Flying High (7 page)

“You still refusing to mind Ricky for me day after tomorrow?” Lena asked her.

“Aunt Lena, I’d do most anything for you. You know that. But I am not going to let you make a mat of me for Nelson Wainwright. Left to you, I’d be in his path so much he’d have to step over me. No thanks. I’m not doing it.”

“Suit yourself. If it doesn’t happen one way, it’ll happen another. You can’t do a thing about the Lord’s will.”

“Come on, Aunt Lena. Just because you want it doesn’t mean the Lord has any such plans.”

“You’ll see.”

* * *

Nelson opened his front door at twenty minutes before eight that Saturday morning to see a woman’s finger reaching toward the doorbell. Attired in a loose T-shirt and shorts, he was on his way out for a sprint around the block. Looking down at the woman, he saw at once a resemblance to Audrey. He told himself not to get mad, but he knew that was useless when he began to grind his teeth, a sure sign that he was about to show his irritation.

“Who are you?” he asked her, knowing the answer before she opened her mouth. To her credit, she gazed up at him, seemingly unflappable.

“I’m Winifred Powers. Nice people call me Wendy. I’m helping my aunt out today. She said—”

He held up his right hand, palm out. “Don’t tell me what she said. I already know. She has an emergency that she can afford to take a day off to attend to because she has these nieces who have nothing to do with their Saturdays but babysit.” He allowed himself a smile; at least he hoped it looked like a smile since the shape of his mouth was the same as when he sneered. “Are you a doctor, too?”

She didn’t bat an eyelash, but ignored the taunt as one would excuse a child. “Nope. I’m a teacher. Can’t stand the sight of blood. What do you do when you’re not cross?”

“I do my best to avoid sharp-tongued females.”

She let her gaze travel from his feet to his head and back, then she pursed her lips as if in thought. “I don’t imagine you have much success. Not unless the women you meet are afflicted with extreme shortsightedness. Mind if I come in?”

She brushed by him, turned and asked, “Where’s Ricky?”

“That’s a good question. I’ve got two floors and a family room in the basement. Have fun.” Lena would be wise to have left before he got back; he had a few things to tell her, and he didn’t expect her to like any of them. She had promised to give him notice when she wanted to take an extra day off so that he could choose the person who would take care of Ricky. But she hadn’t done that, and no one had to tell him she had deliberately forgotten her promise. He ran down the steps. Lena could bring all of her nieces and throw in her sisters for good measure, but he wasn’t going to a doctor and he wasn’t going to get married. If she didn’t already know that, she soon would.

* * *

The next morning, Sunday, Audrey accompanied Wendy for breakfast at the home of their older sister, Pamela, as they did at least once a month. The three sisters enjoyed a close, loving relationship, but that morning Audrey joined them with reluctance. She didn’t feel like being joshed about Nelson Wainwright, and she knew she could expect it. Her mind seemed to have glued itself to him, for she could hardly think of anything or anyone else.

The nation’s Capitol was most beautiful in spring, and they ate outside on the deck shaded by the elms and the willow tree that Pam’s husband, Hendren, had brought as a sapling from south Florida. Pam’s garden of roses released a delicious perfume, adding to the loveliness of the morning.

“Did you make grits and sausage?” Wendy asked Pam.

“I wanted waffles and strawberries,” Audrey said. “Nobody’s waffles taste as good as yours.” It was the Saturday morning breakfast their mother always made for them when they were growing up. Pam had assumed the parental role after their mother passed and, after she married, had continued the Saturday morning breakfast ritual. But Wendy had refused to eat waffles anymore, and switched to the Southern soul breakfast that their late father had preferred.

“I cooked all of that,” Pam said, “and I’ll have it over there on the sideboard in a minute. I hope you’ve got room in those pants you’re wearing, Wendy.”

Wendy sipped her coffee. “I didn’t buy these pants for comfort, girl. These things are man-tamers.”

“Yeah,” Audrey said. “If you crossed Pennsylvania Avenue and Fourteenth at noon on a Friday, there’d be a ten-car collision.”

“You said it,” Pam put in. “Speaking of man-taming, what did Nelson say about your visit yesterday?”

“Nelson?” Wendy let out a sharp whistle. “Girl, you gotta go over there and get a load of Nelson Wainwright. The man oozes sex. I took one look at that brother and decided that I’ve been right all these years.”

