Foodchain (5 page)

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Authors: Jeff Jacobson

Tags: #Fiction, #Mystery & Detective, #General

BOOK: Foodchain
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The guy snapped his fingers. “Five bucks, pal.”

Frank wasn’t happy, but he paid. The guy slid the money into his pocket and scratched a tiny slash mark in a notebook even greasier than his hair. He jerked his head.

Frank asked, “No program?”

The guy squinted at Frank for a moment, unsure if he was joking. He looked as if he sure as shit didn’t want any goddamn city cocksucker making fun of him, but he also didn’t want to offend anybody important. In the end, he just shrugged and stared off into the distance. Frank went on in.

It wasn’t much of a rodeo. The heat had thoroughly baked the energy out of every living creature. The calves wouldn’t run; they simply stood still, rooted in place, tongues hanging dry and purple in the searing sun. Barrel racers cantered and trotted instead of galloping. The announcer’s voice, crumbling apart in slivers of static, sounded half-asleep. Even the wild broncs bucked and kicked in a bored, listless fashion.

The small stadium stand rose fifty feet; twenty-five benches slanted up to the rippled aluminum roof. Twenty or thirty people, mostly older couples, were scattered across the wooden benches. Frank kept his face down and climbed the creaking stairs. When he hit the shade near the top, he sank onto a bench. The stands overlooked a dirt racetrack that encircled nearly five acres. The center was full of grazing fields, paddocks, and chutes that surrounded the center rodeo ring like a blocky spiderweb.

Frank lasted a half-hour before visiting the beer garden in the back, under the stands. He stood in the shadow on the north side of the stands and sipped his beer, listening to the knots of men that had gathered in the shade. The men talked weather, crops, sheep, cattle, fishing, hunting, and their boys, whether they were playing Pop Warner football, riding the bulls, or in the fights.

Frank got another beer, watching his cash slip away. He knew it was stupid to be wasting money, but it was goddamn hot. He kept his eyes open, but couldn’t see any money changing hands. Nobody seemed to really care what happened with the rodeo, one way or another. He decided he’d rest until nightfall, then get back out on the highway.

* * * * *

He ducked into the men’s room, under the stands, next to the concession booth, and for one particularly anxious moment, he almost wished he had his tire iron. But the place was empty. As Frank was taking a leak, the door opened and a little man came inside. He was short, but that wasn’t what Frank caught out of the corner of his eye. It was the long cattle coat the little man was wearing in the heat; he looked like a dark, oiled canvas traffic cone.

He stepped up to the opposite end of the trough confidently, like he meant business, marking his territory. He reminded Frank of a little dog. In vet school, Frank had encountered plenty of dogs. There’s three kinds of little dogs. There’s the kind of little dog that barks and yaps nonfuckingstop and nine times out ten that little shit will try and take a tiny bite out of you. Then there’s the kind of little dog that’s dead quiet, and flinches if you blink at it. And then, once in a while, there’s that little dog that only looks dead scared until you aren’t watching it closely. And there’s nothing tiny about the bites that dog will take.

The guy in the long coat was maybe in his late fifties, it was hard to say. He took off his cowboy hat with his right hand and slid his forearm across his forehead. He was bald. Actually, he went beyond bald. There wasn’t any hair on his head at all. No five o’clock shadow. No hair in his nose, his ears. His skull looked like a dry eyeball. A puckered scar ran from one ear to another, curving around the back of his head in a skeletal smile. Frank fought a sudden, irrational urge to draw a couple of rolling, insane eyes above the smile.

The man caught Frank looking at him.

Frank nodded hello, willing a small, manly grin to grow on his face, as his heart hammered wildly away inside the oversize suit.

The little man just stared at Frank. His eyes, startlingly naked under hairless eyebrows, were the color of frozen granite. He wore a revolver, some kind of cowboy six-shooter, in a holster on his right hip.

Frank zipped up and tried not to hurry as he washed his hands.

The little man stepped up to the sink next to Frank, staring at himself in the heavily graffitied reflective metal. His cowboy hat was back on. It had a flat brim, pulled low over his face. Frank splashed water on his face. Drying his hands on the inside of the jacket, Frank nodded at the little man again and headed out.

