For the Love of Lila (26 page)

Her consternation must have shown on her face, because Tristan’s lips wavered with a halting smile.

She lifted her chin and continued in a prosaic voice, “Sometimes you come upon a dead end and have to retreat and try again.” Smirking, she dragged him back over their last steps and took a different path. “No one makes it through without a few wrong turns along the way.”

“Alas,” he said when, after a mere two more corners, a pale structure appeared up ahead of them, “Towns are crowded, leaving mazes—and lives—with little room for adventure.”

Indeed, they’d found the goal already. Lila tilted her head as they approached a gazebo that held a huge, boxlike shape. “What on earth is this?”

“A teahouse.”

As they approached, she could see the wooden framework of the box and what appeared to be paper walls.

“Is it
Chinoiserie
?” she asked. Excited, she slipped away from him to run up and peek in the entrance. The small room was empty except for a low table and some cushions on a bare wooden floor.

“Japanese, actually,” Tristan said behind her. “A wedding gift to Hester and Poinsett from our father. He acquired it through an associate of his in the Far East.”

“How adorable—a private little haven!” She ducked to enter, but he grabbed her shoulder.

“I believe you’re supposed to remove your shoes first.”

“Really?” The idea appealed to her, making the teahouse seem even more intimate. She slid off her slippers and stepped inside, wriggling her stocking-covered toes. The low ceiling

barely exceeded the top of her head.

Tristan followed, crouching. “‘Tis not a very practical shelter for any man of average height or better.”

“I’ll wager that you’ll be comfortable enough seated.” She took a place on one of the cushions, tucking her legs under her to one side.

He set the lantern down on the small table and sat next to her, legs sprawled in front of him in a boyish way.

She giggled. “I feel like a little girl playing tea party—not that I ever did so when I was one.”

“Never? Do you wish you had?”

“Sometimes. Perhaps I did play when I was very young, before my mother died. If not, why would I feel nostalgic now?”

He leaned back on his hands. “Maybe domestic yearnings are instinctive.”

“But a tea party?” She laughed. “I’ve never attended a real one, either. I’ve simply never moved in feminine circles.”

“Oh, Hester’s likely to fix that.”

Her smile faded. “You think she’ll want to continue the acquaintance?”

“I’m sure she will.” His expression went somber, too. “I wonder what will that mean for us.”

“Torture.”

She dropped her gaze, letting her attention fall to his thighs, their muscles shown off to perfection in well-tailored breeches. Alone, with him lolling on the cushions like this, she couldn’t help thinking of lovemaking. Following a trail up his body, she skimmed over the contours of his groin, his flat stomach, broad chest, the tiny dark whiskers budding on his chin. She let out a sigh. “You’re so handsome, Tristan...so handsome.”

He met her gaze, his focus intent. His eyebrows tilted upwards, pained. The look told her he loved her more plainly that any words could have.

“Come here, Lila,” he said, his voice husky. “Please.”

Surprised and yet not surprised, she slid over and into his arms. He pulled her closer and met her mouth. She parted her lips and tasted him, savoring the experience. Who knew if she’d ever have it again?

He deepened the kiss and dragged her onto his lap. Her mind swirled, dizzy with desire. Through their light summer clothes, the evidence of his excitement prodded her bottom.

She held his face in both her hands, her nose pressed against his. “Oh, God, Tristan. I want you so much.”

He groaned. “What are we going to do?”

Beneath her, his erection hardened and heated, demanding notice. As she shifted, he groaned again. She glanced down at their fused bodies then looked out the door. The night was dark and peaceful—a contrast to their seething embrace.

“We’re alone.” She reached down and unbuttoned his breeches.

“You’re mad,” he said but didn’t move to stop her. He gasped as she freed his erection.

“I know.” She moved off him briefly to reach under her gown and shimmy out of her underthings. Hitching her hem up to her knees, she straddled his legs. She covered his lap with her skirt and reached underneath.

They both gasped as she touched him. She took him in her hand, guiding him into her body.

A whimper escaped her. He was inside her again—where he belonged, one with her. The act, hidden within the folds of her skirt, felt secret and deliciously dangerous.

