For the Love of Ash (23 page)

"It was an accident. I know that."

"But still. I heard that Luke's been to jail."

"He's a teacher!" I glared at her because I knew that couldn't be true. They wouldn't let him be around kids if he had a bad temper, or a record. That must've just been a rumor.

"Maybe he knows someone. I'm telling you, when he started coming here this semester rumors started floating around. But the jail thing has been a consistent one."

"I don't know…"

"You should just ask him about it."

"I wouldn't want him asking me about my past, so I won't ask him about his. Where's he even from?"

"He went to Wilmington Prep, just two towns over. Parents are super rich. He has an older sister. He finished his undergrad in three years, played lacrosse. What else do you want to know?"

"Are you a spy or something?"

"No, but I eavesdrop."

"Smart girl," I muttered as the class began.
 

"Just be careful, okay? You have Ash. You should forget about Luke and just focus on your brother. I know if I was Ash, that's what I'd want." She looked at me like she was speaking from experience.
 

"That's the plan."
 

I dreaded having to see Luke. With all the information that June had thrown my way, I feared that my opinion of him had changed. I knew deep down that he wasn't a bad guy. That was obvious, but the rumors flew in the back of my brain. I couldn't help but listen to them.

There were only three kids in the class before I got there. I was tempted to find a new seat away from Luke, but I didn't want to be transparent. Truthfully, now that I knew more, I wanted to keep exploring Luke and finding out more.
 

I wasn't upset about what happened at the club. I was more mad over the fact that he left me to walk home than the shoving. I wasn't hurt. I knew it only happened in some misplaced sense of being protective over me. I didn't exactly trust him, wouldn't leave him alone with Asher, but I doubted he was violent or had problems with it.

My heart waited for Luke to enter the room. Every time I heard a scuffle outside the door, I swear I stopped breathing. But by the time Dr. Atwater came in, Luke was still nowhere to be found.
 

"Welcome class. Whoever is presenting their chapter today, please come to the front of the room." Two kids behind me stood and walked to the front with a stack of notecards in their hands.
 

One was a girl with dark hair and wide-rimmed glasses that were all the rage lately, although it seemed like she actually needed her glasses to see instead of wearing them for style purposes.

I could barely listen to their introduction of chapter two since I kept waiting to see Luke walk through the doors. I faintly registered Dr. Atwater taking over the lecture and explaining how baby's brains worked, but my brain was focused on Luke.
 

Who was he? Where was he?

He went to school here; yet he already had a degree and was a gym teacher at an elementary school. He couldn't be much older than me. I wanted to ask June his age, but I didn't want her to know how interested I really was in him.
 

There was something about him that I couldn't pinpoint. He was different in a way that was normal. He had a swagger to him that was attractive, but it wasn't like a player's. He seemed down-to-earth and understanding. Yet he came from a lot of money and went to a prep school. He knew at least part of my situation with Ash; yet he didn't push me to explain more.
 

Why wouldn't a guy who was interested in me want to know about my baggage? It was shitty to say but true at the same time. When I was a wild child in college, I always made sure there were no kids, wives, or other shit in a guy's past.
 

It didn't make sense.
 

Before I knew it, class was dismissed. I looked down at the piece of paper and pen in my hand and saw the intricate designs on the paper. I had missed the entire hour and a half lecture.
 

A sun began at the bottom of my page, and its rays extended past the edges of the page. I had drawn Luke's name in the curvy lines around the outline without meaning to.
 

I quickly pulled the piece of paper out of the my notebook and crumpled it. On my way out of the door, I threw the paper away. I couldn't deal with it. I had to relax.
 

Chapter Twenty-Three

Maggie

Over the past two days, my mind was consumed by thoughts of Luke.

I sat in the back of Dr. Atwater's classroom and waited for Luke to show up again. I had decided that I had to take it easy. I had to apologize for running away from the club, while asking him what his problem was. I had rehearsed my speech since class on Tuesday, taking the next two days to perfect it until I felt comfortable.
 

"Where have you been?"

"I've been busy."

"Listen, I'm sorry for leaving the club. I just wanted an apology."

"I'm sorry for hitting you."

"That's all I wanted. Thank you. But I am upset you left me to walk home."

"I was blinded by my love."

"Okay. How old are you?"

My conversations with Luke got more and more small-talk-like, and I liked how our relationship was moving along. However, it was all fake. I wasn't delusional. I knew that my conversation today would most likely tank. But it was fun to pretend for just a moment.

Luke didn't seem like the type of guy to apologize. And I wasn't sure I even wanted him to anymore. With Luke's absence I was reminded that I had to focus on Ash. Luke could only be used as a distraction intermittently.
 

Dr. Atwater walked into class, and Luke was still gone. I knew where he worked, so the school was a sure way to see him. We presented our chapter next week, and I didn't want to do it alone.
 

Yeah. That was the reason I went.
 

I grabbed my bag from the ground and ran from the room. I ignored Dr. Atwater's questions as I ran down the hall and expelled a sigh the second I exited the building.
 

