Fly Me Home: Home is Where the Heat Is, Book 4 (11 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Saying goodbye should have been simple after what they’d shared, but Ian knew it wouldn’t be.

He’d never met someone as amazing as Elizabeth, and letting her walk off his plane was a knife to the chest he never expected. He watched her get dressed with a mixture of pride and amazement. Gone was the sexually nervous woman he’d first made love to. In her place was the softest, sweetest sexual dynamo he’d ever met.

She ran her hands through her hair in what must have been an effort to tame the mess of waves. It didn’t do a bit of good, but he memorized her half smile and shrug. Disheveled looked damn good on her.

“Guess I’ll just pin it,” she said when she noticed him watching.

“You look amazing.” He scooted off the bed and pulled his pants on. The moment he was done, he shoved his arms into his rumpled shirt. Damn this sucked. They’d stayed in bed, kissing and touching, and ignoring the captain’s orders to return to their seats and buckle for landing. When the jet had taxied to a stop, he’d crushed her close. Now, the same need overtook him and he pulled her in tight against him.

He’d never considered himself a clingy person. Hell, relationships came and went. Some lasted longer than others, but going through the crazy ride of a relationship with Jimmy had put him off of anything serious or close to emotional. Somehow, Elizabeth had wrapped her sweet little self around him and dug in some roots.

He couldn’t imagine a night without her, let alone the rest of his life. Fuck. This was supposed to be simple. Win-win for both of them. She got what she needed, he got what he needed. So why did the landing tie his guts in knots? “I’m going to miss you.”

She sat on the edge of the bed and hugged him tight. “I’ll miss you too, but I know we’ll see each other again.”

“We will?” The certainty in her eyes surprised him. “How do you figure?”

She pulled away and backed toward the door. “You still owe me an interview with Cash.”

She was right. He’d forgotten in the craziness of Jimmy’s death. “I’ll set it up as soon as I can manage it.”

“I know you will.”

“Do you still want my story?”

“Unless you promised it to my boss, I don’t need it.”

“I didn’t.” He’d offered nothing more than an exclusive look into the fashion world and to compensate him for her wages and her boss had jumped. “My interview was just incentive to get you to agree.”

“Then your story is safe with me. I don’t want to share you with the world anyway.”

“I knew I could trust you.” It was a shitty response, but it was all he could offer.

Her eyes were sad, and she grasped the door handle tightly. “Good luck with Jimmy’s family. I’ll be thinking of you. You can call me if you need to talk, but do me a favor? Don’t come out with me. I’m doing my best not to get all emotional. We say goodbye for now, right here. I want to walk away without losing it. Okay?”

Ian nodded, his throat tight. “Thanks for…everything. For being you and making my life fun for a little while.”

“It was fun, wasn’t it?” She pulled the door open.

“Fun doesn’t scratch the surface.” He gripped his hands into fists at his sides. “Goodbye for now, Elizabeth.”

“Goodbye for now, New York.”

Then she was gone.

Ian was a mess. He understood what he had to do, for her. Maybe even for himself. She’d made it easy. But it didn’t feel easy. He forced himself not to watch her leave and managed a whole minute before the window drew him.

Flipping off the cabin lights, he watched as shadows traveled through the frosted glass hall into the airport. Through the larger, clear windows of the airport, he could see an older woman waiting. She paced nervously, her hands wringing the straps of her oversized purse. Occasionally, she patted her white hair or adjusted her glasses. He had no doubt this was Mama.

The moment Elizabeth stepped into the room, the woman’s features lit up. She rushed forward and crushed Elizabeth in a huge hug, her smile so big he felt it as though
he’d
walked into her hug.

Elizabeth kissed her and pulled her over to the window.

Ian stepped back quickly. He didn’t want her to know he was watching, then felt stupid because he’d already turned off the lights. She pointed to his jet and her mama jabbered away at a million miles an hour. Elizabeth nodded and spoke to her, but he watched the way she looked out the window. Closing her eyes, she pressed a hand against the glass. After a long moment, she opened them again and let her mother lead her away.

He heard it, though. Her silent goodbye. Felt it right to his toes.
Goodbye, Elizabeth.

