Forbidden Love (Forbidden Trilogy) (6 page)

“You didn’t bring an overnight bag,” he says.

“Baby steps, Grayson. We have some talking to do before we can get to the overnight bag point.” I hope my bravado doesn’t give away how much his scent enclosed in this car is getting to me. He winks at me and starts the engine.

“Hmmm… Okay sweetheart. I’ll follow your lead.” I want to kiss that grin right off his face. Jordan wasn’t kidding about the whole pheromone thing. His eyes are on the road and I use this time to steal small glances at him. The muscles in his arm flexes as he handle the steering wheel. I can see every cut of his delicious abs through his fitted tee. The thick column of his neck is even sexy. He runs his hand through his inky black locks and my eyes follow the gesture. His hair is slightly longer on top than before in that just fucked way. I imagine pulling his hair while he pounds me.

I bite my lip at the visual. He turns and looks at me and I am hit with all that gorgeousness at once. He winks at me again and I know I’ve just been busted checking him out. I flush crimson. He lets out a soft chuckle at my embarrassment. I look away, determined not to be distracted by his sex appeal. Instead, I mentally prepare the questions I need answers to. I’m pulled out my reverie by the feel of his hand grasping my knee.

“What are you thinking about so hard about over there?”

“Just enjoying the view,” I lie as I look into the distance. The view I want to see is causing me to become a horny mess.

“Hmmm, okay,” he says. He gives my knee a squeeze before removing his hand. I immediately feel bereft. Looking once more out of the window, I see that we are leaving the city limits. What hotel are we going to? We take a series of turns, climbing higher in altitude as we drive along the mountainside.

“Grayson? Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to my home. No more hotels. This is our beginning, if you let it be.” He glances at me briefly for my reaction, but I’m stunned. This is a huge step. I don’t how to process his one-eighty behavior so I keep quiet.

We finally pull up to his home and it is not even on the same scale of any of the hotels we stayed at.

This gem is a single story home overlooking all of Los Angeles. The sun is setting now so the solar lights illuminate the landscaped bamboo, palms, and exotic trees. It’s location offers total seclusion, yet we’re only about fifteen minutes from everything. He opens the door and I don’t miss his subtle touch to my lower back as he guides me in. Heat sears my flesh from his fingertips. Our eyes meet and unspoken lust is evident between us.

“Let me give you the tour,” he offers. “It’s only three bedrooms, but it is enough space for me.” I agree, but this place is definitely at odds with the penthouse he always rented. I knew he only wanted the extra space to ensure that he didn’t have to share a bedroom with me.

“The view is gorgeous.” Windows line the entire back of the house. I can see the romantic lit pool and I imagine the fun we can have in it with the seclusion.

“Yeah. You get a view of the city from every room. I love the natural light that this place gets during the day and the twinkle of the city lights at night.”

“Well, I hope you have curtains in the bedroom. I won’t be a fan of natural sunlight in the morning. I’m so not a morning person.”

“Does that mean you’re staying the night with me?” he says grinning. I avert my eyes from his as I realize my mistake.

“No. I was just making a blanket statement,” I say waving him off.

“Well, let me show you the rest of the house.” The wicked gleam in his eyes hints that he rather being doing something else. We step into the living room and the open space is a compilation of creams, browns, oranges, and yellows. Contemporary furnishings and decor complement the mid-century modern architecture. The two bedrooms feature an Asian decor with platform beds, bamboo sliding doors, and a Japanese styled bath in the master bedroom. This place is absolutely breath taking.

“I think we should head back to the living room. Having you in my bedroom for the first time is very distracting.” He winks at me. “We won’t get much talking done in here.” He tucks a stray hair behind my ear before pulling me by the hand back into the living room.

“Are you hungry?” I take a seat and watch as he pours us a glass of some expensive-looking French wine.

“No. I’m okay for now.” My stomach is suddenly in knots as we embark on this much needed talk.

He passes me a glass of the liquid courage and I am thankful. “Okay, let’s talk. I can start if you want.”

