Read Forbidden Online

Authors: Kimberley Griffiths Little

Forbidden (23 page)

BOOK: Forbidden
2.09Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Using his fingers, Kadesh wiped at the tears trailing along my cheeks. “Circumstances were desperate and unusual. I could never look at you differently, Jayden. Why would I shun you for trying to stay alive? For defending yourself and your sister? Of course you needed to come here when you lost the protection of your tribe. There is no one to blame but Horeb.”

“He’s gone mad, I fear. In his own mind he has good reasons for everything he’s done since he—we—lost Zenos, his elder brother. I pray I never see him again.”

He gave me a brief smile. “We think alike, daughter of Pharez.”

There was a moment of utter quiet as we looked into each other’s eyes and then Kadesh bent his head down and crushed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, opening my mouth, kissing him back so deeply I was sure I must be soaring. As if my soul would leave my body and take flight into the universe of stars overhead.

Even as I savored his mouth on my lips and neck and eyes, his hands tangled in the curls of my hair, what we were doing was forbidden. I was breaking my family’s betrothal with each kiss, each stolen caress, and each whispered word.

I was willing to sacrifice my life and my family and my reputation for Kadesh. We were meant to be together, and no one could tell me otherwise. His lips lingered on mine, softly kissing me over and over again, and I drowned in the sensation.

When we broke apart to catch our breaths I gazed into his dark eyes as he brushed my hair from my face. He bowed his head over my hand, kissing each of my fingers, and then finally pressing his lips into my palm as he’d done so long ago.

“If you do not leave to go home,” I told him quietly, “Horeb will eventually find you, and he’ll kill you without blinking twice. Without my clan and tribe, an outcast, we have no protection, nobody to call on to help us.”

“I’m not planning on challenging them, especially not alone. I know how to keep a low profile.” His hand slid down my arm and he grasped my fingers to pull me to my feet. “Come here. We need to talk.”

Kadesh checked the outer tile paths that circled the temple to make sure we were still alone. Then he led me to the table, where we sank into two cushioned chairs facing each other, inches apart, our knees pressed together as we clasped hands, our grip so tight I thought we might never come apart again.

“I’ve sent a message to my uncle with the returning caravan that I had business in Tadmur and would return home in a few weeks.”

“How did you get here? Surely you didn’t walk again.”

He gave a wry smile. “This time, I managed to keep my camel underneath me. And I’ve brought sixty camels for your father just as I promised him long ago. I have them being held
by a camel trader I’ve done business with for many years, right here in Tadmur.”

“Sixty! But the original promise was for fifty, which was incredibly generous.”

Kadesh shook his head. “I’m buying another hundred camels as a promise for you. More for when we wed.”

I stared at him in disbelief. “My father has never owned half that in his life.”

“Jayden,” Kadesh said quietly. “You are worth ten times that—and a hundred camels is hardly my life’s fortune.”

The wealth he alluded to was unimaginable. “You are richer than any king!”

He laughed. “My uncle has more than a thousand camels. We run many caravans.”

“So it’s true,” I whispered, still in shock.

“What’s true?”

“The rumors of the wealth of the frankincense lands. The gold and camels and castles!”

Glancing around, Kadesh put a finger to his lips and I dropped my rising voice. “I can’t wait to show it all to you.”

He pulled me out of the chair and into his lap, and his arms were so strong and comforting I felt safe in a way I never had before. I ran my fingers through his long, dark hair, and he kissed me again with such urgency, a strange wonderment that he was mine swept over me.

He finally pulled back, his eyes searching mine. “How soon can you leave?”

“What do you mean, leave?”

“I want to take you to my home, where it’s safe. I want my uncle to meet you.”

His words took my breath away. “Despite all the suffering of the last months,” I said softly, “I’m worried about Leila. I want to make sure she really is safe here at the temple, and that they will take care of her. And Sahmril—” My voice choked as I pictured her with Dinah.

“I want to take you to a place where Horeb can never find you or hurt you again. In the southern lands, we can await word of your father’s return from the desert, and then we can officially marry. Your family is welcome to come with us to my home, and you will never be apart again.”

Hope rose inside me, but I shook my head. “My father will never leave his tribe or clan, despite my uncle Abimelech’s death. In fact, he will be motivated even more to help Judith and see Horeb rise to his rightful place. I’m sure he will take Horeb under his wing as his own son now. My father doesn’t see the bad in others. He never has. But perhaps when he learns of what Horeb did to his father, and to me?”

