Forbidden Falls (20 page)

Vanni was quiet a moment. “I lost my mother almost six years ago.”

Ellie’s hand that held the sandwich slowly lowered to the table. “Oh, man. A mother and a husband? Oh, sugar, you’ve had such a rough time!”

“Same as you,” Vanni said softly.

Ellie shrugged. “I miss my gram all the time, but sometimes it’s like she’s right on my shoulder,” she said, patting the place. “I can hear her, feel her. Like she never really left me. She was seventy when she died. She’d been reading in her chair and died with her book in her lap and her glasses on her nose. We slept on the pullout sofa, Danielle on a small daybed and Trevor in the crib, all of us in one room. While I slept and she read, she passed. I found her in the morning. She must have been dead all night, but she went so softly, no one knew she was gone. Funny,” she said, “but I dreamt about her that night. I dreamt I was lying on the couch with my head on her lap, on her favorite corduroy jumper, and she was rubbing my head. I was real little when she did that, but it’s one of my favorite memories.” She looked at Vanni and noticed she had glistening eyes. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. My marching orders were to make you laugh, not make you cry!”

“Who told you that?” Vanni asked, wiping her eyes. “To make me laugh?”

“Noah. I asked him what I was supposed to do and he said, ‘You’ll know what to do.’ And added that it would be good if I could make you laugh. Noah thinks I’m a real stitch, but he’d like to shove me under a pew and keep his future congregation from seeing me.”

“And why is that?” Vanni asked with a laugh.

“Oh, he hasn’t been real specific, but I believe it has to do with my potty mouth, my tattoo, my cleavage and, when I’m not Mommy’s helper or Pastor’s painter, the way I like to do my hair and makeup. Kind of Dolly Parton.” She grinned. “I know it annoys him, but I can’t seem to stop.”

Vanni reached for her hand and smiled. “Don’t. Don’t change for anyone, especially a man.”

“Ah, we are sisters. I thought so.” The spin cycle stopped. “I’m going to put those sheets in the dryer, then we can make up the bed together. While they’re drying, why don’t I go see if your bedroom and bathroom could use a once-over. When I leave today, it’s my goal to see that everyone is happy and can relax in a fresh house.”

“You’re amazing, Ellie. Your grandmother trained you very well.”

“Yeah? Well, baby, it’s such a great thing to have more than two rooms to clean, it’s like you’re doing me a favor.”

The girls talked while they worked on the master bedroom and bath, when Ellie wasn’t running the vacuum, at least. They laughed like girlfriends, told sentimental stories about family members, and Ellie even tried on some old pants and tops that Vanni said she’d never fit into again. Vanni was only an inch shorter than Ellie and wore her pants long to compensate for boots, so the fit was perfect.

“Take them,” Vanni said. “If you like them, that is. My feelings won’t be hurt at all if they’re not your style. I mean, I doubt Dolly would like them. I was going to give them to Goodwill, so they’re yours if you want them.”

“That’s so nice, Vanni. I didn’t expect anything like this!” She tilted her head. “I think I hear something. That was a good long nap. With any luck, they’ll be in good moods tonight. What do you usually do when they wake up, after a change?”

“Snack. Playtime till dinner,” she said with a shrug. “Nothing special.”

“How about a little cuddle time. Just waking up is awful sweet,” Ellie said. “Let’s do it.”

As Ellie was leaving the master bedroom, Vanni touched her arm. “Um, would you take care of Hannah, please?”

“Sure. I’d like that.”

They collected their assigned children, changed them and cuddled them. As Ellie held Hannah close, she said, “So—not really connected to this one yet?”

Vanni took a moment to answer. “That’s terrible, I know…”

“It took me a while to feel like Danielle was really my baby. To believe I could love her more than anything, which was what my gram said would happen. Of course, I was just a kid myself. But if it took me a few days even though I’d carried her inside my body and felt every movement, I guess it’s natural for it to take you a little while when you didn’t have any relationship with her at all before she was suddenly living with you.”

“You don’t think I’m a terrible person?”

Ellie smiled at her and held Hannah tighter. “Vanni, I barely know you, but I can tell already. There’s not one terrible thing about you. Now—what do we have for snacks?”

“Yogurt,” Vanni said with a smile. “They love it.”

