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“Tears of happiness for Hakak,” I quickly answered, dropping my head.

My grandmother frowned, and I suspected that she didn’t believe me. How foolish I was to show my emotions!

When I glanced up again, Kadesh was standing in my line of vision across the grassy pavilion. Hidden behind the folds of his foreign, rich cloak, his dark eyes followed me as I danced and whirled and moved my hips. My limbs trembled as I understood that Kadesh had placed the hood purposely over his face so that he could gaze at me unnoticed by the rest of the guests. I was unable to wrench my eyes away from him, too. I wanted to sink into his soul, melt into his heart, dance just for him for the rest of the night. The heat of the candles made me dizzy. The mysterious connection between us left me breathless.

Envy filled my throat as Laham took Hakak’s hand. Together they circled the dancers and guests as the tapestry partitions opened to let them through. The women trilled when Laham lifted Hakak into his arms and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as the high-pitched clamor, the joyful shouts from the crowd, filled the air with a tremendous, happy noise. The uproar continued as Laham carried his bride into the wedding tent where they would spend their first
week together, just the two of them.

I snuffed out the flame of my candles with shaking hands. My insane longing was almost a tangible, palpable sensation. I needed to get away. I glanced quickly at Kadesh, and then caught Horeb staring at me through the crowd of guests. My gut tightened.

I ran, darting through the rugs and empty platters of food and children playing games. Laughter and music roared about me. I was light-headed from the dancing and the heat.

“Jayden,” I heard Seraiah call after me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t run fast enough, my legs shaking, my face dribbling hopeless tears.

I finally staggered into the safety of my own camp, catching my breath, horrified at being caught watching Kadesh by Horeb.

Squatting at the hearth fire, I stirred the cold ashes, melancholy sweeping over me. “There are times when a woman’s emotions are higher and fuller than any other,” I whispered, repeating my mother’s long-ago sentiment. Knowing I could never talk to my mother about Horeb made my eyes burn with grief. I missed her smile and her comforting arms more than ever. Most of all, I missed her wisdom and ability to make my world right and safe.

The bushes near the tent rustled and I lifted my head, dropping the stick to the ground. My belly lurched as Kadesh ducked under the tent’s canopy.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I told him feverishly. “There will be talk, and I fear that someone will see you.”

“I understand, but please, grant me a moment. I need to speak with you. Because I’ve come to tell you that I’m leaving.” Kadesh quietly dropped to one knee even as he respectfully averted his face.

My head jerked up. “What?”

Kadesh finally lifted his face and gazed straight back at me, his cloak spread about him on the hearth carpet. “I waited until after the wedding, knowing what it means to you and your family. But there’s a caravan from Edom camped outside the oasis. They’re headed south and willing to let me ride with them. Early tomorrow they depart.”

“Edomites? But they robbed us!”

“Not all are thieves. These are good men. I know them. Please try to understand. I must return to my uncle, now that I am well. I’m sure he’s presumed me dead by now. There are affairs I must take care of.”

I lowered my head, fighting the thousand jabs of sorrow in my heart. “Then you must go,” I whispered.

“It might be many months before I can return,” Kadesh went on.

“Then I wish you God’s safe blessings in your travels,” I managed to say.

His eyes, so steeped in mystery, settled on my face. “Is that all you wish, Jayden, daughter of Pharez?”

I wished so much more. Above all I wished I could tell him what was in my heart, even as it tore into pieces at the news that he was leaving.

“May God’s faith be boundless in your heart,” I added,
choking on the words.

“Nothing more than that?” he asked slowly, and I knew he wanted things from me that I couldn’t give, that I wasn’t allowed to give.

But suddenly, I shifted forward, throwing away caution in an impulsive burst. “What do you wish me to say?”

His hand reached out to touch my face, and I leaned into the warmth of his palm, my resolve melting. “Just tell me that you will be here when I return.”

“You know I’ve been promised to Horeb.”

Kadesh gave an impatient laugh. “Yes. Your entire family reminds me of it nearly daily.”

“But betrothals can be broken,” I let slip, speaking my greatest wish before I could stop the words. My hands flew to my face, heat rushing up my neck. “I mean—Kadesh, it’s so difficult. My entire family is involved—my uncle, my aunt, the dowry herds . . .”

