Foolish Notions (18 page)

“I just like watching you.”
He had always enjoyed watching her. He had liked the way she walked
into a crowded room— every head would turn, but she never
noticed because her eyes were always on him. Like they were now.

“What are you thinking about?”
she asked.

He nuzzled his face in her hair and
took a deep breath. “I’m thinking how nice this evening
turned out.”

She looked back into the darkness.
“Yes, it has.”

He put an arm around her. “Are
you warming up?”

“Yes, thank you.” She
leaned into his embrace. The light contact caused a stir deep within
her.

James brought his other arm around her
and glanced at his watch.

Samantha looked down at hers, too. “Do
you want to go?”

James shook his head and laughed. “Not
at all. The last thing I want is for this evening to end.” He
let his arm fall possessively against her. “I was just noticing
we’ve been gone for an hour and forty-five minutes. My mom is
probably doing a victory dance right now.”

“Or running through the house
naked.” Samantha rested her head against his chest. “She’s
not subtle, is she?”

“She never has been. But the sad
thing is, she probably thinks she has outsmarted us.”

“There’s only four more
weeks to go. It will all be over soon.”

He turned her around so she faced him.
“You’re beautiful.” The words came out a soft
whisper and were almost carried off by the breeze before they reached
her ears. Cupping her face he pulled her close, raising her lips to
within inches of his. He held the position for an instant. In her
eyes he found the unspoken promise that she wanted this as much as
he.

The kiss, although gentle, held a
year’s worth of longing, a year’s worth of waiting. While
her lips trembled with excitement and anxiety against his, her hands
remained steady when they sunk into his hair at the base of his neck.
She shifted her weight slightly to get closer. She wanted to feel
him. She wanted to feel all of him against her. She hadn’t been
held or kissed in so long. Carnal instinct took over as she deepened
the kiss. He tasted of wine. It was mild and sweet. An old
familiarity filled her perfectly.

James pulled her hair to the side and
glided the tip of his tongue along the small of her neck, causing
bumps to form in its wake. He nibbled softly as he moved slowly to
the base and continued across the top of her shoulder. In the shallow
hollow of her shoulder was where he found her need for him bubbling
desperately trying to get out. He allowed her pulse to thud against
his tongue before moving on. Covering her breast with his hand, he
lifted its weight in his palm and began kneading it until a cry
passed over her lips.

His other hand was soothing as it
roamed over her entire body, trying to feel all of it. God, he wanted
to make love to her right here. He was seriously contemplating the
thought when he heard his name being spoken, and it wasn’t
Samantha’s heavy voice that found its way to his ears.

“James?”

James turned around, blocking Samantha
from the intruders, giving her time to smooth out her hair and
straighten her clothes.

James recognized Ed and his wife in the
pale light. James shook his hand. “Ed.” And then he
reached for the woman’s hand. “Good evening, Barbara.”

“Mr. Taylor, how have you been?”

James nodded briskly and tried to keep
the irritation out of his voice when he spoke. “I’m well,
thank you.”

“Samantha, is that you? By God,
it is.” Ed slapped his thigh with the palm of his hand. “Well,
I’ll be damned. You’re the last person I expected—”

Ed’s wife cut in. “Why
don’t you introduce us, Ed?” The woman looked
apologetically at Samantha.

Ed shut his mouth immediately and then
began introductions. “This is my wife Barbara. Barbara this is
Samantha, James’s—uh—James’s—”

James cleared his throat as he watched
Ed stutter. “This is a good friend of mine, Samantha.”

“It’s nice to meet you,
Samantha.”

Samantha lifted her eyes just long
enough to say, “Likewise.”

Much to everyone’s relief, the
waiter immediately ushered Ed and Barbara to a table in the far
corner.

Samantha moved toward their table. With
a perfectly composed expression, she said, “I think I’m
ready to go home.”

“The waiter just brought the
coffee.” James gestured to the cups on the table. He could feel
the anger in him starting to rise and he did nothing to try and
stifle it.

She didn’t even look at the
coffee. “I don’t feel like coffee anymore.”