Then she was gone. The captain said something about refueling and takeoff, but Ian sank down to the edge of his bed. Her scent still lingered in the sheets.

Getting her out of his head wasn’t going to be easy, but that was what he was going to do. They had separate lives. Too different. He had to get his shit together and get back to normal.

The only way he’d do that was to tie up loose ends. First, Jimmy’s funeral. Second, Cash’s interview. Third…he had to go back to Delhi.

Liz woke up to the scent of home fries, bacon and maple syrup.

Nothing screamed welcome home like a great big breakfast cooked by a loving Mama. She smiled and rolled over. It was good to be home. As it had every morning, her smile faltered. She missed Ian more with every passing day.

It’d had been over a week since she’d been home, and Mama seemed to be determined to put back on the weight she swore Liz lost while she’d been off
esplorin’ the planet
.

If Mama knew the real extent of her daughter’s calorie-burning activities, she’d probably spend a week in church asking the Lord to save her possessed daughter.

Rolling over to face the window, Liz tucked her pillow in close and tried to recall Ian’s scent. It was easy and difficult at once. She could recall it in her memory, but she wished she’d stolen one of his shirts. Or stolen him.

Her bed and life had never been so empty. Texas was where she wanted to be. It was her life. Even as much as she’d enjoyed flitting around the world with Ian, she’d longed for the scent of honeysuckle. She’d missed the waves from friendly faces she’d known since birth, and dirt roads and farmland. She’d missed her comfy bed and the hand-quilted bedspread Gram had made her.

But she missed Ian too.

Tears erupted as they did most mornings, and she pulled her pillow close.

“Wasting tears again?”

Mama’s voice broke through her misery and Liz sniffled. “I’m not wasting them, Mama. They’re for someone worth them.”

She’d grown up on Mama’s funny sayings and homegrown ways. Wasting tears was Mama’s pet peeve.

“I sure hope so.” Her face was pinched with concern. “Don’ like seeing my baby hurtin’.”

“I ain’t hurtin’. Not like you think.” Liz rolled over and sat up on the edge of her bed. “I’m saying goodbye to someone I worry about.”

Mama watched her closely. “Worry tears are good uns.”

Liz had never been good at hiding much from Mama, so she didn’t even bother to try. Instead, she braced for Mama’s
unless
moment. Oddly enough, it didn’t come.

Seizing the reprieve, she smiled. “I’m fine, and I’m sure my friend will be fine as well. He has a lot on his plate, so put him in your prayers.”

Okay, so she did feel a tad bit shitty for leaning on her mother’s love for praying for others, but a girl had to do what she had to do with a well-intentioned Mama in the room ready to fight for her baby. It would have been easy if she could have described the mash-up of wanting her Texas home and city Ian. But she couldn’t find an option. So she wasn’t going to try.

She was going to work as she always had. When she laid her head down at night, she could lose herself in heated memories, hot touches and wishes of what-could-be’s. In the light of day, she would go back to where she was supposed to be.

“So whatcha got cookin’?”

Mama latched on to food talk like she did God and prayer. “Griddle cakes and spiced-up fries. Just like you like ’em.”

Liz forced herself to move. She had to go on. She’d put one foot in front of the other and sing her
keep on keepin’ on
song with the best of them. Today would be her first day back at the newspaper. She could have taken another week and a half. Her boss wasn’t expecting her back until then. As good as more ice cream, pajamas and wallowing sounded, she needed to get back to her life. She’d also scheduled her first back-in-Texas reading at the local hospital.

The day was full, and she needed to get her shit together. She hadn’t heard from Ian, and she wasn’t surprised. She’d seen the national announcements in fashion magazines, blogs and news. Ian was back in the swing of things. She’d seen his pale visage and handsome features drawn on every report. The media reported his every move like he was a celebrity.

And she’d watched, taped or searched for his interviews online. Jimmy’s funeral had been beautiful. Ian had delivered a heart-tugging eulogy. Then he was off to another show, another exotic site.

Ian’s world went on. Hers needed to as well.

Chapter Seventeen

Ian stared at Cain. “Wait. What?”

