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Authors: Dwan Abrams

BOOK: For the Sake of Love
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The staff member told them, “If you get hungry, you can enjoy round-the-clock informal and personalized dining. Choose between the stunning Executive Lounge, the Mezzanine level overlooking the lounge, or alternatively, the ultimate in-room dining experience. The glass roof of the Executive Lounge also makes for the brightest sunlit breakfasts and the most reviving afternoon teas. We also invite you to Plunder the Pantry.” She used air quotes around the words
Plunder the Pantry,
then continued. “Each evening from 8:30 p.m. onward, you can take your pick of complimentary snacks and light bites in the well-stocked fridges of the Executive Lounge.”

Bria loved her British accent! She sounded so prim and proper.

“There are plenty of grand restaurants nearby; two of them are right next door,” she continued. “The award-winning Library at our neighboring hotel, The Rubens, is renowned for its roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, while the cool and relaxed BBar restaurant offers inventive cocktails and exciting South African-themed cuisine.”

Bria and Nya exchanged glances. They had never eaten South African food before.

“Our guests can add bills from The Rubens and BBar to their forty-one Hotel account,” she explained. “You can also enjoy our finest selection of champagnes with light dishes, including Sevruga caviar in the intimate, safari-chic Leopard Champagne Bar at The Rubens.”

Just then Bria's cell phone rang. She saw that it was Kerryngton and answered.

“How was the flight?” he asked.

“Smooth. That plane was all that. You're spoiling me. I don't think I can ever view a commercial flight the same ever again.”

He chuckled. “Stick with me, baby, and you won't have to. You checked into the hotel yet?”

“We're checked in.” She smiled at Nya who was sprawled across the bed. She noticed Chance plucking a couple of grapes and tossing them into his mouth. “The rooms are . . .” She paused momentarily to think of the right word. “Exquisite,” she said with an exhale. “This place is everything.”

“Glad you like it.”

“How could I not?” She gestured with her hand. “It's elegant, luxurious, and,” she looked in the face of the staff member, “the staff is so caring. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, man,” Chance yelled loud enough for Kerryngton to hear him. “Thanks.”

“Don't mention it,” Kerryngton said. “Once you all get settled in I'll send the driver over to pick you up for dinner.”

When he mentioned the driver Bria remembered the Rolls. “Oh yeah, I can't believe I almost forgot about the Rolls-Royce. What in the world?”

“What, baby?” He sounded amused.

“I'm just sayin'. We weren't expecting all that.”

“Well, get used to it. That's how I get down, and when you're down with me, that's how you'll get down too.”

Bria's stomach fluttered. Kerryngton's take-charge attitude mixed with confidence but not arrogance turned her on. She couldn't deny that she was feeling him. His good looks, charm, larger-than-life personality, and alpha male characteristics were winning Bria over. Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

“You think you can be ready by eight?” he said. “I want to see you.”

She wanted to see him too. She checked her watch. That gave her an hour to get ready. “Sure. How should we dress? Casual, dressy, what?”

“You can wear whatever makes you comfortable. You could wear a potato sack and still look good.”

Bria tried not to blush. Kerryngton always knew exactly what to say.

“Okay. See you in a bit,” she said and hung up.

What a man, she thought. Yes, what a man. But was he
her
man? She felt her stomach flutter again. Spade was supposed to be her man. What was she doing? She chastised herself. Was it too soon for her to be in a relationship with Kerryngton? Did the fact that she was on this trip mean they were seeing each other by default? She paced the floor, wondering if she was even ready to move on. Kerryngton was a great distraction—and she was feeling him—but she couldn't deny that her heart still belonged to Spade.

Nineteen

Bria was glad she opted to wear a sheath dress, because she, along with Nya and Chance, met up with Kerryngton at the upscale Pollen Street Social for a private dining experience. When Bria's eyes landed on Kerryngton looking all good in his designer duds she couldn't wait to melt into his arms. And melt she did. He held her nice and tight, squeezing her just right. She felt like a roll of Charmin toilet paper, squeezably soft. She closed her eyes and engulfed his masculine scent. She hadn't realized it before, but she missed him.

Kerryngton cupped her face in his hands and planted a wet kiss on Bria's glossy lips. Her lips responded naturally. Without so much as a second thought she kissed him back.

Chance cleared his throat. “Remember us?”

Bria licked her lips, feeling a little embarrassed by that public display of affection. She and Kerryngton had never kissed like that before, and she liked it . . . a lot. She wiped the corners of her mouth with her thumb and index finger.