“Let me speak to your father, then!”

I shook my head. “You’re still a stranger here, and to talk to my father so soon after we’ve met . . .” These were not the words I wanted to say.

Kadesh leaned in even closer, and I ached all the way to my toes with his presence, his smell, the nearness of his face just inches from mine. “The moment I saw you that day on the bluff—I knew we were meant to be.”

“Kadesh, please don’t say these things.” Quickly, I put up my hand, afraid. “Someone will hear you.”

He caught my hand in his and my heart thudded against
my ribs as he kissed each one of my fingers, then pressed my palm to his mouth. I held still, not wanting the moment to end. When he lifted his head again, he said, “I’m going to come back for you.”

“But what if . . . there is so little time . . . Horeb . . . the wedding—”

The sounds of the wedding party fluttered toward us. More drumming, singing. Laughter. I smelled ripe fruit and roasted lamb. Woodsmoke covered the stars like gauzy linen. I should have gotten up and returned to the celebration before I was missed, but I didn’t move.

Kadesh’s face came closer and his warm, spiced breath rushed across my cheeks. “Let me seal my promise to you with the vow of my love,” he whispered, and before I could say another word, he pulled me into his chest, and his lips covered mine with a soft, urgent intensity I didn’t think was possible. I couldn’t speak; I couldn’t move, even though my body was on fire, every part of my skin exploding in a frenzy of pleasure. My eyes closed as he lifted me against him. I rose in his arms, and we were tightly sealed together, kissing fervently as my hands slid along the rich fabric of that marvelous cloak and then wound up and around his neck.

Hot, lovely darkness dipped and swirled. I tasted his mouth and smelled the spicy fragrance of his skin as he kissed me again and again.

All at once, he swept his cloak around me, enclosing us together in a private warmth against the cool night air. When I felt his heart pounding against my own breast, it was as though
we had become one person, one soul.

“Please don’t leave,” I said against his lips. “What if something happens to you? I couldn’t bear it.”

“I won’t let the desert claim me, beautiful Jayden. Not when I know you’re waiting for me.”

I started to speak again, but he shook his head, drowning the words in my throat as he proceeded to kiss my lips, my face, my eyes, my neck. Time seemed to stop. The stars fell from the heavens. When he stepped back I was breathless, as though I’d been turned inside out.

We stared at each other, his hands tight around mine. His face held a joy I’d never seen before, and I wondered if my expression mirrored his. “Hold out your hand,” he whispered. Kadesh untied the pouch at his waist and brought out a handful of the pale yellow frankincense, pouring it into my palm. “Frankincense tears for my love. To pledge my commitment to you.”

“Oh, I can’t take these, Kadesh!” I said automatically, as my thoughts focused on his words,
my love
.

“Take them. They’ll bring a good price. Don’t hesitate to sell them if you need to while I’m gone.” He gently smiled as if not wanting to worry me. “I hope circumstances will never be that desperate. That instead these nugget tears will oil your hair or perfume your feet, bringing memories of me to your mind. But I have another gift for that purpose.”

He pulled a silver anklet chain from the depths of the leather pouch and held it up to the moonlight. Feathery strands of silver dangled like lake fronds. “I brought this from my
home. My grandmother gave this chain to me when she left this world. She told me to save it for the woman who would be my wife one day, and then pass it on to our daughter. I give it to you, Jayden, as a promise of our future together.”

I held the jewelry, studying the anklet’s etched silver. The symbols of Kadesh’s mysterious clan had been carved into the surface of the wide silver band. An image of a tree with a myriad of gnarled and twisted branches, silhouetted by the halo of the sun on the horizon of the sea. I’d never seen trees like this before, and I knew immediately what grew on those unusual trunks.

Kadesh bent down and lifted the hem of my dress to tie the silver clasp around my ankle. I was glad my dress was long enough to keep it hidden. When he stood I kissed him again, knowing I was now fully the betrayer of my betrothal for what I was doing, but I didn’t care. I had committed an infidelity, but in my heart Kadesh was the choice I should have made. Could have made—if I’d been given a chance.

