Follow You Down (13 page)

His mouth disconnects from my core, and I sigh, defeated, until I feel him begin to crawl up my body.

“You on birth control, Red?”

“Yes.”

“I’m clean. I want to fuck you raw.” He pauses and places his mouth over mine. “I
need
to fuck you raw.”

“Yes, sir.” I’ve never had sex without a condom, but I trust Lucas, and I know I’m clean.

In one swift movement, he dives inside me with nothing between us. I feel every inch, every ridge of his hard length massage the deepest parts of me.

It’s intoxicating.

We quickly form a rhythm, moving against each other. I can feel my orgasm building again inside me. It feels like every bit of blood in my body is rushing to my pussy, causing my muscles to contract around him.

Without warning, he removes the blindfold.

It takes a moment for my eyes to focus, and when they finally do, I am staring straight into Lucas’ beautiful pools of blue.

He drops his forehead to mine, placing one hand under my ass and the other behind my head, pulling at my hair, causing my neck to arch. “You fucking own me, Red.”

Those five words contain so much passion and pain. He sounds relieved to admit it, but saddened that it’s true all at the same time. I say the only thing I can think of, “I’m yours, Lucas.”

He buries his head in my neck and fucks me harder and deeper until we both come screaming out each other’s names.

He stays in me for a few minutes. I can feel his pleasure leaking out of me and it turns me on more than I could have ever imagined.

After a few moments, he slips out of me and walks toward the bathroom. He reappears with a wet washcloth and cleans me off. There is something so intimate about watching him take care of me like this. I feel my heart beat a little faster at the sight of it.

He unties my feet, then my wrists. When he sees the red marks beginning to form from me pulling at them, he kisses each one and rubs them slightly.

“Is it fucked up that these red marks turn me on?” He looks concerned.

“Not at all. They don’t hurt and they turn me on, too.”

He lays down beside me and lifts me up so that I’m lying down with my face on his chest. He pulls my ponytail out and begins to run his fingers through my hair.

I can feel the awkward tension setting it. Do we just ignore the confessions we both made. Chalk it up to the heat of the moment? I want to talk about it, but then I don’t. What if he didn’t really mean it? Did I really mean it? He runs his fingers down my back before resting his hand at the curve of my ass. I can feel his heart beating and can smell the sex on his skin. I realize I did mean what I said. I am his, but what does that even mean.

“What do we do now?” His voice sounds pained, and when I look at his face, he is staring up at the ceiling. He’s been thinking the same thing I have.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I like you, Red, but, well, I don’t do relationships. You know this. We talked about this. It wasn’t supposed to get complicated like this.”

You ever feel like someone just dropped an anvil on your chest? That feeling where you can’t take a full breath and your heart literally aches from the pain. That’s exactly how I feel right now. He’s right, but it hurts too fuckin bad to hear him say it. I don’t really know what I expected. We were never supposed to have some serious romantic relationship and ride off into the sunset together. We were supposed to fuck. That was it, but somewhere along the road the lines got blurry. I guess we both got confused as to where fucking ends and feelings begin.

“You’re right. We aren’t relationship people, right?”

“Right.” He doesn’t sound sure of his answer. I begin to roll away from him, but he pulls me in close.

“Can we break the no cuddling rule for one night? I’m really comfortable.”

I laugh, “Sure.”

I fall asleep in Lucas’ arms, wondering how we go back to the way it was before when we don’t even know how we ended up here in the first place.

Lucas gets up early the next morning for work like he always does, but instead of staying in bed like I usually do, I decide to get ready and go for a run. I need to clear my head.

Neither of us act like anything happened last night. We laugh like usual and I make him coffee to go. We walk downstairs together, but I let him walk out first.

“I’m gonna stretch out in here.” We’re standing in the lobby of my apartment building. Truthfully, I can’t watch him drive away. It feels ominous. Like once he leaves here, he won’t come back, and I’m just not ready to deal with that yet.

“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll call you later.” Usually he kisses me goodbye, but today he doesn’t even try. He just says bye, waves, and walks out the door.

For a minute, I think about breaking down. How did we go from having the most mind-blowing sexual experience of my life to awkwardly telling each other goodbye? Fucking feelings, they ruin everything.

I walk out the door and see Jason’s truck pull up and Jasmine jump out.

“Damn it, Jason, I’m not a fucking child! You can’t keep treating me like one.” Jasmine is wearing, what I assume, are last night’s clothes, a short, backless black dress and neon pink heels, and she looks furious.

She slams the door to Jason’s truck and begins to walk away, but he rolls the window down. “I only treat you like a child because you act one, Jazzy!”

At the sound of her nickname, her eyes fill will rage and her nostrils flair.

“My fucking name is Jasmine! Not Jaz, not Jazzy, Jasmine! And at some point in time you have to let me grow up, Jason.”

He scoffs at her, “Well,
Jasmine
,” his tone is laced with sarcasm, “when you can prove that you can act like an adult, I will let you. Until then, it’s my job to make sure you don’t fuck up your life.”

“No, it’s not. That’s my job! And I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that.”

“Yeah, that’s why I had to drag you out of a club at midnight, shit faced, about to go home with some random fucker, cause you’re doing a good job!”