His lifelong friend swirled the untouched brandy in his glass after dropping the bomb that he was leaving.

“It’s a bodyguard gig for some model.” Cain shrugged. “You know me. Not usually my thing, but the money is incredible. Almost as good as what you pay, and…”

He paused in a way that made Ian sit forward. “And what?”

“I can’t pass it up.” Cain set his glass on the table and laced his fingers together. “It’s a good opportunity. You don’t need me anymore anyway. You haven’t for a while. I can’t keep following you around and drawing a check without doing a job. It’s just not me. Besides, Texas isn’t my thing at all.”

Ian sipped his brandy and eyed his friend. Cain was leaving him? He’d been the one and only constant in his life since he was twelve. And what the hell did Texas have to do with anything… “I’m only going to Texas to deliver on my end of the bargain.”

Cain laughed. “That’s where you’ll end up though. We both know it.”

“
We
know no such thing.”

“You can bullshit Jimmy’s family and your so-called friends.” Cain shook his head. “You can even bullshit the media and yourself. But you can’t BS me. And you can’t BS Liz.”

Anger struck Ian in a violent wave. Cain might be a great friend but who the hell was he to question Ian’s motives, future plans or Elizabeth’s involvement in his plans? “Meaning?”

“You hate this life, man. Have for years now.” Cain didn’t miss a beat. He stood, shoulders stiff and face pinched. “I’ve never said a word. Not when we were kids, not when your parents died and you went on a three-year bender. I even kept quiet when you hooked up with one disaster after another, including Jimmy.”

“You’re crossing a fine line here,” Ian warned. He’d had great times with Jimmy. Sure, they were fractured, but that’s what he came from. Uncertainty was his safe zone. No rules meant no foul.

“I have to this time,” Cain continued, breaking into the memory Ian had slid into. “You’re constantly setting yourself up for a fall. I’ve seen it time and again. But Liz is different. She’s a sure bet. I don’t blame you for bucking the odds considering what life has handed you. But it’s time to stop living in your past. She’s more than you expected, and she’s the only person I’ve met that really loves your sorry ass.”

Ian wasn’t sure how to respond. “So you’re really leaving?”

Cain ignored the question. “You’re miserable without her. She’s a good woman who would do anything to make you happy, including crying her eyes out when she left. But she hid it from you, so you could do what you needed to do.”

Ian clamped his jaw tight. He handled life, and the people it threw his way, the same as every interview or review he gave. With ice-cold precision. Why was this any different? Cain should know better. He was damn well aware that Elizabeth was a great person. Maybe too great for him to walk in and ask for a chance to make something of what they had when he didn’t know if he was able to offer it.

“I’m taking the job,” Cain said in the silence. “It’s time for something new for me, and you.”

He left the room before Ian could come up with a way to change his friend’s mind. Truth was, he’d never had to. No one had ever stayed close enough to have to worry about it.

Now the two people who meant something to him were gone, or going…

Fuck.

Ian watched the sun set through the limo windows. He’d never realized how flat Texas was. He’d seen it several times from the sky, but this vantage point was mesmerizing. The earth went on—forever. He recalled a story Elizabeth had told him about watching a storm roll in. She’d said it was like watching a curtain being drawn, the rain coming across the land like a wall. He could understand the description as the last vestiges of light drew backward over the flat ground.

It had been almost three weeks since he’d last been in Texas. His days had swirled together, hours passing before he’d known where they’d gone. Cain had stayed at his side through Jimmy’s crazy relatives, the funeral and work. But the nights had been torture. Long and lasting and lonely.

His friend had left five days ago to start his new job, and the loss was almost as acute and stunning as missing Elizabeth. Cain had always been in the shadows, watching over him, and it felt like Elizabeth had always been at his side. He’d never missed anyone the way he missed them both.

It had taken a few days, one very long platonic night with Arjun and a bottle of brandy before he realized what had been nagging at him from the moment his jet had touched down in Texas to drop Elizabeth off.

He was losing the two people he’d come to count on. Cain because he’d been like a brother, and Elizabeth because somewhere in their crazy travel, talks and sexual encounters, he’d fallen for her.

Which couldn’t be right.

