Flying High (16 page)

“Why should I mind? You’re not putting your weight on me. Besides, you’re right where you belong.”

He wasn’t in the mood for loose talk. He didn’t want to hear nice words that would be forgotten within minutes, words that fell glibly from the tongue and not from the heart.

“I’m still inside of you. Is this where I belong? Is it?”

Her gaze didn’t waver, but fixed on him almost as if in defiance. “So long as you meet the conditions for entrance, yes. But those conditions can change.”

She had never misled him and she was honest with him then. It was a trait that he prized. “I’m aware of that. It goes both ways,” he said, and then repeated it to make certain that she understood him. “Is there another man in your life who is important to you?”

She stirred, either restless or impatient with the question. He wasn’t sure which.

“I’m not involved with anyone else, and you have to know—”

He wouldn’t let her say it. “I knew it had been a really long time for you because you were as tight as a virgin. What I want to know is whether you’re willing for us to try and find out whether what we feel for each other is solid enough to build a life on.”

She dragged her fingers out of his hair, and a pensive expression traveled over her face. “This wasn’t easy for me. Admitting to myself that I wanted this with you, that I needed to...to make love with you, was a big thing for me, and I took an enormous step when I let myself follow through and accept what I yearned for. It isn’t you, my reluctance has always been my problem with
me
.” She took a deep breath. “I’m scared, Nelson. I don’t doubt that I love you, but—”

“Then can you at least commit to giving us a chance?”

“I want to see what we’ve got going for us, but I can’t bear the thought of ever again going out on a limb only to have it chopped off. What you don’t know is that that man was the first and the only one. What he did nearly made me into a man-hater. I... Sorry I mentioned that. Thoughts of him send my blood pressure up.”

He stroked her forehead and let his fingers caress the silken flesh of her cheek. “Will you tell me about it? Sometimes it helps to talk these things out.”

“Maybe sometime. I don’t want to spoil our time together, and that’s exactly what would happen if I began to relive it.”

“I understand, but I hope someday you’ll be able to talk to me about it. Until you do, it will be a barrier between us, a small one maybe, but an obstacle nonetheless.” He raised himself up on his elbows and pinned his gaze on her eyes. “Give us a chance, Audrey. I need to know. I...if it’s ‘no,’ I can take it, but—”

“All right. If I trusted you enough to lie with you in bed this way, I can take the next step.”

He’d settle for that, he told himself, and he would make certain that her thoughts didn’t stray far from him. “You feel all right?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Who, me?”

He almost laughed. “Yes, you. Did you get straightened out? Did you climax?”

Her eyes widened and her face took on an air of innocence, which he didn’t doubt she feigned. “You mean...gee, was something special supposed to happen?”

“Liar. You’re damned right something was supposed to happen, and it should have been extra-special.”

“Really? Oh.”

He’d teach her a thing or two. Looking into her eyes, he stroked her left nipple until she sucked in her breath and lowered her gaze. He rolled it between his thumb and index finger, and when she swallowed again and again he pulled it into his mouth and sucked on it until her moans filled the room.

Fully erect, he began to move, and she met his thrust with a ravenous body, the body of a woman fully cognizant of the rewards in store for her. When he felt her love tunnel begin to clutch and squeeze him, signaling the advent of her completion, he slowed down, broke the rhythm and looked at her.

“Nothing happened, huh? You practically wrung me out of socket, but you didn’t feel anything special. Right?”

She thrashed her head to the side. “You stop teasing me. You hear?”

He kissed her top lip. “I’m not the one who’s teasing. You’re squeezing me damned near senseless, blowing my mind, and I’m feeling like a king. But if not a damned thing is happening to you, it’s one-sided, and it’s selfish of me to—”

Her fist pounded his back. “If you leave me hanging like this, I’ll...I’ll... Nelson,
please!
”

“Did you have an orgasm? Was it good for you? Was it?”

“You know it was. I’ve never felt like that before. Never. Oh, Nelson, I’m somewhere between hell and high water. Do something!”

“Then don’t tell me tales. You love me?”

“Yes. Yes, I love you. But I won’t if you’re mean to me.”

“Mean to you? Never, sweetheart. I can’t even imagine it.” He rimmed her lips with his tongue, wrapped his arms around her and took her on a short, sweet ride to paradise.

* * *

Later, driving home, he thought of the commitment he’d just made, not in words but in his actions and in his own heart. And how he’d hated to leave her, to walk away from the sweetest loving he had ever experienced. He didn’t want Ricky to awaken and become anxious when he realized his uncle wasn’t home, but of equal importance to him was the need to shield Audrey from the all-knowing NSS. Whom she made love with was none of the government’s business.

