Forbidden (33 page)

Claire felt a peculiar sensation inside her. She wasn't quite sure what it was. “Okay.”

“I thought you should know. So you don't have to feel guilty.” He got out of the car then, shifting without removing his clothes. “Luna Lake is straight north from here. Just stay along the road and you can't miss it.” He bounded off into the forest.

She looked down at the shreds of clothing littering the ground and felt nauseous. Her eyes started to burn and tears threatened. She started to wipe her eyes angrily, but then remembered
Abuela
Carlotta, the matriarch of their pack, telling her once that she scheduled time every week to cry. That tears cleansed the soul, focused the mind.

She could use a little soul cleansing right now.

Reaching for a tissue from a box between the seats, she let choking sobs claim her, alone in the darkness where no one could see.

*   *   *

The rushing wind slowly cleared Alek's mind. So much made sense now that had confused him for years. But the knowledge wasn't what he'd imagined. He might have known Lenny was corrupt, but a torturer? A killer? That left him stunned and disgusted. He wasn't sure how he was going to keep the knowledge out of his face and scent the next time he saw the chief.

As the lights of the town neared, he had to decide where to go first. His apartment for a shower, or Mom and Dad's house? Or even the police station to turn himself in and take the punishment for being out past curfew. Did he want people to know he'd slept with Claire? He just didn't know. He wanted people to be happy that he'd found the woman of his dreams, not pity him because he was in a single mating with a woman who didn't love him. He'd heard of strong alpha males who had multiple females mated to them—like his old pack leader. Nikoli loved the attention and felt it his duty to give each and every one of them at least a little of what they wanted and needed. His body was available to all, his heart only to a few. It didn't bother Nikoli that the women all loved him and were hurt by his indifference.

But Alek wasn't like that. He wanted
one
person, not dozens. He wanted Claire.

Or was that an illusion? How could he want only her when he'd just met her?

Paula was stable, kind, patient. She showed up on his doorstep with chicken soup when he had the flu, she spent time with him on the suicide hotline to help people who needed a friendly voice. Why not Paula? Why not other women in town who he liked enough to date?

He didn't want to do this. None of it. He just wanted to curl up in bed and not think about anything or anyone.

That's the depression part of pining
.
Push past it.
He heard the bobcat healer's voice in his mind and realized it wasn't a memory. She really had implanted a link into his head when she put up the wall between him and Claire.

And if I don't?

He could feel reality grow still around him, felt a distant thrum like a tension headache starting at the front of his skull. He stopped running so he could “listen” for the voice in his mind.
Then you'll die. You won't want to bathe, eat, or move. You'll
literally
curl up in bed and pine away. I know. I've been there and I barely survived. Get past it now while it's new, before it grows any stronger. It's a lot easier to do while you're still you. You still have your life, your friends, your family. Living alone is nothing new.

She paused in his mind and it felt odd to be alone in there suddenly.
Whether or not you think you've somehow earned this pain, get past it to help the kids who didn't do anything to deserve what's happened to them.

Somehow earned this pain.
The words resonated with him, struck something deep inside that he hadn't realized was there. Images of the past flooded over him, memories long locked away. Hiding in the closet with Denis and Sonya while his sister Vera and their mother fought the snakes. The women hadn't uttered a single cry of pain as the snakes had repeatedly bitten them, spreading venom through their bodies. They had killed the snakes, but the snakes had killed them too. When he'd crept out of the closet and saw them on the floor he'd been overwhelmed with the thought that it should have been him. He was supposed to be the man of the house, even though he was only eleven—Darrell's age. But he'd obeyed his mother and guarded the younger kids … and sacrificed his mother and sister in the process.

He had earned this pain.

No
. Amber's voice was clear, bell-like, firm. He didn't realize she could see his memories, hear his musings.
Their deaths were the fault of others. You saved lives that night. Whether or not you believe it, you did. And not just yours and your siblings'. Your mother's sacrifice allowed you to be here to save the people in this town. Your job now is to live up to that sacrifice.

Her words made sense. If Alek had fought alongside his mother, he would have fallen, and quickly. Denis and Sonya would have been short work for the killers and nobody in Luna Lake would be questioning what was happening to the town's children. He was really the only insider who
could
do this.

It was enough to push him past the depression for the moment. He turned and edged along the house line until he reached his apartment. He needed a shower and a shave.

Then it was time to get to work.

Just as he was climbing up the back stairs to the patio door of his place, he heard the flapping of large wings. Alek looked up to see a snowy owl, swooping among the treetops. It climbed higher and higher until it was just a speck, circling like a vulture under the bright spot on the clouds. Then it hurled down like an arrow, flattening and spreading wings just over the tips of the highest pine.

As the bird cruised past, Alek recognized the pattern of spots on the wings' underside. It was Scott! How many times had he flown above Alek while they ran the Ascension course, practicing for the next challenge? Alek knew that pattern—the one that looked like the Big Dipper—like the back of his own hand.

But Scott wasn't an alpha. How could he be out flying days before the full moon? Alek was tempted to call out to his brother and ask about his new ability. But then he'd have to explain what he was doing outside on a snowy night at nearly dawn.

Alek waited for long minutes, keeping to the shadows, until Scott finished sky dancing among the trees and flew up and above the tree line. Once the owl was gone, Alek quickly shifted forms and managed to unlock the door with the spare key he kept in a hidden spot before his toes froze off.

