Fleur de Nuit: Bourbon Street Bondage, Book 1 (26 page)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Moira stared at the moonlight streaming in through the window, turning Kara’s skin to a soft silver. The cut on Kara’s cheek had closed to a fine line, though the skin around it was deep purple. She’d been lucky that the blow Justin dealt her was glancing—he could easily have shattered her cheekbone with the bat.

He could’ve done so much more. So much worse.

Adrian and Gideon both had assured her that the bastard would never bother her again, and in the daylight, she believed it. But the darkness of night was another story, and she found him once again haunting her dreams. The heat of his breath, the pressure of his hands, the sting of his fists…it was all there, waiting, the moment she closed her eyes.

She hadn’t slept in three nights.

The first night, she’d woken screaming. Kara had held her until she’d calmed, but Moira had remained awake. The next night was more of the same. Tonight, she’d managed not to wake Kara, but a quick glance at the clock told her it was after three, and nightmare-free sleep continued to elude her.

It was just as well Adrian had insisted she call the school. A long-term sub had been arranged, and she was officially free until after Mardi Gras. Free from work, at least. But despite assurances that her tormentor was definitely gone, despite her own suspicions of what that really meant, her mind refused to let go.

All the healing she’d worked so hard for was gone, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever get it back again. Which meant there was a good chance she’d lose Kara for good this time.

Somewhere on the street below, a lone trumpet wailed a bluesy tune to the moon. Sitting in the window, Moira laid her head on her knees, and wept.

“Moira.”

She looked up, blinking. Kara stared back, her face a mask of concern. Moira reached out and ran a finger against her cut cheek, frowning.

“Honey, you’ve hardly left the room in days.”

Moira’s hand dropped, and she looked away. “Sorry.”

Kara’s hand found hers, and the simple, warm touch was like air. “I’m not mad. I’m worried. Why don’t you get cleaned up, and we’ll go out?” Moira stiffened, and Kara rushed to reassure her. “We don’t have to do anything. We could go to dinner.”

The idea of going out and facing the increasingly wild Mardi Gras crowds sent her heart racing. Moira closed her eyes and took a slow breath. This was Kara. Dinner would be good. Nothing would happen.

Justin couldn’t hurt her.

“I know you’re scared.” Kara’s quiet voice broke through her thoughts. “I know you probably feel like you’re back to square one. I’m jumping at shadows, too.”

Moira frowned at that. Kara having a taste of her fear was the last thing she ever wanted.

“But I miss you.”

I miss you.
Moira missed herself. She remembered this feeling from the first time, the empty shell that nothing seemed to penetrate.
Coping mechanism. Avoidance.
Her mind catalogued it all in terms she’d heard in years of therapy.
I don’t want to go back to this.

She took a slow, shaky breath, and looked up at Kara, whose green eyes held a forlorn kind of hope. “Yeah. Why don’t…why don’t you pick out something for me to wear while I shower?” It felt like the most words she’d spoken in days. Like her throat had grown used to not talking. Moira reached up a hand to rub her neck, and instantly remembered the bruising. She hesitated. “Maybe…maybe something with a high neck?”

Kara squeezed her hand. “I’ll find something. Go enjoy the hot water. Take your time.”

Moira wandered into the bathroom, instinctively shying away from the mirror. Much as she tried to avoid it, though, her eye caught on a bruise as she pulled her shirt over her head, and that was it. She’d looked, and now she couldn’t not see.

Purple lines across her neck. A handprint on her arm. Bruised cheek, partial black eye. Dozens of smaller bruises she hadn’t even noticed. Moira stared at the damage he’d done to her body, and couldn’t look away.

A knock on the door startled her. “Moira, hon? Are you okay?”

Kara opened the door without waiting for an answer, and Moira turned to her with tears she hadn’t realized she’d been crying streaming down her face.

“Oh, hon…” Kara’s fingers reached out to trace her bruises.

Moira shook her head, not sure if she wanted to crawl into Kara’s arms, or push her away. “I tried not to look.”

Kara’s hand cupped her jaw. “No. You look. You earned these bruises, because you
fought
. You
won
. You beat that bastard, and he can’t ever hurt you again.”

Moira gave her a watery smile, not completely convinced. “I hadn’t thought about it that way.” She took a shuddery breath. “I don’t know if I’m up for going out. Can we… Is take-out all right? And maybe a movie?”

Kara smiled softly. “In Adrian’s private theatre? Yeah. We can do that. And maybe we can go out for coffee in the morning?”

She didn’t add
when it’s light, and there are fewer crowds
, but Moira still heard it, and was grateful. “I’d like that.”

Kara hugged her tight. “Okay.”