Kerryngton pecked her lips one more time before extending his right hand to Chance. “Nice to finally meet you,” he said. They shook hands.

“Same here,” Chance told him.

He then turned to Nya and hugged her. “It's good to see you again.”

Nya giggled. “It's nice to be seen.”

They sat at the wooden table with place settings for six and the waitstaff immediately began serving them an appetizer of Cornish crab vinaigrette, Nashi pear, cauliflower sweet 'n' sour dressing, and frozen peanut powder. The food tasted delicious.

A waiter filled Kerryngton's glass with wine first. Kerryngton, an obvious wine connoisseur, swirled the fermented grape juice in his glass before taking a sip, savoring the flavor, swallowing, and then nodding his approval. The waiter then filled everyone else's glasses with the wine selection.

Bria hardly ever drank alcoholic beverages, but she didn't have a problem with an occasional social drink over dinner. “All things in moderation,” her father would always say.

Kerryngton whispered in Bria's ear, “I would've offered to let you stay with me at Corinthia Hotel in the penthouse, but I didn't want to put you in a compromising position. Having you that close would've been too much of a temptation.”

She smiled at him. Admittedly, she felt strong. However, she didn't readily place herself in positions to be tempted. She had sense enough to know that if she placed her hand atop a hot stove, she just might get burned.

“I hope you don't mind, but one of my up-and-coming artists and a music producer will be joining us for dinner,” Kerryngton announced to everyone. “They are finishing up a track in the studio and should be here shortly.”

“That's fine,” Bria said.

They talked about how excited they were to be in London and all the places they wanted to visit. While laughing at one of Chance's corny knock-knock jokes Bria's laughter came to an abrupt halt when she saw Spade and another guy walk through the door.

Spade appeared stunned. He looked from Bria to Chance to Nya and stopped dead in his tracks. “What are y'all doing here?” He sounded surprised.

Kerryngton said, “What do you mean what are they doing here?” He pushed his chair back and stood up. “What's that about? I told you my lady and her friends would be joining us.”

Bria was taken aback. She didn't quite know how to process being called Kerryngton's lady. They had never discussed that. He hadn't even asked her if she wanted to be his lady. He couldn't just assume they were in a relationship.

The guy who came in with Spade interrupted. He shook everyone's hands and introduced himself before taking a seat. Bria could tell he was trying to diffuse the situation. The way Kerryngton stood to his feet and took a power position one had no way of knowing if a fight was about to jump off.

“Your lady?” Spade repeated. His eyes never left Bria.

“Yes,” Kerryngton told him. “This is—”

Spade held up his hands, palms facing outward. He then punched his right fist in the palm of his left hand. “No introductions needed. I already know them.”

The hurt and disappointed look in Spade's eyes was more than Bria could bear. She ran out and stood in an area near the noisy kitchen. Nya followed.

With her hands resting on Bria's shoulders Nya looked her in the eyes and said, “This is some straight-up foolishness. How did you not know Spade was in London?”

Bria felt like a child being chastised by a parent. “I haven't spoken to Spade, and Kerryngton didn't mention it. I didn't even know they knew each other.”

Nya removed her hands from Bria's shoulders and started turning her neck from side to side.

“What are you looking for?” Bria asked.

“I'm looking for the cameras. This is too crazy for us not to be on TV.”

Bria agreed with her and found herself laughing out loud. “I don't know what I'm going to do. This is so awkward.” Her voice sounded like she was pleading for answers.

“Follow your heart. You've got to be true to yourself. I get that you love Spade, but he hurt you. Now you've got this dream guy Kerryngton who seems like he would do anything for you. Don't jeopardize that. Tell him the truth about you and Spade. He'll understand.”

Bria sighed. She knew Nya was on point, but that wasn't the point. Her concern was for Spade. She didn't want to flaunt her new “relationship” in his face. That wasn't her.

Kerryngton came around the corner and asked, “What just happened? Are you okay?”

Nya raised a brow and gave Bria a look that said, “Tell him.” She then said, “I'll leave you two alone.” She gave Bria's arm a light squeeze before heading back to the table.

The sound of metal clanking annoyed them.

“Let's go someplace quieter,” Kerryngton suggested. He summoned a nearby staff member and told him he needed a room to talk. The staff member directed him to an office. The space wasn't very big, but it was neat and offered some privacy. Kerryngton licked his luscious lips. “What's going on, baby?”

