Authors: Cassandra Austin
And the silly letter sat on her desk. She kept forgetting to ask Willa what she wanted her to do with it. And she couldn’t quite bring herself to throw it away.
Jake leaned against the barn door, waiting for Emily to make her appearance. The past two days she had gone for a walk as soon as the sun was high in the sky, and he had joined her, though it was beginning to feel like torture. He had watched her grow more and more melancholy, pining for her love. Every time she got that faraway look in her eyes, he felt a pain acute enough that it nearly buckled his knees.
She left the shelter of the house, her cloak so securely wrapped around her she might have been hard for someone else to recognize. But he knew that step, that particular sway of her body as she closed the door, the tilt of her head, even under the hood, as she set off toward the path.
As she approached, he stepped from the shadow of the barn. “Good morning, Emily,” he said.
She stopped dead in her tracks. “I don’t want company this morning,” she said.
“How unusual,” he quipped. She never wanted his company. “Do we take the high road or the low road today?”
“Why don’t you go that way,” she said, motioning toward her left. “I’ll go this way. We can meet back here before dinner.”
He grinned at her, but it only made her grit her teeth. “Come on. I’m not that bad company, am I?”
She took a deep breath as if fighting her temper. “It’s not you, Jake. I simply want to be alone. Please respect that.”
There was a bite to her words that sobered him. “Emily, we walk together every morning. Why make a fuss about it?”
“Because I don’t want you along. I’ve never wanted you along.” The hood slipped from her head as she stomped a small foot on the hard-packed ground. “I don’t need another shadow!”
Jake stood stunned as she whirled past him. For a moment, he considered following her. Then he turned and walked slowly toward the barn. His pa would appreciate his help with the chores. And he would keep an eye out for Emily’s return.
E
mily headed out for a walk for the second time without Jake. She felt guilty about screaming at him the day before, but it couldn’t be helped. There didn’t seem to be any other way for him to get the message, and she couldn’t let him continue to walk with her. What if Anson was waiting for her but unable to show himself because Jake was along?
She hadn’t seen Jake since the fight, and, though she couldn’t apologize without running the risk of him expecting to walk with her again, she found herself missing him. The thought made her smile. How could she miss someone so annoying?
She was caught up in thoughts of Jake and neared the bend in the path with some surprise that she had come so far. Perhaps when she got back she should seek Jake out, suggest something else for them to do during the afternoon.
A tall figure stepped from cover into the path in front of her. She took a startled step backward. For one instant she thought Jake had gone ahead of her to avoid any argument about coming along.
But the thought fled. “Anson?” He was thinner than she remembered him. And paler. She stood rooted to the spot staring at him.
“You’re surprised to see me,” he said, coming toward her, his blue-gray eyes hard. “Were you expecting someone else?”
“Of course not,” she said, recovering. “I just didn’t know if you would really come.”
His eyes softened, and he enfolded her in his arms. “Oh, sweet child. Did you think I would abandon you? After you sent such a loving letter, how could I? I came as soon as I could.”
His arms around her seemed familiar and strange at the same time. This was Anson, her baby’s father. Everything would be all right.
“Are we leaving together?” she asked. She found herself afraid of the answer, whichever it might be.
“Tonight,” he said, drawing her away. “Can you sneak back out here with some food? We can make our plans then.”
“I don’t know. I’ll try but—” She had almost said Jake! “They watch me pretty close.”
“All right,” he said, leading her to a rock where they could sit. “I’ll tell you the plan now, just in case. As soon as it’s dark, and everyone else is asleep, meet me here. You’ll need a horse, one bag of clothes, some food and some money.”
“One bag?” She had waited so long for this, but now that it was happening she felt a need to stall.
“One bag. We’re going to take the train back as far as Emporia. There we can change to the Missouri, Kansas and Texas. We might not have much time to change trains. At Junction City we’ll get on
the Kansas Pacific, and it’ll take us all the way to Denver.”
“Denver?” What were they going to do there?
“We’ll need money,” he said. “Get as much as you can.”
“You mean steal from Christian?”
“Emily,” he said gently, drawing her closer to his side. “They’ve forced us to this. It isn’t the way either of us want it, but it’s the only way we can be together.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze before letting it go. “Besides, they wouldn’t want you to go hungry, would they?”
Emily shook her head. It was happening too fast. Yet a day ago she had thought it couldn’t happen soon enough. She looked up at the handsome face, and he smiled down at her. There was no glint of mischief in his eyes; they looked…secretive. He had his doubts about running away, as well. But, as he had said, it was the only way they could be together. She loved him more, knowing he was as uncertain as she.
