For Keeps (Aggie's Inheritance) (18 page)

It seemed as if she’d never be able to explain her heart.
“
Well, when we got to the restaurant, the waitress led us to an amazing table that overlooks the lake. There were candles, on the tables, soft music played around us, and some couples danced out on the terrace. We talked about the menu, the music, and the stars…
”

“
That sounds so romantic.
”
Vannie’s sigh made her sound as if she were lost in a dream.

“
Vannie,
”
Aggie laughed,
“
it was like we were acting out lines from a movie or a book or something. There’s nothing wrong with candlelight dinners, beautiful music, and flowers. Yes, they
can
be romantic, but
--”
She struggled to find the right words to express how awkward it had all felt.
“
I guess what I’m trying to say is that tonight I learned that most of what we call ‘romance’ is not real life
--
or at least it’s not
my
real life.
”

“
But isn’t your real life whatever you make of it? If you aren’t something and you want to be, you start doing it and then you are.
”
A stubborn look flooded Vannie’s eyes. Aggie knew that look; it was the exact one she’d always seen in Allie when someone criticized the number of children they had, the lifestyle they led, or commented on the
“
waste
”
of Allie’s degree.
“
Mommy always said that if we don’t grow and embrace the new things the Lord brings into our lives, we become pathetic… no, apathetic.
”

“
I suppose you could argue that, in this instance, it’s the same thing.
”

“
Is it apathetic if I don’t want to squeeze that into my life? To me, it felt fake. You know, your dad used to bring your mom flowers whenever he came home from a trip.
”

“
I remember those flowers. Usually, they were red roses.
”
Only a slight sniffle told Aggie how much the memories pained her sensitive niece.

“
Well, in the traditional sense, that is what people consider romantic. Flowers, chocolate, nice dinners, concerts, and movies
--
those are some of the things that people think of when they think of romance. Do you know what your mom thought was the most romantic thing your father ever did for her?
”

Vannie shook her head. It seemed almost wrong to share things with Allie’s child that Allie hadn’t chosen to share herself, but at last, she decided that if Allie felt free to share with
her
, Aggie could pass the story on to Vannie.
“
Did you know that your father used to hold your mother’s head when she would vomit? Every pregnancy was hard on Allie.
”
She swallowed hard before continuing.
“
She would get so horribly ill with each baby; do you remember?
”

For a moment, the girl’s face was blank, but slowly she nodded, remembering. Clearly, Allie had managed to do an excellent job of hiding her morning sickness.
“
Well, she did. She was horribly sick every time for weeks. Your father would take sick days off work, stay home, and hold her hair out of the way while she threw up everything she tried to eat.
”
Her lip quivered as she tried to smile at the memory.
“
That’s what your mother found most romantic of everything your father ever did for her.
”

“
That sounds so gross!
”
Vann
ie’s nose wrinkled in distaste.
“
Daddy couldn’t stand being around sick people. He always threw up if he even heard one of us getting sick.
”

“
That’s exactly what Allie said. While he held her head and kept her hair out of the way, she’d throw up in a bowl, and he’d gag and sometimes get sick in the sink.
”
Aggie waited until she had Vannie’s full attention.
“
That’s my idea of real romance, Vannie. It’s someone caring enough about someone else that they will do anything to make that person feel special
--
even when the other person is getting sick.
”

“
And you didn’t feel special when you were out to dinner; is that it?
”

“
Well, it’s more like I didn’t think that kind of
--”
The talk seemed to be failing.
“
I didn’t feel like me. William didn’t feel like him. It all seemed like we were acting out lines because that is what books, movies, music, and magazines tell us you do on a date instead of it being what we naturally would do.
”

Several minutes passed as Vannie tried to process her aunt’s words. There were so many things that Aggie wanted to interject, many things she hoped she’d be able to say to make the girl understand, but her heart told her to wait. At last, the girl lifted troubled eyes to meet hers and asked,
“
Aunt Aggie, if you don’t date someone, how will you ever get married?
”