“He’s my boyfriend, well, was until you pulled that stupid shit last night. Now he won’t even talk to me!”

“He was a fucking tool, Jazzy. He’s not good enough for you.”

Jasmine stomps her foot. “Jason, go fuck yourself.” With that she storms past me into the building.

I’m still standing there, shocked, just staring at Jason.

He shakes his head and looks at me with pleading eyes. “Dani, will you go check on her. She’s a bit irrational right now.”

I want to tell him that she’s twenty-two years old. She’s allowed to get drunk and go home with her boyfriend, but I don’t say that. It’s not my fucking business, and right now, I have enough of my own problems to deal with. So instead, I nod and head toward the door as he peels out of the parking lot.

I ride the elevator to the third floor where mine and Jasmine’s apartments are, not really knowing what to expect.

Her door isn’t even closed all the way and I can hear stomping around.

I knock softly. “Jasmine?” I push open the door and walk in. Her apartment is adorable, but all girl. The walls are bright blue and her sofa is stark white with bright pink accent pillows.

“Dani?” She steps out of her kitchen, removing her heels.

“I’m sorry you saw that. Jason can just be an overprotective dickhead sometimes.”

“What happened?” I kind of already got the gist, but I ask anyway; she looks like she needs to vent.

“Well, I went out last night with my boyfriend, well, now he’s my ex-boyfriend, and ended up seeing Jason and Todd. I wasn’t even that drunk! But when I saw Jason, I told my boyfriend we should leave. I didn’t want Jason to see us and start shit, ‘cause that’s what he always does.” She begins to walk toward her bedroom and I follow her. “Anyway, he saw us leaving and stopped us. He told me that I wasn’t going home with some stranger. I told him that he wasn’t a stranger, but my boyfriend and that made him even madder. He told my boyfriend that if he ever talked to me again he would kick his ass and find out where he worked so he could get him fired. Instead of fighting for me, the dickhead ran off and just left me there with Jason who basically dragged me back to his apartment and made me stay there last night. He treats me like I’m a fucking child!”

I feel sorry for her. Jasmine seems like a smart, sweet girl, but there must be a reason Jason is so protective over her. I want to ask why, but I don’t. Like I said, not my business.

She finally takes a good look at me and stares at my running shoes.

“Were you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I was gonna go for a run. That’s where I was headed when y’all pulled up.”

“Are you a talker when you run?”

I show her the headphones in my hand and shake my head.

“Good. I’m coming with you. Just let me change.”

I don’t even try to argue, and step out of the room to let her change.

A few minutes later, she walks into her living room wearing bright pink running shorts and a black sports bra. She’s gorgeous, so I guess I can understand why her brother would be so protective over her. If I had a little sister, I wouldn’t want to see her get hurt either.

“You ready?”

She grabs two bottles of water from her fridge and a pair of headphones out of a basket on the table by her front door. “Yep.”

We run three miles in step with each other, but in total silence. Only stopping a few times to stretch and drink water.

Afterwards, we go back to my apartment and watch Grey’s Anatomy reruns until I have to get ready for work, neither of us talking about anything more superficial than if McSteamy or McDreamy is hotter.

I can tell this is going to be a great friendship.

“Well, well, well, look who’s early for once!”

The last thing I need this morning is Chris’ bullshit. I’m still reeling from what happened last night with Dani. The sex was amazing. I feel like it took us to a level I have never been to with anyone. She may have let me dominate her physically, but that girl has been dominating my heart since the first time she called me sir, and now it is catching up to me. I don’t do relationships. I don’t settle down, and I should have been smart enough to not do Dani Hartley. She doesn’t deserve to get hurt by a guy like me.

“You act like I’m usually late or something. Just showed up a few minutes early. Not a big deal, boss man.” Maybe if I play it off, he will never know that something’s going on with me.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Well, I tried.

“Nothing, man, just a long night, ya know?”

“No, I don’t know. The last long night I had was when the kid got the stomach virus a few months ago. So no, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

I shake my head at him. “I just had a rough one. That’s it.”

I grab the coffee I’ve just fixed and plop down in an empty chair. The truck drivers haven’t even arrived yet, so right now I don’t have shit to do.

“Spill, Wade. I know you’re bullshitting me.”

I think Chris tries to be like a father figure to me. He knows I didn’t have a dad, so he wants to fill that void. What I could never get him to understand is there is no void to fill. You can’t miss something you never had, and I never had a dad, well, not the kind anyone would want at least.

I take my hat off and rub my head a few times; finally deciding that if anyone is going to give me advice when it comes to Dani, it should be Chris. He’s been married for over ten years to his high school sweetheart, and even though they have had their fair share of problems, they always stick it out.

“So I’ve been seeing this girl for a while. Ya know me, nothing serious, but last night it got to a point where we both realized we were letting it get serious. I’m just not ready for that, man. I’m not near ready to settle down yet. I’m too young for that shit.”

Chris runs his hand over his beard a few times, pondering what to say. “Well, Wade, I’ll tell ya this. I know from firsthand experience that when you find someone you really want to be with, you won’t always be ready. Hell, I wasn’t when I met my old lady. After we graduated high school, I broke up with her for a while, ‘cause I was too young. I wasn’t ready. Then, I heard she was engaged to someone else.”