By the end of the week, Moira was feeling more like herself. With Kara’s gentle pushing, the traumatic fog slowly parted, but the confidence she’d felt in the weeks leading up to Justin’s return continued to lie just out of her reach. So it came as no shock that she found herself standing inside the blue room, the playroom she had most often used.

“Mon ange?”

Adrian’s voice made her turn, but only enough to acknowledge his presence. “How do I get it back?”

Adrian’s sigh was heavy. “You haven’t lost it.”

Moira shook her head. He didn’t understand. “Yes, I did. He took it from me. Again. And I can’t…I can’t…” Her hands clenched against the table where her toys lay. “I want it back, Adrian.”

“Then take it, mon ange. You know how.”

They stood in silence for along moment, before Moira spoke again. “I’m terrified I’m going to lose her.”

“Have you had the vay-yay with her?”

“No.” Moira sighed. “I have nothing to offer her right now.” She turned to face him, finally. “Help me.”

Adrian’s answer came not in the form of words, but in the form of a crop with a familiar blue handle. “Take it.”

Moira stared at it, and finally, slowly, reached out to take it.

Adrian smiled. “Bon. Command me, Maîtresse.”

Moira’s grip tightened, and slowly, she gave him a determined smile.

Moira paced outside Adrian’s office door. A week of relearning to be a Domme had worked wonders, but she still worried about Kara. She’d put up with so much, yet Moira couldn’t bring herself to let the woman go. Even if some days she was convinced it was the best thing for her.

Kara needs a Domme strong enough,
willing
enough to fight for her.

Tamara’s words haunted her, teased her with uncertainty. Willing wasn’t an issue—she wasn’t at all sure she was strong enough, though.

But God, I want to be.

So she stood there, pacing, waiting for Adrian. She needed… She didn’t really know what she needed. She needed Kara, and she needed to be brave.

Kara’s voice carried through the door, and Moira froze.

“It’s what I want, Adrian. I never ask for anything, but I’m asking for this.”

What? Moira’s curiosity won out over the closed door. She rapped quickly and pushed it open, not waiting for permission. Adrian looked up as she entered, seemingly unsurprised. Kara sat on the couch in front of him, head down and hands in her lap. Tamara leaned against the far wall, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

“Ah, mon ange. I was hoping you’d join us.”

Moira shut the door behind her and perched on the end of the couch. “What’s going on?”

“Our Kara has made a request. Not an unusual one, but one I found slightly unexpected.” Adrian looked from Moira to Tamara and back. “I’ll admit, I’m intrigued by the idea. Ma chère Kara, are you certain this is what you want?”

Kara nodded, but didn’t look up.

A sudden sense of dread slithered through Moira.
Fuck. I’m too late.

“Kara’s asked for a challenge, Moira.” Tamara pushed off the wall and sauntered over to the other end of the couch. “Between us.”

Moira looked around, confused. “A challenge? What exactly are we talking about here?”

“A domination challenge, mon ange. Used when a sub can’t decide whom they wish to be collared by. You would both top Kara in a variety of scenarios. Myself and a few others would judge. Our decision would be final.”

Moira stared at them. “You’d decide who collars Kara?”

Adrian’s gaze was steady. “Oui and non. She would have input, both voluntary and not,” he added with a smile. “But ultimately, the decision is hers.”

Moira’s heart skipped. She hesitated and looked back at Kara. She could feel Adrian and Tamara watching her, waiting to see what she had to say, but Kara was really all that mattered. “You asked for this, Kara?”

She nodded, still refusing to look up.

“Kara…”

Her best friend finally turned to her, her eyes pleading for understanding.

“Why?”

“Because I can’t keep waiting, Moira.”

Moira looked to Adrian, who wore an expression that very plainly said
did I not tell you?

She swallowed. “Waiting?”

Kara turned toward her and took her hand. “I want to be with you, Moira. I want to be yours. But I need to belong. I need to be fought for. And I need to know if you can. I’m sorry, I know this is a shitty thing to do right now, but Mistress Tamara asked me to come with her again, and…”

“And you can’t keep waiting. I get it.” Moira licked her lips. “I told you before, I’m not giving you up without a fight. I love you, Kara. I can’t stand the idea of anyone but me putting a collar on that beautiful neck of yours. And I want to. God, I want to.” She ran a finger along Kara’s neck, then shook her head and turned first to Tamara, putting as much challenge in her look as she could, then back to Adrian. “Fine. Whatever it takes, I’m in.”

Adrian pushed away from his desk, ending the moment. “Bon. I will make arrangements. We’ll reconvene in an hour to discuss terms, once I have made a few phone calls. Go, all of you. Kara.” She stopped, and Moira stopped with her. Adrian’s eyes flicked between them then settled hard on Kara. “I hope you know what you’re doing, ma chère.”