Nudging downward on him, she felt him filling her. She marveled at the experience, pressing harder to deepen his penetration. Unsure of her movements, she lifted her body and pushed again. Ecstasy spiraled through her.

“Oh, God...Lila, you feel amazing.” He gripped her thighs and let his head fall back.

“
You
do.” She repeated the motion and soon fell into a rhythm. Slowly remembering where they were, she whispered, “We’d best make this quick.”

“No problem, I daresay.”

On top of him this way, she found she could drive her most sensitive spot against him. The tension built in her quickly, reeling with each thrust.

He moaned and she felt the pressure between them tighten, exciting her even more.

“Oh,” she whispered. “I won’t have a problem, either.”

She pushed again and he grunted, lifting his body to meet her motions. The smallest move either of them made multiplied the sensations of both.

“I’m close already,” he said.

“Me, too.” More stirred than ever, she arched her back, thrusting against him. With each push she felt him react and fill her further.

“Oh, Lila.” He held her hips to stop her movements. “I can’t last much longer.”

She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his, hot and moist with perspiration. “Tristan, spill your seed inside me.”

He loosened his grip and let her move. With each movement her body tensed and sang. She felt him hardening inside of her. His excitement primed hers yet more. She teetered on the brink of ecstasy—and then burst into release.

“Oh!” Her body shattered into scintillation.

He moaned and thrust upward into her. Hovering deep inside, he broke into his own series of shudders.

She let her head loll back in wonder, knowing he was giving her part of him. The very essence of him would stay with her, even after they’d parted.

As the aftershocks of their climax slowed, she looked down and met his gaze. They smiled softly at each other while they caught their breath.

Once again she began to hear the crickets and frogs, seemingly silent during their lovemaking. Recovering from the frenzy, she wondered how much noise the two of them had made.

Tristan stared at her, reaching up to touch her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You’re beautiful—beautiful and mad.”

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you, too.” His smile faded.

As they watched each other’s eyes, all the hopelessness of their situation rushed back to her.

“Lila,” he said, his voice grave, “this was amazingly foolish of us.”

She couldn’t deny that it was. Glancing outside, she imagined what would happen if Hester decided to follow them to the garden.
Mortifying!
In such a case, she would never be able to face his sister again. “We have to get back in the house. We’d better pull ourselves together.”

“If possible.”

Reluctantly, but spurred by dread, she eased apart from him. Between apprehensive glances out the entrance, they made a hasty toilette. Trying to smooth her wrinkled gown, she feared she looked more suited for bed than a drawing room. And even in the faint moonlight she could see that Tristan’s face was flushed.

When they stepped out of the teahouse she reached up to pat down his tousled hair. “Do you think they’ll be able to tell?”

“I don’t know. They won’t be expecting this from us, but I imagine we look rather disheveled. We’ll have to make excuses to get away from them as soon as possible. I think I should leave directly, and you had better go to bed.”

“Oh, Tristan.” She grabbed his hand. “I know you’re right, but I hate to part in such a hurry. We just made love.”

“I know. I don’t like it either, but we can’t dally any longer.” He lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop back in the morning.”

She knew she couldn’t ask for more. “Thank you.”

He gave her a quick kiss and turned toward the path, leading her by the hand. “Unfortunately, I think that tomorrow we need to set down rules for ourselves—rules we
cannot
break. I fear we’re going to have to vow not to see each other at all for a long while.”

She stared ahead, afraid she would cry if she tried to respond. How could she possibly argue? They couldn’t continue making love in the backyards of London society. How long would it be before some eagle-eyed gossip looked over her shoulder and took note?

As they emerged from the maze, he withdrew his hand from hers and gently urged her forward, pressing the small of her back. “Come on. Let’s go into the house.”

When they returned to the front hall, Hester was coming out of the drawing room.

“Oh, you’re back. I was just about to retire. I’m sorry to break up our party early, but I’ve been drained lately.”

“All of us could benefit from an early night,” Tristan said, his expression unnaturally bland.