She turned to Audrey. “You need your brain cells repaired.” She let herself contemplate the grits, sausage and scrambled eggs on her plate, then she smiled. “Maybe you don’t. Any woman with sense would stay out of that guy’s way. Now of course, if he came on to her, showed a little interest...now that’s another matter.” She savored the food. “Pam, I eat grits every day, but they never taste like yours.”

“That’s because you’re the one who’s cooking,” Pam said, referring to Wendy’s piddling culinary skills. But Audrey knew her older sister’s thoughts had not left the subject of Nelson Wainwright. Pam was one of those people who could wring a topic bone-dry.

“Why are you avoiding him, Audrey?” Pam asked. “Didn’t the two of you get on?”

No point in lying about it. “We got on fine, but I’ve had it with these good-looking men who ooze charm and charisma and know it. One of ’em is plenty for me.”

Wendy put her fork down and stared at her sister. “Bull. I saw him, remember? I’ll bet anything your problem is you fell for him like a rocket hurtling through space, and you’re scared to death. Seen him since the day you took care of Ricky? Huh?”

“You know I was at Ricky’s birthday party.”

“That’s not what I meant. You gave yourself away. Ever kissed him?”

Now what did she say to that? She wasn’t about to tell anybody that she’d kissed Nelson Wainwright on the cheek when she was tipsy and didn’t remember doing so.

“Get off my case, will you, Wendy? I didn’t come over here this morning to get the third degree.”

“Okay,” Wendy said. “Just drawing a few things to your attention. Incidentally, Ricky talked about you nonstop, and his doting uncle did not discourage him. I got the impression that you’re evening shade and morning sunrise in that house.” She slapped her hand over her lips. “Oops! There I go running my mouth.”

“Did Nelson complain about Aunt Lena getting you to replace her without his permission or even telling him in advance?” Audrey asked Wendy.

“After he got over the shock of seeing me there that time of day, he was cordial to me. I don’t know what he said to Auntie after I left. The problem wasn’t Wainwright; it was Ricky. That child could hardly stand the sight of me. He looked up at me, poked out his bottom lip and walked off. The Colonel apologized. Said Ricky wanted you. Let me tell you, it was a long day.”

Pam put a bowl of mixed fresh fruit on the table and sat down. “This is very interesting, Wendy. You say the Colonel is the epitome of sin itself, and yet you were not affected by all that masculinity?”

“Not a crumb. I knew right off he was disappointed that I wasn’t Audrey. Besides, I learned long ago to like who likes me. We haven’t talked about anything this morning but the Colonel. The man’s ears must be burning like wildfire. Give him a try, Audrey. He’s worth it.”

* * *

Sunday evening, Nelson ruminated about Lena’s strange behavior. He could not understand why Lena thought he might not accept a professional woman, especially a teacher, to babysit for Ricky. He couldn’t figure out her agenda. And surely, if she wanted him to get involved with Audrey, she wouldn’t toss Audrey’s sexy younger sister at him. He waited until after Ricky was asleep and knocked on her door.

“Why?” she asked him. “I had to get Wendy because Audrey refused to come. She full of notions, that one.”

“What kind of notions?”

“She thinks I’m trying to palm her off on you.”

“You aren’t playing matchmaker? I sure thought you were.”

She placed her left hand on her hip and looked up at him in a way that emphasized the differences in their height. “Would I do a thing like that, Colonel?”

He couldn’t help laughing at her antics. “Lena, you would and you are. But listen to this, and I am serious. The next time you have to be away, let me know in advance. I have a right to decide who takes care of Ricky. Got that?”

“My goodness, sir. I feel like I’m back in grade school. I know how to obey orders. Uh...you speak to Audrey since she was here last?”

“No. Why?”

“That girl hasn’t said one single solitary word to me since that night. I declare.”

He wasn’t going to let her change the subject. “I meant what I said, Lena. Your nieces are fine women, but I am the one who decides who takes care of Ricky.”

“Yes, sir. You sure are.”

He left her, thinking he hadn’t accomplished one thing. Later, sitting on the deck with his feet propped against the railing, he observed the rolling clouds and the moon that flickered in and out of them. In two weeks, he would have to go to Camp Pendleton for five days and he wasn’t looking forward to it. He knew the material and was confident that they could work out a program that Congress would approve. If he did his job, a recommendation for promotion was as good as his.

