For One Nen (21 page)

“So we can tell the others what we found. So we can let them see this before,” Benai stopped. “Let’s just go,” he added.

Teltel unplugged the computer and they hurried to the dining hall to eat before going to class.

With the frequent black outs due to the frequent attempts to bring the damaged shields online, the ship had become colder in the last few weeks. The boys gathered with the other slightly more clothed, students in their open class area.

They arrived before Tanik
did, so Benai began to whisper to Beau and Bug. Bug in turn, whispered to Trina.

“What’s this?” Tanik asked relentlessly when she arrived.

“What, Tanik?” Benai asked with a grin.

Tanik looked from Benai to Teltel and back to Benai.

“No whispering in my class,” she said as she placed a stack of folders on her podium. She pressed her hands together in front of her and said, “Let us begin.” The class rose to their feet and began the morning ‘remembrance prayer’ routine.

Rasta, the Antip, moved slightly closer to Teltel.

“What?” Teltel said aloud.

Tanik jerked her head around to face Teltel. The other students did the same.

A little embarrassed, Teltel said, “I’m sorry. I thought I heard something.”

He pressed his hands together in front of him and slightly bowed in front of Tanik.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“Let’s see if we can get through morning prayers without another outburst shall we,” she said as she began her smooth elongated movements.

Again Teltel heard something but instead of verbally responding he simply froze.

“Teltel, it’s me,”
he heard the voice again. Then he realized the voice wasn’t audible.

He cut his eyes slightly to his left to see Rasta smiling at him.

“Yes, it’s me.”

Teltel opened his mouth to speak but Rasta pushed her thoughts to stop him.

“Don’t speak,”
she pushed into his mind.

The two picked up with the prayer, ended with the rest of the class, and sat down for morning recitation.

As the class’ voices rumbled out their long songs and sonnets they had been saying since they were children Rasta pushed her thoughts again.

“Whatever you guys are doing, I want to be in on it.”

“No,” Teltel whispered quickly to her while Tanik’s eyes and smile of pride were focused on Merari.

“What is it? What
are you guys doing?”
Rasta pushed again.

Teltel knew he would have to wait until after class to tell Rasta anything. Even though Rasta had learned to control her thoughts, to be able to push them on one person at a time, Teltel couldn’t very well talk back to her without getting caught.

A watery figure entered the classroom area and appeared in front of Tanik.

“Maven,” Tanik said with nervous respect.

The Maven nodded to Tanik respectfully. They began to give greeting.

Teltel knew this could be his chance to whisper to Rasta without getting caught.

“Can you push someone for me?” Teltel quickly whispered to Rasta.

She nodded while the women talked of the fire the day before and black outs and the temperature change.

“Tell the class we’re meeting in the fallow field after class but don’t let Merari know what you’re doing,” Teltel whispered quickly.

“Why?”
Rasta pushed with question.

“Just do it,” Teltel said quickly.

“Teltel, I said no whispering,” Tanik shouted. Then as if embarrassed by her outburst she turned to the Maven with a smile and calmly said, “They just will not listen sometimes.”

Maven Sharla looked at Teltel and he gave a knowing smile. Teltel knew the Maven had visited class to see if Tanik was pressing anyone further about reading lies.

“I was just taking my morning walk and wanted to stop by and see how you were getting along today,” the Maven said to Tanik. “I see you have things well in hand.” She gave Tanik a graceful nod and she faded as she left the class.

Rasta moved a little closer behind Bug and Trina.
“Meet in the fallow field after class,”
she pushed her thoughts to them.

They turned quickly to face her.

“Turn around or you’re going to get us in trouble,”
she pushed.

She then quietly moved in between Beau and Benai.
“Meet in the fallow field after class,”
she pushed them.

Benai smiled and nodded.

Beau looked around as if he couldn’t believe they were the only ones hearing the message.

Again she moved.

“Rasta is there a problem?” Tanik asked suspiciously.

“Just a little restless, I guess,” Rasta answered as she pushed her skinny dreadlocks from her eyes.

“Probably the pending doom,” Benai joked. “Bound to make us all sparse before long.”

Tanik pursed her lips and tilted her head in disapproval of his foul mouth.

Benai just ducked his head for a moment as he tried to hold in a laugh.

As Rasta moved past Mathis she quickly said, “Fallow field after class.”

“Are you quite finished with your restlessness?” Tanik asked. “Or do you need to run laps around the ship to calm your nerves?”

Rasta settled in the middle of Molly, the Denizen and Merari as she
verbally answered her teacher. “I think I’m fine now.”

Tanik began to talk about the importance of truth and how the keepers should be concerned with keeping the truth that their ancestors toiled earnestly to pass down to them.

But Rasta cut her eyes to Molly.

Molly gave a questioning look with her eyebrows moving closer together.

“Are you with the class or are you with Merari?”
Rasta asked as she pushed her thoughts into Molly.

Molly looked at Rasta a moment then she dropped her head as if she were thinking of what she’d just heard.

After a moment, Rasta pushed, “Meet me in the dining hall after class.”

Class ended that day with Tanik smiling at her students and saying, “May each one of you be keepers of truth this day and the days to come.”

Teltel walked out into the hallway and quickly caught up to Merari.

“Hey, I think Tanik is on to us so we’re meeting on the observatory deck today.”

Merari stopped long enough to listen to the giant. “Alright,” she responded. “I forgot something,” she said awkwardly.

Teltel watched her turn back toward class. He knew the Maven had been right about Tanik having a spy and the spy was Merari. He saw Rasta sitting with Molly not far away in the dining hall.