Bria did not want to have this conversation, but she knew she needed to. In a low voice she revealed, “That's him.”

His lips parted, but no words came out. He rubbed his face. “You were engaged to Spade?” He seemed to be asking for clarification.

Bria let out a deep breath and nodded her head.

“Okay, baby. That's in the past. Everybody's got a past.” He sounded so understanding. “Spade is an artist on one of my labels, and I'm helping him with his debut CD. That's why he's in London. We're working on his music.”

“I see.” Bria had heard many times that the world is small, but right now it felt suffocating. She appreciated him for clearing up why Spade was in Europe, but there was one more thing that needed clearing up. She bit the corner of her lip. “So, what's up with you calling me your lady?”

He grinned, showing off his polished teeth. “You have a problem with that?” His dark eyes searched her face.

“You never asked me.” She stood her ground, trying hard not to turn into putty in his strong hands.

He inched in closer to her and eased his hand around the back of her neck. Getting within an inch of her lips Bria thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, he said, “I adore you, Bria Murray. I want to be with you. Do you want to be with me?”

Adrenaline seemed to rush through her body causing her to arch her back. She couldn't put into words the way Kerryngton made her feel. His touch made every fiber of her being come alive. “I-I . . .” She touched his pecs and dug her fingernails in. She realized that she had no reason not to pursue a relationship with him. Spade had hurt her—and she still didn't know why, but she wasn't bitter. She believed in love. Her parents had taught her to judge people according to their merits, not based on what someone else had done.

She remembered her mom telling her, “Trust your heart. You may not always get it right, but you'll never get it wrong.”

She stopped denying the obvious. “Yes, I want to be with you too.” He then gave her exactly what she yearned for . . . a long, lingering kiss.

Twenty

Bria felt somewhat relieved that when she and Kerryngton returned to the table Spade had already left. She didn't want to deal with a possible confrontation and was thankful she didn't have to.

After dinner, the driver took Bria, Nya, and Chance on a scenic tour back to the hotel. The busy streets reminded Bria of the crowded streets of New York.

During the ride Nya told Bria everything she missed at the table. “Girl, Spade was tore up! He tried to play it off, but I could tell seeing you with Kerryngton messed him up.”

“Yeah, it was obvious,” Chance cosigned.

“He had the nerve to blame me for you seeing someone else,” Nya said and sucked air between her teeth.

“What?” Bria said.

“You already know I nipped that in the bud,” Nya pronounced. “He comes asking me why I
let
you start dating Kerryngton so soon after your breakup. I read him his rights. I told him you're a grown woman, and I can't
let
you do anything. Then I told him if he hadn't broken up with you in the first place Kerryngton wouldn't be an issue. I let him know straight-up that if he wanted to blame someone, he needed to blame himself.” She paused for a moment. “But then he said something I can't shake.”

“What did he say?” Bria sat on the edge of her seat.

“That he didn't break up with you because he wanted to. He broke up with you because he had to.”

Bria didn't know how to take that. What was that supposed to mean? Why did he have to break up with her? That sounded so mysterious, like Spade was a federal agent and had to protect Bria from danger. She had no clue what he meant by that.

“Well, he asked if he could come over once we got back to the hotel, and I told him he could,” Chance added.

Bria reached over Nya's lap and pinched Chance. “Are you crazy?”

“Ouch!” He massaged the spot on his thigh she had assaulted. “Big-head girl, what's the matter with you?”

“Why would you do that? I don't want to see Spade,” Bria insisted. She didn't really mean it. She wanted to see Spade to find out what he meant by having to break up with her. In spite of that, she still felt disappointed, hurt, and angry.

“Stop lying. You looked as helpless as Bambi standing in front of a hunter when you saw that man. The two of you need to talk and get closure.”

Bria didn't want to give Chance the satisfaction of knowing she agreed with him, so she rolled her eyes and pressed her back against the soft leather. Folding her arms across her bosom she said, “What's the point? I'm in a relationship with Kerryngton now. There's no need to go backward.” She tried to sound tough to conceal the vulnerability she felt. She didn't want to risk giving Spade any kind of opening for fear he'd break her heart again. She didn't believe she could handle that kind of heartbreak twice in one lifetime. No thank you, she resigned.

“Did you really just say that?” Chance eyed her suspiciously. “I don't know who you think you're foolin', but I didn't just meet you fifteen minutes ago. Save that for somebody stupid.”

“I did,” Bria fired back. “That's why I saved it for you.”

