Authors: Christianna Brand
âNobody says I have, Tilda,' said Thomas, crossly. âExcept you.'
âI only say that the police â¦'
âNever mind, never mind,' said Cockie. âJust keep quiet and let me get this straight. Now, Matildaâthis man, Vernet, rang you from the Ritz yesterday morning and arranged to come to dinner at half-past sevenâright? He was late, he arrived about a quarter to eight. Melissa was out for the afternoon and evening; Rosie had gone out just before he arrived; Thomas went off directly after, without seeing him; Mrs. Evans was upstairs in her room, ditto the baby; so you were to all intents and purposes alone with him. You had dinner and, at a quarter past nine, you went upstairs to do the baby, etcetera, leaving him in the drawing-room. Two minutes later, he was ringing up Dr. Edwards' house saying that he had been attacked with a mastoid mallet, whatever that may be. Rosie was there and she took the message. She and Dr. Edwards rushed round as fast as the fog would let them, and got here at about twenty-five to ten, just as you were coming downstairs again. Vernet was lying dead in the hall, with his head caved in and Dr. Edwards says he had only been dead a few minutes; the telephone receiver was still in his hand, and the wire had been yanked right out, as though by the fall. At this time, Melissa had been in quite a while, but downstairs in her flat, and Thomas was driving about in the fog, trying to find a patient's address. He got in ten minutes later. Is that all correct?'
âYes, it is, Cockie; so there you are, how could Thomas possibly â¦?'
âAll right, Matilda, don't go
on
about it,' said Thomas.
It was a comfortable room; a rather shabby, very untidy, unselfconscious, comfortable room, with ugly, fat, comfortable old armchairs regrettably out of keeping with its high, moulded Regency ceiling; with Thomas's all-important desk poked away into an unconsidered corner, Thomas's appointment pads and books and a litter of pencils and scraps of paper on the wide marble mantelpiece; the screen behind which he must modestly conceal his female patients in their process of disrobing before they appeared stark naked before his professional eye, was now folded away against the wall (in fact he saw the vast majority of his patients in their outside surgery in St. John's Wood); and on the examination couch, Rosie was curled up in one of her lovely, curving poses, with Annaran, the Siamese cat, stretched out ecstatically on her lap, having his velvet stomach rubbed up the wrong way. âNow, Rosieâstop messing about with that cat and listen to me: this telephone call you tookââ?'
âWell, Tedward was getting out the car, Cockie, and I simply took it, in case it was a patient or something, just like I would here.'
âYes, all right. What time did you arrive there?'
âIt was nine o'clock,' said Tedward, âor very nearly. I know because I was watching the timeâI expected her about eight.'
âBut you left here at half-past seven, Rosie,' said Tilda.
âYes, I know, but the fog was simply
frantic,
' said Rosie, walking pink-tipped fingers up and down Annaran's arched back.
âYou made her some tea and then went out to get your car?'
Tedward sat forward in his chair, his hands between his knees; his trousers were extended, tight and wrinkled across his heavy thighs. âYes. I didn't like the look of her, I thought she looked white and tired and I wanted to get her home.'
âBut she'd only just arrived.'
Couldn't the silly old fool realize that Rosie had struggled for more than an hour through the fog, baby and all? âI thought she was over-tired,' repeated Tedward, crossly.
âAll right, all right. Well, thenâhow long getting out your car?'
Tedward shrugged. âI wouldn't know exactly. Three or four minutes Rosie? It was a hell of a job because the fog by the canal was as thick as cotton wool, and my garage is tricky, anyway. Does it matter?'
âI wanted to try and time the telephone call. Matilda left Raoul Vernet at exactly a quarter past nine.'
âWell, the 'phone rang almost directly after Tedward went to get the car.'
âNow tell me again exactly what was said.'
Rosie was busy making herself a Mandarin moustache with the end of Annaran's dark tail, but she desisted long enough to recite in a parrot gabble the gist of the telephone message, which she was by now heartily sick of repeating. âHe definitely said, Rosie, “A
man
came in and hit me with a mastoid mallet”?'
âOh, I don't know about “a
man
”, said Rosie, tucking Annaran's tail back around him. âMr. Charlesworth keeps asking me, too. Either “a man” or “someone” or something like that. But he did say about the mastoid mallet.'