“I do. Thank you, Sir.”

Adrian flicked his hand, shooing them out of the room. Tamara shot her a smug look as she passed. Moira turned away as soon as they were out the door, but Kara stopped her.

“Are you angry?”

Moira shook her head and cupped Kara’s jaw in her hand. “No. Well, not at you. At myself, a little. I’m sorry.”

“No, you shouldn’t be.”

Moira stopped her with a single finger across her lips. “I should be. Because you’re right. We both need to know that I’m strong enough to give you what you need. Because if I’ve learned anything, it’s that this relationship has to go both ways.”

“It always has, Moira.”

She shook her head, hearing the doubt Kara tried so hard to conceal. “No. It hasn’t. Not nearly enough. You’ve done so much for me, Kara. You deserve a Domme that can really, truly be there, who can give you everything you want and need.” She took a deep breath. “And I need to be certain I can do it. I want to be that Domme. But I refuse to tie you to a relationship that can’t fulfill you. Not anymore. And if that means I lose you to Tamara, then that’s how it is, because you deserve better. My doubts have held you back too long. So honestly, I’m kind of glad you forced the issue. I was going to anyway.”

Kara started to protest, but Moira cut her off.

“No. You know I’m right. You’ve been dealing with my issues since the day you met me. I can’t for the life of me figure out why you stuck around.”

Kara swallowed. “Because I love you. I always have. I’ve been waiting for you since high school.”

Moira sucked in a breath, shocked. “I had no idea.”

Kara blushed and ducked her head to the side. “I know. It’s silly, but I couldn’t help hoping.”

“Hey.” Moira drew her face back, until Kara was looking at her again. “Don’t. It’s not silly. It’s amazing.”

“It doesn’t creep you out, or anything? That I’ve been in love with you so long?”

Moira shook her head. “No. But I feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.”

Kara cupped Moira’s jaw in her hand. “Don’t do that. Don’t feel bad. How could you have known?”

Moira turned and kissed Kara’s hand. “I don’t know. I should have. But it’s all the more reason why you shouldn’t be sorry for asking for this. For both of us.”

Kara folded herself into Moira’s arms, and the silence stretched until Moira couldn’t bear it, and then finally, Kara spoke. “Thank you.”

Chapter Thirty

“Mesdames et Messieurs, now that we’re all gathered, shall we begin?”

Moira glanced around the crowded room. Toussaint and Marcelle were there, as well as another Domme she didn’t recognize. Herself, Kara, Tamara. Master Gideon lurked in the shadows.

Adrian continued. “A challenge has been issued for the right to collar our chère, Kara. All parties involved have accepted. As Kara serves as a member of my house, I’ve claimed the right to officiate. Master Gideon St. Sauveur and Mistress Victoria Cresswell of Fleur de Nuit will stand with me, as will Master Obadiah Toussaint and his Marcelle, of La Danse Macabre. Does anyone object?”

Moira shook her head, and Kara did the same. Tamara smiled. “I’m fine with it.”

“Bon. The challenge will begin tomorrow and have three components. Both Dommes will try Kara with pain, pleasure and obedience. As the senior Domme, Mistress Tamara will begin. Your session will start with pain and move into pleasure. L’Ange Noir will have Saturday. Sunday will be obedience, and both will have a session. Mistress Tamara will have the morning and Mistress Moira will take the evening. Questions?”

Tamara sat forward with a slightly predatory grin. “What about specifics?”

Adrian smiled. “The pain component will have a time limit, naturally. Kara will be unbound and has the choice of implement. Ma chère? Do you need un moment or do you know what you want?”

Kara shook her head. “I know now, Sir. Spanking, by hand.”

Adrian lifted his eyebrows. “A challenge indeed. Very well. This will be purely based on how long you can last for each, comprendre?” Kara nodded, and he continued. “The pleasure component will follow directly. The method will be Domme’s choice, mon ange. You may do whatever and use whatever, under the normal strictures, of course. Kara is your only limit. Be creative. You may use bindings. We will be looking for both how quickly you can make her come, and conversely, how long she can hold out for you.”

Moira’s head spun.
What the hell did I get myself into?
She forced herself to fight back the panic and listen to Adrian as he continued.

“Finally, obedience. This will also be unbound, and you may use no implements on Kara. This will be about creativity, pushing Kara’s boundaries, and how she responds. If she safes-out at any point, the session will end. If you safe-out, the session will end. If either of you safes-out during the pain portion, we will break and reconvene later for the pleasure portion. Oui?”

Everyone nodded their agreement.