“Did you see that?” Teltel said as he sat down with them.

“That sparsing spy,
” Rasta snapped.

Gazing off in the distance Molly said, “I’m not surprised.”

“Why? Did you know she was a traitor?” asked Rasta.

“She’s not a traitor,” Molly said soft and sad.

“What do you call it when you turn on your friends?” Teltel asked with frustration.

“Hurt,” Molly said with her large brown eyes and high pony-tail of thick, dark brown hair.

“Hurt?” Teltel said with a growing lower-pitched voice that showed his maturity toward manhood.

“Her mother died when Merari was born. She never became close to anyone until we were all brought to the keepers
’ class when we were small. She’s worked for Tanik’s approval ever since, except… Tanik has never notice her much until recently. I wondered what the change was. I guess it’s hard to betray the one you most want to please.”

Teltel lowered his head and was silent a moment. When he raised his eye again he said, “She’s one of us. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

“And they say giants are heartless,” Molly smiled.

“Who says that?” Teltel snapped in defense.

With surprise Molly answered, “I thought everyone did.”

The three classmates sat in silence for a moment.

Rasta drank the last of the water in her glass and clanked it down on the table. “Ever feel we’ve been lied to; all of us keepers?” She shook her thin dreads from her face and took a clip from her pocket and pinned the loose strands to the back of her head.

“Maybe not lied to; just never told the whole truth,” Molly suggested.

“Same thing,” Teltel said. “But no more. It stops with me.”

The little group watched as Tanik and Merari came from the classroom area and hurried to the elevator.

“I’ll handle this. Go to the fallow field but don’t start the movies until I get there, alright?” Teltel said.

“Sure,” Molly said. “I’ll let the others know to wait.”

Teltel paused a moment to make sure that Tanik and Merari were on the elevator before he pressed the ‘up’ button and waited on its return.

The door opened. He stepped on, pressed the observatory deck button, and took a deep breath. Reaching the deck he held the side of the elevator door frame before making his legs move through the elevator doorway.

One step at a time he walked off the elevator. He was surprised and relieved that no one was in sight. He wondered for a moment if the Maven had been mistaken about Merari. He began to walk the large deck that encircled the elevator. About half way around he saw Tanik with Merari standing close beside her.

“More stories?” Tanik accused when she saw Teltel.

“Stories?” Teltel questioned.

“Isn’t this where you were meeting so you could spread more lies?” Tanik coldly demanded.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Teltel answered calmly.

“Where do you meet?” Tanik said sternly.

“Who?”

“The others you were meeting here,” Tanik demanded.

“I didn’t plan others coming,” Teltel said as he scratched the tip of his chin nervously.

“You mean…You wanted Merari up here…you…Oh! You,” Tanik gruffly remarked. She stared at him and in that moment he understood how he’d always thought of Tanik as beautiful because she was indeed outwardly beautiful.
She was, after all, Goweli. But as she stood in front of him, her once bright eyes seemed cloudy. Her slinky dancer body figure seemed awkward and unbalanced. His belief in her kindness vanished in that one moment. And it was then that he saw how ugly she truly was.

“I just wanted to see Merari,” said Teltel.

Tanik stomped off and called back, “Come on, Merari.”

Merari stood breathlessly still.

Tanik had already gone around the bend when she came back into view.

Teltel stepped close to Merari and took her hand gently.

Tanik clenched her teeth and spun around swinging her arms as she marched away.

Teltel held Merari’s hand until they heard the familiar ding of the elevator taking their unwanted guest away. He dropped her hand and walked to the surrounding glass. He looked down on the completely enclosed Anthro sector that held thousands of occupied stasis pods. Off to the right was the Antip sector and so on to complete the giant circle of globed shaped structures connected to the interior by their respective shuttle passageways.

He looked down at the tribes’ quarter sectors only because he didn’t have the courage to lift his head.

Merari approached and stood next to him for a long silent moment.

“I understand,” she said after she cleared her throat.

Teltel rubbed his chin hard with the back of his hand but didn’t reply right away.

“No, you don’t understand,” he said without raising his head. He turned quickly and took giant steps back toward the elevator where he paused to gaze down on the remains of the Hoth sector. Merari caught up to him.

“Things are so ruined,” Teltel said.

“Yes,” Merari said as she also looked down on the site of all the empty stasis pods.

“I’m afraid,” Teltel said, “and I’ve never admitted that to anyone.”

“Afraid of the particle wave?” Merari asked.

“Of the particle wave, of dying, of secrets that I just can’t…, of never loving someone, of never knowing what it’s like to live without this deep hole inside, of never knowing about…” Teltel leaned his forehead against the glass and pressed his hands on either side.

“Why is it so important for you to hear the stories?” Merari asked.

Teltel turned his head slightly and opened his mouth but he couldn’t bring himself to speak another word.

Merari reached high overhead and took his hand. She brought it down to her side and leaned against him.

“I know you set me up,” she said softly. “I know you didn’t ask me up here just to see me.”

“Are you angry?” Teltel asked gently.

“No, I’m just sorry you had to do it,” she turned and looked up into his brown eyes, “but I’m so very glad you did.”

Letting Merari hold his hand he turned toward her. “I feel like…” he cleared his throat and rubbed his chin with his free hand. He straightened to his full height and tried again, “I feel like if I don’t have the stories to focus on that I’ll just let go of everything, of everything that I love or hope for or… just everything. And after that…there will be nothing left.”