âYou're sure of that at least?'
âWell, yes, of course; because otherwise how could I have known about the mastoid mallet?'
âThere was a mastoid mallet thrown down beside him in the hall,' said Thomas. âIt had obviously been used on him. It was mine.'
âYes, I want to come to that now. You kept this mastoid mallet in the hall?'
It sounded very peculiar, it sounded as though one kept mastoid mallets tidied away in a corner with croquet and other mallets of that
ilk
, as Thomas would have said to annoy Matilda, who went nearly mad when people misused words. âYes. At least I think it would be there, though some of the stuff's in the old chest of drawers on the landing upstairs. My old Uncle Huw left me his instrumentsâDoctor Evans Pink Medicine, he used to be called back home in Wales, to distinguish him from Doctor Evans Little Pills. The ones I had no use for I stowed away upstairs, or in the drawer of that bureau in the hall where the telephone stands.'
âAnd this mastoid mallet's missing from either upstairs or downstairs, wherever it was?'
âIt's not exactly missing,' said Thomas. âThe police have got it, duly covered with blood and hairs and what not. But there's no mallet now in either of the drawers, and anyway, it's mine all right. I know the look of it.'
âWhat
is
the look of it?' said Cockrill. âI mean what arc these things like?'
âWell, they're just miniature mallets, like little steel croquet mallets or like those things you knock pegs in with; only the handle's much shorter by comparison. The business end's about as big as ⦠As big as â¦' He looked about him for a comparison. âWell, as big as an ordinary tumbler, if a tumbler was a lot smaller than it usually is; or as big as a tin of baked beans, though why baked beans, I don't know.'
âVery handy for killing a man with?' suggested Cockie.
âSo a good many ear, nose and throat surgeons have discovered,' said Thomas, dryly.
âWhat precisely is the thing used for in the ordinary way?'
Thomas put two fingers behind his ear. âChipping away diseased bone in the mastoid region, here. You hold a sort of chisel in your left hand, and hammer away at it with the mallet.'
âIt would be pretty heavy?'
âHeavy-ish,' said Thomas. âBut well-balanced.'
âAs far as killing this man was concernedâanyone could have used the thing? A woman could have used it?'
âMan, woman or child,' agreed Thomas, readily. âJust the job.'
âHow long have you had it? Who knew it was here?'
âWe all knew,' said Matilda. âWe all helped to sort out Uncle Huw's legacy. Tedward, you were here that day, and one of Rosie's boy friends was here tooâwould it be Damien Jones?'
âYes', said Rosie. âIt was just before I went to Switzerland.'
âWell, all right. Now, Matildaâit looks as if this man was attacked almost directly you left him and went upstairs?'
Matilda, who thought in pictures, saw Raoul sitting as she had left him, bald head thrown back against the coral-coloured cushion in the big, pale green armchair, long legs crossed, the pointed toe of a too-ornate brown shoe, gently swinging. âI'm terribly sorry, Raoul, but I must just go upstairs and fix up the old lady for the night and pot the baby; and then we can settle down and really talk.â¦' âMais, ma chère,' he had said, âone hour and a half already I have been here and so far not one word of what I wish to say. Le cocktail, la cuisine, le caféâet maintenant les vielles, les enfants.â¦' She had sworn that she would not be long, at least not
very
longâuneasily conscious that what she had to do must take her at least twenty minutes. âAnyway, it's your fault, Raoul, for refusing to discuss things at dinner.' He had replied with ill-concealed impatience that what he had to say was extremely distasteful, that Mathilde would not like it any better than he did, and he preferred to dine before he was thrown out of the house, âAlors, Mathildeâallez, allez, depèchez-vous, s'il vous plait. In one minute your husband will return and then â¦' He gave the sort of shrug with which the British caricature all Frenchmen on every stage. âIt will be I, ma chère, who depèchc myself!'
âYou mean to say, Matilda, that you never did discuss whatever it was that he had come to say?'
âMy dear, nothing would induce him to disturb his digestion with a painful discussion, that was the truth of it; and I just
had
to do my chores at a quarter past nineâand then, after that, well, he was dead.'
âHow long were you away from him?'