Every love story he’d ever read, heard or watched on TV always had a defining moment. There was always a catalyst, a point of revelation that let the people involved
knew
that they loved someone. It hadn’t happened like that with Elizabeth. He hadn’t been looking, or lonely, or fighting against love. He’d been just fine. And still she’d wormed her way in somehow. He’d left before realizing he didn’t want to be alone, or continue to live the lie his life had become. Not when Elizabeth made him feel good. Not when she made him smile. Not when everything they were was amazing.

The sun finally set and the land outside his window turned dark. Not city dark where lights flickered and glowed from every corner. Texas went black.

If the limo broke down, there was no certain beacon that would guide him to civilization. The stark absence of light was almost as profound as Elizabeth’s absence. It swallowed him. As frightening as it was unimaginable.

He wasn’t sure exactly what he’d say, or how she’d react. All he knew was he had to try. Checking to make sure the small box in his jacket pocket was still there, he took a deep breath. He might not have much to offer a woman who wanted love, starry nights on porch swings and extended family lunches, but he had to take the chance.

Elizabeth was worth that and so much more. There had to be a happy medium.

The limo slowed and turned up a dirt drive. This was it.

Ian closed his eyes.
Here goes nothing.

“You sure you don’t wanna come with?” Brenda asked, leaning half out of her truck window.

“Next time,” Liz promised. “Thanks for the ride.”

She waved as Brenda turned her truck around at the head of the driveway and sent up a cloud of dust in her wake. Liz checked the empty mailbox and started down Mama’s driveway. She was exhausted, which was great. She hadn’t slept well in weeks. Some of the ladies from work were meeting at the local bar for a margarita round and karaoke. As fun as it sounded, she just wasn’t ready to dive back into that portion of her hometown life. The women going out tonight were single. They were looking for a good time.

Liz might be single, but she needed more time to regroup. As great as it was to be home to rooster crow alarm clocks, blue jeans and barefoot evenings, part of her missed the uninhibited life she’d experienced with Ian. A life so far apart from her reality it might as well have been a dream. Texas was where she belonged, but there was a tiny place in her psyche that would never be the same.

Her boots kicked up the comforting scent of earth as she walked. She loved it like she loved warm biscuits with sausage gravy and the strain of pulling weeds from a garden bursting with produce to can for the cellar. That love didn’t stop the intrusion of memories she’d made with Ian. They were exotic and overpowering when she laid her head down at night, the memory of his touch almost palpable in the dark. But she had to be realistic. It had been a moment in time. Beautiful and amazing, but temporary. Like prom, or spring break, or the first kiss. She had to let him go. Ian was a fantasy she’d been blessed to live, explore and memorize. All of him and his world were in her past. Hell, it’d been weeks since she’d seen or heard from him. No calls. No texts. Nothing.

He, and the ache in her heart, didn’t belong in Texas.

She repeated the mantra long enough to walk up the last bit of driveway to Mama’s house. The sleek black limo sitting out front was an odd contrast to the old farmhouse, and Liz forced her heart to slow down when it threatened to shoot into overdrive. There’d never been a fancy car in their driveway, and Mama didn’t know anyone with enough money to rent a limo.

It had to be Ian. Yeah, no such luck with the heartbeat control…

Hurrying toward the front porch, Liz stopped when she heard Mama’s voice. The windows were open, allowing the scent of apple pie to seep out onto the light breeze. Ian’s deep voice washed over her and she held back, listening.

She smiled when Mama asked him if he believed in God.

This would be interesting. She was dying to know why he was there, but seeing how he handled her mama was too tempting. She’d save him if he needed it. Eventually.

Ian balked. Mama McCarthy’s house didn’t have a patch of wall, counter or knickknack shelf that didn’t have a Bible verse, cross, hand-stitched prayer or replica of Jesus on it. She’d been welcoming. Complete Southern hospitality, but he wasn’t sure how she’d react if he told her he believed her God was a myth.

Fuck.

Tugging at his collar, he met her gaze and tried for civil truth. Lying to pacify someone wasn’t who he was. “I’m a man of science. I believe in experiments and facts and logic. As yet, I’ve never had reason to believe.”