By first light, he had replaced the broken window at the police station and replaced the grate cover over the air duct. He was a little surprised nobody had been to the station to notice. Where was the night shift? There should be someone around. He had to admit that had been clever on Claire's part. Lenny had obviously locked her in the basement after he'd kicked her. She'd used a pocket knife to unscrew the grate in the meditation room and had crawled upstairs through the ducts. That must have been where she found the photos—by sheer accident. But she'd found a way out. It took some doing to make both grates look like they hadn't been touched. Nobody ever cleaned the baseboards in this place, so it was painfully obvious that someone had been fiddling with the duct. Some dust from the back of a file cabinet in the basement, carefully crusted in the screw grooves and around the edges made it look unkempt once more. Then a few minutes with a pipe wrench to carefully unscrew a joint in the pipes in the ceiling to explain the water on the floor and desk. When he was done, it looked like nothing but a frozen pipe had caused the damage. Only time would tell whether the ruse worked.

He'd hoped that Claire would show up so he could lock her back in downstairs and she could avoid that particular beating. He ran his fingers over the bulge in the metal door to the basement. They were bulges he'd caused when he was about Denis's age. But unlike Denis, he could shift and was already showing alphic signs. He hadn't done anything wrong when he'd been locked in. It was the only place to hold someone unstable, before the cage in the house was built. He thought again about Tammy, alone in that cage. Was her mind like his right now, in turmoil? Would he be the next occupant of that cage, when this
pining
made him insane?

 

CHAPTER 24

Claire stood under the hot water for a long, long time. Her muscles felt like they couldn't hold her up. Of course, racing a dozen miles at top speed to get here hadn't helped. But sitting in the car after she'd finally stopped crying, she'd felt a sense of foreboding. She was being stalked and was in no condition to fight. Retreat had been the safest course, so she'd run. She'd decided to run in human form. The boots Amber had given her fit well and were broken in. And the clothes kept her warmer than her thin fur would have. These winters would be a problem … if she stayed.

Climbing the tree and jumping to the windowsill hadn't worked right away, but on the third try, she'd caught the wood and thankfully, the window hadn't been latched since Rachel had opened it to air the room the previous day. If the sounds of her arrival had woken anyone, nobody had come to investigate.

She was just rinsing the bubbles from her hair when there was a knock on the bedroom door and Dani's voice rang out. “Claire, get out of the shower! You're using up all the hot water. Other people live here too.”

She laughed. She'd gone from a guest to a resident just that fast. “Sorry!” she called out. “Just finishing. Be right out.”

Dani came in without asking and, from the smell, brought Rachel with her. Claire heard the other women gasp. The clothes! Crap, she hadn't disposed of them yet. Even omega noses would be able to smell what she'd been doing.

Taking a deep breath and steeling herself, she wrapped herself in a towel and opened the door.

Yep, Dani had the sweatshirt in her hands and both of them were slack-jawed in amazement. Dani recovered first, whispering, “O. M. G. You are
kidding
me! You and
Alek
?!”

Rachel elbowed Dani's ribs and said, in a barely audible tone, “Told ya so. When two people fight like that, lust is in the air. That's where you've been, huh?”

It was easy to let them jump to the conclusion they wanted, so Claire nodded. “It just sort of
happened
. The chief is probably going to beat the crap out of us for it.”

Rachel let out a sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed heavily. “Yeah. He will. Omegas are forbidden from having relationships. Plus, I heard at the diner what happened between you and Paula. She's going to try to chew your face off when she finds out about
this
.”

Just like at home—news travels fast in a small town. She wasn't surprised that everyone already knew about her encounter with Paula. It had been happening her whole life, so why would now be any different? “Nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is try not to get killed before the next Ascension.”

Dani pursed her lips. “If you want to keep him, you might have to challenge Paula to a mating fight. The loser would have to leave town.”

She heard Amber's voice in the back of her mind, causing an immediate headache that made her eye twitch.
That would be a good distraction for later. But for now, you need to bring Rachel to see Bitty. Find an excuse. And bring the other girls along too.

“Maybe. I don't know for sure that I want him.” That was the honest truth.

Sighing, Dani leaned against the dresser and crossed her arms over her chest. “He's my brother and I love him. But he can be the world's biggest jerk, so think carefully. Life won't be easy with him. I've always thought that the reason Paula chased him is because she thought she could change him.” She laughed. “You can't change Alek.”

Rachel nodded vigorously. “He can be super sweet, but sometimes he doesn't think, y'know? He says shit all the time to people and doesn't even realize it's offensive.”

No arguing with that, so Claire didn't try. Instead, she walked across the room and started taking her clothes out of the suitcase to put away in the dresser drawers.

Dani let out a little laugh. “Do you remember the time Alek helped decorate the Christmas tree?”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “And said, ‘Gosh, I hope you got the right kind of tree this time. We just barely got rid of the smell of cat pee.' In one swoop, he offended Tammy, who had just moved out a week before, every other cat in the room, and Mom and Dad.”

“Plus Scott, who'd cut down the tree the year before. And he didn't even realize what he'd said.” Dani shook her head. “Gotta love him.”

In unison, they continued, “So you don't kill him!”

That was just like him. She realized that her first impression of him was what everyone else saw too. “But he can be nice too.” The other girls nudged each other and wiggled eyebrows as she buttoned up her shirt and tucked it into the black jeans she'd put on. “By the way, speaking of offending, would you mind coming out to the Kragans' houses with me this morning, Rachel? I stopped by Claude and Egan's house at sunset like I was supposed to, but I didn't know what all you do there. I just made them some soup and told them I would come back in the morning to clean. They said they get up early on Saturday. Dani, maybe you could come too?”

The other woman slapped her own forehead. “Oh, man! I'm so sorry! My bad totally. I don't know where my head was yesterday afternoon. The whole time from lunch to dinner was a blur. I absolutely should have stuck with you for the rest of the day. I don't even know what happened after we brought Darrell back to the house.”

Dani asked, “Why do you want me to come?”

Claire shrugged and lied, hoping Rachel's fuzzy memory would cover it. “Bitty asked to see you. Don't know why.”