âI've worked it all out about a million times for Mr. Charlesworth,' said Matilda, âso I can tell you exactly. At a quarter past, I went to Granny's room and unhooked her wig for her, didn't I, Gran?âand undid the back of her dress, and then I went to my own room and tidied myself up for about five minutes, and then by that time she was undressed and I helped her into bed and gave her her Horlicks. And then I went into the nursery, and I know it was half-past nine then, because I always do Emma at half-past nine, though I'll spare you my well-known speech about the importance of regularity in bringing up children. So if I was five or six minutes with Emma, it must have been twenty-five to, or a bit later, when I came downstairs and saw Rosie and Tedward coming into the hall.'
âAnd that fits,' said Rosie, âbecause if she left him at a quarter past nine and the 'phone call was just after that, then Tedward and I took about fifteen minutes in the fog, and we arrived between twenty-five to and twenty to ten. We've been over and over and over it all with Charlesworth.'
âYou mean to say, Matilda, that you left your guest all alone for a whole twenty minutes?'
âWell, I couldn't help it, Cockie. These things had to be done.' She added that it was like being a farmer, if they knew what she meant; animals had to be fed and milked and things, and other things just couldn't be more important. âThanks very much; what docs that make
me?
' said old Mrs. Evans, laughing.
âYou didn't think of running down, half-way through, and reassuring him?'
âWell, time passes so quickly when you're busy and in a hurry. I did call over the banisters once, but he didn't answer so I thought he hadn't heard.' She put her hand to her mouth in a gesture of dismay. âOh, heavens! You don't think â¦?'
âHe didn't answer because he was lying there dead.'
âOh,
Cock
ie!'
âYou couldn't see down into the hall?'
âNo, you can't from the landing; not unless you go down the stairs a little way.'
âAnd you didn't hear anything, Matilda?'
âNo, Cockie, absolutely nothing. At the time of the 'phone call, I'd have been in my room doing my face, and you couldn't hear anything from there, even quite a row. We've tested it. And Gran says she heard nothing.'
âI daresay I'm getting a bit deaf,' said old Mrs. Evansâa most rare confession of weakness.
âNot even the ting of the 'phone when the receiver was put back?'
âYes, but it wasn't put back,' said Tedward. âHe fell with the receiver still in his hand,
didn't
he? In fact, Rosie heard him fall.'
âYes, his voice got fainter and fainter and then there was a sort of bonk.'
âRosie heard the bonk over the telephone half a mile away, but you two good ladies, in your rooms one floor aboveâyou heard nothing?'
Mrs. Evans gave a loud, suspicious sniff. âDo I smell burning?'
âNo, darling, you don't,' said Matilda. Granny's diversions had now and again come in handy with Mr. Charlesworth, but Cockie was âon their side'; at least she hoped he was.
Melissa sat staring down at her hands and in all her life she had never been so much afraid. Now he's coming to me. Now he'll start asking me! Her head swam, her mind was a blank. What had she said to Inspector Charlesworth, what lies had she told that must be adhered to now? And if she contradicted herself, would this dreadful little fierce old man compare notes with the othersâand find out the whole appalling truth? She bent her head still lower over the clenched hands so that her hair hung like a curtain over her face. She had said that.⦠She had said that she had been with Stanislas. And that had been all right because she could honestly say that she didn't know his name or where he lived or anything about him, as Rosie could testify; as to the telephone number, it had been too well-remembered to need writing down in the little book with the dearth of abortionists and one must just deny that one had ever known it. Mr. Charlesworth had said that no doubt the police would have very little difficulty in tracing him, and one could only hope and pray that that was not true. It had occurred to her to get in touch with Stanislas and beg him to keep silent; but all things considered.⦠No; she would not do that. And when he saw in the papers that she was mixed up in murder, he, who had to be so âcareful', would almost certainly stay away, slip away out of the whole thing, and for ever.
So she trotted out her story once again. She had met her Friend and they had started off to a cinema, had lost their way in the fog and just beenâwell, just walking about. And she had got back about half-past nine (or had she said to Inspector Charlesworth that it was a quarter to ten? It was so important, so ghastly-ly important and now she had gone and forgotten â¦), and had been in her flat, and heard nothing until there was a commotion in the hall, people talking and things, and she had gone up and found them all leaning over the body; they must have turned him over on his back by then because his two pointed toes were sticking up into the air.â¦