Nya giggled and tapped both of them on the thighs, her way of telling them to calm down. They arrived at the hotel and as soon as they got out of the Rolls-Royce the muggy night air enveloped them like a blanket. They went to their rooms to shower and change. Bria's cell phone rang. When she saw Kerryngton's number pop up, she hurried up and answered.

“Just checking on you,” he said.

She loved the way he cared about her. “I'm fine. Getting ready for bed.”

“I miss you already.”

His words warmed her heart. “I miss you too,” she said and meant it.

He invited her to breakfast in the morning and she accepted. They ended the call, and Bria slipped into a tank top and shorts. Her phone rang again. This time Spade's name appeared; something she hadn't seen in a long time. Bria pressed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, released it, opened her eyes, and answered.

“Hey,” Spade said. “I'm outside your hotel. Come on down,” he insisted.

She had expected to hear from him after what Chance had told her. That's why she put on clothes instead of pajamas. “I'm on my way,” she told him. She put on a pair of ankle socks with her sneakers and went to meet him.

As soon as Spade saw her he hugged her. She wasn't expecting that and hesitantly hugged him back. Her eyes immediately filled with tears. He smelled so good, and his body felt as fit as she had remembered, except for maybe a few pounds lighter.

He told her, “You look amazing.”

She felt something she hadn't felt in a while: the stirring of tiny bees' wings in her stomach. She shook her head and looked away, disarmed by the intimacy of his gaze.

“I owe you an apology,” he spoke into her loose hair.

She pulled away from him, remembering that he not only owed her an apology but an explanation. She stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

“Let's go for a walk,” he suggested, grabbing her left hand.

She allowed him to take her hand, because no matter what had happened between them she couldn't hate him. They took a stroll in St. James Park. The park appeared well cared for. Bria admired the serene collection of gardens filled with colorful blooms, manicured lawns, and groves of trees.

They sat down on a park bench in front of a pond. Bria saw some squirrels running around and wished she had brought some monkey nuts with her to feed them. She had never seen so much wildlife freely roaming a park before. Some of the ducks and geese were swimming while others walked around. For the first time in her life Bria saw some swans. Those long elegant necks and white feathers immediately added the bird to her list of beautiful things. She almost wished she hadn't seen the swans at that moment, because forever more her first memory of seeing a swan would be attached to Spade.

“Bria,” Spade began, “this isn't easy for me. You've got me all twisted right now.” He made a gesture with his hands.

She placed a manicured hand on her chest. “I've got
you
twisted?”

“Yeah. The last thing I expected to see was you all booed up with some other nicca. I'm just curious, how did you meet Mr. Kruse anyway?”

“Noneya.”

“Don't get smart. Tell me,” he demanded.

No, he didn't just snap at me,
Bria thought. “As if that's really any of your business—why do you want to know?”

“I just do. And for the record, I'm a little surprised to see you hanging out with him.” He sounded serious.

“Interesting, I could say the same thing about you.”

“Touché,” he chuckled.

“If you must know, we met at the spa grand opening.” She raised a brow.

He seemed reflective for a moment. “I see.” His eyes penetrated hers. “Why haven't you called me?” The expression on his face softened.

Bria could not believe his nerve. If her feet weren't throbbing like a toothache from all the walking around she had been doing all day, she would've left him sitting there looking as stupid as his question sounded.
Is this negro trippin'?
she thought. She wasn't violent, but she felt like the lyrics from the LL Cool J song “Mama Said Knock You Out.” She frowned and said, “
Excuse
me?” She wished he had the nerve to repeat himself so that she could go off and give him a real tongue-lashing.

He sounded angry. “I expected more loyalty than that from you.”

“Hold up, Spade.” She wagged her finger at him. “You
dumped
me, remember? I don't
owe
you anything.” She felt herself becoming upset.
What kind of foolishness?
she thought. Was he serious?

He shook his head. “You know what? I'm wrong. I just never thought . . . Never mind.”

“Never mind? How dare you do this to me again! Forget you, Spade!” She stood up, and he grabbed her arm.

“I didn't break up with you because I didn't want to be with you. I broke up with you because I was diagnosed with cancer,” he blurted out.

Bria didn't realize that her knees had gotten weak until she found herself sitting back on the bench. Tears escaped her eyes. “What did you say?” she asked barely above a whisper.

He repeated what he had said.

Bria buried her freshly washed face in his chest and cried.
Cancer?
The thought frightened her. She wanted to hold him in her arms and never let him go. If she could take away his infliction and give it to herself instead, she would. That's how much she loved that man.