I nod my head in the affirmative. I need to gather my thoughts and let the wine soothe my nerves. I want answers, but I’m afraid of the outcome once I have them. Will we be able to move forward? He chooses to sit across from me and I’m glad. His nearness is distracting.

“Okay. As I said before, I fell in love with you. I think subconsciously I already knew. I started letting you in the moment I began going against my own norm. Having you sleep in my bed was huge for me. That last night we spent together was amazing. I confided in Vanessa the feelings that I was developing for you and she called bullshit. She accused me of manipulating my therapy.” He takes a cleansing breath and looks me in the eyes. “Siobhan, I’m a sex addict. I’m currently in therapy, but she couldn’t be more wrong. The minute I started defending my actions and feelings, I knew that I was deeply in love with you and it scared the shit out of me. Rather than run to you and beg you to take me back, I took the coward’s way out. I fucked Vanessa and slept in the bed with her to prove to myself that my love for you was a lie. When I saw you at Bailey’s the next day and your reaction to Vanessa’s statement, it crushed me.”

Tears stream down my face. I’m so overwhelmed right now. Oh. My. God.
He just admitted that he is a sex addict.
He tried to fuck me out of his system. The feelings from that day come back to me in a rush. He is at my side now, furiously trying to brush away the tears. “Please don’t cry baby. I’m so sorry.”

I push away from him and walk to the bar and refill my glass. “What do you mean you’re a sex addict?”

I can’t deal with thoughts of him and Vanessa right now. I gulp down the glass of wine I just poured and refill another. The wine is not doing its job fast enough. He walks over to me once again and grabs my hand. He eases the glass away from me. “Baby, we need to have this conversation sober. I know it hurts and for that I’m truly sorry. I will do everything in my power to never have to see this look in your eyes ever again.” He tilts my chin up and kisses me softly. The kiss is brief, but it conveys his sincerity. “I was in love once before. Her name was Celeste and she was my fiancée.”

A lump forms in my throat. It is hard to hear that someone else had his heart. “What happened with her? Did she break your heart? Is that why you’re such a commitment phobe?” I fire rapid questions his way, but he doesn’t seem deterred.

“Well, to make a long story short, my mother died of cancer when I was nine. My father had a couple women in his life before he met Vivian. Until her, I missed out on that mother figure. I grew up keeping girls at arms-length because of the role models my father paraded around with showed me women couldn’t be trusted. I didn’t trust the idea of love. I can still remember how much it hurt to watch my mother fade away.” His eyes close as he reminisces on the memories. “I met Celeste my junior year in college and I fell for her instantly. I was ready to put my playboy ways aside. Ironically, it was Vanessa who introduced us. Celeste was her roommate.”

“Vanessa mentioned that you two have been friends since she was eleven and you were thirteen. You never sought out a relationship with her?” Fourteen years is a very long time to have her hooks in him. No wonder they have such a strong bond.

“No. Our families are close and would like to see us together though.” His uneasiness is apparent so I know there is more. “I’m going to be completely transparent right now so please remember this is my past and nothing more. Vanessa basically grew up with Bailey and I because our parents were so close, but we didn’t start having sex until she arrived as a freshman at USC. She knew I wasn’t looking for anything beyond sex. She was completely fine with it because she was doing her own thing as well. When she introduced me to her roommate Celeste, she never thought things would progress past a casual hook up. I had no control over how hard I fell for this girl. We dated for a year before I proposed. We were only engaged for a few months before her horrible car accident.”

Holy shit. This must be the reference Vanessa was speaking of when she commented about the significance of my accident.
Damn.
“Did she die?”

“No, but our love did.” He sees the confusion on my face so he continues. “She was hospitalized for several weeks, in a coma. When she regained consciousness, she had no recollection of our relationship or me. Her long-term memory was intact so she remembered her family, but I was a stranger to her. The doctors were unsure if she would ever regain those memories. We tried to work things out, but we grew apart. She eventually fell in love with someone else and I was devastated.

