Flying the Coop (28 page)

‘Okay,' said Chris agreeably, pouring hot water over a teabag. ‘But Jenny and Lauren aren't in. They took our car this afternoon to go and do some shopping.'

‘Mum!
Mum
!' yelled Michael from the second floor. ‘What's for dinner?'

‘Come down
here
if you want to ask me something!' Chris yelled back.

‘They just got back,' said Zoe single-mindedly. ‘I saw them from my window.'

This assertion was confirmed by the opening and closing of the front door. A few seconds later, Jenny staggered into the kitchen and dumped a load of shopping bags by the table. She was followed by Lauren, who was carrying a cardboard box with two neat stacks of Chinese take-away containers and a paper bag of prawn crackers on top. An assortment of delicious aromas accompanied them.

‘We bring food!' announced Jenny grandly, as she took a few of the containers from her overloaded daughter and set them down on the table.

‘Good timing.' Chris abandoned her half-made tea and instead started gathering together cutlery, chopsticks and plates. ‘Zoe's just called a conference so let's have it while we eat. We'll use the dining-room.'

‘Excellent! Because we've got something to show you as well.'

Chris looked at her friend questioningly, but Jenny simply gave her an enigmatic smile and, with Lauren, took the containers through to the dining-room table. Lauren returned quickly and started putting the groceries away. Chris passed Zoe some placemats.

‘Here, put these under the food and around the table.'

‘Is that dinner?' Michael, clad in Spiderman pyjamas and bright red socks, came leaping down the stairs, sniffing appreciatively.

‘Sure is. Chinese.' Chris passed the cutlery and chopsticks to her son. ‘Take these through and you can sit down. Oh, have you washed your hands?'

‘Sure!'

Chris filled a water jug from the tap and passed it to Lauren, who had just finished putting away groceries. ‘Could you take this through to the table, please?'

‘No problem.'

Next Chris grabbed a stack of tumblers and then regarded the kitchen thoughtfully. ‘And that should be everything. Let's eat!'

This pronouncement had obviously been anticipated because, as Chris and Lauren made themselves comfortable, everyone else was already passing containers around. Chris quickly joined in, helping herself to some obligatory fried rice as well as a serving of satay chicken and another of beef in black-bean sauce. After each of the containers had completed a circuit of the table, they were placed in the centre and silence fell, broken only by the chinking of cutlery and the occasional groan of pleasure.

‘This is delicious, Jen. Thanks a lot.' Chris smiled appreciatively as she started in on her second helping of satay. ‘What do I owe you?'

‘Absolutely nothing.' Jenny shook her head. ‘My treat. And what's more, Lauren and I are making dinner tomorrow night. Our speciality.'

‘Let me guess –' Zoe glanced at Lauren – ‘a barbie?'

‘That reminds me.' Chris turned to her two children. ‘Don't forget Dad's picking you two up tomorrow afternoon. You need overnight bags ready to go.'

‘What a shame.' Lauren helped herself to some more fried rice. ‘You won't get our special meal. We'll miss you.'

Zoe stared narrowly at the other girl, obviously trying to work out whether she was being sarcastic, but Lauren just smiled sweetly back. Chris grinned to herself.

‘How come we're staying overnight?' asked Michael plaintively.

‘Because your father doesn't get to see as much of you now that we're out here. So it's easier.' Chris nodded as she spoke. ‘For
all
of us.'

‘What's this conference about?' asked Jenny, pouring some honey syrup over chunks of battered chicken.

‘Ideas,' replied Chris.

‘That's right.' Zoe pulled a small spiral-bound pad and a biro out of her pocket and placed them next to her plate. ‘We need to come up with more plans for making this work. The flyers and stuff obviously aren't enough.'

‘What about a market stall?' Lauren suggested. ‘Like at one of those craft markets.'

‘That's not a bad idea,' said Zoe reluctantly, writing it down on her pad.

‘And you mightn't have to do it long-term.' Jenny looked pensive. ‘You could hand out flyers with the cartons letting people know that it's, say, fifty cents cheaper to buy direct from here.'

‘What about getting a dog?' proposed Michael brightly.

‘How's that going to help, idiot?'

‘Don't call your brother an idiot.' Chris turned from Zoe to Michael. ‘But she has a point. How's a dog going to help?'