He kissed me in return, more urgently, as if time was running out. I clutched at his arm, my hands shaking. “I’m afraid for you. For us. Your home is so far away. A whole world away.”

“It’s a journey I know well, Jayden. One I’ve taken a hundred times.”

“What if something happens to you? What if you
can’t
come back?” I stopped the words I’d almost added:
What if I never see you again?

“Believe what I say, Jayden,” he said, lifting my chin so our eyes would meet. “The road will be long as I leave, but short
and swift when I return.
Believe it
. Believe me.”

Kadesh lifted my hands to his face one last time. His mouth lingered on mine, holding me for that fraction of eternity, as though I could glimpse into the future. “One day, Jayden, you and I will be under the wedding canopy,” he whispered.

His words spoke of a heaven I wanted more than life itself. At that moment, I’d risk everything to make that dream come true.

“If I don’t return before your family starts the return journey south to your winter lands,” he whispered against my ear, “the Edomites of the red canyon lands will know where I am. They will help you find me. Remember that.”

Our fingers slowly drew apart, a sob caught in my throat, and within moments Kadesh’s beautiful dark robes swirled away into the black of the night.

H
ardly a moment had passed before Horeb appeared out of the darkness. His face was ghostly and macabre in the campfire’s dying light. “It’s a sign of insanity to talk out loud to yourself, Jayden,” he said to me while my mind roared with the impossibility of his appearance not even a breath after Kadesh’s departure. “Does your mind go mad after the long journey under the hot sun?”

I stood there, rigid, terrified. Where had Horeb come from, and why was he here? Most unthinkable was the alarm sounding in my gut at what he might have seen before he made his presence known.

“Please leave,” I said, darting inside the tent and hoping he wouldn’t follow. “I don’t want to speak to you right now.”

He shoved his way through the doors of the tent and leaned
over me, his lips curling. “Is that any way to talk to your future husband?”

“You’re not my husband yet,” I managed to spit out. He took a step closer and I willed myself not to flinch as he grabbed my arm.

“It’s only a matter of time,” he said, his eyes taunting me. He jerked his chin toward the direction that Kadesh had just taken. “Someday you’ll be in my arms, as you were just now in the stranger’s arms.”

He stared hard at me, intimidating and powerful. It was clear Horeb would never love me, that he wasn’t capable of love for anyone but himself. His eyes were full of lust for every girl in camp, even my sister. It was the only explanation for his indifference to the sight of Kadesh’s embrace.

“Let me go!” I commanded, trying not to show fear.

“Why? So you can run after the stranger? Your father will not be pleased with the news I bring to his ears, dear Jayden.”

“You know nothing!” I bluffed.

Horeb tightened his hold, digging his fingers into my flesh. “I’ve seen enough. Perhaps I should take care of Kadesh right now—tonight.” His mouth turned up into a cruel smile. “It’s been a long time since I killed a man in battle. He and I fought once. But this time I will win.”

“No!” The cry slipped out before I could stop it.

Horeb laughed, reading my face. “I’ve got another idea,” he said, and his breath was hot against my cheek. “After I slit the stranger’s throat, I’ll come back and take you into the forest
far from camp. After that, nobody else will want you again.”

His threat horrified me. “How could you? You, who are supposed to love and care for me.”

“You’d better watch your mouth, my betrothed.” His fingers pinched me harder and my legs crumpled, but Horeb held me up, his grip bruising my skin. If he tried to force me to do anything, I would kill him first. The realization gave me a peculiar sense of strength as well as terror.

I lowered my chin, worried I’d given too much away. Worried I’d endangered Kadesh’s chance at an escape. “He’s long gone, so keep your dagger in its weak sheath.”

Horeb laughed and pushed me away. “The stranger is a fool to journey into the southern wilderness during the fiery part of the summer. The caravan he travels with is actually a band of escaping thieves. Once the wells finish drying up, they’ll all die.”

“You’re lying,” I said, gulping down my fear.

“If you’re lucky, you won’t have to worry about ruining your father’s reputation. You’ll probably never see your precious stranger again.”

With that, he departed, snapping the doors of the tent shut. I grabbed the center pole to steady myself. This couldn’t be happening. Horeb would never release me from the betrothal now, if only to spite me.