“‘Tis not so early anymore. You lingered in the garden a long time.” She gave them both a sly smile. “What happened? Did you get lost in the maze?”

“We did stroll through. Lila wanted to see it.”

Hester smirked. “And you had trouble reaching the goal?”

He glanced at Lila. “On the contrary, we got there quite swiftly.”

Despite his poker face she suspected a double entendre. Trying not to show her astonishment, she looked at Hester. “The teahouse is lovely, and the evening is so perfect I didn’t want to come in. But after this morning I thought I should make sure to get plenty of rest tonight.”

“That goes for me, too.” Tristan pulled out a pocket watch and flicked it open. “Egad, nearly eleven, and I want to check with Higginbotham again in the morning. I’ll stop back here afterwards to report what he says.”

Hester lifted her eyebrows. “Wonderful. Will you be joining us for breakfast?”

“More likely just after.”

“Very well. We’ll be expecting you.” She glanced back into the drawing room. “I’m afraid that Poinsett’s gone to his study. Shall I pass your good-byes onto him later?”

“Please.” He turned toward the front of the house, and Hester followed him up the hall.

Lila trailed behind, allowing them a few feet of space. As a new “friend of the family” she didn’t want to be intrusive, but as Tristan’s lover she felt neglected. He and she shouldn’t have had to part at all. The laws of nature dictated that they should have gone to bed together...tonight and every night.

He opened the door, stopping at the threshold to meet her gaze briefly. “Goodnight, Lila. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight.”

As he exited, Hester moved into the doorway and watched, partially blocking Lila’s view. Once he’d descended to the pavement, he disappeared from her sight. A moment passed, then Hester waved and shut the door.

Lila’s body suddenly felt heavy, nearly too heavy to bear. How would she ever muster the strength to live without him?

“He seems in better spirits since you two stepped outside.” Hester turned to face her and smiled. “I daresay your presence cheers him up, my dear.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t go as far as that.” Lila looked downward. In fact she knew that she did quite the opposite to him—and that only made her feel worse. He was right about their needing to vow to separate. She had to get out of his life, so he could go on...and somehow she had to do the same.

“I’m exhausted,” she said. “I’d better go to bed.”

“I’ll walk up with you.” Hester started up the staircase. “I’m tired myself. I’ve been fatigued a great deal lately. I shouldn’t say this—I haven’t even told Poinsett–but I believe I may be
enceinte
.”

With child?
The thought struck Lila like an anvil falling on her head. Pregnancy hadn’t even occurred to her as an explanation for her own symptoms. But she’d been nauseous in the morning and tired all day—and she’d certainly taken risks.

She stopped on the stairs, her head spinning.

“Why, what is it, dear? Are you unwell again? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Oh...” The enormity of her possible plight made her feel strange, nearly faint. Could she really be expecting? Forcing herself to concentrate on facing Hester for the moment, she saw that her hostess was studying her closely.
Did she suspect?
Quickly she said, “I think it’s just what’s left over of the ailment that was bothering me this morning.”

Hester took her elbow, her brow furrowed. “Shall I call a maid for you?”

“No, I’ll be fine.” Lila tried to meet her gaze but found herself looking away. Slowly, she began climbing the stairs again. “Congratulations on your condition. I mean, I hope...I hope it proves true.”

“Thank you.” Hester’s voice still sounded strained with concern. She paused as though distracted—which seemed unlikely when discussing such a subject. “I hope so, too...Poinsett and I have had no luck in that area previously, and we’ve been married for five years.”

Mind swirling with rapid thoughts she tried to stifle, Lila gave her a quivering smile as they reached the upstairs hall.

The other woman frowned. “My dear, is there something wrong? I don’t want to pry, but I have a strange feeling...that is, if you’re in trouble, I want to help. I can assure you of my confidence. Whatever your difficulties, I would say nothing of them to my brother.”

“Tristan?” Lila started at the very thought of him—then she worried that she’d given herself away. She shook her head. “Really, I’ll be fine. I simply need rest.”

She knew her attempt at composure lacked credibility, so she murmured goodnight. Embarrassed by her behavior but helpless to do better, she hurried to her room.