At four o’clock, with the beginnings of supper ready, the house clean, laundry done, children bathed and happy and Vanni looking pretty good, Ellie was saying goodbye. She gave each child a loud smack, making them both laugh. She clutched Vanni’s cast-off clothes close, very excited about them since they were a bit more conservative, though it killed her to think she had pleasure from the thought of pleasing Noah. “I’ll see you in the morning about eight-thirty,” she said to Vanni. “Let’s do it the same way—you answer in your bathrobe and I’ll take over. You can have the morning all to yourself. And whatever needs doing, I’ll do. You can have the afternoon, too, if you need it. Maybe you have shopping or errands or something. Whatever you need.”

Vanni’s eyes were round with surprise. “I get more than one day of this special treatment?”

Ellie grinned. “Baby, you get the rest of your life if you need it. I think Paul gave Noah a deal on the redo and Noah’s so happy I’m not around the church to make his life difficult. See you in the a.m.”

Ellie went to the church before going home. She found Noah in his office, and Lucy on the floor behind the desk. She stood in front of the desk, her hands on her hips.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

She frowned at him. “You might’ve mentioned everything had gone to hell out there.”

He stood up and cleared his throat. “A picture’s worth a thousand words? Were you able to help?”

“Of course,” she said. “But, buddy, that woman needs more than household help. She needs a miracle. Inspiration.”

Noah smiled at her. “That’s why I sent you, Ellie.”

“No, you sent me because you can’t clean and you don’t have anyone else.”

“And that, too,” he said. “Going back tomorrow?”

“It’ll be a lot of tomorrows before she’s good to go,” Ellie said. “Do not screw up the painting while I’m busy at the Haggertys’.”

After Ellie was back in her rented room, after a microwaved burrito and diet cola, she turned on the clock radio for a little music. And then she cried for her own children.

The rest of the week was a busy one for Ellie as she reported for duty at Vanessa’s house every morning. Given there were two of them to tend the children and keep the house and laundry up to speed, everything went smoothly. Having a full-time babysitter allowed Vanni to run errands, have regular horseback rides for exercise and fresh air and, not least of all, have someone to talk to. It didn’t take Vanni any time at all to start looking more rested.

It wasn’t long before Vanni asked Ellie, “Now, where are your kids?”

Ellie took a deep breath; up until she lost custody of her children and went to work for a church, it had never occurred to her to lie. She felt she had to protect everyone—her kids, her boss, even herself. But lying was complicated. And painful. “Well, I met Arnie when I was all alone with two little kids, two jobs and very little means of holding it all together. My judgment must have sucked, because I married a real strange guy who was obsessed with controlling me. Talk about changing your appearance for a guy? Vanni—that one wanted me to dress like an old woman and never leave the house. It was so bizarre. Of course, I left him almost right away—we were married less than three months. But Arnie wanted me back. The only way he could figure out how to do that was to take a custody case to court.” And she explained the same details she’d given Jo Fitch.

“Ellie, wasn’t there help available to you? I don’t know—like welfare? Food stamps?”

“Sure,” she said. “If there’s anything worse than working two jobs with little kids, it’s trying to figure out how to live on the ‘help.’ Do you know what I qualified for? If I worked a job that paid eleven dollars an hour—a real find—I could get an extra two hundred and twenty from the state. You ever try to live on about two thousand a month with two kids? My money was long gone before I even got to things like clothes for them and school supplies. Just keeping a roof over our heads, usually two rooms, gas in the car and insurance, the lights on and a babysitter for Trevor, as well as a sitter for after school and evenings for both of them…Well, I never did get that far. After my gramma died and I didn’t have a place to live anymore or a babysitter, I just couldn’t do it.”

“Didn’t your grandmother have a house to leave you when she died?” Vanni asked.

Ellie shrugged. “My gramma had a little tiny house that she’d kept mortgaging over the years. Between the two of us—her retirement benefits and my income from two jobs—we could keep going. But when she was gone, I couldn’t make those payments. I had to find something cheap to rent.”

“Aw, Ellie. I’m so sorry. And that’s how you ended up married to that jackass?”

“That kind of sums it up. I thought Arnie would take care of us. He was so sweet to the kids before we got married, so hard on them the very first day we lived with him. It was just awful. He was only looking for some people to boss around—I didn’t see that till it was too late. He’s still looking for control. It’s a nightmare for the kids. But, we’ll get through it and then we’ll move on, legally, and get out of the pastor’s hair.”

“No, Ellie!”

“It’s okay, Vanni. Noah took a real chance on me, just so I’d have a good job to take to court and get my kids back.” Vanni didn’t know the half of what Noah had taken on—giving a job to a stripper who’d lost her kids? A woman with two kids with two different dads, both times out of wedlock? One dead and one in prison? “I just need my kids.”

