Read For Cheddar or Worse Online
Authors: Avery Aames
Lara positioned herself at one head of the table. Erin faced her, at the opposite end. Jordan, Shayna, and I sat on one side. Victor, Ryan, and Kandice on the other.
The dinner, which included a choice of two salads, each constructed from the farm's sustainable garden, as well as a beef dish served with a potato
galette
or an herb-baked spring chicken accompanied by chanterelle mushroomâParmesan risotto, was a wonderful wealth of flavors.
Conversation about the day's event continued nonstop until Victor, who occupied the chair to Lara's right, stood and reached for the bottle of cabernet, which Lara had placed on a wine coaster near her.
Lara slapped his hand. “Uh-uh, Victor.”
“I would like a taste.”
“Stick to the white, like the others,” she said. The remaining guests, excluding Shayna and Ryan, had opted for a local chenin blanc. “It's a much better match for the chicken.”
I watched Victor and Lara intently, wondering what power play was under way between the two of them. Did she always need the upper hand? Victor glanced from the bottle to Lara. She didn't blink. Resigned, Victor slunk into
his chair. He whipped out his cell phone and opened his text message app. As he typed, his gaze swung right and left, like a prairie dog alert for danger.
“Victor.” Lara threw him a peeved look. “Care to put that away?”
“Not unless you care to share the red wine.”
“Ha-ha. You are too funny.” Lara poured herself more wine and slugged down a big gulp. “So, Shayna.” She turned to her ex-partner. “How's business, darling?”
The ponytailed waitress appeared and asked if anyone would like a refill of wine. She lifted the bottle of cabernet.
Lara thrust her wineglass at the woman although she hadn't finished what was in it. “Yes, please.”
The waitress poured a small amount. Lara waved for her to add more then indicated Shayna's glass. “Pour a little wine for my friend.”
“I'll take some of that,” Victor said.
“No, you won't.” Lara eagle-eyed Shayna. “Darling, I asked you a question.”
Shayna put her hand over the top of her glass. “No, thanks,” she said to the waitress. Was she making a stand to support Victor, who was glaring at Lara? The waitress looked flummoxed. She set the wine back on its coaster.
“Aw, you're no fun.” Lara's words were slightly slurred. How much had she had to drink? The bottle of cabernet looked about one-third full. She flitted her fingers at Shayna and took a long swallow of wine. “Business, Shayna.”
Shayna answered, “Business is good.”
“Is it thriving despite the blandness of your overrated cheese?”
Kandice warned, “Lara, don't.”
Lara cut her a look. “Don't yourself. Keep out of my affairs, and I'll keep out of yours.”
“As if,” Kandice said.
Lara tapped her chest with a thumb. “I know cheese.”
“Not as well as you think,” Ryan retorted. “I've been reading your latest book.”
I had, too. Rereading. During our breaks. I'd forgotten
how much I enjoyed the poetic words she chose to describe cheese:
chewy
,
pillowy
,
velvety
. They were words I used on a daily basis.
Lara arched an eyebrow and did a slow burn to Ryan. “Is that so? This from aâ”
“Don't say it.” Ryan brandished a finger.
“Hack!” Lara spit out the word.
I gulped. Jordan clasped my hand.
“I have credits,” Ryan said.
“You know squat, Mr. Harris,” Lara said. “Shayna's cheese is bland. Her farm is inadequately run.”
Shayna's face tinged fuchsia. She fingered the knife on her table mat.
Lara tilted her head and threw Shayna a patronizing look. “Tell them, darling. I'm not lying.”
“Lara, please,” Shayna whispered.
But Lara didn't quit. “You have no finesse. You have nothing
new
to add to the market. Your cheese has always been bland. It didn't become popular until I showed up. I made people sit up and take notice. It's all about labeling.
Underhill
cheese. Really?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “How boring. But Underhill
Sizzling Summer
cheese. Now that's tantalizing. Tell them, Shayna.”
“Stop it,” Ryan hissed.