‘He c'n pull a wagon with eggs in it for us.' Michael glared at his sister. ‘And we c'n take him down to Healesville and sell eggs along the street.'

‘Ah . . . perhaps not.'

‘Besides, the last thing you need is a dog,' Jenny grimaced. ‘Have you seen all the dog sh – poo on your front lawn? And that's
without
you owning a dog!'

‘I know.' Chris shook her head in bewilderment. ‘Where on earth is it coming from?'

‘I'm guessing a rectum,' replied Zoe. ‘Probably a
canine
rectum.'

‘Thank you,' said Chris derisively.

‘Yoo hoo!'

All heads turned towards the archway, through which Dot entered, dressed for her latest date. She was wearing a silky dress patterned with what looked very much like Blue Delft china. Below this were bone-coloured pantihose and a pair of low-heeled black pumps that made her feet look like they had been inserted with a heavy-duty shoehorn.

‘Don't you look great!' said Chris supportively.

‘Fantastic,' agreed Jenny, nodding.

Zoe looked at her with obvious disapproval. ‘Are you going out with that Ken again?'

‘Yes, love.'

‘Well, you enjoy yourself.' Chris sent a brief frown her daughter's way as Zoe's mouth opened again. ‘
That's
the important thing.'

‘But don't enjoy yourself
too
much,' added Jenny, shaking her finger sternly. ‘I know it's your third date, but we still expect you home at a decent hour. And no hanky panky.'

‘Gross,' chortled Michael.

‘I'll try t'remember.' Dot grinned happily at them. ‘Now, I meant to tell you before, Chris, only we got sidetracked by the possum poo, but –'

‘Possum poo?' repeated Jenny, looking questioningly at Chris.

‘Never mind.' Chris waved a hand dismissively. ‘Go on, Dot.'

‘Well, I asked my friend Beryl – she runs the general store in Badger's Creek – whether she'd put some of your eggs out for sale. Like on consignment, you know.'

‘And?' prompted Zoe eagerly.

‘And she said fine. If you bring her about ten cartons on Monday, she'll see how they go. But you'll only get money if they sell, mind, so it may backfire and you'll have t'pick up the whole lot again later. Do you want t'give it a try?'

‘Of course we do!' answered Jenny before Chris could even open her mouth. ‘That's a great idea, Dot. Thanks!'

‘No problem, love.'

‘And maybe we could ask at a few other stores as well.' Zoe turned to her mother. ‘I mean, if we were willing to drop the cartons off and only sell on consignment, then what have they got to lose?'

‘True,' Chris nodded reflectively. ‘But we'd have to timetable it so that I just do a run, say, twice a week. Otherwise it could be counterproductive.'

‘Now I'd better rush.' Dot smiled at them all and then flicked her eyes back to Jenny, obviously remembering something. ‘Jenny! Will I see you again, love? When're you leaving?'

‘I was going to mention that later.' Jenny looked across at Chris. ‘See, Lauren and I were talking and we thought we'd stay on till Wednesday. If that's okay?'

‘Of course it is! But maybe we'd better change the sleeping arrangements if you're staying on, I mean you must be getting sick of the boxroom by now.' Chris glanced from Lauren to Zoe tentatively. ‘Maybe . . .'

‘I'm happy where I am,' said Lauren quickly, no doubt concerned that a move might result in her being used as an unwilling sacrifice in some midnight druid ritual.

‘Don't worry. We're fine,' agreed Jenny. ‘Besides, beggars can't be choosers.'

‘Hasn't he rung yet, love?' asked Dot sympathetically.

‘Actually . . . no.' Jenny busied herself with the food. ‘That is, he's spoken to Lauren on her mobile but not me. No.'

‘That's too bad,' Dot sighed sadly.

Silence fell as Jenny concentrated on her meal, Lauren concentrated on her mother and everyone else tried to think of something constructive to say. Except Michael, who had picked up a pair of chopsticks and was attempting to lift a glistening snow pea in a similar fashion to the way Chris had attempted to use the two twigs earlier – and with similar results. After several failed attempts he finally managed to raise it halfway but, just as he opened his mouth in anticipation, one of the chopsticks slipped sideways and the snow pea flicked across onto his mother's plate. With a baleful look at him, she picked it up and placed it back on his plate. Then, taking one of his chopsticks, she skewered the snow pea with it and handed it back.