“You’re going to get them back, honey. And if you need my help on that, you just tell me what to do!”

“That’s so sweet,” Ellie said softly.

“What I want to know,” Vanni said, “is how you stay so positive after all you’ve been through.”

Ellie shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t take anything for granted. Good stuff doesn’t come my way all the time, so when it does—like this job that will get me my kids back, this town, friendship, people like you who can accept me even though I’m a big mess—that means something. And my gramma used to always say, ‘Gratitude brings happiness.’”

On Friday, after four full days of togetherness while Ellie played mommy’s helper, they were talking about the weekend while the kids had their lunch. “So, does Paul work on Saturdays?” Ellie asked. “That’s my day with my kids, so I can’t miss it, but if you’re going to be up a creek, I can go pick them up and bring them with me. They’re fantastic and they’d love playing with the little ones. They’re very careful and I’d watch every second. Danielle is so grown up at eight. Trevor’s a little clumsy, but I wouldn’t let him do anything with the tots that would cause harm. And while everyone’s sleeping—I could help with laundry and housework.”

Vanni smiled. “You never stop lending a hand, do you?”

“I intend to see my assignment through. I might need a letter of recommendation someday.” She sobered. “Seriously, Vanni—I don’t want you to be stranded again. I can pick up the kids and—”

“No, no, don’t. Just have a nice Saturday with them. I’m all caught up, thanks to you. Maybe Paul will make it a short day.”

“Then I’ll see you Monday?” Ellie asked, wiping little faces after lunch.

“If Noah says you’re not needed at the church,” Vanni agreed.

Ellie lifted Hannah out of the high chair. She had fixed two bottles and the women took the kids into the great room, settling in. Ellie held Hannah, and Vanni held Matt.

Ellie cuddled Hannah close. She was a precious little thing, her dark curls so silky and her cheeks so pink. Her eyes glittered with happiness. She held the bottle herself, but Ellie could tell she enjoyed being cuddled. “My gramma used to say, ‘Hold them whenever you can, Ellie. Touch and the sound of your voice is everything.’ And even now, when my kids are so big, it still seems to matter to them. Another thing she used to say was, ‘All you really need to tell them is that you love them no matter what and that you wanted them.’ Being wanted is very important in life. I don’t think my mother wanted me, but my gramma did, and she told me all the time that I was her blessing, her dream come true.”

Ellie sat on the sofa and Vanni in the chair with Mattie. And suddenly Hannah pulled the nipple of the bottle out of her mouth and turned her whole body away from Ellie. She held the bottle with one hand and stretched her other arm out toward Vanni. “Mama!” she said, and smiled. “Mama! Mamamamama…” And then she turned back, put the bottle back in her mouth.

“Well,” Ellie said. “You might not be there quite yet, but she is.”

Vanni lifted her chin with a sniff, closing her eyes.

“The other thing my gramma used to say, ‘You’re not happy? Fine. Act happy and see if the right feeling catches up.’ And you know what? Sometimes that works.”

Vanni was quiet for a long moment, and then very softly she said, “Let’s trade.”

“Good,” Ellie said. She stood with Hannah in her arms, carrying her the short distance over to Vanni. She put the baby on Vanni’s knees and lifted the much heavier Mattie in her arms and went back to the sofa.

And Vanni held Hannah. Hannah snuggled close, putting her fingers into Vanni’s mouth while she suckled. Then the suction broke with her smile. And without quite letting go of the nipple, she said, “Mama,” in a very small, almost relieved voice.

And Vanni began to cry.

Noah was kneeling in the sanctuary on the sanded floor, inspecting some hardwood seams that might need repair. He’d have to ask Paul about replacing the boards before the floor was finished. Lucy was beside him as usual. It was that magic hour, about five o’clock, when the sun caught the stained-glass window and lit it up.

“Pastor?”

He turned at the sound of Ellie’s voice. She had never addressed him so.

“I thought you’d like to know about the progress out at the Haggerty house. Everything is spic-and-span, and I think Vanni is warming up to Hannah. I’ll go back on Monday morning, but I feel like they’re doing better than when I found them.”

Noah took several steps toward her. “Why do you look so tired? Was it real hard work?”

Ellie shook her head. “It was hard on the heart. That baby girl is priceless, she’s so wonderful. She needs a mother’s love. I think it’s getting closer, but it’s been a tough adjustment. I guess you knew that or you wouldn’t have sent me out there.”

