For Darkness Shows the Stars (24 page)

Dear Kai,

I waited for you in the barn tonight, but you never came. It was dark and scary in there alone. Where were you? How can you stand it in there, with all the machines and the creaking? Do you believe in ghosts?

Your friend,

Elliot

Dear Elliot,

I want to believe in ghosts. It would be nice to think that we stay around after we die. I also like what the ancients thought about our spirits traveling up the island and into the sea. But, honestly? I don’t know if I do.

When I was younger, the older Posts used to try to scare me with the old Gavin and Carlotta stories. I used to have horrible nightmares, before my dad told me that none of them are true. But that was ages ago. I’m twelve years old. I’m not scared anymore.

Your friend,

Kai

Dear Kai,

The Gavin and Carlotta stories scare me too. Tatiana makes me play that game with her in the star-cavern sanctuary sometimes. But they don’t need to be ghosts to haunt us. They were real, and what they did haunts all of us, every day, forever.

Your friend,

Elliot

Dear Elliot,

Well, I guess it’s your job to be scared of Gavin and Carlotta, right? I mean, you’re a Luddite. If Luddites weren’t scared of the technology, they would have done it themselves, and then everyone would be Reduced.

Though that makes me wonder. If I’m a Post, it means my genes overcame Gavin and Carlotta. Overcame the Reduction. I wonder if it means that I’m immune now? Maybe I could stand in the mirror chanting a thousand times and Gavin and Carlotta couldn’t do anything to me. Maybe I could resist Reduction if I had ERV.

Your friend,

Kai

Dear Kai,

I’m going to burn your letter. Do you have any idea how much trouble we could both get in if anyone read this?

Your friend,

Elliot

Dear Elliot,

Then burn this one too. Sometimes I wonder about Gavin and Carlotta. What if they weren’t monsters like everyone says? They didn’t think they did anything wrong because it was all so natural, so simple. It didn’t take surgery, or billions of stem cells or whatever the Lost used to use. The blueprint was already inside of us. They just reached in and turned it on. They made us the best versions of ourselves—more human than human.

I know what happened, and I still think I would have chosen to get ERV. But I guess that’s why I’m not a Luddite. Because I just sit here wondering what kind of machine breaks just because you try to use it to its full potential?

Your friend,

Kai

Dear Kai,

I don’t pretend to know as much about machines as you, but I know the answer to that question. Machines are designed to run a certain way. If you remove their safety constraints, if you put them in permanent overdrive or run them faster or harder than intended, they will break. That’s what Gavin and Carlotta’s enhancements did. They tried to make humans into Gods. They tried to make us work better than what God intended.

And we broke.

Your friend,

Elliot

Dear Elliot,

I’m not broken.

Your friend,

Kai

T
HE SOFT LIGHT ILLUMINATING
Ro’s window was not the flicker of a candle, but the steady white glow of a sun-lamp. Even there, Elliot had been trumped. No doubt Ro could garden all night now that she had help from Kai.

Except who’d been taking care of Ro for the last four years while Kai ran off and made his fortune? They didn’t need his largesse. They didn’t need his pity. They most certainly didn’t need him sneaking around her barn, fixing her machines behind her back. She stomped up to Ro’s door and knocked. There was a quick shuffle inside.

“Ro?” Elliot knocked again. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

But again there was no answer.

“Ro!” Elliot pushed open the door, annoyed, but stopped dead on the threshold. Kai and Ro sat on the floor, their hands in mud up to their elbows, while an array of pots, half covered with a tarp, lay between them.

“Oh.” Elliot began to back up, but Ro cried out, and she hesitated. What was he doing there so late at night? She hadn’t seen his sun-cart outside. Had he walked here? Had he run on swifter-than-they-should-be enhanced feet?

Kai also seemed to be weighing the situation. He glanced down at the half-covered pots, then up at Elliot, his inhuman eyes blinking in confusion. “How is your grandfather?”

Four words. Four words after days of silence, and yet they were the ones she expected least. It wasn’t about the past. It wasn’t about his secrets. It wasn’t even about his surreptitious and unwelcome repair work. He asked about the Boatwright, like he was just anyone. Like he was a friend. She balled her fists in her skirt and didn’t answer him.

Ro looked back and forth between them and frowned. She was wearing her scarf like a turban tonight, with all her bright hair tucked up underneath its twists and weaves.

Kai pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll go.”

“No!” Ro grabbed for his arm with her muddy hands.

He looked down at her. “I’m sorry, Ro. Elliot doesn’t want me here.”

Ro shook her head. “Me.” She gestured to the room.
Her room
. Where what Elliot wanted didn’t really matter. Kai sank to his knees again, though Ro didn’t let go of his arm. Instead, she looked at Elliot until she, too, came inside and closed the door behind her.

Then Ro smiled and went back to her pots. She pushed one toward Elliot, and Elliot stared in awe at the striped beauty it held. Ro had certainly been busy with her experiments, unless this was some Post varietal that Kai had sneaked to her. She wouldn’t put it past him.

“It’s very beautiful, Ro,” she said. “Is it a gift, like your scarf?”

Ro made snipping motions with her hands, and Elliot cringed.

Kai’s voice came from above. “She’s quite the geneticist, isn’t she?”

“Shut up,” Elliot grumbled. Ro threw a clod of dirt at her.

“How long have you known this was going on?” Kai asked.