We fell into a moment of silence.

Kadesh said, “As long as Horeb is out there, I won’t leave you alone.”

I leaned forward and kissed his lips. “As much as I want to, I can’t go with you to your wonderful frankincense lands until I find my sister Sahmril. I need to rescue her first before I can move forward with my own life. Sahmril needs to be with her real family: me, Leila, and my father. I promised my mother on her deathbed that I would watch out for her.”

“Have you had any word since Dinah and Shem parted at the crossroads?”

“Nothing at all. But that day was one of the worst of my life, watching them disappear across the desert toward Mari.”

“Mari?” Kadesh’s face turned bleak as he recalled their destination. “Jayden, have you heard about what’s happening in Mari?”

I shook my head, puzzled at the strange expression on Kadesh’s face.

He hesitated. “The place is in chaos. King Hammurabi of Babylon has invaded, determined to take Mari under his rule. Thousands of soldiers occupy the city. There are curfews, rebellion, fights that break out daily. Very little commerce comes in and out of the city right now, and the tribal people are avoiding it at all costs.”

“No,” I whispered, feeling my hope for finding Sahmril fail me.

“Hammurabi’s plan is to topple the government and take over the city. He wants to rule all of Mesopotamia.”

Misery washed over me. “But Sahmril is there. With Hammurabi’s invasion, Shem’s family might have left. Or—or, if they didn’t escape before the siege, they could all be—”

“Don’t think that. You must stay hopeful.”

A cold chill settled in my belly. Searching for Sahmril in a city under siege was risky. Was any of Shem’s family still alive? Perhaps I was foolish to even consider it.

“But what if I can help her?” I whispered. “How can I live my life not knowing her fate? How can I break the promise I
made to my mother? I should have kept Sahmril with me. I should never have let her go.”

“No, Jayden. Sahmril wouldn’t have lasted another two days with us on the desert. You did what you had to.”

Kadesh’s expression was sober. Gripping his hand, I murmured, “I’ve seen young children—toddlers, even—in the temple orphanage. Children who have lost their parents to war or illness. The little girls remind me of Sahmril. If I don’t find her, she will never know her true family. I know Dinah won’t raise her as her own, that she’ll only keep her as a servant.” My eyes welled up.

Kadesh kissed my hand. “Jayden—”

“Leila always says that memories of Sahmril will kill my heart. That she probably already died from lack of milk on the desert before Shem’s family ever reached Mari. But I have to know for certain, or I will never forgive myself.”

“Jayden, we
will
find her. And I will protect you with my life and all that I have.”

“But how can we travel together? Not—” I broke off, embarrassed.

“I already have a plan. Since we can’t marry until a contract is arranged between your father and my uncle, we will travel as brother and sister.”

“Can we do this?” I whispered.

Kadesh held me tight, and I closed my eyes against the richness of his cloak, breathing in his smell. “Have faith in me.”

I looked into his eyes and we gazed at each other without speaking. I always thought my faith was steadfast and
immovable, but life had become so uncertain and dangerous, I found myself faltering. “I do have faith in you, more than ever,” I said as he tenderly kissed my palms.

Later that night, as I stole along the outer balcony walls, the moon waned, barely lighting the stone stairs. Torches glowed by the doorways, but the sentries had just looped around to the east. Now was my chance.

I crept up the stairs, inserted the key into the apartment door I shared with Leila and the other girls, and slipped behind the floor-length draperies. The large, airy bathing room was quiet. Hours had now gone by and the festival of Ashtoreth with its dancing and banquet and rites was officially over.

My neck felt clammy, my stomach sick as images of the Sacred Marriage Rite continued to race through my mind. I slipped through the sitting room and made my way to Leila’s bedroom, tiptoeing past several sleeping alcoves.

“Leila,” I whispered, touching her arm. She rolled over sleepily and I slid under the sheets, snuggling my face into her silky hair and smelling the familiar musky perfume she usually wore.

On the soft temple bed, we lay side by side, reminding me of so many cold nights on the desert when we bundled up in our blankets under the stars.

“Jayden, what are you doing here?” she whispered. “Can’t you sleep? Sometimes I get a little homesick. Sometimes I dream about Mother.”

“Me too,” I whispered back, biting my tongue at all the
things I wanted to say. I wanted to shake her until she cried and abandoned the temple lifestyle. Instead I said, “I miss Father terribly. And the tents, and the camels and our cousins.” My voice broke as memories of home and all that I’d lost living here at the temple the past several weeks rushed over me.