‘So
that's
how you do it!' said Michael with delight.

‘Well, I'd better run, otherwise Ken'll be waiting.'

‘Thanks, Dot.' Chris smiled at her appreciatively. ‘It was really nice of you to organise that for us. Look, have a great time. And see you tomorrow, hey?'

‘Certainly shall, love.' Dot waved at them all and then exited via the office door.

‘Can't keep
Ken
waiting, can we?' muttered Zoe crossly as soon as Dot had vanished.

‘What
is
it with you?' Chris frowned at her daughter. ‘Why can't the damn woman have some fun?'

‘Because she wants her to get back with Mac,' replied Jenny sagely, looking across at Zoe. ‘Don't you?'

‘Well . . . yes.'

Chris stared at Zoe with amazement. ‘Don't tell me you're becoming a romantic!'

‘It's not actually
romance
.' Lauren grimaced at the thought. ‘It's just that they
belong
together. And Mac's really pining now, you know.'

‘Pining?' Chris looked incredulous. ‘Lauren, they've had nothing to do with each other for fifteen
years
! He hasn't seemed too fussed so far!'

‘Actually that's not true,' Zoe put in. ‘They mightn't have spoken but they still did stuff for each other. Like he feeds her chooks all the time, you know.'

‘Of course I know,' Chris nodded smugly. She had a sudden image of Mac walking over to the fence every day for fifteen years with the silver bucket full of grain. Day after day after day, with no acknowledgement of his efforts. She felt a wave of pity until she remembered what he'd done and with whom. In the office. Chris involuntarily glanced towards that room and shuddered.

‘Yeah,' continued Zoe, glaring at her mother as if she was somehow responsible for setting Ken up with Dot. ‘So I don't think he thought she'd go and do
this
.'

‘Well, maybe he should have thought about that before
he
went and –'

‘Ah hem,' interrupted Jenny, ‘perhaps we should change the subject. And, Chris, are you sure it's okay for us to stay on a bit?'

‘Of course it is! I'm
thrilled
you're staying longer. Though if you think it extends our bet too, you're wrong.'

‘What bet?' asked Zoe suspiciously.

‘Nothing,' Jenny grinned. ‘And now, Lauren and I will show you
our
idea to help this little business along. It's a beauty!'

Having said this, she got up from the table and went back into the kitchen. Chris looked at Lauren curiously but the girl just smiled back. Jenny returned quickly carrying the cardboard box that they had brought in earlier. She placed it on the floor in front of Chris and stood back.

‘Open it.'

Bending over, Chris did as she was directed, flipping up the cardboard flaps and revealing a pile of white fluff. She stared at it, baffled.

‘Hold it up!' Lauren was kneeling on her chair for a better view.

‘What is it?' asked Michael, scrambling down and coming over to squat on the floor beside his mother. ‘Is it a dog?'

‘That's right, idiot,' said his sister derisively. ‘And from the way it's not moving, I'd say it's road-kill they picked up on the way home. Probably was really cute before it was hit by a Mack truck.'

‘Oh, is it dead?' asked Michael with interest.

‘No, it's not dead. It was never
alive
.' Chris picked up the fluff with both hands and started to haul it out of the box. ‘Jenny, what on earth is it?'

‘Look.' Jenny reached out and took the fluff pile, flipping it out so that the creases unfolded. Then she held it up by two corners so that the full length was on display. Chris, suddenly realising what it was, went pale.

‘That's fantastic!' shouted Zoe. ‘What a
great
idea!'

‘It's not a dog,' Michael stated sadly.

‘What do you think?' Jenny stuck her head around the side and grinned. ‘Well?'

Chris stared at it, speechless. Because it was a costume. To be precise, a
chook
costume. Complete with a headpiece featuring a huge, floppy red comb, a big orange-yellow beak and a dangly red thing under the chin. The rest of the costume consisted of a bodysuit of white fluff and two huge feathery wings. After letting Chris contemplate it for a few moments, Jenny obligingly turned the costume around, revealing a slightly padded behind that came out in a point with a couple of bedraggled looking tail feathers.