James would have thoroughly enjoyed
placing his hands around Ed’s neck and slowly squeezing. He
decided that sending him somewhere out of the country for several
weeks would suffice. Ed not only hated long business trips, he also
couldn’t stand to fly. James glared at the table across the
room a final time, before turning his attention back to Samantha. He
felt her anxiety as he watch her gather up her purse. “Sam—”

“Please, James. I don’t
know what just happened. It shouldn’t have happened. I didn’t
want it to happen.” She pressed the palm of her hand against
her forehead. “I can’t even think.” She looked up.
“What I’m trying to say is, this is a mistake.”

“What do you mean?”
Realizing his voice was a little loud he instinctively lowered it. He
was a private man who kept his personal life just that, personal.
“What do you mean you don’t know what just happened? I’ll
tell you what almost happened. We just about made love in a
restaurant.” When she didn’t speak, he looked at her
accusingly. “Are you going to deny it?” He leaned in
closer. “We want each other like—”

“Please, stop.” She kept
her eyes averted. “I want to go home.”

“Running from this isn’t
going to make it go away.”

“I’m not running from
anything because there’s nothing to run from.” She took
off his coat and handed it to him.

James shoved it back at her. “Put
the damn coat back on.”

“I don’t need it anymore.”

“Samantha.”

She shrugged the coat back on. “There.
Are you satisfied now?”

“What is going to satisfy me is
to hear you admit what just happened.”

“A mistake just happened.”

“Damn it, Samantha.”

Samantha glanced over her shoulder at
Ed and Barbara, who were trying their best to discreetly eavesdrop.
“This isn’t the time or the place for this.”

He raised his hands in the air, giving
up. “Okay, fine.”

“Thank you.”

Slowly, James rubbed the back of his
hand against her cheek. “You will come to me, Samantha. And
when you do you won’t deny how much you want me.” He
placed his hand in the small of her back and guided her through the
dining area to the car.

James walked into his mom’s room.
The early morning light revealed she was resting on her side, her
back toward him. He could see her body rise and fall in the rhythm of
sleep. This round of chemo hit her hard, the worst part happening
around two this morning.

The commotion had woken him from a dead
sleep. By the time he had gotten to his mom’s room Samantha was
already there. She had moved about the room with efficient speed,
taking care of everything, while he stood against the wall like a
helpless fool. He couldn’t even figure out what was going on,
so many things were happening at once. It wasn’t until Samantha
had run into him twice that she finally shooed him out.

A large green bowl still rested a few
feet from Marie’s head, a sign of just how weak she was. He
swallowed hard. He wanted to talk to her. He needed to touch her. But
he knew she needed her rest more than his words and support right
now. Besides, didn’t he really just want to reassure himself
that she was okay? That was part of it, but he also felt like he had
to let her know that she was going to be fine.

He cringed inside. How was he going to
let her know that she was going to be all right? He was completely
helpless to her. Hell, Samantha was more assistance to her right now
than he was. He turned his head away and forced himself to leave the
room.

He moved down the hall, and stood at
Samantha’s door for several moments before he opened it. She,
too, was sleeping with her back to him. He moved into the room,
quietly closing the space between them.

He took his time as he watched her. The
peak of her golden shoulder was exposed, revealing a swatch of the
white cotton tank top she wore. Her hair tumbled around her, covering
skin and pillow in a haphazard fashion. He wanted to bury himself in
the chaotic mess and never find his way out again.

He took a seat next to her. His weight
on the mattress caused her to roll onto her back. Even as she slept,
he could see lines of exhaustion across her face. Eyelashes, thick
and dark, rested against her cheeks like delicate, miniature fans.
Her lips were parted ever so slightly. He divided his attention
between her face and the curvy gray outline of her body.

He had been so lonely without her. From
the outside, it appeared as if he had everything, but inside he
couldn’t have been emptier. Over the last year his approach to
life had become so callous. His steely nature was once reserved
purely for work, but it had somehow crept into his personal life,
too. He didn’t like the man he was becoming. He needed her to
balance him, to love him, to tie his two worlds together. He wasn’t
complete unless he had her by his side.

Samantha’s heavy lashes lifted to
expose weariness in her eyes. “James?”