But Lara couldn't seem to help herself. She pressed on. “In our line of work,
new
is vital. Trite, banal, and dreary?
That
kills just about anyâ”
“Enough!” Victor stood. He snatched Lara's drink out of her hand, set it on the table, and clenched her wrist. “It's time for you to retire. Let's go.”
CHAPTER
Lara wrenched free. “Why you!” Her arm flapped backward. She struck her hand on the top of the chair and yelped like a wounded animal. “I'll never retire, you fool, and you know it!”
Everyone in the dining room gasped, me included.
Under his breath, Victor said, “You know what I meant.”
“Don't try to
handle
me,” Lara went on. “A man like you will never
handle
me.” She aimed a warning finger. “Besides, I'm not leaving until I've eaten dessert.” She lifted her wineglass, took a defiant sip, and swung the glass toward Erin. “This isn't bad, young lady. Surprising, given the standards at this farm.”
“I'm s-s-sorry?” Erin clutched the table with two hands to brace herself. “What's wrong with the standards?”
“You've let the place go.” Lara waved her free hand at the pair of mahogany hutches that held the crystal and china. “This place is a dump.”
Bette Davis in
All About Eve
couldn't have uttered the line with more vehemence.
“Cut it out, Lara!” Shayna bolted to her feet. She banged the butt of the knife on the table. “You have no right to speak to people like this.”
“Oh, but I do. It's America, darling. I have the right to speak my mind wherever I want, whenever I want.”
I mouthed to Jordan:
Uh-oh
. What could we do to keep the evening from spiraling out of control?
Lara swung her gaze back to Erin. “What were you thinking, darling”âLara hoisted her wineglass and motioned at the other guestsâ“inviting people here when your domain is in this kind of shape?”
“I think it's lovely,” I said. “Quaint.”
“The cheese facility is quaint, all right,” Lara said. “As in small and understaffed. The grounds are a horror. Unplowed. Untended.”
They were not; she was deliberately being malicious.
“Honestly,” Lara continued, “have any of you really studied these relics Erin has on display?”
“Lara,” Shayna warned.
“Lara,” Victor echoed.
She ignored them and lasered Erin with a glance. “Don't you dust inside these cabinets? Oh, wait. Why should you? Nothing in them is valuable. That vaseâ”
Erin cut her off. “That vase is a Lismore Castle vase, I'll have you know, purchased in Ireland. It was my mother's favorite piece of Waterford.”
Good for you,
I thought.
Watch out, Lara
. Erin will defend hearth, home, and family. Back in school, I had seen her defend Andrew many times. Kids called him a nerd, a freak. On one occasion, a teacher sent Erin to the principal's office because she, a little bite-sized girl, slugged a bully.
“What about the ginger pots?” Like a knight unwilling to concede the duel, Lara jutted a finger as if it were an
épée.
“My mother bought them in China.” Erin's voice could have cut steel. “Those, as well as the jade carvings you see in the case.”
Kandice tapped the table with a fingernail to get everyone's attention. “Hey, didn't a seller on that
Antiques
Roadshow
find out her jade was worth something in the millions? Erin, have you had any of your things appraised?”
“No.”
“You should.”
“Kandice!” Lara swiveled and skewered Kandice with a lethal gaze. “Don't be ridiculous. I was looking at those items earlier. They're worthless.”
“How would you know?” Erin asked.
Lara sniffed. “Because I am a collector of rare things.”
Shayna scoffed. “You? A collector?”
“Indeed. I have a few Ming vases, some tooled silver from the Conquistadors, a Degas, a Miró.”
“Here we go,” Victor groaned.
“
Here we go?
” Lara's voice skated upward. “Victor, darling, you of all people
know
I speak the truth. You've seen my house.”
Victor frowned. “All I saw were a few pieces of fine art and the cheese-related antiques like the
Liliput
cheese press by Carson and Toone. When did you get the rest?”
Lara offered a smug smile. “Time marches on, darling. I've enhanced my collection since you were there last.”
