and kill but life
isn’t like that, Bea, you want to do this then you need to learn every little
trick in the book. Including how to fight.”

I looked around at them all, “But why would you?”

Ava frowned in confusion, “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Well, you don’t know me, for one.”

“You mean a lot to Jay and fuck, it’s about time that boy
fell in love instead of causing my best friend the grief he does.” She winked
when Jay huffed. “There’s only you that has done that. There’s only you that
has made him feel worth something and after the shit life has dished out for
him, then hell, I think that makes us friends, don’t you.”

Tears filled my eyes, the last few weeks rushing at me
with a force as a sob ripped from me. “Don’t cry,” Ava urged as she tugged on
my hand and pulled me out of the chair.

“Where are we going?”

“Woohoo,” Greg exclaimed making me question what was
going on when Ava rolled her eyes again.

“Hun,” she sighed, “It’s Thursday night, it’s Xbox night.
And while the boys shoot the shit out of each other with boy’s toys, me and you
are gonna shoot some shit with great big motherfucking REAL guns!”

My eyes widened but the grin I wore gave Ava a sinister
glint in her eyes, “A girl after my own heart.”

And shit, was she right.

We both groaned as I sank deep inside Bea. Her stunning
grey eyes were wide on me and she looked at me as if almost awed. Her lower lip
quivered when slowly I drew back out and pushed back in without urgency or
worry. “Jay,” she whimpered. Her pussy was hot and slick, and tight around me
and it was becoming more and more difficult to hold back.

I kissed her, savouring her unique taste and quietening
her urgency. She moaned into me, slipping her tongue inside to play with my own
as her fingers softly stroked over the welts on my back.

“Please,” she breathed, closing her eyes and lifting her
hips to mine in an effort to encourage me to move.

“Open your eyes, Bea.”

Instantly she opened to me. My cock was pulsing with the
need to move harder and faster yet my mind wanted to treasure the way she both
felt and looked at me. Finally, she understood and she smiled softly, lifting
her hand to my face.

I couldn’t help but nuzzle into her, her touch as tender
as the way she was looking at me. Her tongue peeked out and swiped across her
dry lips before she smiled gently. “I love you,” she whispered.

My heart skipped a beat, my skin tingling with awareness
as I fought not to fucking cry like a girl. Returning her smile, and repaying
her declaration with a hard thrust, I leaned down and kissed her harder, unable
to fight the growing need in me to show her the words she had just said to me.

“I know,” I smirked, “I always knew.” Her eyes widened on
me before a huge grin broke out across her pretty face. “But I must admit it’s
nice to actually hear it.”

She giggled then pushed her hands on my chest and rolled
us both over so that she was straddled above me. Her gorgeous tits lifted and
fell with each of her heavy breaths, her nipples hardening under my tongue when
I sat up and wrapped my lips around one. She moved on me with a torturous
rhythm, her lifts and drops as easy as the way she gazed at me.

“I think you might need to chase your orgasm soon, sugar
because I’m really struggling to hold mine in my fucking balls.”

She grinned then took my hand in hers and slipped it
between us. I didn’t wait, I pinched her swollen clit and bit her nipple,
sending her over the edge into the abyss just as I burst inside her. She was
barely moving on me, yet her slow fucks had forced me to come inside her with a
fierce cry, my shock at its sudden onslaught causing me to bite into her flesh
harder than I had meant to. She yelped, shivering over me as her orgasm and my
bite merged into a painful bliss that dragged her climax into a deeper level.
Her cum flooded my thighs, its warmth trickling through the gap of my legs and
onto the bed sheet below us. She cried out with a ferocious growl, her body
still quivering and riding me hard.

Jesus Fucking Christ!

Her intense orgasm, and the tightening of her pussy
around me sucked me bone dry, almost vacuuming my dick inside her. “Fuck Bea!”
I roared when I couldn’t stop the uncontrollable spasms in my balls from
pumping out everything inside them. I swore she had ripped the damn things off
my cock and sucked them though the end of my knob.

The feeling was intense, painful and fucking incredible.
I couldn’t move as her head flopped on to my shoulder and she struggled to
breathe as much as I did.

“Well, that was… different,” she panted with amazement.

“I’m actually positive you have swallowed my cock, you
greedy girl.”

She reared back and gawped at me, but then her lips
lifted and she grinned at me, her beautiful face lighting with pleasure. “I’m
saving it for later, you know, just in case if I’ve knackered you out.”

The lifting of my brow as I challenged her statement made
her smirk and roll her eyes but slowly she slid off me, the loss of her warmth
making my dick almost sob. She planted her hands beside my legs and reached in
to kiss me softly, her plump bruised mouth from my hard kiss making my dick pay
attention again. “Drink?”

I nodded unable to form words as my body attempted to
balance itself and I flopped back against the bed, the pillow providing my head
with a comfort that not even heaven itself could offer right then.

