Following Me (37 page)

“WAIT…” DEVON SAID, actually paying
attention to her surroundings for once.  “This isn’t the way to Hadley’s.”

Reid tightened his grip on their
laced fingers.  “I thought we could use some privacy.”

“I thought we were going back
early for privacy,” she said, her voice coming out hysterical. 
This
couldn’t be good.

“Haven’t you exploited their
hospitality enough, Devon?  I think it’s a good idea for them to have the place
to themselves tonight.  I thought it would be a good surprise,” he said,
smiling.  He took a turn that led them farther away from the apartment.

She didn’t even have a pretense
to hide her fear.  Her heart was hammering, and her breath was coming out
heavy. 
Where was he taking her? 
She didn’t feel comfortable talking to
him in a place she thought of as home, so she certainly wouldn’t feel any
better somewhere else.

“Where are we going?” she asked
in a demanding tone.

“Don’t you like surprises,
Devon?” he asked as calm as ever.

She knew he could tell she was
afraid.  She hated that fear was taking her over because she was pretty sure he
reveled in it.  He liked to see her cower and back away.  He liked to have
control.  She was giving him what he wanted, and she couldn’t do anything to
keep herself in check.

A few minutes later, Reid pulled
up to the valet of a tall skyscraper, and the valet helped her out of the car. 
She then realized where they were.  She hadn’t thought that she could feel
sicker, but he had proven her wrong.

A hotel.  Really?  A hotel?
 
She couldn’t believe this was where he was taking her. 
Okay, yes, she
could.
  It made perfect sense.  She almost made a smart-aleck comment about
whether the place charged by the hour.  Luckily, she restrained herself.  She
didn’t even want to think about what happened in hotels by the hour.  That
might actually break her character.

The valet zoomed off with his
car, leaving Reid alone with Devon.

He smiled brightly at her.  “Nice
surprise, right?”  He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in
close.  “I missed you so much, Dev.”

Devon stepped out of his
embrace.  “I can’t go upstairs with you, Reid.”

“Why?” he asked, his eyes
hardening.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,”
she said, trying to remain strong.

Waiting for Reid’s reaction was
like turning the handle to a jack-in-the-box, knowing it was going to pop in
your face.

“You haven’t seen me in
two-and-a-half months. I get us a nice hotel room in the city, and I’m excited
to see you.  And you don’t want to go up with me?” he asked.  “What’s wrong
with you, Devon?  What’s changed since you left?”

Devon sighed and looked down at
the ground. 
What was wrong with her?
  Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. 
They had a lot of stuff to talk about, and it’s not like they could stand
outside the hotel all night.

“Are you seeing someone else?  Is
that what this is about?” he asked.

She heard the tension in his
voice, and she tried to remain perfectly calm.  If she reacted at all to her
thoughts of Brennan, it would be bad.  She couldn’t let Reid know.  She had to
keep that one thing from him.  She was safe as long as Brennan’s identity was
kept safe.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone,” she
said softly, staying as calm as possible.  “I just feel like we’re rushing.”

“We’ve been together for three
years.  How could we possibly rush this?” he asked, reaching out for her.

“You know what I mean,” she said
with a shrug.

“Just hear me out, Dev,” Reid
said softly.  He cupped her chin and lifted her face to his.  “I love you so
much.  I’ve missed you something fierce.  If you feel like I’m rushing you,
then I’m rushing you.  I want to talk.  I want to spend time with you.  It’s
been too long since I’ve gotten to be with you.  Just come upstairs with me.”

Devon bit her lip and stared up
into the face of the man that she had thought for years was her greatness, her
true love.  Something in his pleading seemed to weaken her resolve. 
Maybe
it would be different.
  If he loved her, maybe it would be different.

“Please come with me, Dev.  I’ve
been a mess without you.”  He planted a tender kiss on her lips.

“Alright,” she said softly,
breaking the kiss.  “We’ll go upstairs and talk.”

He smiled like he had won a
prize, and then he took her hand and walked her into the hotel.  They took the
elevator, and after they reached the floor and found their room, Reid slid the
room key into the slot.  Devon walked in before him and heard him push the lock
over to bar entrance.  She swallowed and looked around.  It was nice enough
with a small living area and a king-size bed.  She didn’t even bother looking
in the bathroom.  The last thing she wanted was to see another one of her
nightmares.

Devon decided to take a seat on
the chair in the living space.  It faced the door and away from the bed.  She
wanted a clear view of the exit, and she wanted to avoid the bed at all costs. 
That was the way she wanted to handle this, focusing on a clear escape route.

“Okay…” Reid walked up behind her
and began to massage her shoulders.

When he touched her, she tensed
up, and he just rubbed harder.  She was so on edge.  She didn’t know what was
going to happen.

“You said you wanted to talk, so
let’s talk.”

“Um…alright,” she began.

“Let’s talk about how you lied to
me.  Or we could talk about how you ran away to Chicago.  How about we talk
about how you’ve been acting all night or how scared you looked when I found
out that you were lying?  Maybe we should just talk about the bartender,” he
said, his voice thick with venom.

Devon felt like she had stopped
breathing. 
Not Brennan.
  They couldn’t talk about Brennan.

“Ah, so it is the bartender
then,” he said like he had stumbled upon something.

“Reid,” she gasped out, trying to
find air.

“You said you wanted to talk.  I
think we can talk about him first.  Did you fuck him?”

