Following Your Heart (2 page)
Read Following Your Heart Online
Authors: Jerry S. Eicher
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Eicher, Jerry S.
Following your heart / Jerry S. Eicher.
p. cm. â (Fields of home ; bk. 2)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4478-6 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4479-3 (eBook)
1. AmishâFiction. I. Title.
PS3605.I34F65 2012
813'.6âdc23
2011032582
All rights reserved
. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansâelectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherâexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 / LB-CD / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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Longing for a taste of Amish cooking?
HAPTER
O
NE
T
he early morning light streamed through the kitchen window, sending sunbeams bouncing across the plain white walls. Susan Hostetler closed her eyes as she listened to the sound of her
daett
's deep voice leading out in morning prayer. It was so
gut
to be home again, she decided, feeling the warmth of the stove on her back, noticing the soft touch of the hanging tablecloth on her arms, and taking in the delicious smell of
Mamm
's breakfast filling the room. Already Asbury Park seemed thousands of miles away, another world lost in the distant past. Yet it had only been a few days since she'd returned home, bringing Teresa and baby Samuel with her.
Beside her Teresa sniffled as she pulled a white handkerchief from the pocket in her new Amish cape dress. Her hand hit the side of her head covering and knocked it askew as she dabbed her eyes. Teresa wasn't quite used to Amish clothing, Susan thought. She smiled. Teresa had insisted on wearing the dress
Mamm
had made for her the moment she saw it.
Menno's deep voice was wrapping up the prayer. “And now, may the God of all peace comfort our hearts with His holy grace. And be with us this day, oh Lord. Lead us in the path of Your righteousness. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
Teresa stuffed the handkerchief back into her dress pocket. Susan gave her friend's arm a quick squeeze under the table while she reached with the other to pass the plate of eggs.
Susan's
mamm
, Anna, glanced at both girls. “I have things I need at the Dutch Barn this morning. Do you girls want to drive down for me? The weather isn't too bad, and it would give Teresa a chance to see more of the community.”
“I don't know why not,” Susan replied. “Teresa, do you want to go?”
“What about Samuel?” Teresa asked, glancing toward the upstairs doorway.
“I'll watch him,”
Mamm
offered, smiling. “You've fed him already, haven't you? And I already love the little fellow.”
A quick smile spread across Teresa's face as she nodded.
“Then he'll be okay for a few hours,”
Mamm
said.
“I don't know much about babies,” Teresa replied, her smile fading. “I'm so thankful you took me in. You don't know how much it means to me.”
“You're very welcome here,”
Mamm
said. “And you can stay as long as you wish.”
Susan's
daett
, who had been listening to the conversation, spoke up. “
Da Hah
gives His grace to all of us, does He not?” He helped himself to some eggs. “We are more than glad to help out.”
Susan thought Teresa was going to pull her handkerchief out again.
Teresa gathered herself together instead and, barely speaking loud enough for them to hear, said, “I have wanted this for so long. You have no idea how much I have wanted this. At first I was thinking only of my son, but now I want this life for me too. It's an answer to my prayers.”
“
Da Hah
is a very gracious God,” Menno said. “And you're welcome here, Teresa. Just remember, we are all human, even here in the community. But I suppose you'll be finding that out as time goes on.”
“That's for sure,”
Mamm
said. “And none of us should ever be forgetting we are not perfect.”
“But I think you are all wonderful,” Teresa protested. “I haven't seen anything but saintliness so far. You are such sweet people. I know I can never be a true Amish personâlike from birthâbut Samuel can. He is almost the same as being born Amish since Susan was right there with me the whole time.”
“As Menno said, you really shouldn't think too highly of us,”
Mamm
corrected gently. “Even if you feel very good about us right now. No doubt you will be seeing our faults before long.”
Teresa didn't look convinced, but she let the subject drop.