Victor seemed less than convinced. “So now you need to brag about them?”
“I wouldn't push it, Victor.”
“Why not?”
“I might reveal to everyone that you”âLara wielded her fingerâ“
you know what
.”
“Stop it!” Erin banged the table with her fist. “That's enough, Miss Berry!” Her voice bounced off the walls. “This . . . this whole affair . . . this brain trust was supposed to be fun, but youâ”
Overhead, someone started tapping. Loudly and furiously. Andrew. The tapping became pounding, then stomping. Something jangled, too.
Erin peered upward. So did everyone else.
Tears sprang to Erin's eyes. She zeroed in on Lara. “Look what you've done. You are so . . . I have a mind to . . .” She scrubbed her hair with her fingertips. “Ooh!”
She raced from the room and charged up the stairs to the second floor. A door opened and slammed.
No one said a word for a long moment.
Ryan's voice pierced the silence. “Ma'am . . . Miss Berry . . .” His nostrils flared; obviously it required all his resolve to be polite. “I've visited and consulted lots of farms like this one. Yes, they are in need of work, but that doesn't mean they are going to seed. People do the best with the funds they have.”
Lara scoffed. “Why don't these people pick another profession? Why engage in a losing battle?”
“Because sometimes a farm is a family's lifeblood,” Ryan said. “You . . . you have no regard for any of these fine folks. Why, you've nearly ruined some enterprises with your reviews.”
“Not nearly ruined,” Lara cut in. “I have ruined them. And they deserved it.”
My pulse started to chug. I wanted to tell Lara offâI was no longer a fanâexcept I couldn't because Erin entered the dining room. With her brother.
Andrew was taller than Erin by a foot and thicker all overâbroad shoulders, broad foreheadâbut his features were similar and he had the same red hair. He carried a drumstick in one hand and a tambourine in the other.
“Sweetheart,” Erin said. “These are our guests. Everyone, this is my brother, Andrew. I've told some of you about him.” She seared Lara with a meaningful look.
Andrew peered above the heads of everyone, unwilling to make eye contact. “Guests,” he said.
“Yes, sweetheart, guests. We were having a lively conversation. No one meant any harm.”
“
Some
people meant harm,” Lara said.
Anger throbbed in my temples. I wanted a crack at her. Just one. A single pop to the nose to set her straight. My typically sweet-natured husband looked almost as furious as I was.
Andrew wheeled toward Lara, his mouth drawn into a tight line. He craned an ear. Was he trying to determine
whether Lara's was the voice of the person he had heard badgering his sister?
“What're you gawking at, Andy?” Lara challenged.
My mouth fell open. Gack. What had happened to the woman who told Erin that she
understood
what a person with autism suffered? Did Lara lie about having a nephew to win Erin's trust? She asked Erin if she wanted to sell her property. Was that Lara's real purpose for attending the brain trust? Ryan hinted that Lara helped destroy a few properties. Maybe unsettling Erin and forcing her to divest of her family's farm was Lara's endgame.
“Lara,” I said, not sure what else I might add but ready to intervene.
Andrew tapped the drumstick against his leg.
Lara didn't falter. “Do you have a beef with me, Andy?”
Andrew's mouth moved in time to the tapping but no words came out. The tambourine jangled because his movements were so jerky.
“Andrew, don't,” Erin whispered. “Sweetheart. Please.” She glowered at Lara. “You said you understood that he's challenged.”
“I do understand, darling,” Lara said, her tone haughty, “but that doesn't mean I have to abide you parading him around to make a fool of me.”
“I'm not paradingâ”
“Yes, you are. You want to win the sympathy vote. You want everyone here to think I'm an ogre.” She gazed at Andrew. “Look at him. Not an iota of eye contact.” Lara rapped the side of her head. “No one's home.”
Andrew lashed the table near Lara with the drumstick.
“Andrew, no!” Erin cried.
Lara reeled back. “Get him out of here, Erin. Right. Now.”