At the Fourteenth Street Bridge leading to Alexandria, he slowed down to a crawl and eased to the shoulder to give an ambulance the right-of-way. Realizing that there had been an accident, he got out of his car.

“Can I help?” he asked a police officer.

The officer shook his head. “Too late. One of these days, teenagers will learn that the automobile is not a toy.”

He got back in his car to wait until the traffic cleared, and his thoughts went to his nephew. He would instill in Ricky a sense of responsibility, a respect for law and the rights of others. Bracing his arms against the steering wheel, he wondered at the level of commitment parenthood entailed. He wanted children of his own, but how could he teach them how to live if he was putting out fires thousands of miles away from them? He wanted action, always had, and he needed it. And he wanted those four silver stars on his collar. But he also needed a family and...and Audrey Powers.

The traffic began to move, and the policeman waved him on. But he drove slowly, contemplating his life. By the time he walked into his house he had resolved that someone in an official capacity was going to tell him why he was an agent’s target. And soon.

Chapter 8

S
he had always heard that after lovemaking, a woman should feel warm, cozy and sleepy, a pile of warm mush. And loved. Warm and cozy, yes. Loved, definitely. But after daydreaming and fantasizing about Nelson, counting sheep and even doing imaginary neck massages, she remained wide-awake. She reached inside the drawer of her night table for her copy of Donna Hill’s
An Ordinary Woman
and read for an hour, but couldn’t get sleepy.

What’s the matter with me? I never have trouble falling asleep.
She got up, went downstairs and reclined in the chaise longue on her porch, away from the print of his body on the sheet beside her, away from his special scent, the smell of lovemaking, and the drugging reminders of how she felt when he was inside of her. Away from the scene of her capitulation to the demands of her heart, body, mind and soul. And in the quiet of that moonlit night, she grappled with the conflict between her head and her heart. She had conditioned herself to life without the emotional seesaw that being in love guaranteed. She had learned to walk alone, to chart her own course and to follow it, but that was before she’d loved Nelson Wainwright.

He said he welcomed loving her and all that that implied, but she knew he might find that he cherished his freedom more than he cherished her. As for her, she already knew she’d have trouble living without him. She had experienced the pain and the disappointment that could puncture one’s life when love soured like a jar of overripe fruit. Love him, she did, but she was going to move cautiously. Very cautiously. She had no choice.

A soft breeze and the chirping of robins and sparrows awoke her the next morning as red, gray and blue streaks of color announced the rise of the sun. Groggy from having slept lightly, she found her way up the stairs, showered and dressed. The phone rang as she entered the kitchen to make coffee.

“Audrey Powers.”

“Hope I didn’t wake you up, child, but I had to tell you I think you should come over here and have a look at the Colonel’s neck. Believe me, I never saw him in so much pain. He said he’d take a hot shower and he’d be all right. I told him he was fooling himself; if water could stop pain, there wouldn’t be no acupuncturists, and television would be out of business.”

Sometimes her Aunt Lena could draw a straight line and get a curve. “How does television get into the picture?”

“Well, that’s the way they make their money, isn’t it? Aspirin, Tylenol and Aleve. But at least you don’t have to tell your doctor to prescribe them for you. Come over before he leaves for work. I declare, I don’t see how a man that big can be scared of doctors.”

“Aunt Lena, I can’t do that without his permission. He wouldn’t like it. I will call him and feel him out, though. Thanks for letting me know. Bye.”

She made the coffee, got a glass of orange juice and sat down at the kitchen table with that and her mobile phone. She half hoped he had left home by then, because whether they admitted it or not, her status with him had changed and she didn’t know how he would react to her cautioning him about his health. She sucked in her breath and dialed the number.

“I was just about to phone you,” he said after they greeted each other. “Did you sleep well, and how are you this morning?”

She told the truth. “I didn’t sleep well, and I woke up as groggy as a drunken chicken.”

“What?”

“You wouldn’t leave me alone, so I went downstairs and slept on my back porch. That accounts for my morning grogginess.”

“I don’t know how to take that. I thought I left you happy and that you’d sleep like a lamb.”

She reached over to the stove for the coffeepot and poured another cupful of coffee. “You left me happy, Nelson. Never doubt that. How are
you?
”

“Great. I’ve got some readjusting to do, but that’s to be expected.”

What was he talking about? Her heart nearly stopped beating. “Readjusting to what?”