Leila let out a sigh. “I don’t miss any of that, only our parents.”

I watched her in the dark, holding her hand, drinking in her voice, thinking of the dangerous trip to Mari and then to the southern lands with Kadesh, that there was a very real chance I might not see her for a long time.

Softly, I told Leila that Kadesh had returned and of our plan to find Sahmril. I could see her dark eyes staring at me, hear her gasps of astonishment as I related our plans of traveling under cover of false pretenses.

“I can’t leave Sahmril in a city that could be destroyed. Especially by enemy tribes and customs.” I paused, then said, “Leila, come with us, please.”

Adamantly, she shook her head. “Never will I cross a desert again. That last trip nearly killed me. This decision is not my choice, Jayden. It is yours. This place”—she glanced around at the lovely rooms of the temple—“is my choice.”

“Leaving you here at the Temple of Ashtoreth isn’t what I want for you, Leila. Please, go back to Father. It would destroy him to know you are living here worshipping the goddess. Let our grandmother take care of you. I keep thinking of our mother and her watching you and that man—”

“Stop trying to make me feel guilty!” Leila said. “I may
have been born into a tribal family, but my heart belongs with the women of the temple, the lifestyle of the city, and the work I’ve found here in the orphanage. This is what I want.” She buried her face into my neck. “I’m sorry, Jayden, but this is where I belong now.”

We stared at each other in the dark as we lay on the soft pillows, and Leila didn’t say another word. No explanation about what I’d seen her do with that strange man after the ceremony. No regrets. But I saw her eyes glisten as she swallowed hard. “I’m not alone. I have the other girls. Please don’t worry about me. I’m safe here and have everything I need. But I’ll see you soon, won’t I? You’ll return to the tribe with Sahmril, right?”

I gulped back all my fears for Leila. “The time is getting close to return to the winter lands. I won’t make it back from Mari in time. And—and you know I can never go back. Not until Horeb—” I stopped, not wanting to say how much I wanted to see him dead. Unable to tell her the truth.

“What about Horeb?”

“Whatever happens, Leila,
please
do not tell him where I am. He is not who he appears to be. I’ve broken the marriage contract by coming here. And now I’m running away with another man. Even if that man is helping me find Sahmril. Horeb and the rest of the tribe will see it otherwise, and I can’t risk it. If we ever meet again, he will kill me.”

My sister’s eyes widened. “What are you saying?”

“He branded me, remember? He thinks he owns me.”

Leila shuddered, tracing the more than dozen small, white
scars that ran along my chest and arms. “I’m so sorry, Jayden. I promise you my silence.”

I took in the beautiful, graceful room. How surreal that I’d actually lived here for a time. I gazed at the ringlets in Leila’s hair, the beaded combs and silver jewelry spread across her dressing table. The brushes and pots of rouge and kohl. The silk dresses hanging over every chair, stuffed into drawers and chests.

“Sometimes a person’s path in life is hidden,” I said softly. “Every day I wake up, it’s as though I can only see a few feet in front of me. I must do what is right for this moment.”

Leila embraced me, her tears on my cheeks. “Please survive this journey, Jayden. I can’t lose you either!”

I nodded, choking back a flood of fresh tears. “I must go. Kadesh waits for me out in the hills with the camels.”

After Leila fell asleep, the moon set, leaving cold, brilliant stars in a charcoal sky. I shivered as I slid out from under the linen and crossed the bedroom for the last time.

The scent of musk stirred the air as I opened the wooden chest next to Leila’s bed. I lifted dresses and veils, and finally spotted my mother’s beautiful alabaster box. I snatched it up as a wave of homesickness washed over me.

Quietly, I lifted the lid and studied the statue of the dancing woman with her long, carved hair, arms reaching for the heavens. The figure reminded me of my mother, her gentle beauty and faith as she taught me to dance.

BOOK: Forbidden
2.09Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Hard Evidence by Mark Pearson
Unzipped? by Karen Kendall
The Hunting by Sam Hawksmoor
Dancing Aztecs by Donald E. Westlake
Honeymoon For One by Zante, Lily
The Firefly Witch by Alex Bledsoe
Undone by Lila Dipasqua
Bodyguard by Suzanne Brockmann
Flip This Zombie by Petersen, Jesse