“Lara,” I said, rising from the table.
Jordan echoed me.
“You two, stay out of it,” she ordered.
Erin corralled her brother. She placed a hand on the drumstick. “Andrew, keep calm.”
“Calm,” Andrew echoed.
“Count.”
“Count,” he repeated.
“By tens.”
Andrew began to tap the drumstick on the tambourine. “Ten, twenty, thirty . . .”
“Let's go to your room, sweetheart.” Erin gripped her brother's elbow and guided him toward the foyer.
When they disappeared, I couldn't hold back. Every fiber in me was quivering with rage. “Lara,” I said. “You had no right.”
“Please. Not you, too. Why do I bother?” Lara pushed back her chair. She faltered. “I'm going upstairs. I have a splitting headache.” She grabbed her Prada purse off the floor, swooped up the platter of cheese and fruit that was set in the middle of the table as well as the bottle of cabernet and the near-empty wineglass, and staggered out of the dining room.
I gaped at Jordan. His mouth was hanging open, too. Shayna's teeth were clenched. Ryan's jaw ticked with tension.
Kandice plucked at her hairdo. Her lips were quivering. “What just happened?” she asked.
Victor said, “Hurricane Lara blew through and decimated the island.”
“Does she . . .” I stammered. “Do you know this side of her?”
Victor shrugged.
Silence fell over the lot of us. I could hear the
ticktock
of the grandfather clock in the living room. The twin waitresses entered through the archway, each carrying a tray of dessert selections, but no one wanted any of them. The sprightly nature of the event was doused. Minutes later, everyone went their separate ways.
By ten, Jordan and I were tucked into bed. He fell asleep instantly. I tried to read more of Lara's bookâI wanted to reread the section on Midwest cheesesâbut I couldn't get past two pages. I wasn't sure I could ever read another word written by her.
I slept fitfully. Around two
A.M.
I stirred. Had I heard a
door open and close? I curled into Jordan and whispered, “Are you awake?”
He mumbled, “Now I am.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Can I stop you?” He faced me and cupped a hand behind my head. “Go on.”
“Do you think Erin will cancel the event?”
“She's a businesswoman. This brain trust has brought all sorts of people to the farm. The revenue will be a boon to her. She'll rally. Promise. In the morning, she will have found her smile, we'll continue with day two of the brain trust, and all will be well with the world.” He kissed my forehead and said, “Go to sleep.”
At four
A.M.
Saturday morning, I roused a second time. I heard footsteps in the hallway, and again heard a door click open and closed. I drifted back to sleep.
***
At dawn, the rooster crowed, and Jordan and I stirred. We dressed in casual clothes and took a brisk walk. At half past seven, we convened with the others in the breakfast room. The aroma of coffee and something sweetâpear-cheese Danish, I was pretty sureâpermeated the air. I drew in a deep whiff. My stomach growled:
Feed me
.
“Let's sit over there.” Jordan pointed to an empty table.
“Not feeling friendly?”
He grinned. “I'm hungry and don't want to share those pastries. We'll get a full basket to ourselves.”
“Smart man.”
We nestled at the table and each nabbed a pastry. Heavenly.
Kandice sat at the table beyond us, all by herself, reviewing a schedule.
Shayna, looking fresh in a white laceâon-blue dress, was sitting with Ryan and Victor. Ryan was scarfing down a roll. Victor was typing furiously on his cell phone. Had he come downstairs without looking in the mirror? His hair was mussed, his polo-style shirt only partially tucked in.
Erin bustled between tables. Her hair, which was braided with ribbon, swung to and fro.
Shayna yelped. “You performed the rings, really?” She squeezed Ryan's bicep.
“Iron cross and everything. No joke. There's a picture on the bio page of my website. Check it out.”
“I love watching the Olympics. Way back when, I had a crush on Bart Conner. When he won the bronze for the ringsâ”
“That was Mitch Gaylord,” Ryan said. “Conner won a gold for the parallel bars.”