So he couldn’t understand his reluctance. He ought to be waiting impatiently for the day, his engines revved and ready. Admittedly, he would rather not leave Ricky at a time when the child delighted so much in their bonding. A warm wind blew over him, warm and light like Audrey’s kiss on his cheek. He put his hands behind his head, leaned back in the chaise longue and let the memory of her mouth on him torture him until he felt it in the pit of his gut.

“I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t,” he said as he left the deck, went up to his room and dialed Audrey’s number.

Chapter 4

“H
ello, Audrey, this is Nelson,” he said when she answered. “How are you?”

“Oh! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. I don’t know why. I just wasn’t.”

That rambling suggested that her nerves matched his. “I wasn’t expecting to call.”

“Then why did you? Call, I mean.”

“Because you won’t stop fooling around in my brain. I want to talk with you.”

“Gosh, I’m sorry. If you’d show me the way out of your head, I’d leave.”

“Clever. But I don’t want that tonight. Anything but that.”

Her voice, soft and feminine as if she had dropped a mask, a personality cloak, and revealed her own self, came to him over the wires sweet and tender. “What is it, Nelson? What’s the matter?”

If he could only hold her, bury himself in her and let himself live!
“I need a resolution to whatever it is that’s happening between us. And something is. If you tell me I’m mistaken, I won’t believe you.”

“Nelson—”

“Don’t say it. Talk to me, Audrey. If you don’t have anything to say, recite a poem. Anything. Just stay on the line and talk to me.”

“Something is wrong. Can’t you tell me?”

He was beginning to question the wisdom of calling her. Letting his emotions overflow was not his style; indeed it was contrary to his character. He had to come to grips with this thing he had for her and deal with his indecisiveness about her. Irresoluteness wasn’t a part of his makeup. He meant to take charge of his next career move, and he’d begin to plan for Ricky and Lena in case he went on a mission and didn’t return. But he couldn’t focus, because Audrey was in the way. There. Everywhere. A light in the distance promising to illumine his life if only he would come close. He shook his head the way a bird releases water from its feathers.

“Oh, yes,” he said in answer to her question. “I definitely can tell you
that,
but I don’t want to terminate such friendship as we have.”

“And what you’re thinking would do that?”

His half-smile wasn’t one of amusement, but of self-mockery. “What I’m thinking wouldn’t, but what I’m feeling...that’s another matter.”

She took her time answering, and he understood that she finally appreciated the true measure of his seriousness. “You’ve touched on my reason for not agreeing to stay with Ricky. I suspect my aunt of matchmaking, and...Nelson, I’ve walked down that road and I still bear the wounds.”

“You’re not alone. I’ve done the same, and believe me, the result was not an enhanced belief in human virtue. Are you saying we do nothing about it? Ignore it and wonder whether we could have made...what it would have been like? That’s what you’re suggesting?”

“I’m a strong person, Nelson, but I’m not sure I’m up to two emotional tornados in this life. If I’m going to hurt, I’d as soon not have the accompanying humiliation.”

So he was right. She cared and, as candid as she was, if he asked her, she would probably admit it. He’d have to give his next move—if he made one—a lot of thought.

“We can talk by phone, can’t we?”

“Nelson, I don’t think... All right. We can do that. I’ll come see Ricky when you’re not home. Is that all right?”

“As long as you visit him, I don’t care when you do it. He fell in love with you, so much so that he resented your sister and let her know he wanted you.”

“She told me. She also said you impressed her.”

He didn’t want to hear that, either. “I didn’t try.”

“I’m sure of that, and so was she. Uh, when you call me, let’s not talk about anything important?”

Finally, he could laugh, a genuine belly laugh that thundered out of him, releasing the pent-up energy, throttling the nefarious libido that had him in hand when he called her, and turning his world right-side up. He laughed until his spirits lifted.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re so priceless. We’ll talk about movies and plays we’ve seen, places we’ve been, paintings we hate, boats we’ve sailed on. I can think of dozens of impersonal topics, and we can discuss them with words and leave what we feel out of it.”

“Oh, Nelson, I’m ashamed. I guess that sounded awful. I just don’t want us to talk about our...uh...re—”

“Our feelings for each other? Then we won’t, but at least you’ve admitted we have them. I’ll call you, and I wouldn’t mind hearing from you. Good night and sleep well.”