“To you, lady. You’re causing me to rethink my life.”

She wasn’t sorry to hear that, but she wouldn’t say so. “Oh! Well, join the crowd.” Either he didn’t plan to tell her about that neck pain or her aunt had exaggerated. She had to take a chance.

“By the way, I meant to give you a copy of some exercises for your neck when it gets out of hand, but we got into, well...you took my mind off it last night. Want me to mail them to you? Or I could drop them off.”

She wondered if his silence indicated annoyance. After a time he said, “Are you suggesting that we won’t see each other again before the United States Post Office can deliver a letter to me? Didn’t you say you were willing to see if what we have is solid enough to build a future on?”

“I did, and I’m sticking with it.” He’d pledged the same, but didn’t that mean he should level with her about his health or anything else that mattered to him?

“I’ll be by this afternoon with the exercise plan.” She didn’t doubt that once he realized that the exercises would give him relief, he would perform them assiduously.

“Good. If I haven’t gotten home, wait for me.”

Indeed she would, and she would give him her professional opinion about ignoring a serious health problem. He might not like it, but that wouldn’t stop her.

* * *

However, Nelson’s neck was not his major concern that day. He arrived at work half an hour early and began drafting alternative strategies for landing in hilly, bare and arid terrain with three different types of aircraft. Several hours later when he studied the results of his morning’s work, pride suffused him, and looking at what he’d done was like a shot of adrenaline urging him to action. He had to get back to Afghanistan, had to finish the job. But did he have the freedom to do that? Could he leave Lena and Ricky? And what about Audrey? Worst was the niggling question of whether the pain he lived with would place his men at risk.

He told himself he could handle it, and was about to ask for an appointment with the Commandant when his phone rang.

“Checkmate twice.”

He lunged forward. If he had a pain then, he didn’t feel it. “Yeah.”

“Starbucks in fifteen minutes.”

As usual, she faced the door and sat with her back to the wall. “I take it your desk is clear and you locked your briefcase in a drawer.”

He nodded, wondering where his orders would take him. “There’s a car right out front, USMC issue.”

“Where will it take me?”

“Home.”

“What about my own car?”

“It’s being examined for evidence of tampering. Now go.”

He stood and glared down at her. “What the hell am I looking for when I get home, Marilyn? I’m damned sick and tired of this cat-and-mouse stuff. Is anything wrong with my family?”

“I imagine you are. You’re wasting precious time. Our man has everything under control. See you.”

He had no choice but to go. He got in the car, slammed the door and said, “Step on it.” He normally drove to and from work in twenty to twenty-five minutes, depending on traffic, and although his driver pressed the speed limit, the car seemed to crawl and the twenty minutes seemed like several hours.

“I’ll wait for you here,” the corporal said, “in case you need me.”

Not liking the sound of that, he jumped from the car and ran up the walk. As he put his key in the lock, the door opened and he faced a six-foot-three stranger, a hulk of a man. But at that point nothing shocked or surprised him. He pushed past the man and would have headed into the house if the heavy hand on his shoulder hadn’t given him cause to ask questions.

“Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?”

“I’m on your side, Colonel,” the man said, showing his ID.

“If somebody doesn’t tell me what’s going on, I’ll—”

“Everybody’s okay. A man snatched your nephew, and your housekeeper became hysterical and had to be sedated. A nurse is with her in her room.”

“Where’s my child?”

“He’s in custody. Your driver will take you to get him. Clever little fellow. When the guy grabbed your boy, he kicked him in the groin, and that gave our man the chance for a clear aim at the knee. It’ll be a while before he walks again, if ever. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He resisted calling Marilyn and giving her a piece of his mind. She could have told him that and sent him directly to get Ricky. Inhaling deeply and exhaling long breaths, he willed his heart to slow down and his nerves to return to normal. Eventually, his driver stopped at a restored turn-of-the-century mansion in Logan Circle, which, from its exterior, appeared to be the residence of a well-heeled family.

He opened the door and responded to the salute from the young marine who stood between the service colors and Old Glory. “I’m Colonel Wainwright.”

“Yes, sir. Ricky’s right in there having the time of his life.” He pointed to a door off the entrance.

Nelson walked the few steps to what was obviously a reception room, and stopped at the door. A bucket of ice with a variety of soft drinks sat on the table in the center of the room along with assorted fruit and a plate of cookies, and he’d bet anything that his nephew hadn’t told anyone there that he wasn’t allowed to drink soft drinks, only lemonade and fruit juices. Ricky sat in the middle of the floor amidst figures he had constructed from Lego sets. And he had for a companion an attractive young woman, seventeen or eighteen years old, who appeared enchanted with him.