She smiled and set a heaping serving of warm apple pie—topped with cheddar cheese—in front of him. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Yer welcome.” She sat down across from him and rimmed her coffee mug with her finger. Elizabeth had her eyes. Soft and blue and vibrant. They shared other similarities and Ian realized he was staring at a version of who Elizabeth would become.

“Science is good and bad.” Mama McCarthy smiled. “It tells us good things. It also makes all sorts of mistakes. Sometimes science makes us know more than we should and causes more worry than good.”

He wasn’t going to push her on science. Scooping another piece of the best apple pie he’d ever experienced into his mouth, he stalled. “That’s true.”

“’Course God likes thinkers.” She sent a glance heavenward like He may be watching. “Way I see it, if you live your life as a good person, don’t harm no one, and help when ya can, he’ll welcome you home in the end, believer or not. The God I believe in ain’t no snob. He knows who’s good and who’s not. When you get there and you’re good stock, he’ll point at ya with a big grin and say
I tol’ ya I was real
.”

Ian finished off his last bite and settled back in his chair. He liked Mama’s way of thinking. “If there were more who believed like you, I might have been a believer.”

“There’s many who take God too serious. There’s hypocrites too. Preachin’ one thing and doin’ another. I can see why some would question my belief in the world we live in. I tend to keep to myself. I can go to church, or I can worship from my own backyard. Don’ need fancy clothes or churches between me and Him.” Mama chuckled and took his plate to the sink. “Sorry. I tend to get sidetracked. And I don’ mean to be rude, but
Jeopardy
is comin’ on. You’re welcome to watch it with me, but if not, my baby should be home soon. If’n ya want, ya can wait on the back porch swing. I’ll let her know you’re out there waitin’ when she gets here.”

Ian knew a dismissal when he heard one. Best part was, she did it without being insulting. He crossed to where she stood at the sink and reached out to shake her hand. “I appreciate your hospitality. That was the best pie I’ve ever had.”

She looked at his hand like it was a rattlesnake and pulled him into her embrace. After a long moment, she set him back. “You need to work on your huggin’.”

Ian chuckled, as blown away by Mama McCarthy’s personality as he’d been by her daughter’s. “Yeah, I probably do.”

“Out them doors. She should be home soon.”

Ian walked out onto the porch and stared up at the stars. He’d never seen so many. It was like they’d followed him from every corner of the earth just to light up this particular night. An earthy scent drifted on the breeze and the warm evening air soothed the tension in his shoulders. An old wooden bench swing creaked from the corner of the porch. The paint was peeling and the hinges were rusted, but there was something so welcoming about Mama’s porch, he had to sit down. Elizabeth’s stories had often included a swing like this, and he felt a bond with a lifestyle he’d never experienced.

Leaning back, he closed his eyes and kicked the swing into motion. It was more than the swing, he realized. It was the collaborative Texas aura. Everything in this moment filled him with peace. “I see what you meant, Elizabeth.”

“Do you?”

Her voice coming from the shadows startled him, and he sat forward. She walked under the porch light, her eyes searching. She wore boots and jeans, and a button-down blue-and-peach plaid shirt. All that was missing was a cowgirl hat, but tonight her hair was braided and hung over one shoulder. She looked amazing and tired, and soft.

Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and laced his fingers together to hide the way they were shaking. He’d never been this nervous. Oddly enough, it felt good. Like anytime he was with Elizabeth. “Yeah. I get it. There’s something really peaceful and simple about your home.”

She rolled her eyes, but she took the steps onto the porch. “Ian, you didn’t come all this way for small talk, so why are you here?”

“Don’ be rude, baby,” Mama called from inside. “Gentleman comes a callin’ from a long ways, you better mind your manners.” Ian laughed, until she added, “’Course if’n he’s an ass and you want ’im gone, the shotgun’s loaded.”

“No buckshot bottoms for you tonight, Mama.” Elizabeth scowled. “Close the window, please.”

Mama didn’t say more, and a moment later, the window slid shut. Ian patted the spot beside him. “I’m glad you don’t want to shoot me. Though you probably should, since I didn’t even call.”