Staring at my ceiling, I couldn’t help but grin like a
fucking loony. She had finally said the words I had longed to hear from her
cute mouth. I knew my heart would actually stopped beating if I ever lost her.
I had never in the ten years since I hit adulthood ever expected this. I had
told myself time and time again that I would never fall in love, I would never
be beholden to someone like my mother had been to both my father and James. She
had struggled through life so much, loving one man she couldn’t have and trying
to escape another man she didn’t want. I never wanted to put that on anyone
else, never mind myself. But Bea had forced her way inside me, even when I’d
tried my best to push her out. She was like this blast of emotions that had
soaked through my defence walls as rigorously as I had erected them. But that
meant she had the power to shatter everything inside me. I wasn’t a hearts and
flowers guy, I wouldn’t ever be good enough for her, I knew that, however there
was no way I would ever let her go now, I couldn’t handle the pain that would
come with her withdrawing from my life.

I had brought Bea home to mine, as much as she had
grumbled about it. We had fetched some of her things and for the time being she
would be staying with me at my house. Mason had told her that from tomorrow she
would be escorted everywhere with one of his security men. She was so strong
and independent that trying to get her to accept help was a task within itself.
Yet there was no way on God’s earth would she be allowed to be alone until this
bastard was strung up.

However, I couldn’t help but feel content. After the ups
and downs, it finally looked like we were on course for a relationship. She had
cried for Noah, but, and this was a big but for her, she had allowed me to
comfort her, to hold her and take her devastation. Bea was hugely self-reliant
so to allow me to share her grief with her was an enormous step forwards.

I frowned glancing at the clock. She’d been gone over ten
minutes, way too long for me, my eyes were missing her already. Tugging on some
shorts I made my way down to the kitchen. My feet stumbled and I froze when her
voice reached my ears.
Shit. Fucking Shit.
Taking a deep breath, I
tapped my teeth together and took a brave step in.

Both women turned to me and Belinda quirked her perfectly
manicured eyebrow from where she sat with her arms crossed defensively at the
table. “Hello Jay.

“What are you doing here Billie?”

I glanced to Bea who was stood rigidly with her eyes on
the floor. My stomach twisted at the knowledge of how she must feel. Why did
fate hate me?

“Well that’s no way to greet your one and only.”

I stared at her, “My one and only?”

Bea’s cheeks heated and I noticed her jaw clench.
“Belinda thought you might need her…
services
,” Bea grated out as she
lifted her eyes and glared at me.

Fuck!

Belinda puffed out her lips at what Bea was insinuating
but looked back at me. “Forgive me if I’m wrong Jay but I do believe that you
text me telling me that ‘you were hungry for my expert hand’.”

I clenched my jaw when Bea blinked and swallowed. The
hurt on her face was unbearable and I glared at Belinda. “Billie, that was four
days ago!”

The shocking difference between both women was colossal.
Bea was petite, her small soft body full of natural curves and her pale scarred
skin showered in a mass of sexy freckles. Her long blonde hair fell in soft
waves over her shoulders and the casual way she dressed showed off her
exquisite body in a way Bea was oblivious to. Yet, Belinda was tall, her long
shapely legs and her ample chest her best features. Every bit of her stunning
face was enhanced by surgery and her clothes were designer and screamed of her
own self-confidence. Her short black bob swayed with every movement of her head
and her Botox plump lips permanently puckered into a smug pout.

Belinda just shrugged as she sauntered across the room to
me. I took a step back and blinked at Bea. “Can you give us a minute, sugar?”

Bea’s eyes snapped to mine then dropped to Belinda’s hand
which had settled on my forearm. Simply, she nodded and silently walked out of
the room. My head snapped round and I glared at Belinda when she spat, “Who the
fuck is she?”

“Sit down,” I ordered. She quirked her brow at my fierce
order but did as I asked when I took the chair opposite her. “I’m afraid I have
to sever our relationship.”

Belinda’s eyes widened then narrowed. “Sever our
relationship?” she hissed, “What the fuck am I, your accountant?”

I closed my eyes. I’d never been good with this kind of
thing and I sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. What I’m
trying to say is that Beatrice is important to me.”

“And I’m not?”

“Billie,” I sighed as I reached for her hand. The hurt on
her face made my gut tremble with guilt. “Yes, you’re important to me but
you’re my friend.”

She gaped at me, blinking away the tears that filled her
eyes. “I’m your friend?” she snapped with a huff of disbelief. “Well bully for
me! We are more than friends Jay and you know it!”

This was going from bad to worse. “I’m aware of your
feelings for me Billie but I told you I can’t reciprocate them.”

“Because you told me you were incapable of loving, yet
she
walks in and what?” The way she said ‘she’ made me wince. “Suddenly you’re in
love?”

I didn’t want to lie to her, she didn’t deserve that so I
nodded. “Yes.”

Her teeth sank into her bottom lip and the utter grief
that spread across her face had me reaching for her but she shot out of her
chair and shook her head. “She won’t give you what you need Jay!”

“But that’s the thing, I don’t need it when I’m with
her.” I groaned inwardly when she gasped. I wasn’t doing very well and I
clenched my teeth in anger at myself. “She’s good for me Billie,” I tried,
appealing to the side of her that felt for me.

She scoffed, more tears brimming in her eyes but she
blinked and pushed them away. “Then I hope she makes you happy.”

She didn’t wait for me to say more, she just spun around
on her enormous heels and left. I couldn’t help but feel sad, Belinda and I had
been friends for a long time and I knew I would miss her. Sighing I dropped my
head in my hands and closed my eyes to the approaching headache and steeled
myself. Then sliding my chair back, I went in search of Bea.