“You too. Good night.”

* * *

Audrey got out of bed, where she had been relaxing and trying to understand her feelings, her ambivalence about Nelson and her growing sense that she couldn’t control those feelings as she did everything else in her life. She walked around her bedroom, looking at pictures of Pamela, Winifred and herself as children and of her late parents and grandparents.

There was so much love in our home and in my life as I grew up. I thought anyone would love me because every person I knew seemed to dote on me. Lord, was I naive! Just the inexperienced and trusting girl that such men as Gerald Latham prey on. I want to love, and I want someone to love me and care for me. I want to love Nelson; everything in me wants him, but how can I leave myself open to that kind of pain again?

She moved from her bedroom to the living room, put on a Diane Reeves CD, got a handful of Chupa Chups lollipops, and sank into the cushion of her favorite chair. With so much on her mind, she wouldn’t sleep, so she might as well enjoy herself. At the end of the Reeves CD, she put on an early Billie Holiday cassette, and fell asleep as Billie’s voice haunted her with “Good Morning Heartache,” a song about the fruits of misplaced love.

She awoke the next morning with a kink in her neck and as tired as if she had never slept. She showered, drank two cups of black coffee and went to work, vowing to keep her distance from Nelson Wainwright and all other attractive men.

* * *

Nelson went to the meeting of the MEU, presented the views of the command center and did what he went there to do. Moreover, he did it in spite of the frequent divergence of his mind to Ricky, Lena and Audrey. Thus, he was unprepared for the adulation of his peers and the more senior officers.

“The Corps must be proud of you, Colonel,” a general told him. “I’m glad you’re on our side.”

“So am I, sir. It’s a thing for which I give thanks daily,” he said, standing away from the shorter man so as not to dwarf him with the ten-inch difference in their height. He knew well the importance of remaining humble and respecting his superiors.

“I expect to hear more from you,” the general said.

Nelson thanked the officer but kept his focus on the report he had to give to the Commandant.

He could identify success as well as the next man, and he didn’t doubt that he would see a smile on the Commandant’s face when he returned to the Pentagon. As he left the scene of his triumph, a restlessness pervaded him, had ever since he left home, and he couldn’t banish it. After five days of conferences and forced camaraderie, he walked out of Ronald Reagan International Airport in Washington, got into his car and headed for Alexandria and home.

As he neared the house, he began to anticipate the pleasure of Ricky’s smiles, hugs and chatter, and the joy of being
home
. The Corps did well by him, but he had yet to eat food cooked in an Army, Navy or Marine Corps kitchen that equaled Lena’s gourmet fare. He parked in front of the house, dashed up the walk and opened the door.

Not a sound. And what a letdown! His heart began a wild thud in his chest. Where were Lena and Ricky? He dashed up the stairs then down in the basement.
God, please don’t let anything happen to them?

He sat down and put on his officer’s thinking cap.
Where would Lena leave a message, if indeed she’d left one?

On a hunch, he went into the kitchen where he found Lena’s green notepaper affixed to the refrigerator door.

“I’m sorry I had to go see about my uncle,” he read. “You weren’t here to ask, so I did the best I could. Ricky is staying over at Audrey’s place till either you or I get back.”

It didn’t occur to him to telephone her. All that talk about not wanting to get involved wasn’t worth the breath she used to utter it. As long as she had Ricky, she had
him,
and a woman smart enough to get a medical degree knew that. Ordinarily, he was slow to anger, but before he could reason about it his irritation exploded into an anger bordering on rage. What did they take him to be?

He took the Capital Beltway with as much speed as he dared to drive and, within what had to be record time, parked in front of Audrey’s house.
Whatever happened to front porches?
he asked himself, irritated because he couldn’t pace, but had to stand still on the little landing.

His gaze fell on the brass angel that served as a knocker and its tiny replica that was the doorbell. So much like her. He rang the bell. Which one of those women was she, anyhow? And what was taking her so long? He couldn’t wait to get his hands on her, to shake some sense... A string of expletives streamed from his mouth at the thought of squeezing her to him and sinking into her. That’s what he wanted. He wasn’t angry, he admitted to himself, and he hadn’t been angry. He’d been nearly out of his mind for her and he’d used Ricky being in her home as an excuse to get to her. He told himself to calm down.