Elliot said nothing. She pressed her hands into the dirt, packing the soil around the cuttings as Ro instructed.

“I can’t figure out how she knew what to do,” Kai said. “There must be Posts on this land experimenting behind your back.”

She bit back a laugh that was more like a scream. Of course he’d think that. Of course he’d give credit to anyone else. She flew through the pots Ro handed her. Some were sickly, withering in the winter chill, or perhaps without sufficient light, or maybe because they were varietals that were never meant to survive—little flower versions of the Lost. And yet others were astounding—full and rich and beautiful, and despite the darkness of the winter, despite the gloom of Ro’s cabin, they were as bright as the colors on the Posts’ coats.

“Elliot?” He reached over, stilling her muddy fingers with his own, and she froze. She stared unblinking down at their hands. Once, she had taken his touch for granted. Now, it meant everything, and she wished it did not. “You
know
there are Posts here doing experiments? Who?”

“I want you to stay out of my barn,” she mumbled without looking up.

“I know,” he replied. “You were quite clear a few weeks ago.”

She had also been clear that he should never speak to her again. Didn’t seem to have stopped him. “You have no right to mess with my machines.”

“Ah.” He sat back on his heels, and his hand slipped off hers. Elliot swallowed, but whether it was in relief or disappointment, she dared not guess. “So you see a few new gears and because you know that you have no one on your estate competent enough to fix them, you assumed it must have been me.”

Elliot met his eyes. “Wasn’t it?”

“Answer me, first.” Kai leaned in. “Who are the Posts on your estate doing agricultural experiments?”

She took a deep breath. “There are no Posts on the North estate doing experiments.”

“You lie.” He sounded more hurt than accusing.

She shook her head.

“You mean you don’t know, and you don’t have the heart to try to root them out.”

“I’ll thank you not to make such assumptions.”

Ro looked at the array of unfinished pots she’d pushed over to Elliot and whined. Elliot started work again.

“Elliot—”

“I answered your question!” she snapped at him. “And I don’t need you to answer mine.
You
fixed those machines. You did it to show me up. Good on you. Aren’t you the expert! I am properly humbled.”

“I didn’t do it to show you up. I did it so the workers on the estate would have an easier time.”

She snorted. “Very magnanimous.” She lowered her head and mumbled beneath her breath, “And a good deal more practical than a silk scarf.”

Kai chuckled. “Along with my other abominations, I have extremely keen hearing.”

“And yet you’re wretched at comprehension. I thought I made it clear to you that I don’t want to talk to you, that I don’t want to see you.” She could lie well enough to convince him.

“Which is why I never let you know when I came to the barn.”

“Sneaking around behind my back is not obeying the spirit of my request!”

“So I’m banished from the North estate, is that what you’re saying?” Kai asked. “Never mind about the people living on your lands who want to have me here—you’re the lord, so what you say goes?”

Yes!
Elliot bit her tongue to keep from screaming it. He was right. If Ro wanted him here, if Gill wanted him to fix the machines, there was little Elliot could do to stop it. And it would be petty of her to try. Her argument was not theirs. Unlike Kai, she didn’t require that all her friends hate him on her behalf. After all, she couldn’t even muster up hatred for him herself. She pushed herself to her feet. “Ro, I’ll come back another time.”

Ro’s face crumpled. “No . . . El . . .”

Kai was also standing. On a normal man, it might have been a scramble, but with him, it just happened. He went from sitting on the floor to blocking her path to the door in a blink. “Don’t leave. You’re upsetting her.”

She’d upset Ro if she burst into tears, too.

“Please,” said Kai. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She gave a rueful laugh. “That’s new.”

“It is.” The words brought her up short, and he pressed his advantage. “You know what is happening in this cottage, don’t you? On this estate? Why keep it a secret from me?”

She stiffened. “I can’t believe you’re asking that question after your behavior to me since you returned. I do not trust you, as you have told me time and again that you do not trust me.”

“I trust you now. I’m trusting you with my life. With the lives of everyone I love.”

“Oh, please!” Elliot exclaimed, fighting to keep her voice steady.
Everyone he loves . . . Everyone
was the Fleet. No one else. No one here, and yet he wanted to know all her most dangerous secrets. Her family took advantage of her. She was unlikely to give Malakai Wentforth the same leverage. “You say that as if you willingly took me into your confidence, and now I owe you the same exchange. We both know that’s not the case.”

Ro now stood between them, wringing her hands.

When Kai spoke again, his voice was kind. It had to be for Ro’s benefit. “What would I have to gain by ruining whatever they are doing here?”

“Supremacy over the North estate when you become a Grove?” Elliot suggested.

His eyes narrowed. “I have no wish to—to live on the Grove estate.” He sighed in exasperation. “And I certainly have no wish to triumph at the expense of the Posts I grew up with.”

Not like he wished to triumph over her. She stood there, almost shaking her head in pity at what had become of them. Once she’d thought there were no two people in the world who had more to talk about. They could say anything to each other—they
had
—and their affection had only grown stronger. But it had all come to nothing.

If only she could speak to him as she once had. If only he had been willing to be honest with her from the start. It didn’t need to be the same between them for it to be worthwhile. For it to be something.

Elliot took a deep, shuddering breath. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, all she saw was Kai. “There are no Posts on the North estate doing experiments,” she repeated.

And this time, he understood.