He pushed into the muscles of her
shoulders so hard that she tried to jump away from him, but he held her tightly
in place.

“Reid, that’s not why I’m here,”
she cried.  “Stop!  You’re hurting me!”

He only held her more firmly. 
“Sometimes, I don’t think you listen to me unless I force you, Devon.”

“I’m listening!” she spat in
frustration, trying to wrench herself away from his grasp.

“I don’t think you are because
you haven’t answered my question yet.  Did you fuck him?  It’s a yes or no
question, Devon.”

She swallowed.  She couldn’t talk
about Brennan. 
How did Reid know?
  She had done
everything
she
could to keep Reid from finding out, yet he had still figured it all out.  She
wanted to break down and cry, but Reid didn’t deserve her tears.

“No answer, Devon?  You lost your
voice somewhere?  I’ll just assume that means yes.”  He let go of her shoulders
and walked around to the front of the chair.

She tried to stand, but he pushed
her back down to a sitting position.

“You were here acting like a
whore while I was in St. Louis missing you.  Doesn’t really seem fair to me, does
it?”

He was acting completely insane. 
She needed to get out of there.  This was going nowhere fast. 
How had she
let him manipulate her so perfectly?
  He had preyed upon her weakness and
her desire to make him happy.  Even when she was desperate to get rid of him,
it was hard to break old habits.  For so long, the thought of being without
Reid put her in an agonizing state of self-doubt and fear, but now, she
realized she had only projected what it actually was like when she was with
Reid on to what she assumed it would be like without him.  Living without Reid
had led her to Brennan, and when she was with him, she had neither self-doubt
nor fear.

“You wanted to talk, but I’m
doing all the talking,” he said.  “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

He grabbed her arms and hoisted
her out of the chair he had just thrown her into.  His hands circled her bicep
and squeezed, pulling her face-to-face with him.  The pressure on her arms was
agonizing.

“You want to know why I left?”
she asked.  “This is why I left.  I was tired of you hurting me.”

“If you didn’t hurt me so badly,
I wouldn’t have to do anything.  Why do you want to hurt me, Devon?” he asked. 
He shook her forcefully.  “Explain it to me.  Why would you leave me, lie to
me, cheat on me?” he yelled.

A tear ran down her cheek, and
there was nothing she could do about it.  “Reid, please,” she said, blinking
back tears.  “Don’t hurt me.”

“I shouldn’t hurt you?” he asked
in disbelief.  He slammed her back into the wall.  “I shouldn’t hurt you?  After
what you did to me, you think I should just let you go?  You think I should let
someone else get his grubby hands on you?  You’re mine, Devon!” he yelled into
her face.  “You’re
mine
!”

Reid threw her on the ground, and
her head collided with the corner of the side table.  She saw spots through her
vision while she heard ringing in her ears.  She was sure Reid was saying
something, but she wasn’t sure what it was.  Her breath came out in gasps as
tears poured down her face, and then the shock of the fall hit her.  She
tentatively reached her hand to the back of her head and felt the lump that was
already forming.  It was too tender to even touch lightly with her fingertips.

“Do you hear me?” Reid cried,
bending over and forcing her to look at him.

“What?” Devon whispered, her
voice light and wispy.  She didn’t feel too well.

“You’re not even listening to
me,” he cried, looking maniacal.  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.  How
can I make myself any clearer to you?”

“I don’t know,” she said, trying
unsuccessfully to stand.

She felt silly sitting on the
floor with him towering over her, screaming at her, but she needed to let the
stars clear first.  She had seen stars before.  Sometimes, she had blacked out
from them.  She couldn’t black out right now.  She needed to keep her mind
active. 
No sleeping.

Think about something else. 
Think about Brennan.
 What would he do if he were here? 
He was a
doctor’s son.  He would take care of her, hold her while she cried, and kiss
her wounds.  He wouldn’t do anything to harm her.  He would wipe her tears away
and tell her he never wanted to see her cry again.  He thought she was
beautiful.  That made her smile.

“Oh, you have something to smile
about?” Reid yelled, breaking through her reverie.  “Do share what is so funny.”

“Nothing,” she said, trying to
stand again.

Reid grabbed her wrist and yanked
roughly until she was on her feet.  Her shoulder wrenched, and she was sure he
was going to pull it out of its socket.  By the time he had lifted her all the
way to her feet, her shoulder was screaming at her.  She steadied herself on
the wall to keep from falling back over.  The stars were clearing a bit, but
she still felt slow and hazy all over.  Her mind needed to start clearing. 
Reid was going over the edge, and she couldn’t afford to be out of it.

“That’s right.  You are nothing
without me.  Just look at you,” he said, gesturing to her.  “You’re a wreck.”

“I’m a wreck because of you,”
Devon mumbled.

Reid laughed at her.  “You think
I made you a whore?  I don’t even know why I want to be with you, except that I
love you.  I will eventually forgive you for the things you have done wrong.”

“You’ll forgive
me
?” she
asked in disbelief. 
Really?  Was he going to try and blame her for
everything?

“That’s just the kind of guy I
am,” he said a bit too calmly.

Devon closed and opened her eyes,
feeling the haze slowly lift.  It was too slow, much too slow.  She hadn’t had
that much to drink so that she could stay alert, and now, with one tumble, she
was losing it.  She tried keeping her eyes closed longer to see if that would
help, but when she opened them again, Reid was standing right in front of her.