“Bon. Anything else?”

“Yes.” All eyes turned to Tamara. “I request that Kara be sequestered until the end.”

Adrian nodded. “Oui, I expected as much. Kara will stay here with me. If any of you wish to remain, I’ll have rooms made up in a different section of the house. Oui? Good. If there’s nothing else, the judges and I would like a word with Kara.”

Moira stood and walked out stiffly. Tamara followed her.

“Moira.”

She turned to face the other Domme. “Tamara. I have to wonder if you planted this idea.”

“I really do have your and Kara’s best interests at heart. I hope you know that.”

Moira stared at her, understanding the implied admission. “I believe you. But so do I.”

She walked away, and didn’t look back.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever.

Moira found her things moved to a different room by the time she left Adrian’s office. Kara’s, no doubt, had been moved as well. She didn’t bother going to look after Devon caught her and showed her to the new room. Every scrap of everything Adrian had bought her, clothing, toys, as well as the rest of her belongings he’d salvaged from her apartment, it had all found its way there, as well.

So had her laptop. Moira thanked Adrian’s foresight and immediately got to work. The Internet was far less helpful than she hoped, but she kept looking, long after Devon delivered her lunch. She gave up in frustration when she couldn’t keep her focus any longer.

Needing a change of scenery, she ended up wandering the house in search of Adrian. She found Devon instead.

The hulking sub smiled and bowed his head. “What can I do for you, Mistress?”

“I was looking for Adrian.”

“I’m sorry, Mistress, Master Adrian asked not to be disturbed. Is there anything I can help with?”

Moira sighed. “I don’t know. Does he have a reference library at all? For kink?”

Devon smiled widely. “He does indeed, Mistress. If you’d care to follow me?” Devon led her down the stairs and along a corridor she’d never been in before, and stopped before a set of dark double doors. He pushed them open with a flourish and a deep bow.

Moira’s breath caught in her lungs. The room was two stories high, and as big as a small ballroom. “God, I’d kill for a library like this.”

“Master Adrian does rather like it. The reference section you’re looking for is in the back on the left, on this level. Would you like me to bring you something to drink? Coffee? Bourbon?”

Moira laughed. “A little of both, maybe? An Irish coffee sounds wonderful.” She looked at the books and sighed. “When does this whole thing kick off tomorrow, anyway?”

“After breakfast, Mistress. But the sessions are closed. You won’t see each other’s rounds.”

“Ah. I wondered.”

“They only decided a short while ago.”

“Good to know. Thank you, Devon.”

“Mistress. I’ll bring you that coffee.”

She didn’t answer, only turned back to the books, already too lost in thought to hear him leave.

Moira woke to the touch of a finger along her neck. She scrambled quickly, not wanting to drop the book she’d fallen asleep reading, but Adrian had already rescued it.

“A little light reading, mon ange?” He glanced at the cover. “Japanese bondage. Mais, not so light reading, then.”

Moira ran her hands over her face and sat up. “What time is it?”

“A little after six. Did you enjoy your nap?”

She scowled. “No. I hadn’t meant to waste time. But between the fire and the books and the quiet…” She shrugged.

“And did you find what you were so diligently looking for? What exactly
were
you looking for?”

Moira gave a tight smile. “Inspiration. And yes, I think I did. I need to go out, though. That’s not a problem, is it?”

Adrian spread his hands wide. “Non. But I may have what you need, mon ange.”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t want anyone thinking you’re playing favorites, and I want to do this myself. I know where I need to go anyway. And the walk might do me good.”

Adrian gave a tight smile. “Bon. Devon can drive you, if you wish.”

“That’s all right. I want to walk.” She stood, holding out her hand for the book. “I’ll put that back, if you like.”

“Non, that’s all right. I’d like to look through it.”

She shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’ll be back for dinner.”

Adrian was waiting when she returned. Moira paused in the doorway of her room then came in with a sigh. She closed the door and set her purchases down, before sitting on the bed.

“Did you find what you needed, mon ange?”

“I did.”

He cocked his head and looked at her. “You missed supper. Should I have Devon bring up a tray?”

Moira shook her head. “No. I ate out.”

His eyebrow twitched, and he nodded. “Mon ange—”

She held up a hand to stop him. “Adrian, thank you. But you’ve trained me, and if I’m not prepared for this, then maybe Kara is better off without me.”

Adrian gave a quick smile and stood. “Very well then, mon ange noir. Bonne chance tomorrow.” He lifted her chin with a finger and kissed the corner of her mouth, his lips lingering for a long moment. “Whatever happens, I want you to know how proud I am of you.”

Moira smiled sadly. “Thank you, Adrian. I’ll see you in the morning.”