He rubbed her back. “Please don't cry. That's exactly why I didn't tell you at the time.”

If Bria could have stopped the world from turning and got off, she would have. “My God, Spade, are you going to die?” She felt her heart skip a beat. “Are you okay?”

“Come to find out it was a misdiagnosis. I literally found out right before I had to come here.”

She shook her head vehemently. “Why didn't you just tell me? We could've gotten through this together. I never would've left your side.”

“I know, but I wasn't in my right mind. All I could think about was the death sentence I had received. I couldn't think about getting married.”

Oh God!
Bria thought. She had made an even bigger mess of things. Why didn't she just go with her first mind and wait instead of getting involved with someone else? Why hadn't she trusted the love she and Spade shared? Or is it share? Did they still have that connection? She wanted to believe in their love, but how could she when Spade hadn't communicated with her in weeks? She felt so confused.

No matter how many questions popped up in her mind, Bria could not deny the fact that Kerryngton was a real factor. She cared about him . . . a lot.

“I know I was wrong not to tell you, and I'm sorry.” He touched her shoulders. “I know I messed up, and I don't blame you for how you feel. Just know that I never stopped loving you.”

Until now she had avoided looking into his eyes. He had weakened her defenses by saying that he never stopped loving her, which caused her to lose her train of thought. She felt as though she had just looked into the eyes of Medusa and turned into stone. No matter how badly she wanted to, she could not move. He leaned toward her and she could feel his cool breath on her skin, smelling of peppermint.

“I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us. I just know I don't want to be without you, and I still love you. I won't stop until I get you back,” he whispered in her ear.

Bria tasted her salty tears and wiped her eyes. Through her blurry vision she noticed a pelican in the water. Then out of nowhere, a squirrel ran up Spade's leg and onto his shoulder. Bria almost ran out of the park, it scared her so bad. Spade simply shooed the creature away. He yelled behind her and caught up with her. They walked along the bridge to get a better view of Buckingham Palace.

“Exquisite,” was all Bria could say about the breathtaking estate.

Spade wrapped his arm around Bria, and she flinched. She didn't even know why she flinched; she just did.

“Do you still love me?” he wanted to know.

His question halted her breathing for a second. She knew she needed to answer his question carefully. If she went all in and confessed her feelings for him, he'd expect her to break up with Kerryngton, and she wasn't ready or willing to do that. She looked at the ground and became nauseated by the sight of ants teeming all over a discarded hot dog bun.

She looked away and said, “Yes, I do love you. I always will. But I'm not ready to pick up where we left off.”

He removed his arm. “It's like that?” He sounded so dejected.

“Spade, please.” She felt herself getting choked up again. “As much as I loved you and still love you, you broke my heart. I had to change my way of thinking about you and us. I had no idea why you left me. That devastated me. When I didn't hear from you, I thought that was the end of us. Kerryngton has helped me through a difficult time in my life. He gave me a reason to smile again.”

“I don't want to hear about how the next man made you smile. You're my girl.” He patted his chest, then sighed. “You haven't slept with him, have you?”

“Of course not.” She sounded offended. How could he ask her that? He knew how she felt about premarital sex. He was acting brand-new. Like he really didn't know her at all.

“Thank God,” he mumbled. “Do you plan to?” He eyed her incredulously.

“Stop it.” She wasn't about to go there with him and entertain this conversation. “You're focusing on the wrong thing.”

“I want to be with you. As soon as I get the final test confirming that my results were wrong I still want to marry you.” He pulled a folded-up check from out of his back pocket and handed it to her. “None of that has changed for me.”

“That's because you had all the information; I didn't. I had no idea what was going on with you or what you were going through. All I was trying to do was piece my life back together.”

If he had been honest with her, she would've married him anyway. She would've stayed with him until he took his last breath and not regretted a single moment of being with him. She would never abandon him when he needed her the most. How could he not know that?

She unfolded the check. “What's this for?”

“I got an advance from my deal. Give that to your dad. I want to pay him back for the wedding.”

That was too much for her. She broke down crying and dabbed at the corners of her eyes.

He wiped her tears away. “I'm not willing to give up on us. Ol' boy might have all the money right now, but I'ma get paid too. I have a plan, and I'm working it. You'll see.”

“It's not about the money,” she told him and meant it. “It's about how I felt when you left me and how Kerryngton has made me feel since then.”

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