For Nick (5 page)

“No, I think this should be solely between you and I,” Andie said stiltedly.

The room filled with tension as heavy as if a blanket suddenly covered them. Andie stared at the ground, her face feeling hot, her pounding heart suddenly in her stomach. She’d been so close to solving all of her and Nick’s problems.

But she couldn’t do this, she just couldn’t. It was out of the question. She should have seen this coming though. From a legal standpoint, she knew he was right. Her eyebrows furrowed as her thoughts wandered, going places she’d never admit to…could she go through with…it? Intimacy without emotion, without love. She couldn’t imagine what that would be like. Suddenly intimacy would be considered a chore, something they had to do. What was it he’d said? They’d
‘get it over with quickly.’
So sterile. So cold.

The situation suddenly reeked of being ‘paid’ for services rendered and she wasn’t okay with that. Not at all. Being a stand-in business wife, she could handle. Add intimacy to the equation and the stakes just changed.

Business wife, yes. Intimacy, no.

“I realize this is an uncomfortable conversation and I understand if you’d like to politely decline,” Zach added.

The choice was hers. No one was forcing her into this arrangement.

Her decision made, Andie stood abruptly, feeling despair creep in at the edges of her psyche. “I’m sorry, Zach. I can’t do this. I just can’t.” All of her dreams for Nick slowly washed away and hopelessness threatened to engulf her.

Obviously disappointed, he nodded. “I understand, I really do.”

“Please don’t take it personally. You’re an extremely attractive man, but this is not something I’m comfortable doing. It goes against everything I believe in.”

Zach ran his hand through his hair and expelled his breath sharply. “I wanted a woman with values. Unfortunately, this is not something a woman with values would readily agree to.”

“I’m sorry. I really am. I hope you find who you’re looking for.”

Andie turned and left the room without another word or even a backward glance. Tears threatened, but never appeared.

They never did. Ever.

She’d failed Nick. Utterly and horribly. How could she be so selfish, so self-absorbed? This wasn’t about her. It was about Nick. Nick was her life. Couldn’t she do this one little thing for Nick? It wasn’t as if Zach was asking her to do anything indecent. They would be legally and lawfully wedded. And he didn’t expect anything other than the required act to ensure legality.

Andie made it to the bus stop bench and collapsed onto it feeling defeated, her thoughts in turmoil. What now? What choices did she have? Where could she turn? There had to be another way.

But there wasn’t. She’d reached a dead end—a roadblock.

The barricade of her lifetime.

Trapped. I’m trapped in an impossible situation.
The urge to curl into a ball and die, to hide from life, felt beyond tempting.
Man up, Andie. You can’t let Nick down.

Andie’s imagination took over and she imagined herself on a battlefield, dressed in armor, her hair blowing in the wind—the quintessential Joan of Arc figure. If she was in battle with an enemy, would she let them win? Would she lie down and die at their feet? Would she forfeit?

No. Never.

She’d draw her sword and fight to the death.

Was she really going to let this happen?

Absolutely not. Giving up now was not an option. She would fight fate. Zach was offering her a way out, a release from the tribulation of her pathetic life.

He seemed like a decent man, although she had no way of knowing that for sure. But for all intents and purposes, he seemed surprisingly respectful. It wasn’t as if she’d be spending her time with a pervert or an axe murderer. People were forced into arranged marriages all the time. Somehow they endured it. Some even fell in love along the way.

She had to grab this opportunity while it was being offered. She had to do this for Nick.

This was her modern day battlefield.

With steely determination, Andie returned to Zach’s office building before she could change her mind. She was
going
to do this. And nothing was going to stop her.

She’d face the consequences of her decision later. And there would be consequences. She knew it. But she was prepared to face them. Living with herself if she failed Nick was inconceivable.

Andie rushed past a surprised Mrs. Edwards and stood at Zach’s opened office door. Killjoy—Robert—was with him and they appeared to be deep in conversation.

“Zach, may I speak with you?” she said immediately, before she lost her nerve.

She’d surprised him, that much was obvious.

“Andie? Yes, of course, please come in.”

A simple nod towards Robert and he left the room without being asked. A man who wielded that kind of unspoken power would make an intimidating adversary. She’d better tread carefully.

They stared each other down for a few seconds, both of their expressions rigid with tension.

“Excuse me,” Zach said as he stood and closed his office door. “Something tells me we need privacy for this conversation.”

“I’m not someone who takes intimacy lightly,” she blurted and then regretted her impulsive words. She sounded so prim and proper.

“I respect that,” Zach countered. “I also jumped to that conclusion when you refused me yesterday. As a matter of fact, I was counting on it.”

“What about you? I thought you wanted no romantic entanglements.”

“I wouldn’t have chosen you if I didn’t feel an attraction to you,” he said bluntly. “I wouldn’t offer this arrangement to just anyone, hence all the interviews.”

“Oh,” was all she could manage. His brown eyes bored down on her and she couldn’t deny that she felt an attraction to him too. He was far from repulsive. Miles away.

“Look, Andie, I can see the turmoil in your expression. If you’re uncomfortable with this situation, perhaps it’d be best if you followed your gut instinct. I don’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with. I’m not a man who will force a woman to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Let’s not put ourselves in that position. It won’t turn out well.”

Andie assimilated this information, appreciated it, and then ignored it, saying what she wanted to say. “I’m sorry I bolted on you earlier. I was a little overwhelmed. You took me by surprise and I wasn’t prepared. I’ve thought things through and I want to accept your offer.”

Andie imagined herself thrusting her sword through the enemies torso, a fatal blow.