Pieces of his conversation in the hall with Vanessa that day are starting to make sense. He has had such bad luck with love, I can see why he is scared to allow himself to feel for someone. With my own experiences, I can relate. I’m scared to ask this next question, but I know that I have to. “Grayson, are you still in love with her?” He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a deep breath. He closes his eyes and shakes his head no as though he’s never thought about this until now. When opens his eyes, they hold mine. His smile is sad and it is evident that that she is still a sore topic for him.

“Honestly, she will always hold a special place in my heart because she was my first love. But to answer your question, no I’m not in love with her. Six years has passed. The scars are there though. This is where my addiction comes in. I used sex to numb the memory of her. I fucked countless women as an escape from the pain— careful not to let anyone else get too close. Vanessa and I continued to mess around in between our own hook ups, but then she told me I needed to seek help for my dependency. I told her she was fucking crazy at first and then I realized she was right.”

“You said ‘used’ as in past tense. What about now?” Having a glimpse into his past helps me understand his reservations, but I still hate his connection to that tramp and her influence with him.

“Well now, I have someone that I’m absolutely in love with and I’m not interested in sex with anyone else. You’re my cure baby.”

“Uh huh,” I say with my own reservations. I don’t want to be the healing balm to soothe his broken heart. I want to be the love of his life.

“Come here. I know that was a lot to hear, but please know that it is you that I want.” He pulls me to him and my body melts into him. He uses his hands to tilt my face up to him and this time the kiss is not soft or comforting. It is raw and hungry. His tongue seeks entrance and I let him in. His hands slide under my dress and my panties pool with wetness. “Please tell me you’re mine now, baby. I need to hear it.”

I don’t hesitate. We have a long way to go and a lot of healing to do, but I can’t deny this man. “I’m yours.”

He growls his approval before ripping my panties off. He picks me up and I have no choice but to hang on for the ride as he makes determined strides toward the bedroom. “There’s no turning back baby. I’m going to fuck you so hard. Fuck zero or anything else in between. Sixty is what you’re getting so I hope you’re ready,” he says in reference to his previous comment about not taking me from zero to sixty without incremental exposure.
Fuck, I’m ready for sixty.
He slides my dress over my head and undoes my bra. He stands back and takes me in like I’m his last meal. I fight the urge to cover myself. I let him have his fill. He begins to remove his own clothes and holy hell, I forgot just how Adonis-like his body was. Don’t get me wrong, he’s starred in my recent fantasies, but they have nothing on the real thing. I lick my lips as he stalks toward me with a smirk. His hardness is standing at attention, nearly touching his navel. The vein that runs along the dorsal side adds to its virile perfection. The thickness intimidates me. He grabs my hand and wraps it around the head. He glides my hand over him and I can feel him hardening even more. I try to swallow the lump in my throat.

“You miss my cock baby?” He winks at me and I squeeze my legs together to stave off the ache that is rolling through my sex. Grayson crawls to me and pries my legs apart. “Uhh-huh, open your legs for me. I want to see how wet you are.”

“Still crass as ever I see.” I secretly love how filthy his mouth is. It gets me so hot.

“Always love. You haven’t seen anything yet.” He nibbles at my inner thigh and I let my head fall back on the bed. He grips my hips in his arms and uses his hold to keep me still as he swipes his skilled tongue across my clit. I nearly buck off the bed. His licks are slow, controlled, and torturous. He makes little swirls with his tongue that should be illegal. “Fuck, you have such a gorgeous pussy. I can stay right here and devour your sweetness all day.” He sucks on my clit with such fervor. He inserts one finger and then two, stretching me. I moan and thrash about. It’s too much. He tightens his grip to hold me still and continues his assault. He tongues me deep and it has me grabbing his hair as I buck my hips. I think I’m going to pass out when the first wave of ecstasy rolls through me. My legs tremble around his head, but he doesn’t stop. He begins nibbling at my bud alternated with a lethal swirl of his talented tongue. I pull on his hair as I ride out my second orgasm.
Shit he’s still licking me.