Menno frowned, deepening the weather-drawn lines on his face. Apparently he was not going to allow the matter to end here. “
Mamm
and I are very glad Susan is back with us, Teresa,” he said. “And that you could come with her. You must remember, though, that
Da Hah
wishes no one to consider themselves perfect. Our life here may be different from what you are used toâand hopefully better. But only
Da Hah
is perfect, and He is a very jealous God.”
“Yes,” Teresa said, raising her eyes to meet his face. “I'm going to try to live the way I ought. It's just that I've never been taught a lot of things about God like you people have been.”
Susan breathed a sigh of relief. Thankfully the discussion this morning at the breakfast table was going quite wellâbetter than she had dared hope. Teresa was joining in freely, and
Mamm
and
Daett
were being very gentle and kind with this touchy subject.
“There will be plenty of time to learn,”
Mamm
said, getting up from the table. “
Da Hah
makes sure of that.”
“I hope there is,” Teresa agreed. “But I have a very long way back from where I've been. And I want to say again that I'm sorry about the babyâ¦being I'm not married. Do you think God will forgive me?”
“
Da Hah
already has,”
Mamm
said, coming back with freshly baked bread that had been sliced.
“He has?” Teresa looked up at
Mamm
's face.
“One only has to look into that baby's face to see the hand of
Da Hah
already working,”
Mamm
said. “
Da Hah
makes the walk of obedience as easy as possible.”
“But Samuelâhe didn't sin. I did.”
“We have all sinned, Teresa,” Menno said. “As even my own Susan has. Just not in the same way. And
Da Hah
has forgiven her.”
“Daett!” Mamm
gasped. “You don't know what Susan has been doing while she was gone.”
“Perhaps not, but she was away,” Menno said. “That is serious enough. And the world calls to our weak flesh at every turn. Even Susan's.”
Teresa looked up and spoke slowly. “I hope you're not thinking bad thoughts of Susan because of me. I know I've made awful choices in my life, but Susan hasn't done anything like I have. She's a holy woman. She dated only Christian people, like Duane Moran. He was a nice man.”
Menno dropped his fork on the table. It bounced once before clanging on the floor. “Susan spent time with an
Englisha
man? She spoke to him of love?” he asked.
Oh no!
Susan thought.
Here it comes. Now what am I going to do? Oh, why did I ever confide to Teresa about Mr. Moran?
She had known it was only a matter of time before her
mamm
and
daett
started asking questions about her time spent with the
Englisha.
“Daett,” Mamm
said, reaching over to stroke his arm, “we knew Susan had to be doing some things like that.”
“But she is my
dochtah
,” Menno said.
Susan got to her feet and walked over to her father. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I'm home,
Daett
,” she said. “Can't you just leave it at that? And I haven't done anything wrong. Really.”
“But you spoke of love with an
Englisha
man?” Menno raised his eyes to Susan's face.
“No, I didn't. He was a very nice person,
Daett
,” Susan said. “I went out to eat with him in a restaurant. I did not agree to marry him. Okay?”
Menno thought for a long moment before he sighed. “I had hoped to never hear of such things happening to my youngest daughter.”
“You have lots of other daughters,
Daett
,” Susan said. “They've all turned out okay.”
Menno sighed again and then bent down to pick up his fork. “So what have we done wrong with you?” he asked. “What have we not taught you that we taught the others? How could one of my girls just up and leave so suddenly like you did?”
“But she's back!”
Mamm
said before Susan could answer. “So let's be thankful for that. Perhaps
Da Hah
will give us grace to continue from here.”
That was the answer they'd be the most satisfied with, Susan figured, taking her seat again.
“I'm sorry,” Teresa told Susan quietly. She pushed her food around with her fork.
“You helped me get back home!” Susan whispered back, leaning over to give Teresa a hug. “Let's not forget that.”
“
Da Hah
moves in mysterious ways,”
Mamm
said. “I'm glad to see how much you two girls love each other. It helps make my heart feel better about your time away from us, Susan. If
Da Hah
can bring about this love, then your time among the
Englisha
was not completely lost.”
Menno nodded in agreement. “
Da Hah
also forgave sinners while He walked on this earth. Perhaps I should not have spoken so harshly.”