His hand moved to her head where he
fingered her hair. “Yes.” He whispered the word as he
leaned down toward her.

“Is Marie all right?” She
licked her lips. “Does she need me?”

I need you. “She’s
sleeping,” he said in a calming voice. “She’s fine.
I just checked on her.”

Grogginess drenched her voice when she
spoke in a hushed tone. “I didn’t think I’d ever
get her settled.”

He kept stroking her hair. “I
know. It was a long night.”

Her eyes dropped, then slowly lifted.
“She was so sick. I knew the pain must have been unbearable.”

He nodded, but wasn’t sure she
could see him in the dim light. He left her hair and touched her face
affectionately.

“I finally had to give her a
sleeping pill.” She pressed her face against the palm of his
hand and snuggled into the pillow. “You’re warm.”
Her eyes drifted closed. “She didn’t want to take it. I
forced her.”

“She needed it,” he
countered. To his touch, her skin was incredibly soft and tender. His
thumb began deliberate lazy strokes. The motion was feathery light
and the meager contact was amazingly intimate. He fought the urge to
lie down next to her and pull her close to him.

“I think I yelled at her . . .
did you hear?”

A smile touched his lips. “No,
you didn’t yell.” Samantha very rarely raised her voice.
She was a little more resourceful than that. Last night she had cut
to the chase. She had threatened his mother into taking the pill.

“What did I say?” She
yawned. “I don’t even remember.”

“You told her that you’d
never have dinner with me again if she didn’t swallow the damn
pill.” He added, “And of course, I’m quoting you.”

She eyed him through mere slits. “Well,
it worked.”

“I’m not saying anything,”
he said defensively. He was all for whatever got the job done. He had
used threats more than once in his line of work, too.

“You’ll say something, you
always do.” She pulled her legs up close. “She was so
fatigued—”

Using his finger, he hushed her. “You
did the right thing. Rest is vital right now. We both know that. She
knows that. Mom just has a phobia about taking pills of any kind.”
He pulled his hand from the warmth of her cheek and kissed her on the
forehead. Her skin was warm against his lips. “You need to rest
too.”

“It’s hard for me to see
her like this.” She paused, then added, “Even though I’m
a nurse, it hurts.”

Her eyes remained closed. He wanted to
place a kiss on each of them and then work his way down to her lips.
It would feel so good if he could just kiss her. “I know it
does.”

She nestled deeper into the bed. “I
love her.” She sighed. “I’ve missed seeing her.”

James pulled the blanket up around her,
efficiently tucking her in. She looked safe and warm. “She’s
missed you too.”

“I’m so tired.” She
burrowed down, taking advantage of his efforts. “You should be
sleeping. It’s too early to be up.”

He shook his head. “I can’t
sleep. If I thought sleeping was hard before you came, it’s
impossible now.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re two goddamn
feet down the hall from me.”

“It feels that close doesn’t
it?”

“Closer,” he grumbled.

“Will you stay? Just sit here
until I go back to sleep.”

Her simple request packed a punch. He
couldn’t have left her side even if he had wanted to. She had
been endlessly giving herself to the both of them. It was her turn to
need someone and he would remain with her for as long as she wanted.
It was the least he could do after all she had done for them. “Of
course, I’ll stay.”

He watched her as she drifted away into
the cloudy realm of sleep.

“I liked going to dinner with
you,” she said absently. “And your kisses . . . your lips
. . . I liked your lips against mine.” She took one long breath
and was fast asleep.

He sat and watched her until the clear
early morning light broke through the gray dawn. As those first rays
of sunshine filled the room he took her fingers in his. He did
nothing more but stare at them for the longest time.

* * * * *

As James sat at his desk in his home
office, he spoke softly into the phone, because Samantha and his mom
were still sleeping. “Shelly, I’m going to be working
from home today.” He shook his head. “No, don’t
cancel the meeting. I’ll just have it here.” He took a
sip of the steaming cup of coffee. “That’s with Jerry
Hancock, right?” Jerry was a specialist in the field of
corporate social responsibility. He’d hired the consulting firm
two months ago to help the company become more active in the
community.