* * * * *

A high, wild laugh crackled over the loudspeakers. Frank peeled open one eye. Down in the ring, a rodeo clown, wearing a foot-high rainbow Afro and a pair of shredded overalls, leaned out of the announcer’s tall booth and shouted into the microphone. “It’s
that
time again, boys and girls, friends and neighbors. Grab your men, grab your women, grab your ass, grab whatever you can and hang
ooonnnnnnnn
. You folks are about to witness the biggest, the baddest, the meanest bulls that ever roamed this here land. They spit poison and shit fire! And that ain’t no bullshit! No sir! It’s fun for the whole family. You’re about to witness the most dangerous, mostly deadly sport right here in the U.S. of A! I give you…the bulls of Whitewood!”

Polite applause. The crowd had grown slightly, and semi-filled the bottom of the stands. Frank shook his head, rubbed his eyes, and sat up. He wasn’t going to make any money here. It was time to climb back in the long black car and hit the road.

Two more rodeo clowns jumped into the ring as the opening chords to the Scorpions’ “Rock You Like a Hurricane” reverberated into the stands. The clowns energetically threw themselves into a dance routine, all spread legs and thrusting hips. Frank figured they had to have been drinking heavily and that reminded him of the rum in the front seat. He stood, stretched, and headed down the stairs.

The original announcer came back on, still drowsy. “Thank you, uh…Mr. Spanky, for that…spirited introduction. But he’s right, you folks are in for a real treat here. These bulls are the real deal. Voted meanest bulls four years running in the North Valley Circuit. And first up is young Bartholomew Wilson, a sophomore at Whitewoods High School, trying for his second tournament championship this year.”

Frank was nearly at the gates when one of the closest clowns, wearing green mop strings over his head, shouted at another clown, “You ain’t got enough sense to pour sand out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the bottom. I got a twenty that says Wilson is gonna eat dirt in less than six seconds.”

“Then you’re as dumb as you look. You got it,” the second clown, wearing a red cape, shot back. Frank wasn’t sure, but he thought it was the same guy from the front gate.

Frank’s steps slowed and he changed direction, heading for the fence. The gate across the ring sprang open and two thousand pounds of pissed off bull muscles jumped and twirled across the soft dirt. The kid on the bull’s back, Wilson, hung as best as he could, but his fifteen year-old muscles were no match for the backbreaking spinning and popping, and he was flung off into the dust.

“Three seconds, motherfucker!” Green head shouted.

Red cape shrugged, pulled out a twenty from his costume, and flicked it into the dust in the ring. “It’s all yours, dickhead.”

Frank turned away from the gates and slowly ambled around the ring, past Green head, past the announcing booth, until he could see the loading gates. He took his time, peering at the wild bulls, noting their body stance, their breathing, their eyes. He surreptitiously pulled the remaining twenty from his pocket, folded it over, and kept it curled in his fist.

Several riders tried their luck. Nobody lasted more than five seconds. The clowns thrived on leaping into the ring, catching the bull’s attention, and outrunning the animal.

Finally, Frank found a bull he liked. He ambled slowly back and got two beers. He brought them both over to the ring and leaned against the fence next to Green head. “Howdy.” Frank nodded.

The clown nodded back, scratching at his scraggly beard. It had been spray painted orange. Frank suddenly noticed his second beer. He held it out. “Thirsty?”

“That’s goddamn white of you.” They clinked the bottles together through the bars and drank. “Who are you, some kind of junior G-man?” the clown asked, eyeing the black suit. He laughed, raised his hands above his head. “Don’t shoot!”

Frank forced a chuckle, let a few moments pass. “Say, I happened to overhear you laying a little money down on a few of these riders. Thought I’d see if you might be interested in any other wagers.”

“Could be, could be. What are you thinking?”

“I think this next rider’s gonna hang on for a solid eight seconds.”

“You think so, huh? Okay. Just how sure are ya?”

“Twenty bucks sure. For starters.”

The clown scratched at his beard, then his wig. “What’s the bull?”

“Uh…it’s called Chopper, I think.”

“Who’s the rider?”

