Floods 10 (20 page)

65
More the sort of what's-for-dinner luck than chicken luck.

66
There was no straight ahead.

67
You may well not have the faintest idea about the hardness of pencils. In fact, you may not even know what a pencil is. Too bad.

68
Scientists today don't realise that accountants are a much older life-form than real humans. They existed before, during and after dinosaurs and were frequently trampled to death by them as they tried to get them to sign their accounts.

69
20 September 2010: I was going to call the prehistoric accountant Neville, but this morning I got an email from my daughter Alice which said that her youngest son Donald, three, had some unusual names for some of the boys at the boarding school where his dad works. One of them is Fiscal Matters.

70
This is far too big and important and dangerous information for someone as irresponsible as you to be told. And stop thinking I just put that it because I can't think of an explanation, because I can and in the very last Floods novel –
The Floods 327: Grand Designs Revisited –
it will be revealed.

71
Too many baked beans can do that to you.

72
See the back of this book for an AMAZING revelation about the little building that is supposed to contain the Ark Of The Incontinent and an explanation of how it got its name.

73
Spudly decided he had found paradise and he wanted to spend the rest of his life in Marzipanchester. He eventually married the Mayor's daughter, who was only a little bit taller than him, and became a marzipan tycoon.