I win
.

If only her enemy in life was tangible.

“If you’re concerned about moral issues, may I remind you that we would be legally married. And unless you’re comfortable with the situation, it won’t happen. You won’t be under any pressure from me. However, I want you to enter this commitment with both eyes open, which means you need to be aware that consummation must happen at least once and I wanted that to be fully understood. No secrets, no surprises.” Zach turned and stared out the window as if lost in thought.

There was no hidden agenda. It is what it is and he simply wanted her to be aware. She appreciated that more than he knew. She knew she was going to say yes from the very beginning and after hearing his explanations and thinking things through, nothing had changed. And even though consummation was an unsettling thought, he was right, they would be legally married. It wasn’t as if he was asking her to do something unscrupulous. She’d face the consummation portion of the marriage when she had to. She’d wait until she knew him better. Surely they would become friends and hopefully like each other, maybe even enjoy each other’s company. If that were not the case, then she would do as he suggested and wait until the end of the year and then part ways as quickly and gracefully as possible. She took several deep breaths and said, “All right…agreed.”

He faced her, a huge smile of relief washing over his features. He was an inordinately handsome man and Andie wondered if she’d escape this year with her heart intact.

I can do this, it won’t be a horrific year, he’s a good man.

She yearned for comfort and security in her life and he was offering exactly that. Zach approached, slowly walking around his desk. He pulled something out of his pocket and, to her surprise, slipped a diamond ring on her finger. “Congratulations, we’re engaged,” he whispered. “Thank you for agreeing to this, Andie. I promise, you won’t regret it. You will be treated with the utmost respect.”

Andie felt speechless. Zachary Drake was still a bit of a mystery to her. And she hoped above anything that he was telling the truth, that there wasn’t any kind of deception involved in this agreement. She was taking a huge chance. But she’d do it for Nick.

Mr.
Killjoy
entered the room a few minutes later, going over the contract with her line by line and ensuring that she understood the legalities. Zach was right, it protected her as well as him. There was nothing one-sided about it. As Zach predicted, Robert objected to paying her the money in advance. He insisted that she receive monthly allotments in accordance with the keeping of the agreement. Nevertheless, Zach held firm. He was evidently a man of his word.

With a shaking hand and a squiggly signature, she signed the contract.

Zach apologized again for his method of weeding out the women he wouldn’t want to consider as wife material. He even seemed a little embarrassed over the event. They set their wedding date for June thirtieth, exactly three weeks away. Everything was happening so fast, making her feel lightheaded. Zach informed her that he would like to take her out on a few dates so they would be seen together before they announced their marriage. He also told her they would be honeymooning in his family’s summer home for one week in Tahoe.

“One week?” She couldn’t hide the alarm in her voice. It meant she had to be away from Nick for an entire week.

“We have to keep up appearances. No one can suspect the marriage isn’t real. It’s expected that I take my wife on a decent honeymoon. Is this a problem?”

Andie hid her consternation. She hated being separated from Nick. But in the long run, Zach had made it possible for her to spend her days with Nick instead of having to hold down a job and only have nights with Nick. It was an ideal arrangement. “No, I’ll work it out,” she told him. But spending a week with him left her filled with an alarming disquiet and a feeling of looming danger. She hardly knew this man. What if he wasn’t what he appeared to be? What if he really was some sort of psycho? Or pervert? What if he just wanted to take advantage of her? She’d be married to him and have almost no legal recourse.

The problem was she didn’t believe any of that for a moment. She only had to review it in her mind in the normal thought processes of decision-making. Otherwise, she’d be a fool.

No, she was sure he was exactly what he represented himself to be.

Over the next few days Andie told herself repeatedly that she was only doing this for Nick. In spite of her misgivings, a little thrill of excitement washed over her whenever she thought of Zachary Drake, taking her by complete surprise.

But in the end, she
was
doing this for Nick…she’d do anything for Nick.

Zach stared out the window brooding over his recent decision. This was simply a business arrangement, nothing more. He didn’t want it to be more, he wouldn’t let it be more. The problem was he’d never felt mesmerized by a woman before, but when he saw Andrea Parker’s ice blue eyes for the first time, he was speechless. Deep in those eyes, he saw a certain sadness that was, perhaps, mirrored in his own eyes. He realized in the two meetings he’d had with her, he’d never once seen her smile, not once. She filled him with the desire to make her smile, to bring happiness into her life. He felt ridiculous offering her a fake marriage for a year. And the conversation about consummation had been decidedly uncomfortable. It would appear he’d found a respectable woman, to his relief. Still, he was surprised when she’d agreed to it. Realistically, he hadn’t thought he’d be able to get anyone with a decent bone in their body to agree to his outlandish offer. He was pleasantly surprised by Andie and thrilled with her acceptance of his proposal. He smiled at the thought of her pointing her pepper spray at him, acting as though she was tough as nails, when in reality he could see the naked fear in her eyes.

“Have I made the right decision, Robert?” Robert sat at the desk, finishing paperwork. He may be a little stiff and formal, but he was a good man and had Zach’s best interests at heart.

“Do you have a choice?”

“No, I suppose I don’t.” He sighed in frustration.

“He just wanted you to be happy, Zach.”

“You know as well as I do that this is not how I will find happiness in marriage.”

“I don’t know. She seems like a nice young lady, demure, a little on the serious side and kind of…I don’t know, sad. I would say she’s seen her fair share of tragedy in her life, being widowed and all. But I think you chose well. To be honest, I’m surprised a young lady like her accepted the offer. You’re very lucky.”