“Kid named Garth Ennis.”

The clown nodded. “Could be close.” He watched the gate for a moment, as the Ennis kid settled on Chopper and the names crackled out of the loudspeakers. Finally, “Okay. You got it. Twenty bucks. Deal?”

“Deal.” They shook on it.

The gate burst open. Chopper spun and kicked and bucked, but his heart wasn’t in it. It looked like the bull was tired, tired of the heat, tired of the dust, and tired of jumping and twisting. Eight seconds later, when the buzzer sounded, Ennis was still on Chopper’s back.

“I’ll be damned. Be right back,” the clown said, dropping from the fence with the other clowns and scrambling at the bull. They got Ennis off safely and lured the bull back through the gate. Green head came back, wiping at his face. Sweat trickled down through his white makeup, leaving streaks of tan skin.

“Not bad. Not a bad call at all. How’d you know?” He pulled a twenty from his oversize shorts.

“Lucky.”

“Lucky, huh?” Green head leaned back and took second, closer look Frank, this time noticing the slack, dead left side of his face. He slapped the money into Frank’s palm through the fence. “Maybe so, but it don’t matter. You still won.”

“Appreciate it,” Frank said. He went back to the stands and treated himself to a beer. The place suddenly didn’t seem so bad after all. He gulped down that beer, ordered two more, and took them back out to the ring. He handed one to Green head.

“Name’s Pine Rockatanski,” the clown said.

“Frank Winter.” He bit his tongue as he realized, too goddamn late, he’d given his real name. He blamed it on the beer and the heat.

Pine chugged his beer and sprinted out into the ring with his ambling, bowlegged gait as another teenager got bounced into the dirt. Afterwards, he asked, “In town long?”

“Not really. Just passing through, you could say.”

“Well, if you’re gonna be around tonight, there’s gonna be some more gambling opportunities, case you’re interested.”

“Depends. Mostly, I just stick to the horses. What’s the game?”

Pine grinned and spit. “You’re gonna like it. Trust me. You a drinking man?”

Frank looked out over the ring, watching as the dust hung in the still air. “Sometimes. I like to drink a six-pack before it gets warm.”

Pine laughed. “Let’s roll.”

* * * * *

Frank met the rodeo clowns in the fairground parking lot at six.

A late-model diesel pickup roared through the empty parking lot. Just as that pickup slowed to a stop, a second pickup appeared, immediately followed by a third. They hit the entrance fast, rear tires sliding, and raced each other to Frank’s car. He’d finished the rum earlier and flung it at the fence.

The two pickups slid past the long black car in a storm of dust and flecks of asphalt. Frank walked over to first pickup and introduced himself.

“You the one that took twenty off Pine?” The guy behind the wheel came across as a cowboy in an old cigarette ad. Sure enough, a fresh cigarette jutted from underneath a handlebar mustache, bobbing at the side of his mouth as he talked. He was the guy that introduced the bull riders, the guy in the rainbow Afro.

“Yeah,” Frank said, almost apologetically.

“Good. Dumbshit deserved it. Anybody that couldn’t see old Chopper was damn near dead was too goddamn dumb to look.” He stuck out his hand. “Jack Troutman. Pleased to meet ya.”

Pine climbed out of the second pickup, yelling at the guy in the third. “Pay up motherfucker! That was all mine and you know it.” Without the clown getup, which made him looked sort of mischievous, now he looked like he was two steps short of a starting a cult. He still had the beard; most of the orange had been washed out, but instead of continuing up into his hair, it stopped dead in a thick tangle of sideburn at the top of the ear. The rest of Pine’s head was bald. The back part looked particularly shaved, as if the hair had gotten confused, and instead of growing on the back of the head, it was growing on his chin. Pine made the best of it, overcompensating, embracing it, as if growing a heavy beard was somehow superior to having a long tangle of hair, like Frank.

“I got a better idea,” the other guy yelled back. “Come on over and lick my ball sweat instead.” He was the guy that had taken the money off Frank out front, and had worn the red cape at the rodeo. His pickup was at least twenty-five years old and looked as if it was being slowly eaten alive from the bottom by a fungus-like rust.

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