She flung the door open wide, saw him, and her face glowed in a smile. All he could do was stand there and gaze at her.

“Where’s Ricky?”

Her eyes widened and she stepped back from the door. “Why, he’s upstairs in the guest room. I was just reading him a story. He’s been busy all day, and he’s wiped out. Hello, Nelson. How are you? Come on in.”

He’d been upbraided before but, in his memory, not with such precision. “Hello, Audrey,” he said in a voice that surprised him with its softness. “I don’t suppose you and Lena planned this?”

She whirled around and left him standing there with no choice but to follow her. He took his time. He was not a rude man, and he had patience. Plenty of it. But he had limits, too. She had claimed she didn’t want an intimate relationship with him, but as she stood at that open door with the expression of one who welcomed her lover, her face belied her words. He’d made her angry, but so what? Wasn’t he furious? He watched her head up the stairs, her hips swaying in a look-but-don’t-touch kind of sexy arrogance that sent his blood arrow-straight to his groin.

He walked up the stairs, slowly taking his time and remembering the pleasure she’d given him when he climbed those stairs before with her tucked in his arms. This wasn’t the time for his libido to get out of control, he thought, as twinges of desire began to mock him. He heard the sound of soft singing and stopped. A lullaby. Brahms’s Lullaby. Uncertain now as his anger deserted him entirely, he followed the low, sultry voice to the end of the hallway and stepped to the entrance of the open door.

He gasped and nearly lost his breath, poleaxed by the scene before him. With the wall taking his weight, he stared, lost in them. She sat in the middle of the bed, her knees crossed in the lotus position, holding Ricky in her lap with his head against her breasts. She sang with her eyes closed and gently swayed. He had a sudden and powerful urge to exchange places with the child, and it cost him every bit of his will power to stave off the evidence of desire.

Evidently realizing that Ricky was asleep, she slid off the bed, placed him beneath the covers and kissed his cheek. Then she placed the white bunny in the bed beside him, turned out the light and started toward the door.

“Oh! I didn’t know you were here. I thought you stayed downstairs. I—”

“Forgive me, Audrey. I don’t know what got into me.” She looked up at him, and he could see the hurt he’d caused her. She shook her head as if denying something.

“You...I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. Can’t you see I...” He couldn’t hold it back any longer. “My God, Audrey. I need you. Baby, I need you.
I need you!
” He ached to feel her flesh beneath the pads of his fingers. She attempted to pass him in the doorway, and he didn’t blame her.

So close. The smell of her hair and the perfume she wore made havoc with his olfactory sense, and with her body less than a finger’s length from him, he smelled her woman’s fragrance and thought he would lose his mind.

“Audrey!” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and he grabbed her hand and folded her into his arms. “Baby, don’t you need me?”

“Nelson, please. Oh, Lord. I don’t want to start—”

“We started it the minute we met. Don’t you know that? It hit you the same way it got me.” He tipped up her chin with his index finger and stared into her eyes.

Her lips quivered as he gazed at them, glistening with sweetness, and when she moistened them with the tip of her tongue, he said, “To hell with everything else,” lowered his head, gripped her shoulders with one hand and her buttocks with the other and tasted her at last.

Her lips parted and he plunged into her, rolling his tongue around in her mouth, tasting her sweetness and anointing every crevice.

* * *

His big hand began to stroke and caress her buttocks, creating a storm within her, as his tongue danced in and out of her mouth, twirling and tantalizing until she thought she would burn. Her nipples ached and her feminine center pulsated with desire. His groans excited her, and she grabbed his hand and placed it on her right breast. At once, he lifted her to fit him, plunged his hand into her scooped-neck blouse to free her breast and sucked her nipple into his mouth. Ah, the sweetness! The God-given pleasure! She pressed his head to her breast and arched her back, giving him all. She heard her keening cry, but couldn’t help herself. The feel and smell of man intoxicated her. Frissons of heat shot through her, and her blood pounded in her ears as tension gathered in her vagina. He stepped away from the door, closed it with his foot and pressed her body against it while he nipped and suckled her until she felt the moisture flow from her. He moved back from her, but not quickly enough. She didn’t care; she wanted him to feel what she felt, to want her as badly as she wanted him.

“Nelson, honey, I can’t stand this. It’s...it’s too soon for what we need right now.”