I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and quickly smoked one to calm myself down, while I frantically dialed his phone number. I had never done anything this bizarre before. I was chasing after Luke—for what? I didn't understand my motivation. But I knew that I couldn't leave him hanging. His phone went to voicemail, and I dialed again. But he didn't answer.

He was upset the last time I saw him. He didn't deserve to be. Nobody should feel that sort of guilt.

I flicked the butt into the grass and then drove to Woodbury Elementary when he didn't answer for the third time. The school had new restrictions for security, but I hoped that they would let me in. Or at least they could ring Luke to the front so I could talk to him.
 

I parked in the parents' lot and left all of my things in the car. I hoped that this would be a fast trip. The security guard let me through after I flashed him my license and escorted me down the narrow hall to the main office.

"I need to speak to Luke Wilson."
 

"And you are?" the receptionist asked. She didn't look up from the desk as I spoke, and I found it to be very rude. I glared as she still looked down at her desk.

"I'm Maggie Larken. It will only be a second. I know he doesn't have class during this time. Please." I put my elbows on the top of her desk and peered over the high divide, seeing her filing her long, red nails.
 

"One second." She finally looked up, glaring through her squinted eyes, and tapped on the phone while resting it between her shoulder and ear. She spun in her chair, faced the window, and muttered something into the receiver. Finally, she hung up and picked up the file and continued on.

"Is he coming?" I asked after a second of silence.

"He'll be right down."

The office was quiet, but it was early in the afternoon. Most kids should've been in class. The rug was stained, and I found it to be annoying, probably because I was already in a weird mood.
 

I had no idea what I was going to say to Luke, only that he had no reason to stop coming to class. He had just as much of a right to be there as I did. I figured I'd say sorry or something, just to butter him up. But first, I'd give him hell for leaving me.
 

"What is your problem?" I said when I saw him emerge from the long hallway. When he saw me, his posture immediately stiffened, like he hadn't been expecting me, which was true.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. I looked behind me at the secretary who was looking through me at Luke, questioning. It was almost like her finger was on her telephone buttons, ready to dial 9-1-1.

"Do you have an office or something we can talk to in private?"

"Sure," he said, and then nodded at the secretary.

"Miss Larken, you'll need a name-tag," the secretary called as Luke held open the door for me. I rolled my eyes and spun around with a smile as fake as I could muster on my face. I took the red name-tag, planted it on my right boob, and then spun right back around.

We were silent as Luke led me down the narrow, short halls of the elementary school. I hated my time in Woodbury public schools. They let me fly under the radar academically, but now that I was older, I resented that. I wished they had made me get my shit together sooner.

We turned a corner, and the smell of rubber and grease assaulted my nose. I knew we were close to the gym. My converse squeaked on the tiled ground. It was so shiny that the fluorescent lights on the ceiling reflected and I swore that if I had looked down I could've seen my face.

"Here's my office," Luke said as he pushed open a thick wood door. He waved his arm and let me walk in first. I felt like I was getting a little dose of who Luke really was. The office was small, a perfect square with few things inhabiting it.

His desk took up most of the room, with two lightly cushioned chairs on either side. There was a floor to ceiling bookcase to the left of the desk with another chair catty-cornered in the corner.

Unfortunately, there weren't many mementos on his desk. There were two pictures in dark wood frames, only about five by seven inches large. There was a picture of a young Luke with a girl who had similar eyes. The other picture was of him on graduation day with a group of people smiling around him.

"Sit, Maggie," Luke said. He pulled my attention up from the desk, and I saw that he had already walked around me. I smiled, my cheeks heating as I sat down across the table from him. For some reason, we felt too far apart, and I didn't like it. I wanted to cross the desk and sit on his lap while I spoke to him. But I didn't. Obviously.

"Did you need Asher?" he asked as he rummaged through a pile of papers.

"Why weren't you in class today or Tuesday?"

"I'm working," he said as he leaned back in his chair. It squeaked under his weight.

"I know you don't teach during this time."

"Listen: If this is all you wanted me for then you should just go. Can't someone take a personal day?"

"Sure. If that's all it is. I know you're avoiding me, and you have no reason to. I told you you didn't hurt me. I simply wanted you to apologize. Which you never did, by the way." I couldn't help but be sucked into his eyes. They were so deep and soulful, I wanted to reach in and find out what was wrong.

"I'm sorry."

"See? That wasn't so bad."

"It's not a joke, Sunny. I could have seriously hurt you."

"But you didn't." I reached across the table towards him. His hands were clasped together, but I wanted to touch him. I needed him to know that he didn't hurt me, and I didn't believe for a second that he would.

"Listen, I didn't think I'd have to use this, but you can't bail on me for this project." He looked at me with a confused grin. "I'm scared of talking in front of people. I get all nervous and feel like I'm going to pass out or puke, and honestly, I don't know which would be worse. Since I've already done the work, you have to be the presenter."