He bent and kissed her quickly. “Go back now, before they miss you. Come back with food if you can.”
Jake saddled his horse in preparation for riding into town. It was midaftemoon, and he planned to spend the night at home and ride back to the ranch early in the morning.
He hated to leave Emily, though he had long since realized he was no real comfort to her. Still, the mornings when he had joined her for her walk, he imagined his presence gave her courage. Yesterday, however,
had ended that pretense. She didn’t need another shadow.
This morning he had watched for her to leave the house and waited impatiently while she was gone. She hadn’t once looked toward the barn where he waited.
Shadow, he thought as he swung into the saddle. That pretty well described what he was to her. Something present but barely noticed, insignificant. Useless.
Well, he would make himself useful elsewhere. He would ask his boss for any word from Topeka. And, though he would leave her alone for a time, he would hurry back to be her shadow again.
Emily was certain there was no chance of sneaking food out to Anson before dark. She knew she should try to think of a way, but how would she explain a second walk to Jake? It would be impossible to slip past him.
Wrapped in a shawl, she took refuge on her balcony. It looked down on the valley that dropped below the front of the house, the side away from the barnyard. Here, she had thought herself safe from any reminders of Willa’s perfect Jake.
Why did the little girl have to call all his attributes to her attention? She had been content to think of him as her childhood friend, the boy who had teased her, argued with her, gotten into trouble for her.
Yesterday morning she had yelled at him. She was leaving tonight and would probably never speak to him again. She could hardly imagine it.
Somehow, years from now, she would come back
and see her family. It hurt to think that her niece and nephew would grow up without her, but she
would
see them again.
But Jake? Where would he be by the time she was able to return? Would he be married?
She shook away the foolish thought.
She
would be married. And a mother. Her ties to Jake were from her childhood, nothing more. Still she regretted that her last words to him had been in anger.
She felt a sudden chill and wrapped the shawl more tightly around her shoulders. She would find him this afternoon, talk and tease, end things on a more comfortable note. She could even apologize to him now, since she would be gone by tomorrow.
The sound of a horse’s hooves caught her attention. She leaned over the balcony to look below her and watched Jake canter past. Had his vacation been brought to a sudden end for some reason? Would he be back before Christmas? Or was he leaving because he was tired of her moody responses to his offers of friendship?
With a sigh, she turned back into her room. It was foolish to think she had that much effect on Jake. It didn’t matter anyway. Any chance of settling things with him was gone now. She needed to put him out of her mind and think about her future.
Anson was the one she should be thinking of. With Jake gone there was a much better chance of getting food to Anson. He was probably starving.
The kitchen was empty when she arrived. She hurried to throw together some bread and meat left from the noon meal, knowing Martha could arrive at any moment to begin supper preparations.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she left the kitchen with the cloth-wrapped lunch tucked under her arm. She donned her cloak and concealed the bundle beneath it. She said a silent prayer that Christian wouldn’t be watching before she opened the back door and stepped outside.
No one hailed her as she walked past the barn, trying her best to look as if she were going for another of her frequent walks. Still her heart was pounding by the time the barn was safely behind her.
Anson wasn’t where she had met him that morning. Unwilling to call out for fear her voice would carry, she looked carefully around her. The thought that he had left without her didn’t fill her with as much panic as she knew it should.
But he hadn’t left. She saw his horse near the stream in the valley below and carefully made her way toward it. Anson slept in the sun a short distance away and woke with a start as she approached.
“I brought some food,” she gasped before catching her breath.
“Good girl.”
He made no move to rise but reached out a hand toward her. She removed the bundle from where she had tied it at her waist and took it to him.
“You didn’t bring a bottle?” he asked.
She hadn’t even thought of it “I was lucky to sneak this away,” she said.
“That’s all right.” He smiled up at her and patted the ground.
She sat beside his outstretched legs and watched him unwrap the lunch. His neatly trimmed hair and fine, clean-shaven face didn’t seem to fit with the
backdrop of winter-bare trees and brown grass. He belonged in his rich home and the fancy clubs of the city. He was giving up a lot for her.
“What will we do in Denver?” she asked.
He shrugged, chewed and swallowed before he answered. “There are a lot of opportunities. Saloons are legal there. I could deal cards, tend bar, work my way up to owning the place. You’d bring in the customers,” he added with a wink.
Bring in the customers?
Perhaps this was a good time to mention she might be pregnant.
He laughed, bringing heat to her cheeks. “You should see your face. I’m not asking you to slip upstairs with them. Is that what you thought?”