Nelson walked into the room. “I don’t suppose you would consider leaving all this fun and coming home with me.”

“Unca Nelson!”
Parts of a train flew in different directions. “Did you hear what happened, Unca Nelson? Some people came and took my picture. I kicked the man just like you taught me to do.” Suddenly, his enthusiasm quelled. “But he was a bad man, Unca Nelson, and a nice man had to shoot him. And I think maybe Miss Lena got sick.” He ran to Nelson and wrapped his arms around his uncle’s leg. “Can we go home and see if Miss Lena is all right?”

“Sure, but first I think we ought to clean up this party you were enjoying. And don’t worry about the bad man. He’ll be all right.”

“Heather is my friend, aren’t you, Heather?”

The girl stood. “I’ll take care of it, Colonel Wainwright. He’s a wonderful child. Can I have a hug, Ricky?”

The boy obliged, and Nelson shook hands with Heather and thanked her for caring for Ricky. On the drive home, he wished Marilyn could have listened to Ricky’s questions, every one of them to the point. Most telling was the query as to why a man wanted to take him away.

“Do you want to go back with me this afternoon, sir?” the driver asked Nelson, “or should I come for you tomorrow morning?”

He didn’t like being separated from his briefcase, but he had to check on Lena. “I’ll let you know in a few minutes,” he said. When he entered the house with Ricky, he went directly to Lena’s room and, to his relief, found her sitting on the side of her bed talking with the nurse.

“Thank the good Lord you’re home,” she said. “You can go now,” she told the nurse. The Colonel will take care of everything. Ricky, honey, come here and let me hug you. I declare I never been so scared in my whole life.”

Ricky’s little arms locked around her neck. “I wasn’t scared. I did what my Unca Nelson told me to do.”

The nurse stood and saluted Nelson. “Lieutenant Harriet Ruff, sir. She’s fine now. A bit upset for a while, but she’ll tell you about it.”

He thanked the Navy nurse and walked with her down to the front door. “Do you have transportation back to your post?”

“Yes, sir. I have my car.”

“In about half an hour I’ll be ready to go back to the Pentagon,” he told his driver. “Would you like to stop somewhere for lunch?”

“Thank you, sir, but I can wait till I take you back to your office.”

When he returned to Lena’s room, he found her still sitting on the bed and Ricky leaning against her knee gazing up at her.

He pulled a chair close to them and sat down. “Tell me what happened, Lena.”

She took a deep breath and expelled it quickly. “Well, I took Ricky to the supermarket with me like I always do. You know he loves running up and down the aisles in that mega-store. All the clerks in there are crazy about him. I kept him close to me like you said, and thank the Lord I did. We got to the cashier, and I was paying for the food when Ricky ran between me and the cashier’s counter to grab the shopping cart—you know, he loves to push it. I looked up from counting out my money just in time to see this big fellow run around the side near the exit and grab Ricky. Good thing he was facing Ricky ’cause—”

“’Cause I kicked him right where you told me to, Unca Nelson.”

“When Ricky kicked him, he let the child go and grabbed himself ’bout the time I heard this shot. I didn’t know who they was shooting at. I think I screamed, but I tell you, I don’t remember. Next thing I know I’m here and this nurse is telling me to think pleasant thoughts. I looked at her and said, ‘Honey, you can’t be serious.’”

“We came home in this great big white car, Unca Nelson, and the man said the Marines take real good care of each other.” Ricky grinned, exuding charm as only his father could. “I’m gonna be a Marine.”

“I’m going back to work. I’ll—”

“Who shot the man, Unca Nelson?”

“Someone the Marines sent to take care of you and Miss Lena.”

Ricky’s eyes widened. “Gee!”

He had a few choice words for NSS, and the sooner he got it off his chest, the better he’d feel. He was an officer and, with his status, keeping him in the dark about something affecting his life and the lives of his family members didn’t sit well with him.

When he got back to the Pentagon, he got a hamburger and coffee in the cafeteria, went to his office and dialed Marilyn’s number.

“Checkmate. Are you coming here, or do I go to you?”

“Slow down, Colonel.”

“Either we talk now, or I’m going over your head, and I’m not walking into Starbucks again today.”

“All right. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

That didn’t give him enough time to eat the hamburger and call Audrey, too. He’d eat the hamburger, because not even NSS—knowing what he was certain they knew—was stupid enough to keep him in the dark if anything had happened to her.