“What did you do?” he asked gently, his hand absently wandering to stroke the ponytail that hung over her shoulder.

She shrugged. “Nothing amazing. I cleaned, held the kids, let her talk, talked myself—you know. Like girls do. But when I was leaving today, Vanni was holding Hannah, probably the first time she didn’t absolutely have to. She was holding her close, kissing her little head, crying while that amazing child put little fingers in Vanni’s mouth and called her mama. I think it’s coming together. But, God, it’s killing me.”

Noah smiled, unsurprised. “Did your grandmother contribute a lot to that evolution?”

“My gramma?”

“You know,” he said. “My gramma said this, my gramma said that…”

“Do I do that a lot? I don’t even know when I do that.”

“It’s not a liability, Ellie,” he said. “That’s why I sent you.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Well, how sneaky is that! Really, I should be paid better if you’re going to have me doing that, and especially if you’re not even going to tell me!”

“You should be paid a lot more than I’m paying you,” he said with a smile. “But it’s what I can afford.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why the hell can’t I ever run into a rich man who wants to take advantage of me?”

He just laughed at her.

“Well, this is a fine mess,” a deep voice said from behind them. “Much worse looking than I expected. You must be thrilled, Noah.”

Noah turned. There, standing at the other end of the empty church, was his best friend and mentor. “George!” He left Ellie and strode toward him. “You didn’t say you were coming!”

“Sure I did. I just didn’t say when. It comes as no surprise to see you looking happy, surrounded by this disaster.”

Noah laughed and embraced the older man in a fierce hug. “God, it’s good to see you! How long will you stay?”

“Long enough to get the lay of the land. Now, who is your friend? You shouldn’t leave a beautiful woman standing behind like that.”

Noah grabbed George’s arm and pulled him down what would eventually be an aisle in the church. “George, meet Ellie Baldwin, pastor’s assistant. Ellie, meet George Davenport, my best friend and mentor.”

A slow smile spread over George’s face. He took Ellie’s hand, raising the back of her fingers to his lips. He bent and brushed a kiss on them. “Ellie, it’s an honor. I retired too soon—I had no idea the assistants would be so beautiful down the road.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr….”

“Pastor Davenport,” Noah corrected. “Retired, but still a preacher.”

She smiled. “A pleasure, Your Worship,” she said.

Noah laughed at George’s look of surprise. “She doesn’t mean it, George. She’s extremely disrespectful. And unrepentant.”

“Then you’ll do penance by sitting through dinner with us,” George said. “I can’t wait to try that little place next door, the one Noah’s been bragging about. Come, Ellie, stay close to me. I want to know how you like working for this reprobate.”

“It’s hell, Your Reverence.”

George felt he had met the entire town by the time dinner was over, but Jack Sheridan assured him he hadn’t come close. “These are pretty much the regulars, though,” Jack admitted. That included Jack’s wife and two small children, the neighbors who lived nearby, Hope McCrea, who sold Noah the old church. George was introduced to young Rick Sudder and his fiancée, Liz; Rick was recently returned from a tour of duty with the marines in Iraq. Somewhere along the line George learned that Rick had a prosthetic leg, but he never did figure out which one. The lad had a carefree manner and not the slightest limp.

And then there came a story that had half the bar in stitches—it seemed that when Rick was struggling to adjust, the man sitting beside him at the bar, Dan, challenged him to a fight out in the street. Dan, over thirty-five years old, took off the prosthetic leg no one knew he had! “It was a circus,” Jack said. “But it seemed to turn Rick onto the idea that life could go on.”

There were more stories; clearly the folks in town enjoyed sharing their tales with newcomers and strangers. And while they partook of some of the finest stew George had ever tasted, along with the softest, sweetest bread, he was able to get to know Ellie a little bit. Of course, he’d heard all the details that brought her here from Noah, details that Ellie would never know George knew. George was interested in her children and how she was settling into town.

George was captivated by her. She was a pip, as George’s father might have said. But what he saw quickly, what he was sure Noah was oblivious to, Ellie was very like Noah’s late wife. She was unique, confident, funny and impossibly positive.

Noah and George enjoyed a brandy after dinner while Ellie and Jack had coffee, then both men walked her home to her rented room. And while Noah was walking George back to the RV for the night, he told him about some of the things he had found in the town and surrounding mountains that could use his attention. “If you’ll stay a few days, I’ll take you out to the vagrants’ camp, give you a car tour of some of the more isolated cabins dotting the landscape, take you to Valley Hospital and the nursing home, and to meet the pastor in Grace Valley.”