She shook her head but wasn’t sure he believed her. This was a side of him she had forgotten, his pleasure at embarrassing her. “Anson, I need to talk to you.”
He laughed, leaning forward to pat her knee. “Don’t worry, sweetheart I’ll take good care of you. Trust me?”
His half smile was so charming, his eyes so sincere, she had no choice but to nod. He scooted forward, sliding his hands under her cloak to take her in his arms. It was comforting, though not as secure as she would have liked to feel.
“Thanks for coming,” he whispered. “I’ll see you after dark. Don’t forget, only one bag and bring some money. Now, you should get back before you’re missed.” He kissed her lips hungrily then added, “Though I’d really like you to stay.”
His hands caressed her breasts as they withdrew, making her feel uneasy. His touch had never excited her the way Lynnette’s books described it, but it
hadn’t repelled her like this. Perhaps she was experiencing some unmentioned effect of being with child.
She murmured goodbye and started the climb back toward the path. She found herself thinking about Lynnette’s books as she made her way home. The heroine always longed for her lover’s touch and, though she never got to the details, the reader was led to believe that intimacy was enjoyable to both parties. Emily wondered how her sister-in-law could continue to write that way even after she knew better.
She was so preoccupied that she nearly forgot to use caution when she got back to the ranch yard. Fortunately, if anyone saw her, they didn’t question her, and she was able to return to her room to pack.
Sheriff Tom Chaffee was leaving the courthouse when Jake rode up. “I was just going to send someone out your way,” he said, when Jake had dismounted. “Come on inside.”
Jake didn’t like the sound of that. He followed his boss into the building and down the steps to the office, trying to hide his impatience.
“What’s up?” he asked, closing the door.
Tom eased into his chair behind the desk before he spoke. “Your friend Berkeley’s got himself in trouble again. Seems he demanded money from his pappy, but the old man refused. Said his son stormed out carrying a carpetbag.” Tom waved one hand in the air. “Boy says he’s never coming back. Old man says good riddance. Whole big fight. Anyway, later that night in comes a report to the police. Some guy, says he runs a dance school, was robbed.”
“Dance school?” Jake interrupted. “How much money would there be at a dance school?”
Tom raised his brows. “Well, this particular dance school had a lot of late-night business, if you know what I mean.”
“A saloon.”
“In our own dry state of Kansas. Hard to believe, ain’t it?” Tom gave Jake a wink before he went on. “The guy took a chance coming in. Said he recognized Berkeley as a…uh…student who caused him some trouble in the past. He managed to keep Berkeley from getting much more than a few bucks, but he wants the boy charged for roughing him up.”
Jake felt a prickle of fear at the base of his neck. Tom didn’t get this much information from a telegram. “When did all this happen?”
“Night before last. Got a complete report this afternoon.”
“He could have taken the train here yesterday. He could already be at the ranch!”
“Take it easy, son. We both know that’s not likely. More’n likely our boy found some place to hole up. I reckon he’ll try again for some money and get caught this time. Or shot.”
Jake wasn’t reassured. Though he was glad he had come to town to get the information, he regretted deeply leaving Emily at the ranch. He wouldn’t be able to make it back before dark, and it got cold when the sun went down. It wouldn’t be a good idea to try it, though it was all he could think of at the moment.
Tom spoke again, interrupting his thoughts. “They sent me the report because of the girlfriend, of course.
There is the off chance that he’ll try to get help from her.”
“Off chance,” Jake repeated, making it sound like a curse.
Tom laughed. “I wired back. Said we already had the girl under surveillance.”
Jake eyed his boss for a moment. Tom found the oddest things to make jokes about. “Not tonight, she isn’t,” he reminded him.
Tom stood up and started around, his desk. “Relax, son. The boy isn’t coming all this way for a girl. There are plenty closer at hand. Besides, she’s got her brother and his family out there. It’s not like he could knock on her door and not have somebody else know it.”
Jake stood to leave, trying to believe what his boss said was true. “All the same, sir. I think I’ll head back.”
Tom slapped him on the back as he went around him. “You’ll freeze your nuts off, boy. Some good you’d be then.” He laughed and headed out the door.
Jake followed more slowly. Tom might laugh, but Jake knew he was right. Anson was on the run. Who better to offer help than an innocent girl? An innocent rich girl. She had made herself an easy mark. And he had mailed the letter.
He led his horse to the water trough and waited impatiently while he drank. He considered stopping by a restaurant for something to eat but dismissed it quickly. He could wait to eat until he knew Emily was safe.