“
I don’t know. Maybe I’m not supposed to get married, or maybe it’s just that I’ll need to find another way. I just know that tonight I saw something I’ve never seen before.
”
Her niece’s eyes reminded her of old cartoons with question marks for pupils.
“
I saw that I don’t want to force a friendship into becoming something else, and that’s what that date tonight felt like. It seemed as if I was working to turn our friendship into something deeper and more intimate rather than waiting for God to change it with us and for us.
”
She rubbed her temple while searching and praying for words that would make Vannie understand and think about her own life as she grew into a young woman.
“
I don’t know how to explain it, Vannie. I am just not ‘going there’ again. I’d rather play a good game of Monopoly with you guys, inviting William to join us, than sit through another dinner like that.
”

“
You don’t think you’d get used to it?
”
Disappointment dripped from every word.

“
I don’t want to get used to it, sweetie. I don’t ever want to get used to acting like someone I’m not, and that’s exactly what I did tonight. I’m actually quite ashamed of myself.
”

For some time after Vannie dragged herself up the stairs, disappointed and a little disillusioned after their frank discussion, Aggie sat on the couch lost in her own thoughts. Had she made the right decision to share that information with her niece? Was the girl too young to understand? Was it right to plant seeds that might grow into weeds of disappointment? Of course, those thoughts came after it was too late to change anything.

The mantle clock chimed on the half hour and startled her.
“
Luke!
”
Dismayed, she raced for her laptop and carried it back to the couch, hoping he hadn’t waited for her all that time, and yet, illogically, praying he did. When she saw his status as
“
online,
”
her fingers flew across the keys.

Mibs says:
Luke? Are you still there? I can’t believe I kept you waiting.

Luke says:
Sure am! How did your date go?
”

Mibs says:
Flopped. I am NOT doing that again.

Luke says:
Really? I’m sorry. Was it bad like last time or…

Mibs says:
No, not at all. It was just so artificial. I’ve decided that dating and I don’t mix. *waits to hear the earth shake as Luke falls to the floor, stunned*

Luke says:
LOL. Nope, you won’t hear that from me. I decided the same thing back in high school after watching what Corinne went through.

Mibs says:
You’ve never dated either?

Luke says:
Nope.

Mibs says:
Well, Vannie would say,
“
No wonder you’re not married.
”
She asked how I’d ever get married if I didn’t date.

Mibs says:
That’s what took me so long. She came in, needed to talk it through. She’s very disappointed. I think I crushed her dreams of
romance.

Luke says:
Melanie got married without ever entering the dating scene. I liked what I saw. And, if she can con a great guy like Ryan into marrying her, then surely anyone can.

Mibs says:
Is that your other sister?

Luke says:
Yep. Olivia, Corinne, me, Cassie, then Melanie.

Mibs says:
Well, all I know is that I don’t ever want to sit through another fake meal again. BLECH.

Luke says:
You know what I never understood?

Mibs says:
What’s that?

Luke says:
Well, if you ask people why they date, they usually say something like,
“
it is a way to get to know them better.
”
So then, inevitably, you find out they’re going to a movie. What sense does that make?

Mibs says:
That’s a good point! I mean, you sit in a dark theater, can’t see their reaction to what is happening on the screen, you can’t talk…

Luke says
: My point exactly.

Mibs says:
I wish I’d never gone in the first place. When William brought it up, it made sense. It even sounded fun. It was NOT fun.

Luke says:
Does William feel the same way?

Mibs says:
*shrugs*

Mibs says:
Confession time: I was horribly rude to William again when we got home. I mean, the dinner was nothing like last time. It was pleasant and everything.

Luke says:
So, what makes you think you were rude to him?

Mibs says:
Probably the way I informed him that I was determined to remain single. FOREVER. Emphasis in the original conversation…

Luke says:
LOL. That’d probably do it.